I’m not doing this shit anymore

[struggling8888]

I’ve had enough!!!!!!! I’m sick to death of walking around my boring area, sick of the muddy fucking park and having to feed my baby in the cold because we’re not allowed indoors.

I hate the fact we’ve gone into mass fucking hysteria over a virus where 1/3 of people who get it don’t even realize and the vast majority of others get mild flu symptoms AT MOST.

I thought the vaccine was going to be our way out of this shit but no - suddenly there are new variants, it’s not good enough for the whole of the UK to be vaccinated - the WHOLE WORLD has to be vaccinated before we’re truly safe, and we’re now aiming for zero fucking Covid which was NEVER the original aim.

I just want family and friends to come round my house, indoors. I want to go to shops and sit in a cafe and not have to stand in a bloody queue to get in. I want someone to take my baby off me for one bloody afternoon so I can have a bit of peace and quiet.

I thought I’d feel better now the warmer weather’s here but I don’t at all. DP and I had a row earlier because he said it’s hard for him too and it’s not all about me. I never said it was, but surely I’m allowed to have a rant about how shit this is to my own partner?!!

I want the madness to end, now.

@struggling8888

And I stopped feeling quite so sorry for you.

I don’t care. I’m at rock bottom mentally anyway, so you can’t make me feel any worse than I already do.

Unfortunately some people don't understand that how bad you feel doesn't directly correlate to how bad they perceive your circumstances to be. Not sure why people think telling you off is going to help anybody. I'm sorry you're feeling so low and hope you feel better soon

"Saying 'I don't think I've got another lockdown in me', is just fucking hyperbole." Not if you're suicidal it's not.

This is not a good analogy.
For some people, lockdown is tragic and Covid would barely affect them. It’s like saying “I don’t care if your roof is about to collapse, you just stand there holding it up to save someone else’s roof from collapsing whom you’ve never met”

Actually @Wherediditgo it’s an excellent analogy but you are failing to grasp that whilst the disease itself might ‘barely affect’ some people, they would still be drastically affected by the impact on society of unrestricted contagion. People who bang on like this seem not to have noticed the numbers of dead and hospitalised despite lockdown, and be incapable of imagining how much worse things could have been. Who do you think would be keeping your lights on and emptying your bins, and supplying your supermarket or treating your broken leg if great swathes of the population were off sick all at the same time? I’m sick of the relentless lockdowns too but I’m even sicker of the relentless fucking stupidity. The natural R0 of the Kent strain is >5. 15% of those who contract the virus become seriously ill, 5% critical. Do the maths.

@struggling8888

At least you’ve got DH to live with, living alone has never been lonelier

True but we have been struggling to get along.

Maybe this is the real issue OP x

Unfortunately some people don't understand that how bad you feel doesn't directly correlate to how bad they perceive your circumstances to be.

Exactly. This. Someone else's perception of your situation does not equal the severity of your mental state. Like I said, our coping resources vary widely. For one person, not being able to get out of the house with a baby is a minor inconvenience that causes mild frustration. For another, it causes severe PND and suicidal thoughts. No one knows what someone else going through.

No honestly, people go through a fuck tonne worse. Saying 'I don't think I've got another lockdown in me', is just fucking hyperbole.
And that's polite. I'm not saying 'selfish idiot', just because I've got self-control

You clearly don't have the self-control not to post unpleasant sanctimonious shite to someone struggling.

The vaccines are truly a beacon of hope. They seem to be up to about 80% effective several weeks after taking the first dose. I looked up what this % means. It means that in the trials they avoided 80% of symptomatic infections i.e. if 100 people got ill in the placebo group only 20 did in the vaccine group - so 80% effective at avoiding symptomatic infection.

In addition when vaccinated people did develop Covid they tended to avoid serious illness/hospital admissions. Early studies also seem to be finding that vaccines are reducing asymptomatic cases and transmission. This is all amazing news. And these are our initial covid vaccines. Now imagine what can be achieved if trials find that vaccines that work in different ways are safe to be taken together and the effects of the 80% effectiveness of each combines or they are used in combination with an effective nasal spray....

Hi OP,
(assuming you are in England - sorry I don't know the rules for other areas)
as you know you are allowed a bubble with a baby. If your sister is too busy to spend time with you can you think of anyone you would like to spend time with and bubble with them? Perhaps you have a friend in a similar position? Or you could just pop down your sisters of an evening for a quick cuppa leaving your baby with your partner for an hour? If you do change your bubble you would always be able to ask your sister for help in an emergency as help in an emergency is always allowed.

Reading this thread it sounds like people are desperately lonely and worried about their children being lonely but maybe not taking advantage of the support that is allowed. If you need the support then you should use what is available. As well as the baby bubble a single adult is allowed a bubble so people with parents that live alone that they are worried about can bubble with them. Childcare bubbles are allowed and care and support bubbles are allowed. You are allowed to provide care and support to someone that needs it and you are allowed to help in an emergency. I think if someone is mentally unravelling then I am sure this is as much a need for care and support from a friend or relative as someone that needs physical assistance.

We can also meet one person for exercise (I hope this becomes rule of 6 soon!). I know this one person for exercise rule has been as much use as a chocolate tea pot in the freezing/rainy weather but that is improving. You can exercise with your support bubble or childcare bubble or meet one person from another household (under 5s don't count in this number and a person with a disability can have up to 2 carers that also don't count in this number). I think people that have a lonely teenager to encourage them to meet a friend for a walk, bike ride, football etc.

The statistics are going in the right direction and I think this last couple of months will have been the very worst of the lockdown. I hope (and believe) we are in for a slow but steady loosening up of rules now. I'm looking forward to being able to meet extended family outside for a picnic as the weather improves and I think this hope is realistic.

We now hope all adults will have had their first vaccination by the end of July and this first vaccine gives a great deal of protection (a few weeks after the vaccination is given). I am not in a rush to leap back to normal pre-covid behaviour because although I have had my vaccine around 5 weeks ago as a care worker, my husband has not yet been vaccinated (teacher). This virus is dangerous and when my husband is also three or four weeks post his first vaccine I will be ready to thank my lucky stars and believe that this virus won't destroy my little family - while thinking of everyone that has not been so fortunate.

Yes it's frustrating OP, but thinking that Covid just affect and kills those who are 'past the average life expectancy' as someone put it, is wrong. It is affecting younger people, and for many who have it and recover it can be a life changing illness. Vaccination is progressing at a good speed, and at least we can look forward to things getting better later this year, if not in the next couple of months.

*just to expand that the single adults that are allowed a bubble includes single parents that live with under 18s

@midgedude.
One of my favourite poems and so true. Sadly so many don’t see this.

OP, it is indeed very very very shit.

But it is going to get better, soon and fast. We've vaccinated the most vulnerable 1/3 of adults now and in a few weeks they'll be pretty well protected. By mid-April (probably sooner) we'll have vaccinated all the over-50s and vulnerable, where almost all the deaths and serious illnesses are. It is going to be ridiculously implausibly hard for the government to keep strict lockdown restrictions going indefinitely after that, even if they wanted to, which they won't.

A weird thing seems to have happened where some people - including some people with a high public profile who should know much much better - have got so fixed on what they wish had happened last February that they're downplaying the role of vaccines now. But the vaccines work, and they work well, and a lot of people are getting them, and there is just going to be zero public or government appetite to keep us all locked down indefinitely just in case some new variant develops somewhere else.

It's going to get better, soon.

I get it OP

I have lost faith in there being an end to restrictions tbh, not just face masks but I can’t see us ever having our old freedoms back. Human rights and freedom are now only given if the nhs can cope. Every winter the nhs struggles (due to underfunding and bad management) ergo we’ll never be free again.

Hope I am wrong. But I have just lost hope now. The goalposts keep shifting, and freedom is dangled in front of us like a carrot, but it’s never within reach.

The government have gone from too casual to overly cautious. We are lead by the nhs and virologists, which means that (fair enough from their point of view) we should be locked up every winter for our own good, for our own safety, to keep others safe.

@PinkTonic.
Yup.

I am afraid there will be another one but not until later in the autumn - let’s enjoy our summer and hopefully some freedom soon!

I read your post and felt sorry for you. Then I read Bonnevacances post and felt devastated for her. Then I read your further posts in which you responded to other posters in a self absorbed manner and totally ignored Bonnevacances

Nobody is owed a response, maybe @struggling8888 doesn’t know how to respond to an emotive post or simply just can’t right now as she’s at rock bottom. My brain sometimes just doesn’t work when I’m so low.

It’s not a competition and one person’s experience doesn’t and shouldn’t invalidate another’s.

People are entitled to their feelings.

@Chailatteplease Exactly. I'm entitled to mine too. I'm more than fed up as well but it's not a race to the bottom. But what I would give to see the end of this on the horizon. The actual end. My daughter well again (which as you'll know is unlikely) and maybe at college where she can make some friends

Those that have light at the end of the tunnel re lockdown are fortunate in having that and it's frustrating when they don't know how lucky. Instead I read that people want things to go back to normal ASAP, thus condemning people like my DD to more of what they 'just can't cope with anymore'.

Sorry to hear things are so tough for you too.

@Lachimolala

I read your post and felt sorry for you. Then I read Bonnevacances post and felt devastated for her. Then I read your further posts in which you responded to other posters in a self absorbed manner and totally ignored Bonnevacances

Nobody is owed a response, maybe @struggling8888 doesn’t know how to respond to an emotive post or simply just can’t right now as she’s at rock bottom. My brain sometimes just doesn’t work when I’m so low.

It’s not a competition and one person’s experience doesn’t and shouldn’t invalidate another’s.

100% agree.
When I'm struggling emotionally I'm not always in the best place to support others either. But that's ok, this is OP's thread and she's entitled to use it for her own support.

Is isn't a competition but surely people can see the vast difference in being annoyed at not being able to go to a cafe and being heartbroken at the loss of a loved one?

Everyone is entitled to their own feelings. Everyone is entitled to have a rant. It's been shit for everyone. But it's daft to suggest that there aren't varying levels of shitness....

@TemperIWasLosin

OP

I your post and felt sorry for you. Then I read Bonnevacances post and felt devastated for her. Then I read your further posts in which you responded to other posters in a self absorbed manner and totally ignored Bonnevacances.

And I stopped feeling quite so sorry for you.

Yep.

We’re not meant to be all cooped up together like this. Generally families get on much better meeting in the evening, chatting about their day at school/work/whatever.

Obv weekends and holidays are different but it’s a novelty.

My teens have been great through this, a few wobbles but I keep thinking back to when I was 18/19 and the thought of being stuck indoors with parents when you wanted to be out partying/dating/have a laugh with people your own age. Hideous.

@midgedude

People seem to not realise that if society collapsed, covid would be irrelevant, they would suffer far more than they are today

No food in the shops, no health service, no bin men, no internet

Covid brought us close to that . The french were about to close the ports last March if we didn't lockdown , something reported more abroad than here as it's a big too scary , still as a nation we need to diet

The NHs had failed to keep on top of everything, services like bins were disrupted ... but the worst case scenario was avoided

But all some people can see is I would survive covid so this is pointless for me me me . You are not an island

Quite so.

@Daisythecow34

Is isn't a competition but surely people can see the vast difference in being annoyed at not being able to go to a cafe and being heartbroken at the loss of a loved one?

Everyone is entitled to their own feelings. Everyone is entitled to have a rant. It's been shit for everyone. But it's daft to suggest that there aren't varying levels of shitness....

Varying levels of shitness along with varying levels of individual coping capacity. One person might cope just fine in OP's situation, another might be on the verge of suicide due to feeling isolated with a new baby. You don't know the mental health circumstances underpinning the OP's apparent "anger at not being able to go to a cafe". Maybe she's emotionally clinging on by a thread, hence this post? We just don't know. Hence why "varying levels of shitness" makes no sense when compared across people who have different coping resources.

@BonnesVacances, what reason does the GP give re not giving your DD the vaccine, if you don’t mind me asking.

@tillyandmilly

I am afraid there will be another one but not until later in the autumn - let’s enjoy our summer and hopefully some freedom soon!

Do you have a crystal ball or something?

@JustFrustrated

I have a theory that we start to give up, when we know we can.

People that have fought after an accident that suddenly crash or go into stock when help arrives/they go to hospital....for example. It's because subconsciously their mind knows that other people will save them/help them.

It's the same with this, the end is...just...so ....near ...our brains are giving up on keeping us going.

In the last two weeks everyone in my house has had a breakdown of some sort. Including my husband, who normally is Mr Stable...Mr laissez-faire.

Today my 8 year old sobbed for so long and so hard, I had to change my t-shirt. This girl hasn't cried more than 5 times in the last 2 years. She is the happiest human being anyone has ever met normally. But today, she couldn't, she couldn't do anything but sob into my neck, which made me sob. All because "she wants Covid to go" and she misses her friends. Her teaches.

So yes, whilst I'm very sorry for everyone who's suffered due to Covid. That doesn't stop it being fucking awful for the rest of us.

My work colleague commited suicide. Because he's single, and his parents bubbled with his sister who had a new born. He' was furloughed. For months the only interaction he had was via a computer screen. This otherwise fit and healthy young man, in his fucking 20s still, who loved life....gave in.

It's done. I'm done. My bloody 8 year old baby is done.

OP have a very un Mumsnet hug

And anyone who comes on here to to bitch that other people have it worse? Fuck off. It's not needed. And we'll be so far into a MH crisis in 6 months there won't be a recovery, if people aren't allowed to talk, aren't allowed to rail and moan and scream and cry when they need to. So yes, I'm heart sore for those directly impacted cause of Covid. But Covid doesn't stop other people having illness and tragedy and a life.

Poor little thing ❤️