I don't want a f***ing holiday, I want to see my mom!

[MooseBreath]

So sick and tired about people thinking international travel is just about going on holiday. It's not about the beach. It's not about all-inclusive drinks. It's not about wanderlust.

Making international travel illegal (which it basically has been for months already) means that people like me, who moved to the UK due to a partner's job, have been told we cannot see our families.

Soon, we will be allowed to visit friends and family in the UK in people's gardens. We can go for walks or sit in a pub garden. After that, we will be able to go into each others' homes. And that's amazing and I'm so happy for all of the people whose lives will be bettered by this.

But I want to be selfish for a moment. What about me? What about the people like me whose families are a plane away? My grandfather in has dementia. It has worsened since the start of the pandemic and he doesn't know who I am anymore. I never got the chance to see him after his diagnosis because of the restrictions. My other grandfather has been moved into longterm care and isn't expected to live much longer. I won't be able to see either of them or likely attend their funerals, even if they are 6 months down the line.

My son who was born in May 2020 will likely never meet his 4 great-grandparents. He isn't old enough to understand video calls with his grandparents and uncles. There is no telling when he will ever meet my side of the family.

When I moved here, I did so entirely under the impression that I would be free to go home whenever I needed to or wanted to. I am so close with my family and it is hard enough being an ocean away from them, but the thought of never seeing them again is unbearable. I don't know what I want to get from this thread, but I just want some posters to understand that it's not about a holiday. Not at all.

@MooseBreath

My mom can't come see me either because of the quarantine restrictions. It's too costly to pay for hotels as well as a trans-Atlantic flight - it literally quadruples the cost of the (already expensive) trip.

I agree with @SwedishK that citizens should be allowed to travel to their home country and back without hotel quarantine.

I agree with @SwedishK that citizens should be allowed to travel to their home country and back without hotel quarantine. Why are they immune yo covid and transmitting it? 👀 Plenty of people returned to their home countries at first opportunity last year. If you didn't that was a choice!

Oh, balkanscot, that sounds miserably difficult. I'm so sorry.

I'm also fed of with people saying "Oh I haven't been able to visit my elderly parents either, they live outside our local area"--there's a huge difference between no opportunity to travel to see them at all for a period of YEARS, and a reasonable hope of being able to visit them fairly soon.

My sympathy to everyone in our predicament.

I have just got off a FT call with my daughter.
She lives in a different country to me (neither of us are in the UK).
She and her partner are on day 1 of isolating with two under 4s in a 3rd floor flat. Both of them are also (supposedly) working from home full time.

Luckily, they live somewhere where grocery delivery is easily accessible.

I would love to be able to go and help out and keep the children occupied and have always been able to get a cheap flight and be there in 24 hours for emergencies. There is technically a loophole for helping with childcare. But there are no flights available. Driving would take days and I guess that not many hotels are taking guests and all restaurants are shut in both of our countries anyway.

to everyone missing family in other countries.

None of this is fucking sensible anymore. It's stupid, barbaric and cruel.

Oh I feel for you. My nan is in her 90's and isn't British. Her brother and his family all live in her home country. She hasn't been for a few years due to ill health but last year she was doing great, flights booked but obviously cancelled. She's poorly again now. She will probably never make the trip again. She probably won't make the end of the year and her brother won't be able to come here. It's all just so shit

@BusyLizzie61

Well, no. We are not immune to transmit the virus, but rather than allow 67 million Brits to travel, where the majority would only travel for fun, a much smaller percentage who are citizens of other countries, should be allowed to go to their home countries. It will limit the transmission because the number of people travelling would still be relatively small.

The reason, I would imagine, most of us couldn't just up sticks and move in March last year is because we have jobs, kids (who go to schools here) and even wives/husbands who are British. It's not as easy as to say, if you want to see your parents again then you have to abandon your spouse and children and move out of the country. I have been here almost two decades, and my husband is British so he wouldn't even be allowed to move with me because of the stupid f-ing Brexit. I couldn't just leave everyone permanently.

This whole thing just feels like it goes against our human rights. It probably doesn't, but it certainly feels that way.

[quote SwedishK]@BusyLizzie61

Well, no. We are not immune to transmit the virus, but rather than allow 67 million Brits to travel, where the majority would only travel for fun, a much smaller percentage who are citizens of other countries, should be allowed to go to their home countries. It will limit the transmission because the number of people travelling would still be relatively small.

The reason, I would imagine, most of us couldn't just up sticks and move in March last year is because we have jobs, kids (who go to schools here) and even wives/husbands who are British. It's not as easy as to say, if you want to see your parents again then you have to abandon your spouse and children and move out of the country. I have been here almost two decades, and my husband is British so he wouldn't even be allowed to move with me because of the stupid f-ing Brexit. I couldn't just leave everyone permanently.

This whole thing just feels like it goes against our human rights. It probably doesn't, but it certainly feels that way.[/quote]
Go and pay the quarantining costs or stay there then until covid is over.... I get that it means uprooting families, leaving jobs etc, but that's really a choice isn't it?

I don't agree that your situation is exceptional requiring alternative options. You will always see others travelling asholidaying and try to differentiate yours. Yours is most definitely an extended period of leisure and recreation, especially one spent away from home or in travelling. That's the absolute definition of holiday.

@BusyLizzie61

But that's my point. I don't even have the option to quarantine and do all of that. My country will let me enter, but that's of no use since the UK doesn't allow me to leave!

I'm not going to a wedding, a funeral or care for critically ill parents. I have old parents, who may not be around in 6 months or a year from now, but they are not critically ill so I can't go and see them.

If my parents live in a town an hour away, I could still go and see them and form a bubble with at least one of them as they both live alone, but I can't even do that.

I think if you are not in the same situation, it's perhaps hard to understand how it feels. When I moved here, it wasn't with the idea that I would at some point be banned from visiting my family.

I’m pretty sure most people can differentiate between a week in the sun versus visiting another country because of a personal connection. Indeed I think the government’s own guidelines differentiates between people who own property abroad and those that don’t (how British is that 😆). The risk of carrying Covid is the same of course between those groups.

Fortunately last year I remember travel was very much easier from here (not U.K.) for those with close family abroad and I think that will be the same this year.

In case anyone wants to sign a petition to allow those with family abroad visiting them
petition.parliament.uk/petitions/565102

Same. We can’t reevaluate our lives - we are married and have relatives a large ocean apart!
Like so many others.
We are humans, not animals.

Thanks for sharing that petition.

We have not seen my family in 1.5 years and we haven’t seen DH’s family for two years. We have missed a grandparent’s funeral and a sibling’s wedding. My dad is critically ill and it is possible he will not make it to summer. He is an ocean away.

The people moaning that they have also not seen their UK-based parents (who perhaps live in the town down the road but are shielding) need to put a sock in it. It is absolutely not the same.

I understand you OP - I am an immigrant, with very close family on three different continents.

But - I'd take issue with this being an exception. As I've said elsewhere on MN, I struggle to think of anyone I know who isn't in the same boat. The UK is an ex-Empire in a highly globalised world - of course a massive number of people in it will have family abroad, either because they are an immigrant, like me, or because their own families have emigrated somewhere else.

And this is the reason why many are reevaluating their lives so far and making different plans for the future regarding where they live and work. Seriously, we will have to live with this virus/its variants for some time to come.

The poster who wrote this has come under fire, but I think she's right. We've had decades of very cheap airfares, and very easy air travel, and that is - like it or not - coming to an end, because of many reasons, the pandemic only being a major one. We will have to start to make choices about whose lives we are part of, in a way we haven't, but that our parents and grandparents may have had to, when they relocated across the world. So, for example, I have told my son that if he ever emigrates to Australia, I will emigrate, too (if I am allowed), to at least be on the same continent as him - though I will live in a different city to give him his space! (He currently has no plans to emigrate to Australia....)

...though, of course, unlike our parents and grandparents, we can still keep up with family on the other side of the world, regardless. I can chat to my beloved sister-in-law on the phone, send her flowers, and all the rest of it, more easily and cheaply than has ever been possible before, even though she lives in another timezone.

Thank you for the petition! I have signed.

@ArcheryAnnie Our grandparents who moved continents didn't do so under the impression that they could visit regularly and would have taken that into consideration. People in the 21st century have grown up knowing that it is easy and relatively inexpensive to get from one side of the world to another. There is a very big difference.

Yes!!!

I said the same thing yesterday on another thread. I’m in the US, parents in the UK, not seen one another for 15 months, and I’m even starting to have doubts about them coming for a month in August, which is what we’ve all been living for throughout the winter.

Indeed, MooseBreath - but I think the age of very cheap, very easy international air travel is coming to an end, or at least a middle. I think we are going to have to think about where we live, and where we settle to have kids, much more carefully in the future.

I know a fair number of people who went away last summer, mostly to EU but also Russia and Turkey. Some went several times to several places. It was a mixture of holidays and seeing family. I don't understand why more people didn't do this but they clearly didn't or it was too far for them to go or there were specific restrictions at the time. I'm sure I sound dumb, sorry!

@Davros

I know a fair number of people who went away last summer, mostly to EU but also Russia and Turkey. Some went several times to several places. It was a mixture of holidays and seeing family. I don't understand why more people didn't do this but they clearly didn't or it was too far for them to go or there were specific restrictions at the time. I'm sure I sound dumb, sorry!

I can only speak for myself, but I didn't go to see my parents in the summer because when the cases were low here, they were high where they live and vice versa. I also couldn't justify for my kids to be locked in at home, quarantining when we got back after the awful spring they had being glued to their screens. The final reason was that there was no signs of any vaccine at the time.

Now both my parents have had their first vaccine and the second shot is a couple of weeks away. I have had my first shot and I should get my second one before the summer. However, now I can't go because the UK government has decided I am not allowed.

None of my friends had to quarantine last summer

@Davros

I know a fair number of people who went away last summer, mostly to EU but also Russia and Turkey. Some went several times to several places. It was a mixture of holidays and seeing family. I don't understand why more people didn't do this but they clearly didn't or it was too far for them to go or there were specific restrictions at the time. I'm sure I sound dumb, sorry!

I had flights booked for visiting my family in north Spain for the 27th of august. Direct flights. 1st of July flights were resumed to Spain but not to my city. They were meant to start on tje 1st of august. 20th of July Spain was added to the quarantine list (or something like that ) Easyjet decided to cancel the whole route to my town. It’s not been available yet.

Yes I could have travelled via London but that would have meant quarantine when travelling back resulting in an income of £600 because of nursery fees.

I could have traveled in Xmas as Spanish citizens are allowed back however I didn’t want to risk bringing them something and also losing 600 in nursery fees + 600 Flight tickets.

It’s not as easy for everyone. This year I don’t care about quarantines if I lose nursery fees I’ll lose them. Can’t wait til this is over to see my family , I’ll be vaccinated as well so less risk

@Davros

That's quite possible. Some countries were on the travel corridor list, which meant you didn't have to quarantine for two weeks when you came back.

I only had reason to go to home to Sweden though, who weren't on the list, and travelling anywhere else didn't feel particularly appealing at the time.

Just like @EasterIssland I have had multiple trips booked and cancelled too over the last 12 months. I think it's 6 different trips now, which were all cancelled. It takes months to get the money back and not everyone can afford to wait for that. It's not like flights have been cheap this last year.

I’ve had my flights cancelled back to my home twice. My family has had it cancelled twice to come and visit me as well. So 4 chances of meeting cancelled.
I also had another 4 holidays cancelled. Luckily all money on my pocket.

I’ve bought today flights to go and see family in July. Hope this time it goes ahead

I’m still very confused as to why, once the vaccine has created a herd immunity effect, in two places, what the danger is of travelling between those places. I obviously don’t think that travelling and potentially starting another epidemic is a good idea, and that’s clearly worth making personal sacrifices to avoid. But soon we will be at herd immunity level so the r number will not be able to raise about 1. The epidemic will be always dying out wherever it’s seeded. Variants will be a problem forevermore. I don’t understand why once herd immunity is reached what difference time passing will make.