The vaccine hasn’t made a difference

[fireflylanegirls]

I had my vaccine last week (group 6 high BMI milk asthma)

I’ve spent over a year now worrying about Covid.
I don’t go to supermarkets, I haven’t been to one for over a year, I haven’t met anyone indoors (even when it was permitted)
I very rarely do much unless it’s outdoors.
My husband works from home, we have our shopping delivered and I wash everything down.

I had a baby last February and was diagnosed with post natal anxiety & ocd for which I had CBT.

When the vaccines were approved I was so happy.
I thought it would make so much difference to how I feel.
It hasn’t. I don’t feel any better for being vaccinated.

I still read about Covid several times a day, wash my shopping and stay in the house.

I’m honestly not sure how much longer I can cope feeling this way.

I’m having more CBT and I’m taking Sertraline but I still cannot get past this worry.

My son started nursery this week as I’m back to work in 3 weeks.
I’ve been scared to be close to my son now in fear that he’s got Covid and will pass it to me.

My husband has said I’m making him miserable with how obsessed I am with Covid.

I just don’t know what to do anymore 😭😭😭

Are you doing all the CBT ‘homework’? For CBT to work you really need to engage with what you’re being told to do.

Nursery wise- young kids are known not to be vectors, so many friends kids have had covid and not passed it on, plus you’ve had a vaccine.

You need to try and put it into perspective, rates are low, you’ve had your jab, kids don’t really pass it on, you’ve survived a year, keep going

@OverTheRainbow88

Are you doing all the CBT ‘homework’? For CBT to work you really need to engage with what you’re being told to do.

Nursery wise- young kids are known not to be vectors, so many friends kids have had covid and not passed it on, plus you’ve had a vaccine.

You need to try and put it into perspective, rates are low, you’ve had your jab, kids don’t really pass it on, you’ve survived a year, keep going

@OverTheRainbow88

Yes I’m doing everything they give me, plus I’ve bought CBT books to work through.

I’ve only survived a year because I don’t do anything.

I’m existing and it’s making me miserable 😖

Accept the risk is there. Stop looking at covid news as far as possible. Take baby steps towards challenging yourself. At this point it would be healthier for you to attend an all night rave without your mask and hand sanitiser than to live the way you are living. This has hit you at a hard time as a new mum but you can overcome these excessive anxieties about a real but - to you and your baby - small risk. Book yourself into the hairdresser in a few weeks. Go to a garden centre. Meet a friend outside. Get a takeaway coffee. Build your confidence in getting out into the world again. Trust your dhs risk approach because he's not unwell.

Well, if you're the person who was considering giving up their job due to the covid risk, I'd say the fact that your DS is in nursery and you're going back to work is a huge step forward.

Has absolutely nothing changed in your COVID anxiety?

Am I right in thinking that your high BMI is what's worrying you? I know that we can all say that you are young and female, so the statistics are on your side. But that it's difficult for you to believe that. Plus you've been vaccinated too, which is great!
If you need to feel in control, I think lowering your BMi will help. I'm sure you've been trying over the year. Can you ramp that up? Doing whatever works for you...low carb (not no carb) / 8 week blood sugar diet / 5:2 /16:8, tracking calories.
The weather is getting slightly better, so increasing steps to 15,000 per day might be doable?

You have had a whole year of worry, this isn’t going to disappear overnight. Engage with your CBT and try to listen to the good news (rather than scaremongering). Remember Vaccines work at reducing the severity of the disease and preventing death. Even if your son got covid, he is not going to get seriously poorly. You will get through this but it will take time!

I’ve only survived a year because I don’t do anything.

What do you mean by this? You think you would have died of covid if you had gone anywhere?

@InsideNumberNine

Well, if you're the person who was considering giving up their job due to the covid risk, I'd say the fact that your DS is in nursery and you're going back to work is a huge step forward.

Has absolutely nothing changed in your COVID anxiety?

@InsideNumberNine

I am that person.

No. Nothing has changed.

I was physically sick today after dropping my son to nursery. I’m going over and over things in my head why I should just quit my job and take him out of nursery.
When I went to collect him I was frightened to touch him and kiss I’m because I felt like he’d been “contaminated” and had Covid.

I can’t be a mum to him when I’m like this.
It’s absolutely awful. 😭

@DianaT1969

Am I right in thinking that your high BMI is what's worrying you? I know that we can all say that you are young and female, so the statistics are on your side. But that it's difficult for you to believe that. Plus you've been vaccinated too, which is great! If you need to feel in control, I think lowering your BMi will help. I'm sure you've been trying over the year. Can you ramp that up? Doing whatever works for you...low carb (not no carb) / 8 week blood sugar diet / 5:2 /16:8, tracking calories. The weather is getting slightly better, so increasing steps to 15,000 per day might be doable?

@DianaT1969

My GP referred me to a weigh management programme.
I was assigned a support worker from the weight loss team and given a 12 week weight and exercise programme.

So far I’ve lost 12lb. I don’t feel better. I just can’t stop worrying.

@fireflylanegirls you need to get more intensive mental health help. Go back to your GP. The longer you don’t participate in society the worse it will get.

What would make you feel differently about the risk? Do you think you will feel differently after the second vaccine? If you didn’t go back to work? If your son didn’t go to nursery?

Trying to work out your thought processes.

HANG IN THERE. This is so incredibly sad. You can't just tell yourself not to be afraid. It's irrational so rational arguments don't work. Keep doing the CBT and believe that things will get better.

@MazekeenSmith

What do you mean by this? You think you would have died of covid if you had gone anywhere?

I mean had I have gone anywhere then I likely would’ve caught Covid and yes, died.

My son been around babies at nursery is the first time he has ever played with babies his own age.

He was so happy. So confident.

I was the one sat worrying and just wanted to scream when all the other babies were touching him. 😞

You need to retrain your brain from feeling that "fight or flight" reaction.

One way to do this is to make yourself to do the thing that scares you over and over, until you have taught it that nothing bad will happen (even if the first few times you're feeling sick and even crying).

So for example, the next time you can, cuddle your son. Then make yourself do it again. Go outside for a walk and don't cross the road when people are fairly near. All this sort of stuff, over and over until its normal again.

You won't be alone in this, a fair few of us will need to overcome the conditioning we've given ourselves.

@TheBusiness

What would make you feel differently about the risk? Do you think you will feel differently after the second vaccine? If you didn’t go back to work? If your son didn’t go to nursery?

Trying to work out your thought processes.

@TheBusiness

Honestly I was going to quit my job. But I keep telling myself being stuck in the house is no good for me, or my son.

Seeing my son at nursery made me so happy. He loves it.
He loves playing with the other babies.

I know staying in isn’t good for either of us but going out is so so hard.
I feel so depressed today because the worry of him being at nursery for the last 3 days is too much.

I feel like just walking out and leaving him with his dad because I don’t want to make his life hell with my anxiety.

I still read about Covid several times a day

There's the hub of your problem. Stop feeding your anxiety!

@notrub

I still read about Covid several times a day

There's the hub of your problem. Stop feeding your anxiety!

@notrub

I have to. I feel like I really have to read about it and see what’s going on.

You've got to recognise nothing will make you feel differently about the risk - changing your behaviour to avoid more risk such as quitting your job won't solve the problem (as I think you've realised now you've had the vaccine and you don't miraculously feel better). You need to recognise this is a mental illness talking, not logic. I agree with others that you need to 'desensitise' to the false risk your mind is presenting you with - make yourself keep him in nursery, make yourself hug him, make yourself go to the shop. Then when you don't catch covid and die you'll realise gradually the risk is really all in your head. And I agree that you should push for further support, can you afford a counsellor or ask for more therapy sessions? To be at the point of quitting your job and unable to leave the house is not healthy and you need help. For me a big part of recovering from my anxiety and depression was to realise that just because I'm thinking those thoughts/feeling those feelings, doesn't make them 'real' or 'true' and that made it much easier for me to not engage with them.

Also have you tried mindfulness? Doing a daily meditation on my way to work with this book 'Mindfulness. A Practical Guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World' and the audio that came with it really helped too (although like everything it took time to have an impact). It helped me realise thoughts are just thoughts and anxious feelings are just feelings and you don't have to 'listen' to them or 'follow' what they're telling you to do.

You know one in three people that do catch covid don’t know they’ve got it? The chances of you dying from it are very remote. Why don’t you order yourself an online testing kit? Would it give you any peace of mind to see a negative result every week?

I work in a school. I go to the shops. I’ve been to the opticians, the garden centre for pet food, the post office every week, the health food shop, the butchers. I haven’t caught covid. I have to test myself twice a week for school and it’s negative every time.

I know it’s hard to believe anyone when your mind is like this but there’s lots of positive news out there too.

@notalwaysalondoner

Also have you tried mindfulness?

I haven’t. I will give it a try.

Weird title but okay.

I'm not sure if you're in the UK, but if you are try to watch a re-run of the Govt CV update from today (it went out at 5pm). Prof JVT gave some compelling stats around those that have had the vaccine and their level of immunity both from Covid and their chances of passing it on. It went along the lines of antibody protection started to develop between 14-21 days after having the first vaccine dose, and then increased upon having the second....all based on research of AB levels in those that have had the vaccine.

I hope this, combined with the CBT work, have a positive effect on the way you feel about CV and the much lesser chance you have of catching it once vaccinated, and also those that live with you have of catching it given that you are now vaccinated.

Try and stay strong, you WILL get through this....we will ALL get through this...a greater level of normality is just round the corner.

@MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig

I go to the shops. I’ve been to the opticians, the garden centre for pet food, the post office every week, the health food shop, the butchers.

I would honestly love to do those things.

We have a huge garden centre near us. I keep thinking I’ll take my son one morning. They have an aquatic section and he’d love it. Pip him in the trolley and take him round.
I haven’t been able to.

I feel like Covid is just there in the air waiting for me.

I remember your last thread. I thought you would quit so going is a massive step, even if it doesn't feel it. How is your work? The more time you spend around people the easier it will start to get.
Well done on the weight loss. Every pound off reduces your risk further.
Honestly I would stop watching the news and certainly reading about covid on here. Very few people of your age have died. We have learned such a lot and treatment has improved. You are probably putting yourself at greater risk crossing the road or driving while your mind is so preoccupied than covid will ever present to you

@Doomsdayiscoming

Weird title but okay.

@Doomsdayiscoming

Sorry you think that.