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Original poster

Household gatherings

413 replies

daffodil10 · 10/03/2021 21:03

As we trail towards the next deadline, truthfully are people sticking absolutely to the no household mixing etc? Or are people sneaking round to each other's for meals etc

I am sticking to it but only because my husband keeps me on the straight and narrow which is obviously the right thing to do. Just wondered?

OP posts:
Unmellowbirds · 10/03/2021 23:40

@frasersmummy none taken Smile.

FWIW, I don't personally have any fear of catching Covid - I appreciate this may be naive but I'm not in any particular risk category- although would rather not purely as it wouldn't be ideal with 4 DC and a job.

But I was very struck at how quickly we went from low rates in Autumn to the second peak. I now get how easily
this thing spreads and how long it takes to get it back under control. If it means waiting a bit longer to see my family, so be it. But it's not easy (we've seen them once since Christmas 2019 - a short visit staying nearby for my mum's 80th in August) and they are missing out on so much of their grandchildren's lives. Hence my irritation when others can't forgo an indoor coffee when they are fortunate enough to be able to see their families.

Ilovemypantry · 10/03/2021 23:42

@fireplaceburning

I'm not mixing indoors but I have had a friend round for coffee- I think you're meant to only meet in a public place
So you are mixing indoors then?
XenoBitch · 10/03/2021 23:43

@AlexaShutUp

I do care... but there are other things that are a threat that are not Covid. Like the horrible campaign says.. "look them in the eyes"... well, look them in the eyes and say their last months from terminal illness should be spent alone for "the greater good"... or tell someone with suicidal thoughts that it is for the best as they are saving grannies by staying at home alone with their torment.

I have great sympathy for those who are terminally ill or genuinely suicidal. With regard to the latter, I believe that you are permitted to provide urgent care to someone who is vulnerable.

However, I don't believe that all of the rule breakers on this thread are terminally ill or suicidal. And even amongst those citing mental health reasons, I suspect a lot of them will be bogus - mental health has become a bit of a "get out of jail free" card for lots of people who just use it as an excuse to do whatever they like. There is a huge difference between people who are just fed up and frustrated with lockdown and those who have acute mental health needs which mean they have to get support.

Why should anyone have to get to the point of crisis to be allowed support from a friend? You sound like mental health teams... ignored until you are in A&E and totally out of control.
ElephantBabies · 10/03/2021 23:44

@fireplaceburning

I'm not mixing indoors but I have had a friend round for coffee- I think you're meant to only meet in a public place
"I'm not mixing indoors, but..." oh so you actually are then!
HelpIcantfindaname · 10/03/2021 23:51

I'm a carer for my parents so I have to go into their house, but I haven't hugged them since Christmas day when I'd self isolated for 10 days first. They don't need personal care yet so I can keep my distance.
I'm a teacher but still wfh, as I'm vulnerable, I'm working online with kids who are shielding or self isolating.
My partner is my bubble but he's vulnerable too so we still SD from each other, although we do sit in each others houses now... Opposite sides of the room with masks on & windows open..
We are sticking to rules & being extra cautious, as we are both single parents & need to be well for our children..

icegarden · 10/03/2021 23:51

95% yes but DC play freely in parks and if they know other kids - great, We've had no mates round. I'm a key workers. Just can't do it and risk it

doubleshotespresso · 10/03/2021 23:52

We are still sticking with, have been really strict on this with both family and friends. I've actually forgotten what it's like to have a gathering at home. It's been the 3 of us only here for over a year now at home.

But... I really am struggling with it now, it's been relentless with one thing or another, still home schooling etc and I'm so exhausted now. A bit of company would help so much if only for a few hours

tillyandmilly · 10/03/2021 23:52

yes sticking to the rules not even meeting my sister in the garden until the 29th March - I want this to end and get back to normal so I will abide by the rules as we were told to do.

whatswithtodaytoday · 10/03/2021 23:54

Sticking to it. Don't want to get Covid.

StellaKowalski · 10/03/2021 23:54

This reply has been deleted

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Youngatheart00 · 10/03/2021 23:55

Yep. Still sticking with it. Though I’d dearly love to see my mother, on Sunday. She has been vaccinated but I haven’t and she’s only had one dose. I’ve seen her once in the past year. All you petty rule breakers I really do resent you (sorry).

QueenPaw · 10/03/2021 23:56

Yes and no. My dad came over to fix my kitchen sink. I could have got a plumber but as I'm shielding I was happier because I know where my dad has been (if that makes sense!)
He fixed it, I kept the windows open, he left. That's it

Ugzbugz · 11/03/2021 00:00

I've had tonrwly on various people for childcare, I do I quit and both end up homeless and dead anyway?

BackforGood · 11/03/2021 00:00

Thank you @AlexaShutUp

@XenoBitch - you know very well that overwhelmingly people on this thread are having family and in some cases friends round because they want to, not because they are "having suicidal thoughts" or "are alone with their torment" - which, I'm sure you know, is a perfectly legal and valid reason to be able to support someone.
However, that is not what people are posting about at all.

I 100% agree with this :
even amongst those citing mental health reasons, I suspect a lot of them will be bogus - mental health has become a bit of a "get out of jail free" card for lots of people who just use it as an excuse to do whatever they like. There is a huge difference between people who are just fed up and frustrated with lockdown and those who have acute mental health needs which mean they have to get support.

.....and no, we're not talking about having to reach a crisis, but we are talking a long way beyond 'being fed up' / 'feeling a bit down' / 'really missing people' / etc which is the position most people are in..

AlexaShutUp · 11/03/2021 00:03

Why should anyone have to get to the point of crisis to be allowed support from a friend?

Because we are in the middle of a pandemic. Friends can still support each other remotely in challenging times, but most people are capable of sucking things up for a while - they just don't want to.

I am all in favour of people getting support when they are truly vulnerable, but I'm fed up of mental health being trotted out as Adam excuse for people who are actually just being selfish. It belittles the very real struggles that some people are actually having to live with.

sunflowertulip · 11/03/2021 00:04

@XenoBitch I said earlier I have followed all the rules, and I have, but I have been to a friend's house who is at literal breaking point - that is allowed and of course it should be.

JustAddCoffee91 · 11/03/2021 00:08

@sunflowertulip I agree totally, as somebody that has suffered losses due to suicide because of mental health issues in my family and friends circle I wasn't willing to take that risk of losing another, I was in my eyes protecting my very vulnerable friend at the time she needed me the most, who wouldn't do the same?

XenoBitch · 11/03/2021 00:09

@AlexaShutUp

Why should anyone have to get to the point of crisis to be allowed support from a friend?

Because we are in the middle of a pandemic. Friends can still support each other remotely in challenging times, but most people are capable of sucking things up for a while - they just don't want to.

I am all in favour of people getting support when they are truly vulnerable, but I'm fed up of mental health being trotted out as Adam excuse for people who are actually just being selfish. It belittles the very real struggles that some people are actually having to live with.

Not everyone can do 'remote' friendships. Do you assume everyone can Zoom, or even has broadband to enable them to do so?

Yes, we are in the middle of a pandemic... that is Covid, and the next one will be mental health. If you haven't been affected to the extent you want to take your life, good for you. I am glad you could "suck it up".. any tips for the rest of us?

If anyone I know says they are struggling with their mental health, I believe them. I will never ever assume they are playing some "card" or making excuses. If you were making the same comments here on your own personal FB, the friends you have that have struggled will be taking note.

ilovesooty · 11/03/2021 00:13

I live alone, work from home and the only household I visit is that of my support bubble friends who are both retired. It would be an abuse of their hospitality to see anyone else indoors.

AlexaShutUp · 11/03/2021 00:25

If you haven't been affected to the extent you want to take your life, good for you.

I haven't been affected to that extent, no, but you're missing my point completely tbh. I made it very clear in my earlier post that I wasn't talking about people with acute mental health needs, and it's pretty obvious that feeling suicidal would be included in that.

As for not having zoom etc...most people have a phone these days. And we have been allowed to meet one person outside for a walk all through this most recent lockdown, so it isn't as if people have been denied all social contact. Those who live alone are entitled to support bubbles too.

Silverthorny · 11/03/2021 01:27

Yes, I’m absolutely sticking with it. I had three awful situations where friends/family needed NHS during lockdown. So I want to preserve our NHS - they are heroes.
Although we have the vaccine, and case rates are dropping - my concern is that the virus will mutate to evade the vaccine. This is just what viruses do, and now we have an effective vaccine - it could come back bigger and stronger than ever. It worries me that it gradually learnt to infect younger and younger people with more potency. Socialising is exactly what it wants us to do, and I think it’s worn us down so much, that more and more of us are ignoring guidelines. So we just end up playing into the hands of the virus again - I just hope it doesn’t learn to hurt our children.

Silverthorny · 11/03/2021 01:44

And TBH I’m slightly in awe of the virus, because it’s fully exploiting our greed/reluctance to listen. Human overconsumption and our convenience culture has caused this virus. And if it puts a halt on our wanton destruction of nature, maybe it’s a good thing.

Frownette · 11/03/2021 01:48

I'm sticking to it but want to pick up friend from a medical appointment and take him home and stay for a few days, police said that was fine as I checked quickly.

dripfeeder · 11/03/2021 01:57

I haven't stuck to it since the first lockdown. I don't mix with friends or do something that I would normally do but I've seen parents, brother and sister throughout where we space our sitting arrangements and my mother basically sprays us with anti bac. They have also been very sensible and none of us had covid and before we see each other, we make sure we don't do supermarket trips or any unnecessary shopping a week before to bring the virus with us. Both parents are vaccinated now.

ChameleonClara · 11/03/2021 02:08

Yes, still plodding on. Looking forward to my reward Grin

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