You're only being asked to stay home and watch Netflix

[boredbutterfly]

I'm so sick and tired of hearing this from naturally more introverted people. As if it's the easiest thing in the world to do this day in day out on end.

Some of us are extroverts. We need social interaction. It's what makes us happy and energises us. On the flip side introverts tend to need alone time to 'recharge' and that absolutely fine to.

But I'm so sick of hearing from introverts that staying home alone all day is so easy. Yes it may be easy for you but we're not all the same.

Imagine if that was some pandemic, or even just a sociological phenomenon, which meant that it was never safe to be alone. Some form of the 'buddy system' had to be introduced. Or some kind of sociological shift where we all had to go out and partake in an activity, even a basic social one like interacting with a cashier or meeting someone for a coffee, every day for days on end for a year. How long do you think it would be before the introverts were breaking and talking about how they 'just need one day for themselves' and they were willing to take the small risk just to get some time alone to recharge because they were going crazy.

I'm just so sick of all the sanctimonious introverts acting like because this is their preferred way of living the rest of us should find it easy to adapt to. And that it's not just asking us to stay home and watch Netflix, but to give up everything that for some is us have life meaning, was our way of recharging or unwinding or energising ourselves.

I probably haven't articulated myself very well. I just need a vent after hearing yet again some variation of 'it's just staying in and watching tv, the rest of us are getting on with it fine, why can't you' and I want to scream 'BECAUSE THAT'S ALL YOU BLOODY DID BEFORE LOCKDOWN TOO, NOTHING HAS CHANGED FOR YOU!'

Im in the middle but both ends of the scale are finding my house unbearably small

Blimey, could this pandemic create any MORE divisions?! Young/old, furlough/working, vulnerable/ non-vulnerable blah blah. Do we really need to create yet another pointless one?
OP, I don’t think you fully understand introversion/extraversion. I’m an introvert and have loathed lockdown.

@LemonSwan

These people are not introverts. They are living in mansions with an acreage, gym, sewing room and swimming pool.

Swimming pool oh yes please

we have different needs and they don't seem to get that!

Well I’m an introvert and prefer being based home most of the time. But I totally get that you as an extrovert derive most of your energy from others and need to be amongst people more to be happy.

Pathological introvert here, and still not massively enjoying it. Yeah it's bearable, but we're both shielding and homeschooling, and permanently used to being home.
I still miss a night at the pub to binge on social contact before cutting myself off again, and I still miss five minutes alone for a fucking wank.

@OhYouBadBadKitten

Us introverts do need interaction with people too - introvert does not equal hermit. The problem with being an introvert is that we may not have a bank of people to call on for a laugh over zoom or whatever. Also, I now never ever get the house to myself. And I need that total alone space sometimes.

This really - I like quiet space and I don’t have a shed load of friends but I still have friends and my own hobbies outside of the home OP. I hate lockdown and the restrictions against seeing family. I hate seeing peoples businesses , jobs, education and MH go down the pan.

When you compare it to other hardships that people have to endure (here, other countries, historically) it’s nowhere near as hard.

I’m not minimising it. It’s absolutely not good for mental health and god knows I’d like to see people. Haven’t seen family for over a year because the rules here haven’t allowed it. It’s shit. But...

It’s also not fearing for your life, starving, torture, grieving, traumatic, etc.

If we didn’t have technology to keep in touch it would be a hell of a lot harder. Without the numerous forms of entertainment it would be a hell of a lot harder.

You are absolutely right that it’s tough and it’s understandable you are fed up with it though. Better times are ahead. Hang in there!

Bit of a shame that this thread has gone the way sooo many do. Rather than actually discuss the valid points that the OP has made, people have decided to make it a boring introvert/extrovert thread and decide to be offended.

I’m probably what would be classed as an introvert, but I’m certainly not enjoying lockdown or finding it easy. I have a house full of people who wouldn’t usually be here and I’m getting no peace to work. It’s a nightmare.

At the same time, I have complete sympathy for extroverts who are finding lockdown hard. It’s very difficult to be isolated if your natural state is to be social and around others.

Nothing about this is easy for anyone.

@boredbutterfly It's people who have deemed themselves as introverts. And sadly I'm unlucky to be stuck living with them and their sanctimonious attitudes for now. I do have plenty of plans for when I get out luckily! But if I hear one more 'why do you look so miserable, stop moaning, all you have to do is sit at home and watch Netflix' I may snap'

Ok so you are fed up with your housemates as most people are regardless of their personality type! It’s a bit like if you travel with someone eventually you have enough of each other’s company. It’s rude to go badmouthing introverts though.

You didn’t answer the second part of my question which was whether you are working or not? Obviously if you aren’t then your boredom levels are going to be greater than someone who is still working. Do your housemates work/study? That maybe why you are getting the Netflix comments (not saying it’s your fault if you are furloughed / out of work or retired by the way - just making the point that there’s less to occupy your time at home unless you are working/looking after kids/ homeschooling - again extroverts and introverts will be in all these scenarios).

@PuppyMonkey

Just because you’re introverted, it doesn’t mean all you do all day is watch Netflix and refuse to talk to anyone else or go out of the house ever.

You've not met my DP.

If he makes one more squeak about quite liking this lockdown business, that he wishes his work wouldn't reopen fully in May as planned, and we really don't need to go out anywhere anymore and have proved it in the last year, I will not be held responsible for my actions.

And I'm the person who wishes he was out so I had the house to myself.

I'm an introvert but hate being stuck at home!

And I'd never say such a sweeping generalisation to others as your OP asserts!

@RichardMarxisinnocent

But imagine if you didn't get that day to recharge - for months on end. We need a day to ourselves now and then to recharge, we don't need all day every day for months alone.

I agree, plus lots of us introverts haven't had a day to recharge for months on end. I've been WFH since the beginning, my DH has been furloughed 3 times and my DC is at College but all online learning. I've had at best a couple of hours - in total - a week when there's no one else in the house.

Normally if I had a day off I'd go into town for a mosey round the shops/visit another town/drive to the beach/woods/go to a matinee on my own etc, etc or just chill at home enjoying the peace. I just had a couple of days off and I couldn't do any of it, just more bloody walks where the world and their dogs are walking too.

Introverts are as sick of this as anyone else.

I was really struggling last week, even though I’m right on the line between introverted and extroverted.

The extroverted side was really missing interacting with a wider variety of people than just DH and the cat. Being able to go out somewhere and just soak up the atmosphere or look at interesting things.

The introverted side was really struggling with having to interact with DH and the cat all the time and never getting the house to myself.

So I stayed up late at the weekend to get some alone time and flicked through NowTV to find a movie. Realised I’d never seen “Saving Private Ryan” so opted for that.

First few minutes of that gave my head a proper wobble and the rest of the film really gave me some perspective.

So maybe sit on your sofa and watch NowTV rathe than Netflix?

@Phyllis321

Blimey, could this pandemic create any MORE divisions?! Young/old, furlough/working, vulnerable/ non-vulnerable blah blah. Do we really need to create yet another pointless one? OP, I don’t think you fully understand introversion/extraversion. I’m an introvert and have loathed lockdown.

Thank you!

I find the introvert extrovert 'wars' exhausing. People don't come in little boxes labelled 'extovert' or 'introvert'. Besides, even the most extreme introverts might be worried about their jobs, might like to travel, might have hobbies which they can't do or might simply want to get their hair cut.

Besides, introverts aren't hermits. They have family and - yes - even friends that they miss. I too consider myself an introvert - although I don't go around saying 'Hi I'm Iced and I'm an introvert' - and I've hated every second of lockdown and can't wait for it to be over.

Bit of a shame that this thread has gone the way sooo many do. Rather than actually discuss the valid points that the OP has made, people have decided to make it a boring introvert/extrovert thread and decide to be offended.

Thank you.

What this thread is really about is being sick of people who are finding it easy not being able to comprehend that others aren't and that people have different needs. I went off on my extrovert/introvert ramble out of frustration because my housemates are self declared introverts but I said in my OP that I wasn't very coherent because of sheer frustration.

I am sick of all the minimising of peoples struggles as 'just' (being asked to stay at home/watch Netflix/look after your own kids - fill in the blank according to your own situation) and the pure lack of recognition from those who are finding it easy/even enjoying it that those of us that aren't just can't function in the same way they do.

I am an introvert- have been this way all my life. But lockdown has killed my mental health.

I realized that even though I was an introvert, I have always lived in vibrant capital cities - London, Singapore, and Berlin. Even as a teenager in singapore with very strict parents who massively curtailed my social life, city life still meant that I was around lots of people all the time outside of school and my parents took me to activities and classes and out for shopping. What I am experiencing now is unprecedented. No shops, no cafes, no restaurants. Someone told me that it was sad that the quality of my life was determined by such things but I really don't understand how it can be sustainable to spend almost all your time at home with no variation in routine other than walks and grocery trips and unable to see family. For me, even going to boots makes such a difference.

I’m an introvert, but I have hobbies, work and family, I don’t normally spend every day in the house. Normally I go out every day and have house to myself. I miss my parents and my friend.
I’m not a hermit.
If you are always rushing about normally and hate it, slow down. When my children were small, they had too many activities so we reduced, I didn’t need a pandemic to say enough was enough.

I swear everyone needs to get out more. MN posters have always enjoyed a bun fight but there now seems to a pathalogical need to turn every thread into one.

Look, you clearly are finding this very difficult and you are absolutely entitled to feel that way. If they are saying things like 'why do you look so miserable, stop moaning, all you have to do is sit at home and watch Netflix' then I think it’s worth reflecting on whether you are exercising your bad mood on the people you live with. It sounds like they are finding you negative and moany. You’re allowed to struggle but they are allowed to feel fed up if you’re constantly going on about how awful things are. I struggle with those sorts of people at work, the ones who want to talk about what they are missing all the time even though I understand that they probably find it cathartic. I don’t find it at all healthy to dwell too much on what I can’t do because of the pandemic so if I was shut up at home all day with someone like that I’d find that really hard. I think a bit of empathy on both sides might be useful. They probably aren’t finding this a bed of roses either, introverts or not. It sounds like what they are saying is “it could be worse and your moaning is getting me down”.

@PurpleDaisies

You’re misunderstanding introversion. I’m more introverted than extroverted and it doesn’t mean you enjoy being stuck at home.

This with bells on

Before going back to the office last year I was talking to a colleague who lives alone and she said she was looking forward to being able to see people and have company, I replied that I was looking forward to going back to get away from people.

I don't think this is an introvert / extrovert thing, more 'being a dick' thing.

@MadameMinimes

Look, you clearly are finding this very difficult and you are absolutely entitled to feel that way. If they are saying things like 'why do you look so miserable, stop moaning, all you have to do is sit at home and watch Netflix' then I think it’s worth reflecting on whether you are exercising your bad mood on the people you live with. It sounds like they are finding you negative and moany. You’re allowed to struggle but they are allowed to feel fed up if you’re constantly going on about how awful things are. I struggle with those sorts of people at work, the ones who want to talk about what they are missing all the time even though I understand that they probably find it cathartic. I don’t find it at all healthy to dwell too much on what I can’t do because of the pandemic so if I was shut up at home all day with someone like that I’d find that really hard. I think a bit of empathy on both sides might be useful. They probably aren’t finding this a bed of roses either, introverts or not. It sounds like what they are saying is “it could be worse and your moaning is getting me down”.

This exactly!

A friend of mine, who would class herself as an introvert in that she is comfortable in her own company.has been living with someone who sounds like the OP. All they have down is moan for a year now (with the exception of a few weeks in the summer) how life is so unfair

So much so my friend has often snapped and said the Netflix line just to shut them up

Luckily my friend is about to move out which is going to be so good for her mental health.

In fact I’m now starting to wonder if her housemate is the OP.....

[quote WhoStoleMyCheese]**@dudsville* @Twatalert* genuine question - in what ways would you change the design of the world to be better for people like you?
introverts(or whatever the term is) at work complain about things like networking events, having to socialise, etc. And they say that their 'work should speak for itself'.
The problem is the efficacy of most jobs rely on building relationships... I'm a programmer (a famously reticent profession) and the devs who get things done the quickest know whom to ask.
People sometimes see the best talkers as most efficient ... that's annoying,yes.. but equally if you just 'stay quiet and do your work' nobody will put any of the plum opportunities your way.
Just my two cents - as much as I love human interaction and banter with colleagues I do not like delibrately 'cultivating relationships' but there's no way around it[/quote]
Smaller workspaces for example. 3-4 people sharing one office instead of a large but cramped open plan space. Working from home more (in peace and quiet), rather than getting on a crowded train and then into a crowded office.

You know, my job requires A LOT of interaction with others. It does not bother me. But I want to be able to choose how I do it and not be looked down on because I left a networking event or a party before mid-night or sometimes do not turn up at all. I can achieve just the same by a 1:1 with someone in a cafe or a video call. Those who see the best talkers as most efficient are maybe those who don't know any different.

I am vary of talkers who just talk for the sake of it and actually say very little. I'm most impressed by people who can get to the point in a few words and don't talk your ear off. This is what makes me efficient. I don't gossip. I focus on what is important and on what I can influence with my actions. Things I can change. I actually like catching up with people over a coffee, friends and colleagues, but I don't like a crowd of them. And yes we do like banter, but we want to be able to understand what we and the other people are saying and not shout like you might have to in a nightclub or a massive networking event.

It is not that introverts don't want to talk to anyone or want to talk to people as little as possible. But if you aren't the chatterbox or don't like huge networking events.... the world is still very discriminatory towards you because it is accepted that this is how it has to be and people are not questioning it enough. And if you don't like these things then surely there is something wrong with you. This is the message I got all my life.

There are introverts and extroverts who just stay quiet and do their work. Not all quiet people are introverts because not everyone wants a high flying career. As with everything, introversion and extroversion exist on a spectrum. How do you know the quiet lady over there in the office is not a wild party animal 5 times a week?

I am sick of all the minimising of peoples struggles

Yet when introverts on here have said that THEY are also struggling you have minimised by saying...

But imagine if you didn't get that day to recharge - for months on end.
They’re not because (for those living with people) they have no alone. They’re not getting to recharge too!

they can't comprehend why the loss of these things for me is a massive blow
Yet you also seen unable to comprehend how fucking exhausting this is for introverts too. Also how exhausting general life is by making comments like
some kind of sociological shift where we all had to go out and partake in an activity, even a basic social one like interacting with a cashier or meeting someone for a coffee, every day for days on end for a year.
Also known as everyday life.

This is one tiny subsection of people (your fist mates) saying this to you. Why do you think that is? I’d take a good look at yourself and how you’re projecting this woe is me attitude and how you’ve also treated them pre-lockdown. Always talking to them? Bugging them to go out, watch a movie, do something with you? Never found that way to just leave them be or understand their personality type?