I’ve written my notice. Someone tell me I’ve done the right thing...

[readyplayer2]

I’m due back to work in 4 weeks time after being on maternity leave for 14 months.

I work in a large office and my employer throughout the whole pandemic hasn’t sent anyone to work from home!

I’m 35 have a BMI of 40 and I’m asthmatic, I also have psoriasis for which I am unmedicated.

I’ve been extremely careful, limiting social contact, avoiding supermarkets etc since last year.

I’ve written to my employer as asked if I can wfh but today have received a written response to my request which states that due to business requirements, I will need to be back into the office.

I’m due to work 3 days a week and my son will go to nursery.

I’ve weighed up my risks and I feel like it’s too much of a risk me being in the office and my son being at nursery.

My husband wfh and has done since last March!

I feel like my son would benefit so much from nursery but I just don’t think it’s worth the risk to me, especially if it means I could leave him without a mother.

I was hoping I would be vaccinated by the time I go back to work but I haven’t heard a single thing, I had a Drs appointment last week and they confirmed I am group 6 and need to wait my turn.

I can’t extend my return to work date as I’ve already done this and used all of my annual leave allowance.

Hate what Covid has done to us all :(

I do sympathise as I made the same mistake regarding covering illness when I went back to work just because my DH was the higher earlier and we couldn’t possibly disturb his career could we?!

Everything fell to me. Every time they had a temperature I was called to leave work. Completely messed my career up and I regret it enormously. I have no idea why I did it. Just don’t do what I did.

They have to cover some illness.

@2020fuckoff

Personally (& I expect to be told in being harsh) I think you are being ridiculous!

I am severely asthmatic and currently shielding as I am ECV however, if my work would allow me, I would be straight back. I also worked up to January without a vaccination, as did every other person 'at risk'.

At the end of the day, we will have to learn to live with Covid as we have had to learn to live with the flu.
The vaccination will not eradicate the virus, it will just mean that it will be hopefully milder and lead to less hospital admissions, however it will still be around.

In 6 months/12 months you say you will need to work...Covid will still be around, what will you do then?

Totally agree

@thewinkingprawn

And please don’t get signed off for stress - that is an actual condition that should not be used just because you don’t want to go into the office. Having told them you don’t want to go in, then having said no and you then getting signed off with stress will most certainly put a place mark against your name.

I find this bizarre advice. If someone is anxious enough about Covid to quit their job (despite not being able to afford to, despite putting their family in financial jeopardy) then in my opinion that's a genuine mental health issue.

Firstly: don’t quit your job. Go to your GP and seek some help for your anxiety.
Secondly ( and I don’t mean to pile on) but when your son goes to nursery he’s likely to have a fair bit of sickness, and if you keep asking for short notice time off you could well face issues at work - you don’t seem to be able to afford to be without a job so I would also encourage thinking through the you doing all the emergency childcare issue a bit more!

@readyplayer2 But what if you had a small child in nursery?

Nursery are the least likely age to catch it. I have 2 older children. In Scotland and so still off school but they will go back at some point.

No I don't think it's the right thing, you need the job, your chances of getting seriously ill are minute, it's the definition of irrational.

You need to go into the office and find out what is in place before you make such a big decision.

I agree with asking to see the risk assesment . You can take your own hand sanitizer and wear a mask all day if you want ? Ask for screens at your desk if they don’t have them .

Is the office going to be ventilated ? Temperature tests as you go in ?

I think that everyone assumes that if they are high risk they WILL are ill if they get it , but that’s not the case .

My nephew was in theory very high risk and caught covid from his carer the week before his vaccine was due . He was fine . Hardly any symptoms. And yet I know someone else low risk who was very ill . It’s so random.

Also is your office in a high risk area ? What are cases like ?

I appreciate your problem but I think you have to try and find out a bit more and get it in proportion to risk .

Sorry OP, I know this isn't what you want to hear, but another voice for DO NOT QUIT YOUR JOB. As others have said, if financially you will need to be working in the next 6-12 months, you really, really don't want to be hunting for a new job in this climate.

Wear a mask at all times - two if you want - hand wash and hand sanitise frequently, keep 2m away from everyone, open windows or doors near you if that's possible, bring food and a thermos of tea/coffee from home so you don't have to use the workplace kitchen, spend your lunch break outside, etc. In spite of your weight and asthma, your age means you are still at an increasingly low risk of getting seriously ill, let alone dying. Hangs in there being super careful, and you'll be vaccinated within the next few weeks.

(BTW, I do think your employer is being a jerk not letting you WFH until you are vaccinated, but as that's what you are stuck with, you shouldn't give up the job).

They are pretty much on to group 6. I would speak to your GP and ask to be signed off due to anxiety. I bet they will book your vaccine also. Have a month off and see how you feel then- you will probably be vaccinated then.
I would also buy yourself a FFP2 mask- you will feel much safer in one of those. I wear one all day at work and it is doable.

*No, I can’t afford it.

I can for probably 6 months, 12 at a push (relying on savings) but I will have to find a new job 6-12 months time.*

What’s going to be different in 6 months time? You may have had the vaccination by then, but you will get it soon anyway if you’re group 6. At 35 you have a minuscule risk from Covid and nurseries do not appear to spread it. Our nursery has had zero cases.
Your best option is to lose weight as that is something you can control. It might even help your asthma. Being unemployed and not being able to pay the mortgage is going to be worse than accepting a tiny risk from Covid for a matter of weeks before you’re vaccinated.

I speak as someone with a small child in nursery. The reason nurseries are still open is because small children don't get or transmit covid (unlike teenagers). There are no reports of mass infections at nurseries (unlike high schools). Just don't hang around near other parents at drop off an pick up until you've been vaccinated.

@2020fuckoff

Personally (& I expect to be told in being harsh) I think you are being ridiculous!

I am severely asthmatic and currently shielding as I am ECV however, if my work would allow me, I would be straight back. I also worked up to January without a vaccination, as did every other person 'at risk'.

At the end of the day, we will have to learn to live with Covid as we have had to learn to live with the flu.
The vaccination will not eradicate the virus, it will just mean that it will be hopefully milder and lead to less hospital admissions, however it will still be around.

In 6 months/12 months you say you will need to work...Covid will still be around, what will you do then?

Totally this...are you actually vulnerable or just self diagnosed?

You really are just going to have to get on with it and go to work - stop finding excuses.

This won't stop the pile on but I am still working as a secondary school teacher, I am bipolar and have BPD, I have a chronic pain condition and had 3 pulmonary embolisms in October. On Monday my husband is having chest X-rays looking for lung cancer.

My 3 y/o is in nursery everyday and thriving, my 14 y/o at home and miserable...seriously, just get on with it and stop mithering.

Unfortunately there’s no such thing as a “Covid secure” office. A few perplex panels and distance between desks are unlikely to make any difference to airborne transmission, especially if there’s unfiltered aircon.

Covid secure offices don't use aircon. The single most effective tool is to open the windows. We all take extra layers to keep warm. I've been going in the whole time and no-one in the workplace has had it. Done properly, offices certainly can be covid secure.

Before you decide anything, please check your contract, as there may be a clause about returning to work after maternity leave. As you have been off for 14 months, am assuming that you took a year with some annual leave?

Some contracts, although not all, will stipulate that an employee must return back to work for at least 3 months after maternity leave or will need to pay back a portion.

If you do have to return, communicate your concerns but make it specific, such as working in an open plan office or lack of social distancing giving specific examples, and not just that you are anxious about Covid.

If you're in group 6 due to your BMI/asthma then you should be vaccinated anytime now.

@NameChange1666

I think you need to find out about the office end the measures they have out in place. To me you have blown the risk out of proportion due to anxiety.

Agree

You are acting like you will definitely get it if you step foot out of the house

Honestly? I think you’ve let your anxiety get the better of you here.

If you get COVID you’re extremely unlikely to die. You could get knocked down by a bus tomorrow. Living your life like this isn’t healthy. If you were at real risk you would have been vaccinated by now. As it is, if you’re group 6 you’ll probably receive it soon.

It’s really not helpful to pass this anxiety on to your son by stopping him from going to nursery. I think it would be healthier for both of you (mentally) to rejoin the world ASAP.

I wouldn’t give up your job for this OP. You’ll be vaccinated shortly, and it sounds like you need the money. I was very anxious about covid to begin with, but we do all need to carry on with our lives now. Please ask them specific questions about the office setup. It might put you at ease- I certainly wouldn’t quit without fully understanding what they have in place!

Tens of thousands of people send their children to nursery daily including me. The advice of our nursery is to strip the child off at the door, bath the child and wash the clothes. As I’ve already said they’ve not had a single case there.
Your situation is not unique lots of vulnerable people send their child to nursery and go into work.
I’m sorry I am sounding harsh but that’s the reality. The risk to you is minimal. You’ll be getting to vaccine soon.

Hey! Don't hand your notice in. Sleep on it first.

In the meantime: you can ask your employer to come in for a kit day so that you can see the measures put in place for yourself.

Is it a specific type of company/business that they don't have anyone wfh?

I think you are overreacting! First off why are you assuming your workplace is unsafe? Covid legislation makes it very unlikely that this is the case. Secondly of you are that worried then do something about your general health. I don’t get the attitude of being terrified of a virus while ignoring all the other risk factors caused by your weight. I think you are just looking for an excuse to not go back work..

OP I think you are being sensible - I took redundancy having seen what "covid secure" was in our office.

The last day I worked in the office, pre lockdown, and despite multiple emails telling us not to come in the office with any covid symptoms, we had a director come in, attend a meeting with myself and an elderly gentlemen who was also CEV, and only after the meeting did I find out they had come in with a cough and a fever - I was freaking livid (more so because other staff were told not to tell me).

The only other time I went in there was another member of staff in the building (very restricted entry) with a fever and feeling like they had flu - the temperature gun was broken and it was only when I pointed out that everyone's temperatures were actually in the sepsis range and verging on hypothermia did someone order a new one.

Our building had had a risk assessment but very few people have followed it - my line manager is a staunch anti vaxer and I decided I did not want to sit less than a metre from him when I returned. He also believes covid is a conspiracy.

I jumped at the first chance I got a good package offer - health is the main priority for me.

I wouldn't hand my notice in over this, especially with the vaccine so close. Ask for some unpaid leave for a few weeks.

I honestly think you’re mad to hand in your notice over Covid.
The workplace is Covid safe. You can minimise risks further by taking in hand sanitiser, wipes, wear a mask and gloves. You can also put your clothes directly in the washer with a disinfectant rinse and shower the second you get home from work.

You can’t afford to be off work long term and there are over a million more unemployed people competing for fewer jobs rights now. This will only worsen as the furlough scheme gets wrapped up or made to have higher employer contribution- leading to more unemployed out of the 9 million currently in furlough.

You can’t resign this job for reason of Covid and realistically expect you’d be competitive for a new job in 2-3months time coming back after who knows how long from maternity leave. An employer seeing that you have a history of going on maternity leave and then refusing to come back....won’t be good on your CV at all.