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Original poster

I'm done

194 replies

nomore33 · 18/02/2021 10:51

I cannot do this anymore. I work in an industry that has been completely destroyed by Covid and me, DH and our young DC are now facing an extremely difficult future financially. I have no option really but to retrain, which could take years - and I don't know where to start or whether there will even be any jobs at the end of it.

We've lost almost everything we've worked so hard for (including our home, which is now on the market) for a virus with a death rate of 1%. It's beyond soul destroying and I'm so tired and sad. I feel completely beaten down by life and like me and my family don't matter - it's all about Covid now. Honestly, what is the point?

OP posts:
OpheliasCrayon · 18/02/2021 10:57

I'm so sorry you feel this way.
I don't have any advice but I didn't want to ignore you.

You do matter though, and your family. It sounds very tough for you right now and it's going to be unbelievably difficult for you when your careers have been ruined and you're having to move home etc ..but you do matter

lunapeace · 18/02/2021 11:00

I am so sorry that it has had to come to this. The longer this goes on, I am really wondering if something else is going on.

AllMyPrettyOnes · 18/02/2021 11:02

So sorry to hear this. This is all just totally soul destroying.

TheDogsMother · 18/02/2021 11:06

I'm so sorry OP. I don't really have any advice but I also wanted to say that you and your family really do matter. I know it doesn't feel like it right now but things will improve and then opportunities will start to appear,

Blessex · 18/02/2021 11:10

If Boris doesn’t lay out a very clear way out of this on Monday I think there will be a backlash.

noeffingwayyyy · 18/02/2021 11:12

So much sympathy for you OP Flowers. DH is in the same position - he's spent 5 years building up a niche self employed career in an industry that's been absolutely decimated and unlikely to return, all his hard work looks like it's been for nothing right now and he is totally gutted. We are so lucky that my salary just about covers our outgoings, otherwise we'd be in the same position as you, having to sell your home must be heartbreaking.

I wish I had some cheery uplifting words for you, but all I can do is empathise with how utterly shitty it is, and hope for better days for us all.

Redtulipses · 18/02/2021 11:16

Very sorry to hear this. Let's hope BJ lays out a detailed plan of easing restrictions! Now that the most vulnerable in society are protected, we can hopefully open up society again as the nhs should have increasingly more capacity.

Hairwizard · 18/02/2021 11:26

@Blessex

There fucking better be. Ive had it. Was done with this shit months ago.

Original poster
nomore33 · 18/02/2021 11:26

Thanks everyone and sorry to others who are also struggling. I’m in tears a lot and feel so stressed all the time - I’ve hardly slept in months. I can barely believe it - we weren’t exactly well off before, but things were going well and we were happy. Now everything has just evaporated.

OP posts:
SpringtimeBluebells · 18/02/2021 11:31

I hear you. I understand there are a lot of people who also feel this way.

I think it is easy for people who are doing ok financially, WFH and live a good life to forget that there are many people that have lost their businesses/jobs/homes/finances in shreds, mental health in tatters and keep on preaching and it stinks.

I really hope that the government help people like you more. I would be happy to pay more tax and others in relatively unscathed jobs should to.

I hope things improve - hang in there.

AfternoonToffee · 18/02/2021 11:35

OP I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this. You do matter, this time is shit. Just Flowers and kind words is what I can offer.

Suzi888 · 18/02/2021 11:36

I’m so sorry.

Some people seem to have made money from this whilst others lost their livelihoods entirely Sad nothing to say that can help, just sympathy.

unmumsymummy21 · 18/02/2021 11:38

I want all the people continuously campaigning for endless lock down to read your post and fucking listen. It's time for this to stop now. I'm so sorry and my thoughts are with you.

We need a clear way out now. Variants or no variants. This is the end of the line.

unmumsymummy21 · 18/02/2021 11:41

@SpringtimeBluebells you're absolutely right. People working from home are very unaffected financially by this and they just don't understand how it is for people who've lost everything because of a virus which over 90 percent of people survive.

firstimemamma · 18/02/2021 11:44

Really sorry op Thanks

WhirlingGerbil · 18/02/2021 11:46

People working from home are very unaffected financially by this and they just don't understand how it is for people who've lost everything because of a virus which over 90 percent of people survive.

I defy anyone to work from home effectively with no childcare, not to mention most industries had been hit hard by the economic fallout, decreasing families' income.

CautiousOptimist · 18/02/2021 11:48

I’m so sorry, this is awful to hear and I know many others are in similar situations.
Let’s hope for a clear way out of this in the next few weeks.
What is your industry, generally? I know there has been financial support for many but clearly there are gaps, and those gaps should be filled. It’s all so unfair after your hard work.

CautiousOptimist · 18/02/2021 11:51

@WhirlingGerbil

People working from home are very unaffected financially by this and they just don't understand how it is for people who've lost everything because of a virus which over 90 percent of people survive.

I defy anyone to work from home effectively with no childcare, not to mention most industries had been hit hard by the economic fallout, decreasing families' income.

My husband works from home effectively with no childcare, because I do the childcare as a SAHM. We’ve saved because he’s no longer commuting and we’re not going on holiday or days out. We are extremely lucky, I know this and don’t say this to gloat. I’m just pointing out the unfairness of the situation. PPs are absolutely right.
WhirlingGerbil · 18/02/2021 11:58

My husband works from home effectively with no childcare, because I do the childcare as a SAHM.

Then you have childcare. Not everyone trying to work from home has a SAH partner though, I can assure you.

LunaHeather · 18/02/2021 11:59

I am really sorry to hear this

I am/was in an industry ruined by lockdown. Would you consider doing cleaning jobs etc?

I am not spending money on training. That might be right for you, of course.

I guess you need a bit of time to process. I have had that time because I knew it was all over when lockdown was announced.

I wish you all the best Flowers

Original poster
nomore33 · 18/02/2021 12:03

Would you consider doing cleaning jobs etc?

I will have to - I’m just devastated, as I didn’t spend over a decade working my way up in my chosen career to become a cleaner on minimum wage. And who says I’ll even get a job like that? There must be hundreds and hundreds of applicants, especially in the current climate.

OP posts:
Rupertpenrysmistress · 18/02/2021 12:04

As a nurse I can suggest that as a career that is fairly bullet proof. Although I cannot underestimate how tough it has and still is. It is a hard but very rewarding job, loads of flexibility and varied roles and my team mates are amazing. We do have an amazing sense of humour and stamina it seems.

So whilst my job is tough I am forever grateful it is secure.

LunaHeather · 18/02/2021 12:06

@nomore33

Would you consider doing cleaning jobs etc?

I will have to - I’m just devastated, as I didn’t spend over a decade working my way up in my chosen career to become a cleaner on minimum wage. And who says I’ll even get a job like that? There must be hundreds and hundreds of applicants, especially in the current climate.

It's not been as bad as I thought. Please don't assume you won't be chosen.
Original poster
nomore33 · 18/02/2021 12:06

@Rupertpenrysmistress how easy is it to get into something like nursing for a washed up, middle aged mum like me?

OP posts:
OpheliasCrayon · 18/02/2021 12:11

@WhirlingGerbil

My husband works from home effectively with no childcare, because I do the childcare as a SAHM.

Then you have childcare. Not everyone trying to work from home has a SAH partner though, I can assure you.

My DH is doing the childcare & working full time at home because I'm at work as a keyworker but DDs school won't take them unless they have 2x keyworker parents. It's ridiculously tough for DH trying to do both & he is at , or probably past breaking point .. If one of you is a SAHP it's definitely not the same!