I’m outside. I need a push to go in....

[fireflylanegirls]

Today is the day. I’m back at work.

My son has been at nursery for 3 weeks and today I’m back in the office.

I’m currently sat in the car park and my heart has not stopped pounding.

It just all looks so normal. I’ve seen a few of my colleagues walk by and everyone just looks the same, happy.

I don’t know what it’s like in the office in terms of Covid, I have a meeting as soon as I go in to discuss the changes.

I don’t think I have ever felt so nervous.

I’m 19 days post my 1st vaccine so not even at the 21 day mark.

I feel like turning around and going home! 😩

@fireflylanegirls

I don’t like it and I really feel like I don’t want to go back. :(

When will you be happy to go back?

@fireflylanegirls have you sought help for your anxiety?

[quote folloyourarro]@fireflylanegirls have you sought help for your anxiety?[/quote]
@folloyourarro

Yes! I’m having CBT.

This isn’t an anxiety issue though.

I just don’t feel safe in the office.

I thought it would all seem so different when I went back.

Apart hand sanitizers, regularly cleaning and masks on entry, my office was just acting like there isn’t a pandemic!!

For instance, the government website says -

Reducing movement by discouraging non-essential trips within buildings and sites, for example, restricting access to some areas, encouraging use of radios or telephones or other electronic devices, where permitted, and cleaning them between use

Well people were leaving their desks to walk to my managers desk to talk to her!
Her and my desk are joined. Once we’re sat down the distance between our faces is 2m, but I still don’t feel comfortable people walking around near me and stood talking to my manager.

@fireflylanegirls of course it's anxiety. It's not a rational fear. Even before being vaccinated the chances of something serious happening to you were very slim, now they're even more reduced. Yes it's a pandemic but it's not Ebola, you are vaccinated, what more were you expecting than masks and sanitiser? You must realise you aren't having a rational reaction right now which is why your colleagues seem different to you, as you are the one with the issue.

[quote folloyourarro]@fireflylanegirls of course it's anxiety. It's not a rational fear. Even before being vaccinated the chances of something serious happening to you were very slim, now they're even more reduced. Yes it's a pandemic but it's not Ebola, you are vaccinated, what more were you expecting than masks and sanitiser? You must realise you aren't having a rational reaction right now which is why your colleagues seem different to you, as you are the one with the issue.[/quote]
@folloyourarro

I expect people in my room to be distancing from each other.🤷🏻‍♀️

@fireflylanegirls you just said when you're sat down there's 2 metres behind you. But either way you're VACCINATED do you know what this means?! No it isn't 100% but your chances of dying of Covid are practically nil now, you've got to find a way of getting on with it.

Op it really does sound like your anxiety is taking over. It's certainly not a critism as I also have severe anxiety.
I think a whole mixture of issues are causing this. Could you contact your CBT therapist? Just for a chat?

OP not to worsen things but once you've been indoors for X hours, whether or not you're masked makes no difference. Luckily, as cases are reasonably low right now (and hopefully people are being somewhat cautious still) the chances of there being anything to transmit are low.

I get your anxiety, kind of - I was in the office today, unavoidably, for the first time since November. And it felt weird (even though everyone there except me was vaccinated, lives alone, and is mostly sticking to the rules). But your anxiety is overtaking you and it's not good for you.

I’m really sorry you’re struggling but you sound in the grip of anxiety.

Your colleagues have likely been doing this the whole way through, so this is normal to them.

You’re vaccinated, I’m asthmatic and overweight but not obese. I’ve been taken out of the group 6 criteria despite being at increased risk of long Covid. I still haven’t been vaccinated. And I have had to work all through the pandemic in an office with 22 people. I also have two small children.

No it’s not great but you’re in a better position than most as you’re now vaccinated and your chances of getting severely ill or dying are so low.

This isn’t an anxiety issue though.

I just don’t feel safe in the office.

But it’s your anxiety making you not feel safe in the office. So it’s absolutely an anxiety issue. Honestly now you’re vaccinated your (already very small) risk from Covid has plummeted.

@JeanClaudeVanDammit

This isn’t an anxiety issue though.

I just don’t feel safe in the office.

But it’s your anxiety making you not feel safe in the office. So it’s absolutely an anxiety issue. Honestly now you’re vaccinated your (already very small) risk from Covid has plummeted.

@JeanClaudeVanDammit

So why are we still told to distance then? Even after being vaccinated.

So why are we still told to distance then? Even after being vaccinated.

Because not everyone else has been vaccinated. If I was in the office with you, distancing would be for my benefit not yours, because I haven’t had covid or been vaccinated against it.

@fireflylanegirls because not everyone is vaccinated yet, not everyone can be vaccinated, levels are still higher than they'd like. But you are vaccinated so really don't need to be the one worrying.

Are you expecting to social distance for life OP?

@fireflylanegirls

I understand that your anxiety makes it hard to see this but the root of all of your feelings is the anxiety itself. On your previous thread you were certain that you'd feel much more relaxed once you had the vaccine and on that thread lots of people said that anxiety doesn't work that way and it would just latch onto something else. Ultimately that is what happened, you had the vaccine and it didn't resolve anything.

This is just another example of that, your level of anxiety is not proportionate to the risk you are being exposed to. Your belief that your reaction is proportionate and justified is all part of the anxiety.

How long have you been taking medication now? Are you due to have a review with your GP? If your anxiety is still very high I'd suggest that you may need to try a higher dose or a different medication.

OP I have colleagues that have WFH for the last 12 months due to having mild health concerns while the some of us have had no choice but to go in to keep our business going. All was done in good will to keep people safe but we had to work twice as hard to take on the work of others that cannot be done WFH. They are now vaccinated but hesitant to return. It is starting to get a bit much now and is causing resentment. So perhaps OP it is worth considering your job and your colleagues in your feelings about this.

I can’t even read this anymore, OP how many threads do you want and how many more people do you need to reassure you?

I’ve tried to help but sometimes you need to wait until people decide to help themselves.

Doesn’t your workplace offer lateral flow tests? We’ve been doing them twice a week. Any business with ten or more employees is entitled to order them. Or any household living with a school or nursery aged child I believe.

@blueyfan

I can’t even read this anymore, OP how many threads do you want and how many more people do you need to reassure you?

I’ve tried to help but sometimes you need to wait until people decide to help themselves.

@blueyfan

I am helping myself! I’m on medication, I’m having CBT. I’ve returned to work!!!

I’m just pointing out that I didn’t feel comfortable in the office. Am I supposed to say it’s okay that my colleagues walk around the office with no mask, stand talking in the kitchen without distancing...? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m sorry if I came across unkind. But you really can’t control what other people do! You are really not helping yourself by seeking reassurance on mumsnet, or Google, or on the governments guidelines. You need to let go of the idea that you need to stop yourself getting covid. Covid isn’t going anywhere, there’ll always be a risk that you’ll get it someday. Then if you die, you die, right? We’ll all die someday. You need to accept you can’t actually control whether you catch covid or not.

I guess you’ve got 3 options

1. do nothing and put up with it
2. speak to your manager and see if they can enforce social distancing/mask wearing/staying at desks
3. quit

2 is obviously the sensible option.

I have the fear every day OP (I am a TA).
Remember you aren't alone feeling like this.

@TheOneWithTheBigNose

I guess you’ve got 3 options

1. do nothing and put up with it
2. speak to your manager and see if they can enforce social distancing/mask wearing/staying at desks
3. quit

2 is obviously the sensible option.

@TheOneWithTheBigNose

The issue is all of my colleagues have been in the office from the start, none of them have WfH.
They all seem happy with the way things are so are they really going to make any changes for one person (me) who is obviously anxious. 😥

Glad you managed it. You can only control how you behave. Wear a mask, use the sanitiser, take a flask of drinks and lunch to avoid communal kitchen. Are there screens between desks? It will get easier.