You're only being asked to stay home and watch Netflix

[boredbutterfly]

I'm so sick and tired of hearing this from naturally more introverted people. As if it's the easiest thing in the world to do this day in day out on end.

Some of us are extroverts. We need social interaction. It's what makes us happy and energises us. On the flip side introverts tend to need alone time to 'recharge' and that absolutely fine to.

But I'm so sick of hearing from introverts that staying home alone all day is so easy. Yes it may be easy for you but we're not all the same.

Imagine if that was some pandemic, or even just a sociological phenomenon, which meant that it was never safe to be alone. Some form of the 'buddy system' had to be introduced. Or some kind of sociological shift where we all had to go out and partake in an activity, even a basic social one like interacting with a cashier or meeting someone for a coffee, every day for days on end for a year. How long do you think it would be before the introverts were breaking and talking about how they 'just need one day for themselves' and they were willing to take the small risk just to get some time alone to recharge because they were going crazy.

I'm just so sick of all the sanctimonious introverts acting like because this is their preferred way of living the rest of us should find it easy to adapt to. And that it's not just asking us to stay home and watch Netflix, but to give up everything that for some is us have life meaning, was our way of recharging or unwinding or energising ourselves.

I probably haven't articulated myself very well. I just need a vent after hearing yet again some variation of 'it's just staying in and watching tv, the rest of us are getting on with it fine, why can't you' and I want to scream 'BECAUSE THAT'S ALL YOU BLOODY DID BEFORE LOCKDOWN TOO, NOTHING HAS CHANGED FOR YOU!'

I agree! I'm also losing money and having to live off my savings every single day of this pandemic - no government help for us! So I'm actually not happy about just sitting at home watching Netflix!

Oh please! Another fucking extrovert who doesn't have the intelligence to realise what an introvert actually is...

I'm an introvert who is fucking sick of being 'locked up' with people who have either come in or come out of my vagina*.

*Can't take credit for the last sentence, Saw it in a meme.

I don't think it is an introvert/extrovert split.

I think people who say "you just have to stay home and watch netflix" are financially stable, with no children or older children, work part time from home or not at all, in a big house with a garden in a nice area.

They aren't thinking about people who live in a garden less flat, or are homeschooling while working full time, or have been made redundant or lost all their income.

Introvert... recluse... who cares what they're called?
I hear you OP.
I love people and LOVE socialising - my energy levels and mental stability get very low when I'm alone or see the same person every damn day.
To top it all we will be WFH permanently with only 1 day in the office!
I refuse to spend the rest of my life in my bloody house but all my other colleagues think it's the best thing ever.As soon as I can I will move jobs.. to somethig more sensible...

The world is designed around extroverts, so this has unfortunately made me a little smug. I live my life in an extrovert's world. A horrible pandemic gives you a warped and relatively brief notion of how it would be better for me and it frustrates you. I have minimal sympathy.

Couldn’t agree more OP it drives me mad. I hate being at home and I hate watching Netflix. Home was somewhere I came back to after I had been somewhere or done something not somewhere I liked spending 90% of my time. My life was full and busy and I loved it, I love my husband but spending all day everyday in the house together isn’t healthy, he’s working from home and I’m on mat leave and we are just both getting in each other’s way. If it wasn’t for being able to meet friends for a walk I would have gone crazy after all this time. I’m already filling my diary with events and things to do as and when restrictions lift. I just can’t wait to be busy again!!

@dudsville

The world is designed around extroverts, so this has unfortunately made me a little smug. I live my life in an extrovert's world. A horrible pandemic gives you a warped and relatively brief notion of how it would be better for me and it frustrates you. I have minimal sympathy.

I couldn't agree more.

I'm struggling now. It's been a year since I had a catch up with friends. And I'm a happy go lucky sort of person usually.

@dudsville @Twatalert genuine question - in what ways would you change the design of the world to be better for people like you?
introverts(or whatever the term is) at work complain about things like networking events, having to socialise, etc. And they say that their 'work should speak for itself'.
The problem is the efficacy of most jobs rely on building relationships... I'm a programmer (a famously reticent profession) and the devs who get things done the quickest know whom to ask.
People sometimes see the best talkers as most efficient ... that's annoying,yes.. but equally if you just 'stay quiet and do your work' nobody will put any of the plum opportunities your way.
Just my two cents - as much as I love human interaction and banter with colleagues I do not like delibrately 'cultivating relationships' but there's no way around it

I hate the Netflix saying too. I wish that was all I had to do all day but been working from home for the past year which means everything takes twice as long and I’m twice as tired with half the amount of free time.

I totally understand what you’re saying but agree with PP that introvert is the wrong word here. The kind of ppl you’re talking about are socially anxious and anti social.

I’m an introvert - I need time alone to recharge. I could entertain clients easily and stand up in a room full of strangers to deliver a presentation. I’m quite outgoing but I am an introvert.

Also, frankly I’ve completed Netflix & Prime 🤣 my kids have watched every Peppa Pig & Paw Patrol in existence & we must be on our 10,000 watch of Trolls & Trolls2 😫

I'm an introvert and I'm never bloody alone anymore! The DCs and DH are constantly here wanting attention and it's driving me nuts. Sitting around watching netflix hasn't been happening here

I’m an extrovert (somewhere between an ENTP and ENTJ personality type depending on the day). I love being around other people and am chatty and outgoing. I’ve never been described as an introvert in my life.

Whilst I think someone who says something like that to someone else is an arsehole, it is the sort of thing I tell myself regularly. I find it helpful to keep a sense of perspective. Yes it’s tough, yes I’d rather be out and seeing friends and family and I’m as desperate as anyone else to get back to being able to do my usual weekly evening out for dinner and drinks with friends. I’d go totally mad if I focused on that though.
I stay home, watch Netflix, run an online book club, have online coffee meets with friends and colleagues and do zoom parties with games or quizzes with family. When I’m able to physically go to work I make the most of it. Would I rather be doing other things? Yes. Do I get down about it? Yes, but I find it helpful to think about the fact that, in the grand scheme of things, this is not the worst thing that could happen to me. Historically, humans have endured far worse and there are people out there right now experiencing far worse and surviving.

I am an extrovert. I love people. My kids say my super power is talking. I have 2 jobs and run 2 voluntary organisations. I had a very active social life going out with DH or friends or both or with the kids, weekends away, the kids do numerous clubs. Some weeks I could be out 3/4 times a week with the various events or nights out or kids clubs. Weekends were spent visiting family or going out for the day.

It's not that I love being away from people or love spending every night in. I'd love to see my kids assembly at school or go away with a friend. But I've been furloughed and we can comfortably manage financially. We have enough space in our house for people to have their own room to chill in and the kids have access to the internet and laptops.

We do have Netflix and various other platforms to watch things, the kids have devices and I've kept in touch with people via the phone etc.

Personally I will be sooo glad when we are back to normal but I do feel lucky that I've been asked to just stay at home and haven't had to work on the frontline.

I know not everyone thinks the same but it is possible that those that say it do believe it's best. It should never be used to belittle what someone else thinks though

All people with local families. I have no one nearer than 85 miles and she is 87 and I think I am wasting the last months of her life. And both my 20+ dcs lost their jobs and are locked away in single rooms in grim shared houses and we work every day to help them out and they hate it that it has to be that way.

You do understand that the basic social interactions you've described are things that we have to go through daily and don't particularly enjoy? Daily, as in no days off to 'recharge'.

A lot of us have marriages, children, stressful careers, events in our calendars as well as the usual day to day running errands and living.

I know this is deferring from your point but I'm sick of the introvert bashing I've seen on here lately.

The fact we get burnt out quicker and need to find headspace alone doesn't mean we sit at home not speaking to anyone. This isn't an introvert issue, it's your friend saying the wrong thing.

@ChocOrange1

I don't think it is an introvert/extrovert split.

I think people who say "you just have to stay home and watch netflix" are financially stable, with no children or older children, work part time from home or not at all, in a big house with a garden in a nice area.

They aren't thinking about people who live in a garden less flat, or are homeschooling while working full time, or have been made redundant or lost all their income.

Exactly this. As a lone parent, homeschooling and working, and the trying to catch up on yet more work and household stuff in the evening, I've barely watched an adult TV programme in the last year. I'm lonely and also touched out and exhausted and am dying to hug my mum again.

I’m fairly introverted, often happier staying in on a Saturday night watching a film with DP than going out, don’t do well in large social groups, but I have hated every second of lockdown. All our choices have been removed. Before I could decide to meet a friend, or go for a coffee by myself, stay home, or go out, having a weekend of lounge-wear and sofa was a treat to re-charge. I also went to work, which involved teaching large groups of students, plus interacting with my colleagues. Since March that has all been through MS Teams.

I don’t know about the people you know, OP, but everyone I know is absolutely sick to the back teeth of it, introvert or extrovert, and have been since April last year. We’ve barely been out of restrictions here and it feels absolutely relentless.

I also think, OP, that if you’re being told this as often as you say you are then it might be worth reflecting on whether you’re being quite negative. I mean that gently. I’ve never said something like this to someone, but there have been times when I’ve had to really bite my tongue at work with some people who want to do nothing else except bang on about how dreadful everything is. It brings everyone down when they are constantly dwelling on what we can’t do.
One of our colleagues almost died and has had to take ill health retirement, others had chemotherapy and other cancer treatments delayed, others lost loved ones and couldn’t be with them or attend the funerals, several of our students lost parents and one was orphaned (her surviving parent died of covid following the loss of the other to another illness just over a year ago). I personally find it a bit crass for people to sit in the staff room constantly wanging on about not going skiing for half term, or not having a 37th birthday party as if it’s the worst thing that could ever possibly have happened to anyone.

"But imagine if you didn't get that day to recharge - for months on end."

I don't need to imagine, op. I am an introvert who needs some alone time to recharge. Not had that now for months. Got a little bit of alone time late summer, but again it was months before that.

In my own personal experience it's not introverts saying stuff like stay home and watch tv. It's more likely to be people not having to leave the house for work.

Nobody cares about introverts having to sit in packed out, noisy open plan offices all day in normal times.

Nothing to do with being introvert or extrovert imo.
Depends on so much else. I am not especially extrovert but I have still missed family and activities like concerts etc. But it is a necessary evil which thankfully is on its way out.
The most difficult bit of lockdown was fighting for the right support for my SEN kids and the impossible task if homeschooling and working at the same time.

@PurpleDaisies

You’re misunderstanding introversion. I’m more introverted than extroverted and it doesn’t mean you enjoy being stuck at home.

This. Being an introvert doesn’t mean you enjoy living like a hermit

They aren't thinking about people who live in a garden less flat, or are homeschooling while working full time

I live in a gardenless flat and have home educated my DS since before the pandemic. And I work. All 3 of us are massive introverts. We love our life but lockdown has still been pretty shit for us.