Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

I’m done. What the hell is happening!

88 replies

fireflylanegirls · 16/02/2021 18:53

I’m done. I absolutely cannot take another second if this bullshit. I just can’t :(

My son turned 1 last week and there’s still family and friends who have never met him.
Most of my close friends and family haven’t been able to see me become a mother or share my experience with me.

I’m suffering with crippling anxiety. I’m petrified to leave the house. I’m even scared to go for walks because of how busy the local parks are and it’s hard to stay 2m apart from passers by.

I’m so down and miserable. I worry every day about Covid. I can’t sleep properly because I’m so worried and now they’ve just announced another new variant.

All those hopes of these vaccines are just going
.
What’s even the point anymore.

I can’t take this 😭

OP posts:
Jay2020 · 16/02/2021 18:58

All the unmumsnettty hugs. I feel the same,I could have written this post every word, except mine has an April birthday.
This will end. All pandemics have.
Do you have a support bubble? With a baby who was under one in December, your are allowed to continue a support bubble.

whatsnewpussycat777 · 16/02/2021 18:59

Hug.

It's crap.

sproutsandparsnips · 16/02/2021 19:01

Please try and look on the bright side a bit. I know what you mean - some days it feels like there's going to be no end and our world has changed for ever. It must be 10 times harder with a baby. BUT it will get better. The vaccines WILL work to some degree and they can tweak them to improve boosters next autumn and winter to deal with whatever variant is prevalent.
Things will improve in the spring and summer.
Can I direct you to the good news thread - it is really helpful and reassuring - sorry I don't know how to link but it's called good news thread 12.

chocolateisavegetable · 16/02/2021 19:02

OP if you need someone to visit you right now - please do it. It is allowed to visit someone for an emergency and your mental health sounds very poor. Big hugs to you.

Original poster
fireflylanegirls · 16/02/2021 19:03

@Jay2020

All the unmumsnettty hugs. I feel the same,I could have written this post every word, except mine has an April birthday. This will end. All pandemics have. Do you have a support bubble? With a baby who was under one in December, your are allowed to continue a support bubble.
@Jay2020

I don’t have anyone to bubble up with 😔

OP posts:
Jay2020 · 16/02/2021 19:07

Honestly, id post on a local Facebook page and find a bubble. You need some support. I bet there would be people biting your hand off for a legal cup of tea indoors with you and your baby.

Cloudsurfing · 16/02/2021 19:07

It’s so hard with a baby. Hardly anyone has met my dd. I can’t do it anymore, we’ve made the decision to see some family.

Jay2020 · 16/02/2021 19:08

Id also second joining the good news thread

UmbilicusProfundus · 16/02/2021 19:12

I think you need to have a look at the Good News thread as there is far too much doom on here which can’t help your anxiety. And the risk of transmission outside is minimal.

Just get yourself out to the park and meet a family member of friend. Wear a mask if you are concerned. If you get within 2 metres of someone for a short while it’s not a problem (even if they were covid positive) - remember the official T&T app thing requires a close contact for 15 minutes (or similar, not exactly sure) and the presumption is you would be inside without PPE. So if you are outside with a mask and brushing past someone for 30 seconds it is not an issue. Rates are pretty low now anyway!

Original poster
fireflylanegirls · 16/02/2021 19:19

@Jay2020

Honestly, id post on a local Facebook page and find a bubble. You need some support. I bet there would be people biting your hand off for a legal cup of tea indoors with you and your baby.
@Jay2020

I’d really love to but I’m also anxious about having contact with someone.

But maybe I could do outdoor walks with someone.

OP posts:
Jay2020 · 16/02/2021 19:28

Yes, do plan a walk. Are you able to do any online baby groups?

Fernie6491 · 16/02/2021 19:33

Would it help if there was a Mumsnetter who has had the vaccine, and so is relatively 'safe' whom you could bubble with and have walks outside. They may be older as the older groups are the ones who have had their jabs. But they could be a surrogate granny for your baby. Could you say roughly where in the country you live?

Calmdown14 · 16/02/2021 19:35

OP speak to your GP about anxiety, stop reading Mumsnet, it's a mental bubble of doom, and get up early and go outside of you are worried. It will be quieter.
It is easy to work yourself up when you stay in. When you get out you realise that despite everything there is a degree of normality.
Meet a friend outside for a walk. If you feel conscious in a mask outside get a snood. They are a god send in the cold anyway! Do you have a smart watch or app on your phone to record steps? Set a daily target to force yourself out

Hardchoices · 16/02/2021 19:39

Your anxiety seems to be stopping you doing things or meeting up with people, not Covid. There had been times in the la year when we were allowed to meet outdoors with no distance limits. We could even go in gardens. Please speak to your go before your anxiety starts affecting your child.

Chocstrawb · 16/02/2021 19:40

Hi OP

I hope I don't come across as insensitive as I have good intentions but please don't worry about covid. For most younger people (childbearing age) It's no worse than a common cold. More people are asymptomatic than not.

I'm talking from experience, not to downplay others experiences.

I was scared stiff last year and sounded just like you, then I tested positive.

You must look after your MH. Get outdoors and get some fresh air.

Chocstrawb · 16/02/2021 19:42

My asthmatic partner and our two children had it too. Neither of us were bed ridden or unable to function. Had it not been for needing to isolate then we could have gone to work / done everything else.

The news and the coronavirus board is the last thing you need right now.

Chocstrawb · 16/02/2021 19:46

I forgot to add, none of us had respiratory symptoms or even a cough.

Runny nose and swollen glands for me

The kids had a temp for 12 hours or so then nothing.

Backtobacktheyfacedeachother · 16/02/2021 19:47

Off to read the good news thread as suggested above where Doomploppers will be met with scorn and derision! Grin
As pp said MN is a mental bubble of doom

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/4166141-Good-News-Part-10-the-picnic-blanket-of-hope-and-good-company

freckles20 · 16/02/2021 19:47

Oh OP it's such a hard time to be a new mum. My heart goes out to you.

You are allowed to consider your MH with regard to the rules. Can you reach out to some family and friends, tell them how you feel, ask them to visit you.

You should not have to spiral further into difficulties.

Whatnameisgood · 16/02/2021 19:47

Oh dear you poor thing. I SO sympathise about how upsetting it is that you haven’t shared your baby’s first year, and motherhood, with either those close to you or made new mum friends. It’s so so so shit. But I’m not really understanding the anxiety either. Statistically unless you have a particular vulnerability if you’re young enough to be a FTM you’re unlikely to get really ill even if you get covid. But never seeing another soul WILL definitely seriously mess with your mental health. I don’t know this good news thread but definitely please get some perspective on what it is that worries you so you can get some human contact. Good luck with it all 🌼

fantasmasgoria1 · 16/02/2021 19:51

On our drive we have seen people pulling up in cars to some houses with different family members visiting. I have read about it etc. People have had enough now. They often just dare not openly admit they are doing it but they are. If I could see my sibling who lives in a different city I would. I just dare not drive that far.

Original poster
fireflylanegirls · 16/02/2021 19:56

@Whatnameisgood

Oh dear you poor thing. I SO sympathise about how upsetting it is that you haven’t shared your baby’s first year, and motherhood, with either those close to you or made new mum friends. It’s so so so shit. But I’m not really understanding the anxiety either. Statistically unless you have a particular vulnerability if you’re young enough to be a FTM you’re unlikely to get really ill even if you get covid. But never seeing another soul WILL definitely seriously mess with your mental health. I don’t know this good news thread but definitely please get some perspective on what it is that worries you so you can get some human contact. Good luck with it all 🌼
@Whatnameisgood

Thank you ❤️

I’m not young, I’m 35.

I have a BMI of 40 which puts me at risk. Blush

OP posts:
AlohaMolly · 16/02/2021 19:59

Do you listen to podcasts OP? When I had my DS I sometimes suffered so badly with my self esteem/body image that I couldn’t get out the door. In the end, I had to buy headphones and find podcasts and just go.

He’s 4.5 now so it wasn’t covid times, but could you put your DC in a pram, put a podcast on and go? I can recommend the Luanda podcast - it’s just two women talking, they can be quite funny but it’s inconsequential stuff really. Ditto the No Holes Barred podcast.

AlohaMolly · 16/02/2021 20:00

Oh OP, I’m 33 with a BMI of 37.4. Do you have a partner? Do you have any friends or family that you can message?

twomonkeys2 · 16/02/2021 20:06

I sympathise so much OP. Congrats on your baby boy's birthday last week! Agree with everyone who says you can see someone to alleviate your anxiety. How far is your closest family or friend? Seriously I would drive to see you if you were my friend and I thought you were feeling so low. Is IS allowed under the rules. Try not to be frightened of the headlines, we will be through this soon. Hugs x