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Original poster

I’ve written my notice. Someone tell me I’ve done the right thing...

591 replies

readyplayer2 · 27/02/2021 15:06

I’m due back to work in 4 weeks time after being on maternity leave for 14 months.

I work in a large office and my employer throughout the whole pandemic hasn’t sent anyone to work from home!

I’m 35 have a BMI of 40 and I’m asthmatic, I also have psoriasis for which I am unmedicated.

I’ve been extremely careful, limiting social contact, avoiding supermarkets etc since last year.

I’ve written to my employer as asked if I can wfh but today have received a written response to my request which states that due to business requirements, I will need to be back into the office.

I’m due to work 3 days a week and my son will go to nursery.

I’ve weighed up my risks and I feel like it’s too much of a risk me being in the office and my son being at nursery.

My husband wfh and has done since last March!

I feel like my son would benefit so much from nursery but I just don’t think it’s worth the risk to me, especially if it means I could leave him without a mother.

I was hoping I would be vaccinated by the time I go back to work but I haven’t heard a single thing, I had a Drs appointment last week and they confirmed I am group 6 and need to wait my turn.

I can’t extend my return to work date as I’ve already done this and used all of my annual leave allowance.

Hate what Covid has done to us all :(

OP posts:
rawalpindithelabrador · 27/02/2021 16:20

Wow! Utter madness to resign. Life is full of risks. Interested to hear what your husband thinks. Unless you've both agreed for you to be SAHP, I'd not be pleased with this at all.

LubaLuca · 27/02/2021 16:21

I'm in group 6 due to congenital heart disease, but I'm not classed as 'clinically vulnerable'. I've been going to work throughout and my kids were going to school when they were open. I'm still waiting for my jab.

You need to be pragmatic. You need a job. You will be getting vaccinated soon. Be sensible and do things that will reduce your chances of catching covid.

TinyGlassOwl · 27/02/2021 16:21

OP, your last thread on this subject told you exactly the same thing.

Anxiety is horrible and you have my sympathy, but this is not the solution for it. You are not at risk. You will be giving up your job, which you already can't afford to do, just as possibly the biggest, deepest recession for decades is about to hit.

What you are proposing will probably make your situation worse, not better. Please seek help for your anxiety before it makes you do something you will regret.

Original poster
readyplayer2 · 27/02/2021 16:21

@OutOfTheDoorNow

You need to check your contract as to whether you will pay back your maternity pay if you do not return. Mine for the local authority was you had to return 12 weeks full time or 24 weeks part time or pay it all back. That might really eat into those savings you have.

Quite simply with the current job market and not being able to live on one salary you would be absolutely crazy not to at least return to work and see what the covid secure office conditions are.

How many people in your office have caught covid? My friend who is incredibly over-weight into the obese category caught covid, as did all her family and she came out completely unscathed. No long term effects at all. I know this is anecdotal but it is a fact for her.

You are catastrophising. Look at the numbers, look at the population numbers. You are coming at this like it is a foregone conclusion. It isnt'.

Mask wearing, hand washing and opening all windows. All these reduce risk. You don't even know what the office is like at the minute. Find out.

@OutOfTheDoorNow

I don’t have to pay anything back.

I feel like it’s not the best decision to quit.

But if I’m office based and my son in in nursery then it’s inevitable I’m going to get it.

OP posts:
Anna12345678910 · 27/02/2021 16:22

@thewinkingprawn

And please don’t get signed off for stress - that is an actual condition that should not be used just because you don’t want to go into the office. Having told them you don’t want to go in, then having said no and you then getting signed off with stress will most certainly put a place mark against your name.
I agree it's awful.
ChancesWhatChances · 27/02/2021 16:22

So instead of doing the sensible thing and asking your employers for a copy of their Covid office protocols and the measures they’ve put into place to ensure the work environment is safe, you’re just going to hand in your notice despite being unable to afford to leave your job?

That’s got to be the stupidest thing I’ve heard today, and I’ve already read a thread about a woman confusing a cushion tassel with a baby hedgehog. You’re an adult, act like an adult. You’re going to get nowhere at all in life with no critical thinking skills.

Chimeraforce · 27/02/2021 16:24

You're 35 with a young infant. Trust me, you won't be top of the hiring list if you leave this job. Unless you have niche skills or experience.
You'll be pissing in the wind like millions of others. You could end up forced to compete for other woh jobs which may be far worse. So you'll be anxious and broke. Don't give the job up. See what the office is like now.
I hope you get your vaccine soon to help put your mind at ease.

Anna12345678910 · 27/02/2021 16:24

Having just read people's suggestions and your replies you aren't really looking for advice.
Just resign, let the job go to someone else, enjoy being at home then look again when ready as you obviously want to.

Disressingtimes · 27/02/2021 16:24

@Moirarose2021

I think as you have been so removed from normal life your anxiety has increased. Many have worked throughout ( myself included) and its fine. Vaccines are getting rolled out very quickly, it won't be long for you. Giving up your job which has already agreed to reduce your hours especially when you can't afford it is madness.
^this. I think you need to arrange a visit to your work so you can see the measures you have put in place before you hand your notice in. I say this as someone working customer facing with a CEV immunosuppressed person at home. Honestly in the beginning, after using all my holidays, I was terrified of going back. I was much better once I was actually there.
ChancesWhatChances · 27/02/2021 16:25

And as for your doom crying of “my son will be in nursery, I’ll be in an office it’s inevitable I’ll get it” - what about the thousands of children in nurseries and office workers that haven’t caught it? It’s not inevitable you’ll get it, there are thousands of people across the country going to work and putting their children in childcare every single day because they have no choice and the majority of them have not had covid.

BigGreen · 27/02/2021 16:25

I think you're displaying symptoms of black and white thinking. It really isn't inevitable that your son will catch it from nursery, especially with rates very low at the moment. If you can't afford to give up work I think you should ride out the risk for the next few weeks until you're vaccinated, which might be as little as a couple of weeks as group 6 is being called at the moment.

MeadowHay · 27/02/2021 16:25

But if I’m office based and my son in in nursery then it’s inevitable I’m going to get it

What? No it's not. I was partially office based earlier in the pandemic and my DD went to nursery throughout. Nobody in our household has had covid Confused

TinyGlassOwl · 27/02/2021 16:25

But if I’m office based and my son in in nursery then it’s inevitable I’m going to get it

No, it isn't inevitable at all.

And even if you did get it, your risks of being very ill are tiny. Your risk of dying is effectively non-existent.

You are catastrophising. The solution for this problem is to get help for your anxiety, not to quit your job.

IndecentFeminist · 27/02/2021 16:26

I think you're mad tbh. The odds of your being very poorly are negligible. It is the medication given for certain types of psoriasis that makes you vulnerable, asthma has been downgraded as a risk and obesity alone at 35 is a negligible risk.

If you are group 6 anyway I'd call the GP and see how far along they are as you will be up soon. For the sake of a few weeks of 'zero protection' I wouldn't lose a perfectly good job.

BonnieDundee · 27/02/2021 16:26

I've had to work in the office throughout since last March as I cant afford to lose my pay. We had no protection at all in the beginning and definitely the office is still not "covid secure". I was worried at first but if you just have to get on with it you do manage.

I wouldnt give up your job

OverweightPidgeon · 27/02/2021 16:27

But if I’m office based and my son in in nursery then it’s inevitable I’m going to get it

I mean this nicely with a hint of exasperation, don’t be so silly of course it’s not inevitable that you will get it . Now , come on, you are a parent and an adult, you haven’t even seen how the office is set up yet . Go and get help with your anxiety, make steps to help yourself rather than running away.

LubaLuca · 27/02/2021 16:27

But if I’m office based and my son in in nursery then it’s inevitable I’m going to get it.

That's nonsense. Nobody in my office has had covid, and we're from all sorts of families - with children in nursery, school, multiple adults in one household going to various workplaces... Plus we're mixing with the public all day.

NerrSnerr · 27/02/2021 16:27

But if I’m office based and my son in in nursery then it’s inevitable I’m going to get it.*

It's not inevitable, I'm a nurse and have been working through, my husband cannot wfh and has been in the office, I have had one child at school and one child at nursery. None of us have had Covid- this is even when I was working on wards with Covid positive patients with very limited PPE back in March of last year.

You'll be vaccinated soon as well.

user88899 · 27/02/2021 16:27

But if I’m office based and my son in in nursery then it’s inevitable I’m going to get it.

a) it really isn't, you're going to get constant colds and stomach bugs, but Covid numbers are dwindling fast, my SIL teacher has worked throughout with kids in nursery, no Covid!

b) even if you do, so what? Have you actually looked at the data as to what happens in the majority of people but especially your age? If you're going to make such a drastic and bad decision for your family, please make it an informed one!!

IndecentFeminist · 27/02/2021 16:28

Fwiw I work in a school and no staff members have had it. (One pupil case.) There have been no cases in our nursery. Dh has continued to work in the community throughout and hasn't had it or come across any cases. It really isn't out there waiting to strike the moment you go out.

Notabove25 · 27/02/2021 16:28

Why is it inevitable you'll catch it? I work in a special school, fully open throughout with close contact and little use of PPE. Only 8 of a staff of 120 have had had it in 12 months.

Even if you did get it it's highly unlikely that it would be any worse than an unpleasant bug.

If it's so inevitable, has every one of the people who've been in work right through had it?

bubblebubblebubbletrouble · 27/02/2021 16:28

I think you are making a mistake for what is ultimately a small risk for a few weeks.
How many cases of covid have the nursery had?
How many cases have there been in your office?
I was amazed at how safe my office felt - much safer than the supermarket/school run. Go and visit the office before doing anything drastic.

Mucklemore · 27/02/2021 16:29

I think you need to speak to your Gp about your risks. I work in the NHS, lots of our staff have had COVID very mildly with "worse" risk factors than yours

I got COVID and my husband (50s, high BMI, smoker) didn't get it at all despite me not knowing I had it for days and we were sharing a bed etc.

I think this is more about your anxiety than actual risk, probably heightened as it sounds like you've led a very socially distanced life for the last year.

drumst1ck · 27/02/2021 16:30

Very much agree with other posters that your main issue here is your health anxiety, not covid! It's not inevitable that you will get it. Thousands of people work and have children in nursery and won't catch it. And if you do, it's a miniscule chance that you will have anything worse than flu symptoms. Talk to your GP about your anxiety and go from there. I appreciate this might be a really scary thing to do, but it sounds like your anxiety is ruling your life here instead of logic.

GaryUnicorn · 27/02/2021 16:30

I wouldn’t quit. A friend works for an online recruitment company and every vacancy has hundreds of people applying for it. I don’t think your company are the devils people are making them out to be. They have accepted your proposal for flexible working and you should grasp the ability to do that with both hands. Any companies with a full time vacancy will want somebody who can do the job full time. Plus, if you get a new job, will start a whole new probationary period, and it will be easier to terminate your contract if they wish. At least with your current company, you have been in employment for more than 2 years and will have more rights. Just wear a mask, use hand sanitiser and you will be fine. If you were that clinically vulnerable, you would have been called for a vaccination already. I’m sure it won’t be long before you receive an invitation.