Household gatherings

[daffodil10]

As we trail towards the next deadline, truthfully are people sticking absolutely to the no household mixing etc? Or are people sneaking round to each other's for meals etc

I am sticking to it but only because my husband keeps me on the straight and narrow which is obviously the right thing to do. Just wondered?

You also don’t need to ‘pop out a kid’ as any single adult household can form a bubble

Why are people still not getting that you can be a single adult AND not allowed to form a bubble?

House shares exist. Not everyone can afford a beautiful 4 bedroom detached Victorian house with fields for their horses, next to lovely empty country roads where you can walk your dog for hours each day. 90% of Mumsnet seems to live in such a location.

People live in house shares with strangers (see PP description), with partners in other house shares with another set of strangers. You have 8 people here who don’t know each other, and are prohibited by law to have some real life support from their partner, families or friends. Don’t tell me it’s their fault for not making friends with their housemates, it’s not that easy. When I lived in a house share I didn’t want a hug from my housemate. I wanted a hug from my mum or my best friend.

This, from Xeno above, is the essence of how everyone who is breaking the rules feels now:

You don't know how long you have left with anyone. Tomorrow is never promised.

I genuinely think that people still following all the rules haven't grasped this point - not really, not in their hearts. A year is a very very big proportion of the time elderly people have left. A lot of people feeling now feeling smug about how 'unselfish' they are will feel very differently if they lose a parent before mid-May.

@Bluesheep8
Yes I guess you can say all breaking rules are selfish. However, spending time with elderly parents when you have all been extremely careful otherwise is a bit different from having a load of different mates round. And yes anyone could die at any time but elderly parents are much more likely to become ill and die, aside from Covid, so I understand people prioritising spending time with them, especially once they have been vaccinated so you are much less likely to be putting them at Covid risk.

I’m seeing my parents indoors on the 29th. As my baby is due a few days later when they’ll be in a child support bubble, a few days earlier will make no difference.

We haven’t but most of our relatives are overseas and MIL lives 250 miles away. I can live without seeing friends for a while, we have stayed in touch in on quite a regular basis.

I think there will always be people who think the rules cannot possibly mean them (insert personal reason in their view why the lockdown doesnt apply to them).

They use the term Mental Health all the time to justify what they are doing.

What if all of us used the MH reason? There would be no lockdown, everyone is fed up of this, just everyone! Why do some people honestly think they are special??

Completely agree about spending time with elderly parents, especially once vaccinated. Life is very short. This is why I think the government have got this part of the restrictions very wrong.
A few months was fine. Even 6 maximum. But a year to not see parents is too long.

If they live far away or in an areas that went back in to a high tier quickly that’s the reality for some.

Can you imagine if someone had said a year ago, it will be illegal for you to spend time indoors with your parents for the most part of a year. But it’s fine for your cleaner/workmen etc to come round. Madness.

Sticking to everything absolutely till Easter. Then I am seeing whoever wherever whenever.
It's been the line in the sand for me for a while now. I've needed it to get through. And I will stick to it

@Delatron, the reason why cleaners and workmen are fine in your home is because people tend not hug their cleaners or sit close to them having a conversation, like you would do with your parents or other relatives.

It ain't madness, service providers still need to work.

@Delatron

Completely agree about spending time with elderly parents, especially once vaccinated. Life is very short. This is why I think the government have got this part of the restrictions very wrong. A few months was fine. Even 6 maximum. But a year to not see parents is too long.

If they live far away or in an areas that went back in to a high tier quickly that’s the reality for some.

Can you imagine if someone had said a year ago, it will be illegal for you to spend time indoors with your parents for the most part of a year. But it’s fine for your cleaner/workmen etc to come round. Madness.

With you on this. Am happy to avoid “big gatherings” etc indefinitely if needed but being basically banned from seeing your parents, and more to the point banning kids from seeing their grandparents, is just wrong- whichever way you look at it.

You have NO idea what we have sacrificed (our mental health, our financial security, our relationships), all to make YOU feel "safe", and then you throw it back in our faces with "you're selfish"?!

How selfish are you to expect the entire population to take personal responsibility for your health? I'm so done with people like you. This is on you now. You take responsibility for YOUR bloody health. I need to take responsibility for mine.

Absolutely this! I've had enough with the covid nazis bleating "selfish" at anyone who doesn't follow the roolz. For me it is incredibly selfish to expect others to sacrifice so much for your benefit. Whether that benefit is not catching covid or being thick enough to believe that this will all be over sooner if everyone follows the roolz. I've seen people on here complain that their family lives too far to be able to see them and laying the blame on others for seeing their own families they actually expect people to not see their own families so that they can see theirs 😂 the irony is completely lost on them

Ultimately I think that a lot of people are very resentful and jealous of those that choose not to blindly follow ridiculous and illogical rules. Maybe its because they are scared of catching covid, maybe its because they have been very vocal about following the roolz so know they would look like hypocritical idiots to break them now, maybe it's because they think there will be medals handed out at the end for "unselfishness" and (like a 6 year old school child) want to make sure they get one. Who knows? I honestly could not give a fuck about these people and being called selfish makes no difference to how I will behave. Maybe I'm selfish, but my mental health is good, my family are happy and I'm not wasting my life sitting at home feeling spiteful and jealous. So yeah, I'm 100% fine with being "selfish" 🤷‍♀️

I've been going to my mum's. She lives alone and has a support bubble with another single friend so strictly speaking I shouldn't. I go to drop shopping off and have a cup of tea with her once a week, and only after I've done my LFT.
No one else though. I'm a teacher with two teenagers at secondary school so that's risk enough for me. If I WFH and had no other contact then it might be a different story.

Yes so many grandparents will have missed out on crucial time with grandkids .
They change so much in the first few years. Funny how hardly any other countries have imposed such rules on family meeting. It is inhumane.

I saw one friend, one time. I had coronavirus in January and she's vaccinated. We were both very lonely and it really picked up my spirits. Other than that I've stuck to the rules.

@joanneg36

This, from Xeno above, is the essence of how everyone who is breaking the rules feels now:

You don't know how long you have left with anyone. Tomorrow is never promised.

I genuinely think that people still following all the rules haven't grasped this point - not really, not in their hearts. A year is a very very big proportion of the time elderly people have left. A lot of people feeling now feeling smug about how 'unselfish' they are will feel very differently if they lose a parent before mid-May.

I am still following the rules and I have very much grasped this point thank you very much, really and in my heart. My dad died suddenly and unexpectedly last November. I hadn't seen him since Christmas 2019.

I have never felt smug or 'unselfish' about following the rules, I'm following them partly because I am a natural rule follower, partly out of a sense of collective responsibility. None of my family and friends who are following the rules feel smug either, just because you think some people appear smug doesn't mean we all are. I feel very sad, fed up, tired, lonely, angry and a million other things, but not smug.

I am following the rules.

Feel a bit of a mug after reading this thread though - I thought we were all in it together 😞

I thought we were all in it together 😞

That's never been the case, regardless of what anyone says.

Ultimately I think that a lot of people are very resentful and jealous of those that choose not to blindly follow ridiculous and illogical rules.

@Shelovesamystery
what a ridiculous thing to say! Of course people are going to feel resentful!

There are rules that everyone must follow but a few have decided they are above everyone else and enjoy the restrictions so are purposely not following them knowing that they’ll be fine if there was another lockdown but most of us are actually struggling with so much isolation and want it to be over.

Feel a bit of a mug after reading this thread though - I thought we were all in it together

We are!
There are just a few who think they’re above the rest and don’t follow the rules but they’re the type to think they’re better than others even pre-covid.
You would think the pandemic would have humbled them a bit but it seems they enjoying laughing at the little people following the rules but luckily for them we are as if everyone decided to act like them we would have much tougher rules.

@RichardMarxisinnocent Fair enough - I understand how you feel and that you as an individual are not smug or judgemental.

But read the messages that come after and before you. ‘These people think they are above the law, they’re so selfish etc. You’d think the pandemic would have humbled them’ and so on, again and again, across hundreds of threads.

It’s incredibly blinkered to not even be able to understand why people might want to have their mum or dad in their house and think that’s worth breaking a rule for.

@toocold54 I am certainly not laughing at anyone for following the rules, I just think they’ve made a different judgement about what matters most to the one that I’ve made. And I think it’s one a lot of them will regret. I am fully in favour of all the other lockdown rules but banning people from seeing their families when a third of the population is vaccinated is not a rule that belongs in a democracy.

@toocold54

Feel a bit of a mug after reading this thread though - I thought we were all in it together

We are!
There are just a few who think they’re above the rest and don’t follow the rules but they’re the type to think they’re better than others even pre-covid.
You would think the pandemic would have humbled them a bit but it seems they enjoying laughing at the little people following the rules but luckily for them we are as if everyone decided to act like them we would have much tougher rules.

The cost to my mental health was too great, hence why I have a friend here once a fortnight. I do not in any way, shape or form, think I am "above the rest".... totally opposite infact.

We are!
There are just a few who think they’re above the rest and don’t follow the rules but they’re the type to think they’re better than others even pre-covid.
You would think the pandemic would have humbled them a bit but it seems they enjoying laughing at the little people following the rules but luckily for them we are as if everyone decided to act like them we would have much tougher rules.

🙄 I don't think I'm above the rules, or better than anyone else, or special, or any of the other trope that people come out with on here. I just think that the rule against seeing other people (family and friends) is crossing a line so I don't follow it. I don't have any judgement or bad feelings towards people who do follow that rule and just get on with it without judging others. Just keeping their heads down, doing their own thing and accepting that others will do theirs. But I do very much judge, and laugh, at those who call others names for seeing family and friends. Those people are the lowest of the low as far as I'm concerned.

I keep seeing "just a few who don't follow the rules" on here. Are you people living in a parallel universe? Plenty on MN don't stick to the rules for a start. And the vast majority of people that I know aren't sticking to them. But then they tell me rather than pretend that they are because they know I won't judge them 🤔

Have had in laws round for dinner a couple of weeks ago. Arranging a date for an overnight at a friend's in next few weeks. So not frequent but not rigidly sticking to it now. Going to in laws on Easter Sunday.

@Tootsey11

To those who have/are mixing. How many of you has been affected by covid directly or had someone die in their family? Im guessing not many.

Most of my close family are already dead. So there you go.