I’m not doing this shit anymore

[struggling8888]

I’ve had enough!!!!!!! I’m sick to death of walking around my boring area, sick of the muddy fucking park and having to feed my baby in the cold because we’re not allowed indoors.

I hate the fact we’ve gone into mass fucking hysteria over a virus where 1/3 of people who get it don’t even realize and the vast majority of others get mild flu symptoms AT MOST.

I thought the vaccine was going to be our way out of this shit but no - suddenly there are new variants, it’s not good enough for the whole of the UK to be vaccinated - the WHOLE WORLD has to be vaccinated before we’re truly safe, and we’re now aiming for zero fucking Covid which was NEVER the original aim.

I just want family and friends to come round my house, indoors. I want to go to shops and sit in a cafe and not have to stand in a bloody queue to get in. I want someone to take my baby off me for one bloody afternoon so I can have a bit of peace and quiet.

I thought I’d feel better now the warmer weather’s here but I don’t at all. DP and I had a row earlier because he said it’s hard for him too and it’s not all about me. I never said it was, but surely I’m allowed to have a rant about how shit this is to my own partner?!!

I want the madness to end, now.

I am sorry that you are finding this so very hard. I think we all are, but we all have different levels of resilience to hardship.

It has been hard for me too - widowed in the first weeks of the pandemic and having to adjust to living alone and not being able to hug all my much-loved relatives and friends who would have helped me through.

But here we are; and we really have no choice but to grit our teeth and see this through. We have come so far and this is not the moment to throw in the towel - tempting I know, but it really is not the moment when we are so near the end.

I say end - but there will never be a complete end to this - we will have to adjust to the need for at least annual vaccinations against this wretched virus; and maybe even occasional local lockdowns.

And we must recognise that there may not be cut-and-dried answers to all the questions that you ask OP - because this is a new virus and a new vaccine and we are learning all the time. Not ideal of course, but that is how it is. Wishing for clear answers to something that does not have clear answers will make you feel worse. Adjusting to the fact that life is not perfect is one of the ways to feel happier.

But there are some things to look forward to and some positive suggestions for coping:

• the spring really is just around the corner - the nights are drawing out and the birds have returned to my garden.
• once the weather begins to get warmer we will be able to get together out of doors; and more safely indoors because we will be able to keep windows and doors open.
• the vaccine is being rolled out at speed and this is a very good thing indeed. It does hold out hope for the future, but cannot solve this problem unless it is also combined with judicious measures to avoid transmission to begin with.
• can you sit down and have a good think about what it is that you miss the most and what irks you most in this situation? Put those things in some sort of order, worst to least worst. Then alongside each item put some ideas as to how you can deal with them - things that you can do to replace the pleasure you get from these in some measure. Put yourself in control.

You have all my sympathy - I can hear how you are struggling; and I hope that just getting it "out there" on Mumsnet night help a bit. Take care.

I absolutely understand everyone’s need to rant and vent on this thread, and I hope it has helped to share the frustration and boredom and know that others feel the same.
I live alone and have been ill with long Covid since being hospitalised last April - I was previously fit but am now permanently breathless at 100 yards and suffer regular relapses of fatigue and muscle aches, so I am very much on board with the moaning!

I haven’t seen my DDs for ages - one has bubbled with her partner (they have separate flats) and the other’s partner is shielding with a congenital heart condition, and both live 50 miles away, outside my lockdown area.
So I am completely solitary, and yes it is shit.
However. And it’s a big however, and it keeps me going - we are very definitely approaching the end game now. A quarter of the UK population have been vaccinated already, which is an amazing achievement, especially when compared with EU countries.
Boris is already tentatively talking about the road map out of lockdown. Of course he has to avoid raising false hopes, and nobody can make cast iron guarantees without a crystal ball, but all the data are running in the right direction. Even last year, without the vaccine, cases dropped towards the summer.
There will be a gradual return of normal life. That is inevitable- no economy can survive eternal lockdown. The only question is how fast and in which order we open sectors up.
Schools are an obvious priority, but services, shops, and meeting family - initially outdoors, perhaps - will all follow.
So try to keep positive! Have a good swear, cry, rant - then pick yourself up and keep buggering on with the restrictions, a day at a time, until we no longer have to. Chins up all round. Hugs, and God bless to all of us going through this. It will pass.

Boris can’t guard it’s the last lockdown, he’d been a fool to say that. It’s shit we know.
I think there’s too much media speculation about what Boris will say tomorrow. They mess with your mind and cause stress and strain.
I expect your OH is feeling exactly the same as you

@struggling8888 is this your first baby? Because the way you describe things, moany baby an struggling to get along with your partner is exactly how I felt with my first, a long time before COVID. For sure COVID isolation is making things worse, but a lot of it is just normal baby shit. Babies are bloody boring, and many people (including me) don't or didn't have family support. Lean on your sister a bit more. If baby is at an age where you can, leave him with your partner and go stay with your sis for a couple of days. Also, might be worth being screened for PND...yes, COVID is shit, but the shitness of COVID can also mask other things.

@Mischance

I am sorry that you are finding this so very hard. I think we all are, but we all have different levels of resilience to hardship.

It has been hard for me too - widowed in the first weeks of the pandemic and having to adjust to living alone and not being able to hug all my much-loved relatives and friends who would have helped me through.

But here we are; and we really have no choice but to grit our teeth and see this through. We have come so far and this is not the moment to throw in the towel - tempting I know, but it really is not the moment when we are so near the end.

I say end - but there will never be a complete end to this - we will have to adjust to the need for at least annual vaccinations against this wretched virus; and maybe even occasional local lockdowns.

And we must recognise that there may not be cut-and-dried answers to all the questions that you ask OP - because this is a new virus and a new vaccine and we are learning all the time. Not ideal of course, but that is how it is. Wishing for clear answers to something that does not have clear answers will make you feel worse. Adjusting to the fact that life is not perfect is one of the ways to feel happier.

But there are some things to look forward to and some positive suggestions for coping:

• the spring really is just around the corner - the nights are drawing out and the birds have returned to my garden.
• once the weather begins to get warmer we will be able to get together out of doors; and more safely indoors because we will be able to keep windows and doors open.
• the vaccine is being rolled out at speed and this is a very good thing indeed. It does hold out hope for the future, but cannot solve this problem unless it is also combined with judicious measures to avoid transmission to begin with.
• can you sit down and have a good think about what it is that you miss the most and what irks you most in this situation? Put those things in some sort of order, worst to least worst. Then alongside each item put some ideas as to how you can deal with them - things that you can do to replace the pleasure you get from these in some measure. Put yourself in control.

You have all my sympathy - I can hear how you are struggling; and I hope that just getting it "out there" on Mumsnet night help a bit. Take care.

Sorry for your loss.. Sending a huge hug 🤗

@struggling8888

I don't know. I really do think it depends largely on what mutations occur. The best thing we can all do is gave as few interactions with others as we can

But for how much longer, Witches?!! (I know you can’t answer that).

The trite answer is 'for as long as it takes'

My personal feeling is that we need to do that for as long as we can. The official opening up of things like schools is going to mean community transmission increasing. The best thing everyone else can do is not increase that more by mixing at the gate or out of school.

If it changes snd you can meet one friend to sit on a park bench, don't take the pee and meet a rota of friends. Meet just the one or two friends who will make the biggest difference to your life. & even then keep a distance between you & wear masks.

Everyone doing as littke mucing as possible WILL make a difference and combined with the vaccine & track & trace - life WILL become much much more like it used to be.

I think this summer will be really good if we 'behave' until then. I think next winter we might need some restrictions, but if people haven't been stupid- next summer should be pretty much without restriction & without hospitals full of Covid patients.

Virus is transmitted by people. The government make rules that maker it easier or harder to transmit it. They & we ALL have our part to play.

@Mischance

I am sorry that you are finding this so very hard. I think we all are, but we all have different levels of resilience to hardship.

It has been hard for me too - widowed in the first weeks of the pandemic and having to adjust to living alone and not being able to hug all my much-loved relatives and friends who would have helped me through.

But here we are; and we really have no choice but to grit our teeth and see this through. We have come so far and this is not the moment to throw in the towel - tempting I know, but it really is not the moment when we are so near the end.

I say end - but there will never be a complete end to this - we will have to adjust to the need for at least annual vaccinations against this wretched virus; and maybe even occasional local lockdowns.

And we must recognise that there may not be cut-and-dried answers to all the questions that you ask OP - because this is a new virus and a new vaccine and we are learning all the time. Not ideal of course, but that is how it is. Wishing for clear answers to something that does not have clear answers will make you feel worse. Adjusting to the fact that life is not perfect is one of the ways to feel happier.

But there are some things to look forward to and some positive suggestions for coping:

• the spring really is just around the corner - the nights are drawing out and the birds have returned to my garden.
• once the weather begins to get warmer we will be able to get together out of doors; and more safely indoors because we will be able to keep windows and doors open.
• the vaccine is being rolled out at speed and this is a very good thing indeed. It does hold out hope for the future, but cannot solve this problem unless it is also combined with judicious measures to avoid transmission to begin with.
• can you sit down and have a good think about what it is that you miss the most and what irks you most in this situation? Put those things in some sort of order, worst to least worst. Then alongside each item put some ideas as to how you can deal with them - things that you can do to replace the pleasure you get from these in some measure. Put yourself in control.

You have all my sympathy - I can hear how you are struggling; and I hope that just getting it "out there" on Mumsnet night help a bit. Take care.

I love your post. Thank you. I'm so sorry for the loss of your partner

We need to get back to normal, we have put people’s lives on hold for far too long. There are other health concerns either than Covid which have been forgotten, this disease has meant we have ignored other health issues, education， general well-being.

Other conditions can only be treated when the black hole of Covid isn't draining our resources and creating a cohort of previously healthy people with long Covid and PTSD.

I don't understand why it's so hard to accept that the lower the numbers, the farther off the chance of a fourth surge and the more normal we can be. I just don't understand why that isn't obvious, especially when other countries are illustrating the truth of this and we're better placed with the vaccination roll out to finally scramble into some form of sunnyish uplands.

@Mischance

I am sorry that you are finding this so very hard. I think we all are, but we all have different levels of resilience to hardship.

It has been hard for me too - widowed in the first weeks of the pandemic and having to adjust to living alone and not being able to hug all my much-loved relatives and friends who would have helped me through.

But here we are; and we really have no choice but to grit our teeth and see this through. We have come so far and this is not the moment to throw in the towel - tempting I know, but it really is not the moment when we are so near the end.

I say end - but there will never be a complete end to this - we will have to adjust to the need for at least annual vaccinations against this wretched virus; and maybe even occasional local lockdowns.

And we must recognise that there may not be cut-and-dried answers to all the questions that you ask OP - because this is a new virus and a new vaccine and we are learning all the time. Not ideal of course, but that is how it is. Wishing for clear answers to something that does not have clear answers will make you feel worse. Adjusting to the fact that life is not perfect is one of the ways to feel happier.

But there are some things to look forward to and some positive suggestions for coping:

• the spring really is just around the corner - the nights are drawing out and the birds have returned to my garden.
• once the weather begins to get warmer we will be able to get together out of doors; and more safely indoors because we will be able to keep windows and doors open.
• the vaccine is being rolled out at speed and this is a very good thing indeed. It does hold out hope for the future, but cannot solve this problem unless it is also combined with judicious measures to avoid transmission to begin with.
• can you sit down and have a good think about what it is that you miss the most and what irks you most in this situation? Put those things in some sort of order, worst to least worst. Then alongside each item put some ideas as to how you can deal with them - things that you can do to replace the pleasure you get from these in some measure. Put yourself in control.

You have all my sympathy - I can hear how you are struggling; and I hope that just getting it "out there" on Mumsnet night help a bit. Take care.

What an absolutely lovely post.

So sorry for your loss.

@struggling8888

Also what I can’t understand is - why am I still not allowed to see my mum when she’s had her first dose of vaccine? Can anyone tell me that?

I’m feeling exactly the same reference your original post. I can’t do this anymore either.

You can see your mum though - You and her only, outdoors for exercise. Can you go for a walk with her?

The vaccine doesn’t stop you catching or passing the virus, but should lessen the illness.

@YuHu

And I agree. The vaccine is a bit fucking pointless if it still doesn't mean we can get back to normal once the vulnerable have had it.

Jesus Christ. Do yourself a favour and at least try to understand the science & the data. People are dying, who are not known to be vulnerable. Lots of them. We need the vast majority to be vaccinated so there's very little transmission, otherwise it will mutate until it escapes the vaccine. Then we're in trouble until they can re-engineeri it & get everyone re vaccinated.

There's plenty out there to explain where we are at, what we are achieving & what we need to do.

People just need to pay attention to the actual science!

I’m totally with you OP have had an absolute gutful! Not seen family in a year, mental health deteriorated so badly now on meds. Lost my job. It’s just an existence at the moment. Sick of the goal posts moving we were told if the R rate was down and vaccine rollout was on track things would ease up...can’t take much more of this it’s sheer misery. Vulnerable groups have been vaccinated they need to get back to some sort of normal or there will be nothing left. It’s gone on long enough !

@struggling8888

Also what I can’t understand is - why am I still not allowed to see my mum when she’s had her first dose of vaccine? Can anyone tell me that?

Can you not meet her outside for a walk?

@BonnesVacances I'm so sorry to read what you are going through. Long covid is awful and quite frightening. I hope she starts to regain strength and there is a way forward for her heart condition

@twelly

We need to get back to normal, we have put people’s lives on hold for far too long. There are other health concerns either than Covid which have been forgotten, this disease has meant we have ignored other health issues, education， general well-being. We cannot keep the population locked up.

Yep, all those things will definitely improve if we lift lockdown. Absolutely. They'll be brilliant if you just ignore the people dying and filling up the hospitals until they die.

No one had locked the population up, you've been asked to stay in your home. There's a huge difference.

@ilovebrie8

I’m totally with you OP have had an absolute gutful! Not seen family in a year, mental health deteriorated so badly now on meds. Lost my job. It’s just an existence at the moment. Sick of the goal posts moving we were told if the R rate was down and vaccine rollout was on track things would ease up...can’t take much more of this it’s sheer misery. Vulnerable groups have been vaccinated they need to get back to some sort of normal or there will be nothing left. It’s gone on long enough !

Sadly, no one seems to be able to convince the virus of that...

With you all the way...

This summer will be much like the last one, therefore not back to normal but more normal than this.

My concern is winter if there's either another wave/variant that does the round, or just a bad flu season after pretty much no flu this winter.

Why don't you form a bubble with someone else if your sister is too busy? What about one of your friends?

There are so many people at the end of their tether but, lockdown should be lifted slowly and carefully. If it’s rushed then increased amounts of the virus will circulate in the younger members of the population, who have not been vaccinated. Some might argue that it wouldn’t matter, as they don’t get really ill and die. We’ve mostly vaccinated the vulnerable, we’ve protected the NHS, so let’s get on with it!

But, wait a minute and think. If there’s an increased amount of the virus in circulation, what will happen? The virus will mutate, there’s no doubt. With large amounts of virus, there’s more virus that will mutate. At any time a new variant will emerge which is able to by pass the vaccine and bingo, we are back to square one.

Vaccinating all adults ASAP and slowly lifting lockdown is the answer. With smaller amounts of virus circulating, the scientists can keep track of it and prevent a new variant from spreading.

This thing will end but we have to be patient.

@Bilgepumper

There are so many people at the end of their tether but, lockdown should be lifted slowly and carefully. If it’s rushed then increased amounts of the virus will circulate in the younger members of the population, who have not been vaccinated. Some might argue that it wouldn’t matter, as they don’t get really ill and die. We’ve mostly vaccinated the vulnerable, we’ve protected the NHS, so let’s get on with it!

But, wait a minute and think. If there’s an increased amount of the virus in circulation, what will happen? The virus will mutate, there’s no doubt. With large amounts of virus, there’s more virus that will mutate. At any time a new variant will emerge which is able to by pass the vaccine and bingo, we are back to square one.

Vaccinating all adults ASAP and slowly lifting lockdown is the answer. With smaller amounts of virus circulating, the scientists can keep track of it and prevent a new variant from spreading.

This thing will end but we have to be patient.

Really Good post xx

BonnesVacances, Mischance

OP the baby stage is hard at normal times so you have my sympathy... it’s not really about having a Costa is it, it’s loneliness and anxiety which are entirely a reasonable way to feel right now. Be kind to yourself and make a bubble if you can. It will get better.

Your perception of a worldwide serious virus should change. If strict measures are not taken all over, then things would be a thousand times worse. Having vaccinations, doesn't make things safe at first, and everyone has to still be super careful for some time. A few million people having the vaccines,does not magically make the virus stop in its tracks immediately.

I'm with you OP, I'm done with lockdowns now, my kids are done with not seeing their friends.
Yes people have it worse than me, I'm frontline nhs on a covid ward so believe me I know how bad people have had it but that doesn't stop me wanting life to go back to normal.
It doesn't help when you see Prince Charles travelling 200 miles to see Prince Philip in hospital neither, maybe there's a reason for it but either way it's a kick in the teeth for the rest of us that aren't allowed to do it.

I hear you. I have had a week off work and all I could do was walk around the same fucking streets I do any other day of the week. DD (7) is absolutely brilliant but she is annoying the hell out of me and I am her. The dog is a a pup and really lovely but I can’t be arsed with dealing with a puppy at the moment. DP had a week off work but spent it all doing up DD’s bedroom and I was left entertaining child and pup.

There is no fun in anything. Everything feels like a drag at best and I am done. This shit had better be over soon - my sanity won’t last it!