Household gatherings

[daffodil10]

As we trail towards the next deadline, truthfully are people sticking absolutely to the no household mixing etc? Or are people sneaking round to each other's for meals etc

I am sticking to it but only because my husband keeps me on the straight and narrow which is obviously the right thing to do. Just wondered?

We stick to the rules mostly. Except we do have DPs mate round quite a lot. But that's mostly because during the first lockdown his wife left him for one of his best mates. And personally, I feel that it's more important to look after our friends during an absolutely shit time.

99% of the time, yes. I allowed my daughter to have a sleepover with her best friend for her best friend's birthday at the friend's house. It was just the two of them, plus her mum who was more than 3 weeks post first vaccination.

Other than that, we've followed the rules about household mixing but not fully kept to the stay at home order, e.g. we have gone out to get a takeaway hot drink, been to the supermarket for non-essentials.

Yet somehow you living with your family who you presumably like qualified for a support bubble within the rules and I don't.

So yes I'm breaking the rules and seeing my best friend (who lives with her boyfriend) and my boyfriend (who lives in another 4 bed house share but he's known these people for years).

@boredbuttercup

I am a single parent working full time. If you cannot understand why I as a single parent am allowed a support bubble but you as not a single parent aren’t then there is no hope trying to explain how selfish it is of you to mix with two different households like you are somehow more important than anyone else - get a grip!

There's a lot of "we mainly stick to the rules apart from when....."

@toocold54

Yet somehow you living with your family who you presumably like qualified for a support bubble within the rules and I don't.

So yes I'm breaking the rules and seeing my best friend (who lives with her boyfriend) and my boyfriend (who lives in another 4 bed house share but he's known these people for years).

@boredbuttercup

I am a single parent working full time. If you cannot understand why I as a single parent am allowed a support bubble but you as not a single parent aren’t then there is no hope trying to explain how selfish it is of you to mix with two different households like you are somehow more important than anyone else - get a grip!

How convenient that you pasted in the parts of my post that suit your 'selfish' narrative but didn't include any of the parts which explain my situation of living in a house share with practical strangers  way to twist the situation

You as a single parent working full time still get interaction with your child who you love, and you're lucky enough that you also get to have a recognised bubble with your parents. If I hadn't broken the rules to see my boyfriend I, as a single adult working full time, would not have been touched by another person since before the tier system came in. How can you justify that you get the support of another adult you know and love whilst I'm meant to be criminalised if I don't live in total isolation? I'm not trying to take your bubble away but how can you justify being more worthy of human support than people in my situation? Like you said, you're lucky that the bubble system takes into account your situation, but people like me have been looked over and shafted by the government repeatedly. Why don't I deserve the support of Atleast one person who cares about me? Because my housemates are perfectly fine people, but in truth if one of them moved out tomorrow it would make no difference to my life, in terms of all social and emotional purposes I do live alone.

As @Lockheart put it

The current bubble rules make no provision for the millions of people in this country who live in shared accommodation with people they aren't related to or involved with. I am lucky in that I get on reasonably well with my housemates. Many others are in even worse situations trapped with people they don't like!

No, I've seen family at their houses and ours.
Only ocassionally, not regularly. Most of the time it was when it was allowed, but a few times we've broken the rules.
They are coming Sunday but will be in the garden and conservatory weather permitting, for outside.
Nobody seems to be bothering near us anyway, the parks have been heaving.

Oh and I've never once said I'm more important than anyone else, just that I feel completely forgotten about and have been left to the wolves. I merely want access to the same support others have. You're the one who has the support, which no one is trying to take away, yet you seem to want to stop others in hard situations gaining the support you have.

You're the one who has implied you're more important than other and more deserving of support simply by virtue of having had a kid being a parent doesn't make you more special. Not having a kid doesn't mean I don't need some kind of social/emotional support. I've never said you don't deserve a bubble, yet you can't seem to comprehend why other people who have been forgotten by the gov and current bubble system might need some support, even if we're not special enough to have managed to pop out a kid yet.

@boredbuttercup

It’s very hard; and I don’t understand why lots of others don’t see why others need a support network.

IMO all households should have been able to have one exclusive support bubble.

We’ve not had a bubble, even though we have 2 young pre school kids because we don’t need childcare as they go to nursery, so physically haven’t needed one but emotionally and mentally I have.

@Howtomakeevery1

Wow - I’m amazed how selfish so many of you are. Yes I’m sure meeting friends and family is lovely but if we were all doing the the r rate would still be high.

STFU with this "selfish" bullshit.

You have NO idea what we have sacrificed (our mental health, our financial security, our relationships), all to make YOU feel "safe", and then you throw it back in our faces with "you're selfish"?!

How selfish are you to expect the entire population to take personal responsibility for your health? I'm so done with people like you. This is on you now. You take responsibility for YOUR bloody health. I need to take responsibility for mine.

@boredbuttercup my selfish narrative 😂😂

Do you not think I would love to be able to have a partner or be a two parent family or have no children and no responsibilities and not try to juggle working full time and home schooling full time?

Do I think I am more important than anyone else so I break the rules? No because I know how lucky I am to not be in a situation where there is violence in the home like so many others.

You seeing your boyfriend is one thing but why do you need to see your friend too?
Like everyone else I’ve not seen any of my friends or sister etc for ages because they are too far away to meet up for a walk. You’re in a house with 3 other adults with no responsibility and think that your situation is worse.

I can stand this ‘poor me’ mentality that some people have but don’t care that those that are struggling most don’t want another lockdown.

even if we're not special enough to have managed to pop out a kid yet.

Lol if you can’t understand how working full time and having children may mean you need a bit of extra help with going into work then God help you.

You also don’t need to ‘pop out a kid’ as any single adult household can form a bubble 🙄

How selfish are you to expect the entire population to take personal responsibility for your health? I'm so done with people like you. This is on you now. You take responsibility for YOUR bloody health. I need to take responsibility for mine.

Spot on!

We're sticking to the rules at least until my parents have had their second jab. Have done throughout except spending two nights at my mums when we had all completely isolated for three weeks beforehand. And I hugged my friend outside when her toddler was taken into hospital.
I do take the point about elderly relatives, that you don't know how much time you have left with them. But people having friends round is just selfish and careless.

I said your 'selfish' narrative - the narrative that anyone who doesn't do exactly what you deem ok is selfish.

I never said my situation is worse than yours, other than by virtue of your bubbling being legal and mine not. I said why does my equally hard situation criminalise me looking for social and emotional support and yours doesn't. Why have the millions of people who live like me been overlooked time and time again in their need for support? I may 'live' with 3 other adults but as I've explained to you over and over again we are strangers who share a kitchen, they provide no support to me, I live like a single adult, and yet the 'rules' overlook this.

It's not a 'poor me' mentality. It's an anger at the government for their shit show of this and anger at people who can't possibly understand why other people are breaking rules because the niche rules fails to include millions who are having a hard time, when the rules fit their own privileged situation so well. And where on earth did you get that I want another lockdown?

And once again, I never said that you don't need the extra help/support, I'm not trying to take that away from you. I'm saying others need extra help and support too, other who the current support system misses out.

But people having friends round is just selfish and careless.

Isn't breaking any of the rules selfish and careless?

We've stuck to the rules throughout but to be honest were going to have my mum and dad round for a mothers day meal on Sunday. However DH workmate tested positive for Covid on Monday and when DH was tested he was positive too. His workmate only tested because his brother got it, he had no symptoms. My DH has no symptoms. If his workmate hadnt bothered to get a test we would have had no clue DH was infected and we would likely have infected my parents. I doubt they would have fared so well.

@bonbonours

We're sticking to the rules at least until my parents have had their second jab. Have done throughout except spending two nights at my mums when we had all completely isolated for three weeks beforehand. And I hugged my friend outside when her toddler was taken into hospital. I do take the point about elderly relatives, that you don't know how much time you have left with them. But people having friends round is just selfish and careless.

You don't know how long you have left with anyone. Tomorrow is never promised.

How selfish are you to expect the entire population to take personal responsibility for your health? I'm so done with people like you. This is on you now. You take responsibility for YOUR bloody health. I need to take responsibility for mine

Absolutely this.

How selfish are you to expect the entire population to take personal responsibility for your health? I'm so done with people like you. This is on you now. You take responsibility for YOUR bloody health. I need to take responsibility for mine

Surely, most health conditions can’t be helped? So no responsibility can be taken?

Sticking to the rules. I don't know anyone in my circle of friends/family who are not sticking to the rules either, everyone seems to be complying.

Sticking to the rules. I don't know anyone in my circle of friends/family who are not sticking to the rules either, everyone seems to be complying.

Everyone in my family has stuck to the rules too. I haven't seen any of my family since a family funeral last September. I haven't been able to see the widow of the person who died. Or grieve properly with my family. Which is why I get heart sore and angry when people say "we've stuck to the rules apart from when...."

We've stuck to the rules throughout but to be honest were going to have my mum and dad round for a mothers day meal on Sunday. However DH workmate tested positive for Covid on Monday and when DH was tested he was positive too. His workmate only tested because his brother got it, he had no symptoms. My DH has no symptoms. If his workmate hadnt bothered to get a test we would have had no clue DH was infected and we would likely have infected my parents. I doubt they would have fared so well.

And there we have it. The reason for sticking to the rules in a nutshell.

Yes Bluesheep8 it was a sobering thought. We're lucky we have access to LFTs in this area and were able to isolate quickly.

And once again, I never said that you don't need the extra help/support, I'm not trying to take that away from you. I'm saying others need extra help and support too, other who the current support system misses out.

I completely agree and think everyone should be able to bubble up with someone else.
But you are not just bubbling up with one household you are bubbling up with two and think that it’s ok.

In general the people that are breaking the rules can either afford the fine or don’t mind another lockdown as they are enjoying it whilst those who are sticking to it are doing so because they aren’t enjoying it and want it to be over soon.
Which is what I find so frustrating because some people breaking the rules are acting like they hate lockdown which is why they NEED to break the rules but the reality is they are enjoying it so why are they not just honest.

@XiCi it's a sobering thought for everyone. I wish everyone thinking "Oh it'll be ok I'll just do x because I've mostly stuck to the rules" would read your honest and powerful post.