I don't want a f***ing holiday, I want to see my mom!

[MooseBreath]

So sick and tired about people thinking international travel is just about going on holiday. It's not about the beach. It's not about all-inclusive drinks. It's not about wanderlust.

Making international travel illegal (which it basically has been for months already) means that people like me, who moved to the UK due to a partner's job, have been told we cannot see our families.

Soon, we will be allowed to visit friends and family in the UK in people's gardens. We can go for walks or sit in a pub garden. After that, we will be able to go into each others' homes. And that's amazing and I'm so happy for all of the people whose lives will be bettered by this.

But I want to be selfish for a moment. What about me? What about the people like me whose families are a plane away? My grandfather in has dementia. It has worsened since the start of the pandemic and he doesn't know who I am anymore. I never got the chance to see him after his diagnosis because of the restrictions. My other grandfather has been moved into longterm care and isn't expected to live much longer. I won't be able to see either of them or likely attend their funerals, even if they are 6 months down the line.

My son who was born in May 2020 will likely never meet his 4 great-grandparents. He isn't old enough to understand video calls with his grandparents and uncles. There is no telling when he will ever meet my side of the family.

When I moved here, I did so entirely under the impression that I would be free to go home whenever I needed to or wanted to. I am so close with my family and it is hard enough being an ocean away from them, but the thought of never seeing them again is unbearable. I don't know what I want to get from this thread, but I just want some posters to understand that it's not about a holiday. Not at all.

it must be very hard. My friend can't see her family either.

Have you looked at all the reasons you are allowed to travel to see if you qualify?

I have. I could go after they have passed, but would need to quarantine for 2 weeks and would therefore miss the funeral, then have to quarantine upon returning to the UK, so wouldn't be able to work for at least a month.

It's shit. I was in a long term lockdown area so last summer people were going abroad on holiday with not isolation required whilst I couldn't meet with my DC that live 30 minutes away 😢, still can't now.

Work hard at finding workrounds.

I hear you I'm in same situation except from UK originally and moved abroad for study/work. My kids cry quite often about how much they miss their grandparents and I miss my parents too. It totally sucks and I currently see no end

We have a similar scenario, we have family abroad too who are desperate for a visit home.

It said it was illegal to leave the country without a reasonable excuse, you need to find if any of your reasons can come under any of the excuses

It'll open up by the summer. MP's will want their holidays in France and Italy.

There is an exemption to visit critically or terminally ill relatives - I think you need proof of their condition and of your relationship.

totally agree. I haven't seen my parents and other family members for 1 year 3 months. im a single parent with no support network and working full time. I need my family.
but I will abide by the rules

I hear you. I’m in Europe, family in UK. Was actually due to be there now but flights were cancelled, and the whole requirements around testing and quarantine in both countries, as well as the escalating situation here, mean there’s no chance of seeing my parents anytime soon. I have a milestone birthday coming up and really hoped to be with my family for it. It’s shit but what can we do?

And this is the reason why many are reevaluating their lives so far and making different plans for the future regarding where they live and work. Seriously, we will have to live with this virus/its variants for some time to come. I know so many families who have made fairly drastic lifestyle changes in the past year. It's OK to vent, it's shit all around not being able to visit family due to distance. Fingers crossed, travel restrictions will be temporary - I'm fairly sure all countries want tourism to happen this summer.

I'm pretty sure that visiting a seriously ill close family member would suffice as a good enough reason for travel. And if you really needed/wanted to go, you'll make the request for leave from work including maybe unpaid leave on compassionate grounds. No one is going to stop you visiting a terminally ill relative - you won't get fined for that!

You are not being unreasonable feeling like this. It sucks. I have been separated from my partner, family, friends for over a year. I am truly grateful that our PM is such a marvel and that our health, economy and education are so, relatively, safe. But I feel like I am stuck on an island in a big ocean (NZ). I am surrounded by people whose family and friends are all here. We are all meant to be grateful and simply cannot complain because we are so SO much more fortunate than most of the rest of the world but I feel trapped.

I feel the same. I live hours away from my vulnerable parents and I have a young child. I can't do a six hour round trip to sit in their garden.

I don't care about a haircut or being able to see my friends in a pub garden. I want to be able to go and stay over night with my folks. I want to hug my mum. I've not seen them in over a year. I am sad that it is considered as far down the list as going on holiday.

Don't you need to travel to view a house for rental or to buy? Just a thought.

I haven't got the money to quarantine on either side (and my home country is currently insisting on hotel quarantine rather than at a residence at the cost of the traveller). Visiting a terminally ill patient is allowed, but dementia isn't classed as terminal, and my other grandfather has no diagnosis and is simply deteriorating, so I have no letters from doctors. I honestly wish there was a diagnosis so that I could use that as a loophole, but it's just not feasible.

I'm surrounded by people whose families live a five minute walk away, and I'm so envious right now. They've been going on socially distanced walks for months. It's just so hard to watch.

@User133847

It'll open up by the summer. MP's will want their holidays in France and Italy.

LOL it really won’t. If by a miracle we do open travel then a mandatory 2 week quarantine in a hotel either side of the trip should be expected. We need to make it as difficult as possible for people to travel so that the risk of exposure to variants is minimised as much as possible.

Otherwise we’ll be in a long winter lockdown, again.

You can go to see vulnerable relatives at any time, the regulations say so. I looked at them today after Xenia posted them on here.

Quarantine at your destination is a different issue, but UK (English) law allows you to go.

@Si1ver

I feel the same. I live hours away from my vulnerable parents and I have a young child. I can't do a six hour round trip to sit in their garden.

I don't care about a haircut or being able to see my friends in a pub garden. I want to be able to go and stay over night with my folks. I want to hug my mum. I've not seen them in over a year. I am sad that it is considered as far down the list as going on holiday.

Same. Plenty of people in the UK haven't seen their family elsewhere in the UK either. In order to keep their vulnerable relatives safe, due to tier restrictions and lockdowns.

@MooseBreath I hear you. It’s so hard. I am from a country with rising numbers so unlikely that quarantine will be lifted. My relatives are also jn lockdown so also unlikely we could meet in a third country or they could come to the Uk.
My DD is missing her GP and I have already missed a family funeral. I have been so depressed since this morning. I miss my family and my home country.

I hear you MooseBreath. My parents last saw their grandkid in late 2019. DC only knows them in videos. DC can't even meet UK grandparents because we abide by rules. DC's safe spaces are nursery and her parents really. Hugs!!!

I hear you. I work for an international company and many of my colleagues and friends are in similar positions. I was based overseas and decided quite rapidly to move home because I have elderly parents in poor health. Similar to you, previously it was a greater distance and cost but no real difference to living in a different city in the same country in terms of seeing them. Post Covid and quarantine and border closures it was completely different. I was fortunate I only had me to think about and my company was accommodating. I hope you get to see your family soon, but I think it will be a long time before we return to the ease of travel we enjoyed before.

It’s absolute bullshit. I haven’t seen my family since December 2019 and most likely won’t this year either. Actually makes me cry thinking about it .

I’m in the same boat OP. Haven’t seen family for 2 years and I live alone too - my partner lives abroad. It really, really hurts when I see people on here basing ‘selfish holidaymakers’ and advocating shutting the borders forever so life can go back to normal here and people can see their families again. Do people not have the slightest bit of imagination to think that not everyone lives driving distance away from family and all international travel is a ‘holiday’.

And for posters saying people like me should reevaluate and go back to here we came from - it’s not that simple. I work in a highly specialised field and am British now. I wouldn’t have the right to live or work, or even find work in my country of origin. Nor would I want to as my entire life, my flat, my jobs, savings, pension is here.

It’s nearly 2 years since I saw my family. We moved to France 5 years ago, but close to 3 airports so it was easy to get back. I’m so unhappy about being away from them for so long I really am considering moving back. My DCs are suffering too without seeing their grandparents for so long. I don’t see any way out atm

I've been shouting the same at the news today. I'm so sick of people whinging permanently about their mental health and using it as an excuse for breaking rules, whilst my DC haven't seen their grandparents in nearly 2 years.