You're only being asked to stay home and watch Netflix

[boredbutterfly]

I'm so sick and tired of hearing this from naturally more introverted people. As if it's the easiest thing in the world to do this day in day out on end.

Some of us are extroverts. We need social interaction. It's what makes us happy and energises us. On the flip side introverts tend to need alone time to 'recharge' and that absolutely fine to.

But I'm so sick of hearing from introverts that staying home alone all day is so easy. Yes it may be easy for you but we're not all the same.

Imagine if that was some pandemic, or even just a sociological phenomenon, which meant that it was never safe to be alone. Some form of the 'buddy system' had to be introduced. Or some kind of sociological shift where we all had to go out and partake in an activity, even a basic social one like interacting with a cashier or meeting someone for a coffee, every day for days on end for a year. How long do you think it would be before the introverts were breaking and talking about how they 'just need one day for themselves' and they were willing to take the small risk just to get some time alone to recharge because they were going crazy.

I'm just so sick of all the sanctimonious introverts acting like because this is their preferred way of living the rest of us should find it easy to adapt to. And that it's not just asking us to stay home and watch Netflix, but to give up everything that for some is us have life meaning, was our way of recharging or unwinding or energising ourselves.

I probably haven't articulated myself very well. I just need a vent after hearing yet again some variation of 'it's just staying in and watching tv, the rest of us are getting on with it fine, why can't you' and I want to scream 'BECAUSE THAT'S ALL YOU BLOODY DID BEFORE LOCKDOWN TOO, NOTHING HAS CHANGED FOR YOU!'

@MixedUpFiles

You realize that what you describe was life before the pandemic for introverts. Forced to go to offices or shops or classrooms every day. Forced to work in groups. All because it’s what is normal or the only way people can be productive or any other number of ridiculous excuses.

Introverts have had to adapt to the extroverts world all my life. In that respect one year of the shoe on the other foot is not that long.

Society has always excepected introverts to adjust to an extrovert world. You just never noticed because for you it's normal. Maybe now you get a taste of what daily life for some introverts has been like.

I doubt the OP cares how hard introverts have it, having to adapt to the world of the extrovert.

Some form of the 'buddy system' had to be introduced. Or some kind of sociological shift where we all had to go out and partake in an activity, even a basic social one like interacting with a cashier or meeting someone for a coffee, every day for days on end for a year

Introverts are already doing this... they have families, friends and jobs some of this requires a high level of intense social interaction. (Especially during this pandemic)

@boredbutterfly - the only form of home entertainment for extroverts is Netflix???
Ever heard of zoom calls / parties? (I did an escape room one with friends - the socialising possibilities are truly endless!
No need to be an "extrovert in exile" )

www.amazon.co.uk/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0141029196/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=quiet+by+susan&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1614811171&sr=8-1

OP - I cannot recommend the above book highly enough... I think introverts and extroverts and everyone in between should read it!

@Rosannarosannadanna

They aren't thinking about people who live in a garden less flat, or are homeschooling while working full time

I live in a gardenless flat and have home educated my DS since before the pandemic. And I work. All 3 of us are massive introverts. We love our life but lockdown has still been pretty shit for us.

Yep. If you read my post i said i don't think it's to do with people being introvert or extroverrt. Its about people who are highly privileged being unable to see that lockdown is shit for other people- like you.

I think it’s a mistake, and too simplistic, to divide people into introverts and extroverts over this issue - or any issue really.

I’ve always found I’m a bit of both, I need people sometimes but I’m more of an introvert over all.

But as a pp has said - most of us are locked down WITH people. Introverts are probably craving solitude more than ever.

Its about people who are highly privileged being unable to see that lockdown is shit for other people- like you.

But it isn't shit for those reasons, that was my point, because I always home educated DS in a flat with no garden whilst working. That bit was normal for me.

And I would say that we are highly privileged, given DH is a high earner and both of us have been able to safely WFH. Gardenless flats are not necessarily a sign you are on the breadline or deprived!

Personally I’m sick of all those sanctimonious extroverts who think they know me and how I might be feeling because they believe watching Netflix is all I do.

I love my own company. Very happy to spend hours and hours alone. Struggling like mad with lockdown. Like I say, you don’t know me so do jog on dear and take your stupid comments with you.

I’ll happily stay at home and do nothing but watch Netflix, or perhaps I’ll cheat and do a little sewing at the same time. I’m absolutely exhausted and have had no time to myself for a very long time. Who will be looking after the baby and toddler?

Maybe they're just bored of you moaning about it.

Maybe they're lockdown arseholes regardless of their introvert status.

Maybe you need better friends.

Maybe you shouldn't generalise about a whole group of people based on the few interactions you personally had.

Introverted widowed parent here. I WFH, and one of my children has (mild) SEN and makes their presence felt minute by minute, much as I love them.

Where the hell is all the ‘alone time’ the pandemic has whipped up for me?

And don’t tell me bubbling should’ve solved this - my DPs are CEV and local friends are busy with what covid has done to their own families.

One of the frustrating aspects has been those who live with a partner and kids and have a support bubble with their best friend still complaining about the lack of human interaction, not understanding what it's like for someone who lives alone. I've not even touched another person for a year, so there's that...

While I generally enjoy alone-time, it's been so strange being cut off from the ordinary daily/weekly human contact that used to happen without planning or effort. Seeing people at work and having a chat over your lunch break or something- but they're not exactly friends so you can't Zoom or WhatsApp them for a chat now.

If it's winding you up so much speaking to people you deem to be intoverts and you are an extrovert, presumably with other extroverts in your circle, speak to them instead? Plan some things for when circumstances allow?

It's people who have deemed themselves as introverts. And sadly I'm unlucky to be stuck living with them and their sanctimonious attitudes for now. I do have plenty of plans for when I get out luckily! But if I hear one more 'why do you look so miserable, stop moaning, all you have to do is sit at home and watch Netflix' I may snap'
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The world is designed around extroverts, so this has unfortunately made me a little smug. I live my life in an extrovert's world. A horrible pandemic gives you a warped and relatively brief notion of how it would be better for me and it frustrates you. I have minimal sympathy.

So let me get this straight? You're enjoying other people suffering in a kind of stick it to them man 'you finally feel my pain' kind of way? How about instead of being smug and glad other people now feel shit you enjoy yourself quietly without revelling in other people's misery. And find a way to keep living a life you enjoy post lockdown whilst the rest of us get to go back to what makes us happy. Maybe that's better, so everyone's happy, rather than enjoying other people's misery (misery that in many cases has led to suicide, how could you be so callous) in some twisted form of revenge.

@JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff what you describe sounds like an unreasonable amount of overtime. Are you getting paid for any of it?

Up until last week, I was also working way over my hours and suffering for it. Constantly missing out on any daylight & just living to work. None of us get paid overtime and yet almost all of us are doing this. We are all exhausted, stressed and sometimes snapping at each other then feeling terrible and apologising.

So this week I have just stopped doing it. Yes sometimes a couple of things dont get done, but I have a right to a life outside my contracted hours. In my case they need to hire more people- but they won't.

These people are not introverts. They are living in mansions with an acreage, gym, sewing room and swimming pool.

Oh dear you live with them!?! Then they are energy vampires. Its a bit like when you are both drunk with a friend and they start throwing up and you sober up quick sharp. You are their netflix.

Not all introverts thank you. I’m more of an introvert but I’m so stir crazy. We usually go away for the weekend every month or two. I just need to be able to travel around again. Take the family out for the day. Relax on the beach. I miss freedom very much.

You’re criticising people who you think you should do this easily (I’ve heard no one day that) by attacking them because you think they can do this easily.

You misunderstand introverts and are kind of a hypocrite.

One one many you there

Who think you should

FML - that’s really your summary and sweeping generalisation?!

That is your view on how things are. Don’t summarise for everyone else. I know some extroverts who hate it and some who’ve been surprised by a feeling of respite. I know introverts who have felt more comfortable with it, yet others who miss interactions with those they feel comfortable with.

Amongst that, there’s a shit tonne of people just trying to get through day by day.

Why do people seem to need to make these sweeping statements about one or the other?

Your post screams frustration - which is completely valid and understood. But don’t assume/dismiss what others are feeling too.

I’m an introvert, and I agree with you completely. I’m autistic, so quarantines have been much easier for me than they will have been for many people. But I can appreciate that it must be absolutely horrible for people who thrive on social interaction.

I don't mind being at home but I think I'd be quite lonely without dp and dc here too. We do have Netflix but I don't watch tv. The dc watch horrid Henry, that's the only reason we keep it

I'm an introvert (although I'm very outgoing and sociable but only in short doses) and lockdowns are a nightmare because I'm never on my own and being around people 24/7 and constant interaction, even with my own family (homeschooling), sucks my will to live.

More to the point, the Netflix thing is dumb because barely anyone gets to do that between wfh and home schooling and all the other crap that you have to do. Even if we did all get to do that, something that's fun in small doses isn't either (1) fun or (2) good for you in large doses. Bit like having a glass of wine vs. being forced to drink a vat of it in one go.

Extroversion-introversion is a scale with a normal distribution, not an either/or state. What that means in practice is that the vast majority of people in a population will come up as somewhere in the middle, and be slightly introverted or extroverted. Reading this thread, you’d think people were either people who got this energy from constant socialising or people who desperate need solitude to gain their energy but the vast majority want a bit of both! More broadly it feels to me that there are so many ways that this year can have been a challenge for people - illness, bereavement and job loss, really difficult mental health issues. So you just sort of have to avoid a shit-off, of who has had it worst.