Household gatherings

[daffodil10]

As we trail towards the next deadline, truthfully are people sticking absolutely to the no household mixing etc? Or are people sneaking round to each other's for meals etc

I am sticking to it but only because my husband keeps me on the straight and narrow which is obviously the right thing to do. Just wondered?

Another thing that is very frustrating is people saying mental health like it gives them a free pass for anything.

Do children who haven’t been at school for ages not have mental health issues? or owners of pubs and restaurants who’ve had to remain closed because the numbers were too high?

I don't know a single person IRL who hasn't been having visitors to their house regularly throughout the entire thing

@toocold54

Another thing that is very frustrating is people saying mental health like it gives them a free pass for anything.

Do children who haven’t been at school for ages not have mental health issues? or owners of pubs and restaurants who’ve had to remain closed because the numbers were too high?

Maybe they do. So it would be fine for them to go and see people for support then, no?

Or are you one of those people who believe COVID is all that matters, so those suffering should stay the fuck at home.

Sticking to the rules and as far as I can tell, so are most of our neighbours.

ICU nurse. I wouldn't even feel comfortable to go inside anywhere without a mask, now. The risks are too high (thinking of the couple I nursed who had their daughter over for Christmas, they died).

@toocold54

Another thing that is very frustrating is people saying mental health like it gives them a free pass for anything.

Do children who haven’t been at school for ages not have mental health issues? or owners of pubs and restaurants who’ve had to remain closed because the numbers were too high?

Yes my DD was starting to get very down so I let her play in the park with her friends and took her to her cousins house to spend time with them.

And it was the government that deemed the numbers too high. Too high because the NHS, that they've underfunded for years, couldn't cope. I am absolutely not taking any responsibility for this government's shitty leadership. I for one didn't vote them in.

Do you seriously think that the cases got to high because of people going over to their parents house for Sunday lunch? At this stage in the pandemic are there really still people that think like this?

The trouble is people claiming it’s for their mental health when they don’t actually have mental health issues, they’re just naturally a bit sick of lockdown, make it harder for the R rate to absorb people who genuinely need mental health support. That means it could drag on longer. You’re making it harder for those genuinely in need.

Not seeing anyone indoors, because my DC is at nursery and 1) I don’t want to risk us being responsible for bringing covid into the nursery where staff members could end up sick etc 2) DC could pick up covid at nursery and I wouldn’t want to inadvertently pass it on to anyway else.

@CavernousScream

Often prevention is better than cure. Much easier to act quickly before mental health issues get out of control.

But I do very much judge, and laugh, at those who call others names for seeing family and friends. Those people are the lowest of the low as far as I'm concerned.
Can we agree then that people who call others mugs and stupid for following the rules are also the lowest of the low? I'm so fed up of all the name calling on both sides, I wish people would just get on with whatever they feel is right for them, and as you say, do their own thing, and let others get on with what they are doing.

@CavernousScream

The trouble is people claiming it’s for their mental health when they don’t actually have mental health issues, they’re just naturally a bit sick of lockdown, make it harder for the R rate to absorb people who genuinely need mental health support. That means it could drag on longer. You’re making it harder for those genuinely in need.

And how do you know? If I had a friend that came out with that, there is no way on earth I would be disclosing anything about my own MH struggles to them.

I have dinner with my husband, kids, parents, brother and sister in law every Saturday. Have done since April 2020. We all WFH and kids are at a small school that hasn't had a single covid case.

I recently went in for a glass of wine with my friend at her house.

I will continue to take calculated risk. I still cannot believe that it's illegal to have people in our own homes. It is something I genuinely struggle with.

[quote OverTheRainbow88]@CavernousScream

Often prevention is better than cure. Much easier to act quickly before mental health issues get out of control.[/quote]
This. Why does a person have to reach crisis point to allow a friend to visit? Why let it escalate to that point?

I met up with a friend last weekend.... waited outside our local train station. Whilst I was there, someone on the platform took there own life. Was utter chaos. Maybe they had been struggling for ages and had no one take the pressure off up until that point. I don't know. It was incredibly sad... and to see people dismiss others for trying to protect there own MH so things don't get so bad really fucking pisses me off.

@RichardMarxisinnocent

But I do very much judge, and laugh, at those who call others names for seeing family and friends. Those people are the lowest of the low as far as I'm concerned. Can we agree then that people who call others mugs and stupid for following the rules are also the lowest of the low? I'm so fed up of all the name calling on both sides, I wish people would just get on with whatever they feel is right for them, and as you say, do their own thing, and let others get on with what they are doing.

Do you know what, I've been pretty sneery towards people following the rules on this thread, and I shouldn't have done that. I'll hold my hands up, it's hypocritical of me.

I genuinely have no problem with people who just get on with it and do their own thing without judging others. We are all different, with different circumstances and we should respect others choices. I am just so completely at the end of my tether with all the "selfish" and "covidiots" and "people who think they are above the rules". I see it constantly on here plus its all over social media. I don't actually know anyone in real life who talks like this and I think I would have to really distance myself from them if I did. Why can't we all just mind our own business? Because no one really knows what is going on in somebody else's life.

One phrase that I have heard a lot throughout this that has really stuck with me is "we are all in the same storm but on very different boats" . I think this is so true and we all (myself included) need to remember this.

And I do find it very hard to understand how people still think that the high levels of cases and deaths that we have had in this country are down to people seeing close family or friends. After the care homes fiasco early in the pandemic. And after the stats came out about transmission in hospitals (not the hard working staff's fault, maybe if they had more money to spend and more staff then they would be able to manage infection control a lot better). And all the large outbreaks in factories. And the fact that so many people in this country cannot afford to self isolate, they can't risk taking a test in case its positive because they can't afford to be on SSP for 2 weeks. After all this people are still blaming each other? I can't understand it.

But why are people seeing friends/family indoors? We all know that’s where the risk is.

I have been able to keep my mental health ticking along by seeing a friend for exercise outdoors for instance. DS saw his grandparents on his birthday by us all going to the park for an hour.

I’m not just blindly following rules when I can make reasonable risk assessments, but neither am I just deciding they don’t apply to me!

I haven’t been in someone else’s house for over a year now
Have had The in-laws in the conservatory twice while we were in the main part of the house

Haven’t seen my family or closest friends for over a year as they are on the other side of the country
Couldn’t celebrate my 40th other than with dh and the kids
All our friends and local family seem to be on the same page

@ThursdayLastWeek

But why are people seeing friends/family indoors? We all know that’s where the risk is.

I have been able to keep my mental health ticking along by seeing a friend for exercise outdoors for instance. DS saw his grandparents on his birthday by us all going to the park for an hour.

I’m not just blindly following rules when I can make reasonable risk assessments, but neither am I just deciding they don’t apply to me!

I’m glad that that is sufficient for your MH needs

The nightmare we are in is 100% the fault of those in charge. Underfunding the NHS for the past 10+ years, abolishing testing early on in the first wave so we had no idea where and how this disease was spreading, total failure of test and trace, locking down too late repeatedly because they wanted to save the economy, underfunding schools so there is not adequate space or ventilation, the list goes on and on...
They couldn't have made a bigger mess if they had tried. And the mental health fallout that is coming over the next 10 years is going to pale the past 12 months into insignificance.

It makes total sense to have banned mass gatherings, nightclubs, big weddings etc but one friend meeting another is NOT the reason are are in this mess. They have discovered how the majority of the cases were contracted and spread in hospitals in the first wave - this is because our big multi-bed wards are not designed to contain infection, particularly when they've stopped the testing so we don't even know who has it!

Everyone attacking each other for minor breaches is achieving nothing. We all have an different view, different tolerance and different assessment of risk. We should be questioning why we as a country are in such an awful position after one of the toughest lockdowns

I'm sticking to it, although I'm teaching in a primary school all week I haven't seen anyone at the weekends apart from one friend for a walk outside, once.

DH wants to meet up with his parents on Sunday for a walk in the park with the kids. I can't really see the risk to anyone as all the parks are so rammed with everyone doing exactly that.

@ThursdayLastWeek

But why are people seeing friends/family indoors? We all know that’s where the risk is.

I have been able to keep my mental health ticking along by seeing a friend for exercise outdoors for instance. DS saw his grandparents on his birthday by us all going to the park for an hour.

I’m not just blindly following rules when I can make reasonable risk assessments, but neither am I just deciding they don’t apply to me!

Tbh my rule breaking has been pretty low level. Letting my kids play with others at the park, going out for non essential purposes, practically bubbling up with my dsis even though we are technically not entitled to bubble up (neither household has seen anyone else indoors so far this lockdown), going to a friends house for wine and a catch up during the November lockdown and planning to do so again in the near future. No parties or seeing multiple households indoors regularly.

But I don't want to say "I've been following the rules except......". No, I haven't been following the rules, I'd rather own it. And I don't want anyone who has been seeing other households indoors to feel judged by me or feel like I think I'm better than them.

The weather has been shit during this lockdown, and lots of people aren't allowed to have a bubble. Its not hard to see why people are seeing others indoors.

Still sticking to it. It's only a few more weeks (hopefully) and to be honest I'm not struggling without seeing people. I struggled with the kids being out of school and now they are back.

Well, I’m not sure it has been sufficient HereComesATractor.

I guess I just find this thread full of people carrying on totally as normal disheartening in the face of what I consider a sacrifice, especially that of my children’s education.

I can only conclude that I found comfort in the idea of us 'all pulling together' to be so disappointed to find that that’s not really the case.

The weather has been shit, you’re right. I’ve been wearing waterproofs!

But why are people seeing friends/family indoors? We all know that’s where the risk is.

Because they feel comfortable taking that risk. The risk will still be there in April, May, June, and next Christmas. Legal doesn’t mean risk-free. The risk is always going to be there, because Covid is here to stay.

I’ve been having people over (legal in the country I live in) and honestly, none of us care that much about Covid on a personal level. We all have a 99% chance of only developing mild symptoms, should we catch this illness. I’m taking that. I’m complying with every single rule and haven’t actually broken any this past year. I’m doing it for those around me who are vulnerable. Personally, I couldn’t care less if I caught Covid tomorrow.

@riddles26 has put it brilliantly.