I’m done. What the hell is happening!

[fireflylanegirls]

I’m done. I absolutely cannot take another second if this bullshit. I just can’t :(

My son turned 1 last week and there’s still family and friends who have never met him.
Most of my close friends and family haven’t been able to see me become a mother or share my experience with me.

I’m suffering with crippling anxiety. I’m petrified to leave the house. I’m even scared to go for walks because of how busy the local parks are and it’s hard to stay 2m apart from passers by.

I’m so down and miserable. I worry every day about Covid. I can’t sleep properly because I’m so worried and now they’ve just announced another new variant.

All those hopes of these vaccines are just going
.
What’s even the point anymore.

I can’t take this 😭

35 is young

Oh you poor thing, it’s so hard with a baby. Like others have said please find someone to go for a walk with. It will make all the difference just to chat to someone for a bit.

@AlohaMolly

Do you listen to podcasts OP? When I had my DS I sometimes suffered so badly with my self esteem/body image that I couldn’t get out the door. In the end, I had to buy headphones and find podcasts and just go.

He’s 4.5 now so it wasn’t covid times, but could you put your DC in a pram, put a podcast on and go? I can recommend the Luanda podcast - it’s just two women talking, they can be quite funny but it’s inconsequential stuff really. Ditto the No Holes Barred podcast.

I haven’t before, but that does sound good. Thank you.

@twomonkeys2

I sympathise so much OP. Congrats on your baby boy's birthday last week! Agree with everyone who says you can see someone to alleviate your anxiety. How far is your closest family or friend? Seriously I would drive to see you if you were my friend and I thought you were feeling so low. Is IS allowed under the rules. Try not to be frightened of the headlines, we will be through this soon. Hugs x

@twomonkeys2

My mum is 30 minutes away, but she doesn’t drive so it’s always me who has to drive to her.

She also works in a huge factory and there’s always Covid outbreaks so I don’t feel comfortable being around her.

She has had Covid in the summer but I know she could still potentially get it again.

I have a group of antenatal friends but there’s 7 of us so we can’t all meet up and I’d feel awkward just asking one of them to meet.

I don’t have any other fiends that have children so they’re all at work during the week day.
My husband is at working during the day too.

I did do an online baby class in October and I got “chatting” to one of the mums in the online chat group.
She did say we should meet for a walk and a few times I’ve considered messaging her, but I’m so anxious about going out.
I went for a walk for the park last week and it was really busy! ☹️

If you’ve got Spotify -

Luanna- open.spotify.com/show/1mm2JdJFm5AK1C21YNlksX?si=xevYwqTJRaOuFVoYzmIXnA

No Holes Barred - open.spotify.com/show/5mlwm5773cZesHAV2av3kZ?si=V4Z9CDnlR7a6WluaaVlDRw

Do you like Buffy? These two lovely Irishmen do a podcast on it. Their voices are so soothing - open.spotify.com/show/0mCT9ea9Gidge39DwVF27c?si=mqtDt16BTw6mwM6hrkvv6g

If you like true crime, these women are lovely - open.spotify.com/show/0U9S5J2ltMaKdxIfLuEjzE?si=lnRZ-1anSom4PDW1z11zww

I really struggle with anxiety and listening to podcasts helps me feel not so alone and engage in something while still cleaning the kitchen or whatever.

Mine turns 1 next week, it’s been one hell of a year , so I feel for you.

Half the family haven’t met baby either, and I was very much like you. I do go out for a long walk every day and that does help. Try and hit the parks really early in the morning, give a swing a good wipe down and have some fun with baby when nobody is around :)

@Calmdown14

Its essential for your emotional well being that you have some kind of good supportive human contact whether its with its of certain family members only or combo of family family/good friends.

You need to look after your emotional health for your sake and for your baby.

Do not neglect your emotional well being.

Also find out about connecting on face time /zoom calls.

YouTube on internet is good to learn pick up new interests/hobbies.

you can learn almost anything on YouTube.

Also the internet and Facebook online events can be good to keep in the loop about different workshops/online events of your interest.

@fireflylanegirls

Oops sorry,the previous post was ment for you op,not Calmdown14.

YouTube internet are good to listen to music sounds of your youth or sounds that have feel good factor.

Also its also good to watch Youtube/internet to go on the internet to listen watch Comedy TV series,stand up comedians,and watch good dramas,films.

Just to help you to have some escapism to help you get away from the stress/miserable Lockdowns experience.

Are you due the vaccine with your BMI?

@fireflylanegirls

Meditation is beneficial in that its good effective for stress relief op.

Its free and you can do this in your comfort of your own home op.

There are also some good meditation sounds on the internet too.

Mediation only takes 10-15 mins to feel the life enhancing benefits,and its good for Clarity (clearly clearly/better too.

Take care op. xx

@fireflylanegirls is your username in honour of the TV series or the book? If you fancy a chat about books (or swop) or anything else feel free to send me a pm.

35 is very young.

@fireflylanegirls

Also op
Just listening to the radio to good music or listening to radio channels such channel 4 etc to listen to interesting more deeper stuff.
There are also radio channels that have series drama/and funny dramas too.

Radio like spotify you can listen to stuff and do things in the house and you do not feel lonely having these switched on too.

I think you can have radio on your mobile tel too.

@ineedaholidaynow

Are you due the vaccine with your BMI?

@ineedaholidaynow

I have no idea? How would I know that?

[quote SonjaMorgan]@fireflylanegirls is your username in honour of the TV series or the book? If you fancy a chat about books (or swop) or anything else feel free to send me a pm.[/quote]
@SonjaMorgan

Both, book and tv series. 😄

Thank you ❤️

[quote thosetalesofunexpected]@fireflylanegirls

Also op
Just listening to the radio to good music or listening to radio channels such channel 4 etc to listen to interesting more deeper stuff.
There are also radio channels that have series drama/and funny dramas too.

Radio like spotify you can listen to stuff and do things in the house and you do not feel lonely having these switched on too.

I think you can have radio on your mobile tel too.[/quote]
@thosetalesofunexpected

That’s a good suggestion. Thank you.

@fireflylanegirls this is the latest Government guidance for the vaccine priority list. BMI over 40 seems to fall within group 6

www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-vaccination-care-home-and-healthcare-settings-posters/covid-19-vaccination-first-phase-priority-groups

Some solidarity here. My 14 month old spend almost 10 weeks in hospital poorly only to get out to a pandemic and lockdowns. I’ve had the most utterly shit year and a bit.
This will end. Keep reaching out for support.

I think you need to address your anxiety as it seems a little unfounded. Getting out and about is one the most helpful things you can do. Did you not manage to do this and introduce your baby to people over the summer?

Go for a walk with your baby and another mum or a friend we do this everyday and it helps. Go to a coffee shop and get a takeaway or go to your local park, it doesn’t matter if it’s a bit busy if you are outside and can keep your distance. You will find it a lot less scary once you get out there. Don’t you have family to bubble with? They don’t have to be local, mine are 80 miles away but I see them once a week and it’s a nice change of scenery and means my baby gets to see grandparents.

Also OP I saw you said on a previous post that you have 7 antenatal friends. We have 8 in our NCT group and we have a walking rota so we always meet 1:1 but no one gets left out and we get to see different people and the babies all get to see each other too. Why don’t you reach out and I’m sure other mums are also itching for some face to face company!

Don't read headlines or go on this site.
Covid has such a small chance in killing you. If you get it, it will be high likely you will get flu like symptoms.
You have more chance in getting cancer. You could get ran over by a car speeding. Get a brain tumour. HIV. List is endless.
You cant live in fear.

You need to get a grip about not going for walks because you might pass within 2m of someone. If all you are doing is passing within 2m of someone outside for a matter of seconds, it would be almost impossible to catch Covid, probably no bigger a risk than opening your mail. If you are outside, you are much, much less likely to pick up anything - why do you think people are allowed to meet one other person for exercise, even under this strict lockdown?

Take a deep breath. You will be fine. Tomorrow, go for a walk with your baby. Call someone you love and tell them where you will be walking.

Wouldn't it be such a lovely coincidence if they just happened to be walking there too?

Oh, and 35 is very young x

You could always wear a mask outside if that would make you feel less anxious. Please go and walk around the park, you really will be ok as you’re outside.

There is lots of hope OP, and I think I saw they are working on a universal vaccine which some think will cope with most or all variants and may be available within a year. In the meantime the vaccines we have actually do often a high level of protection against serious illness.

35 is young and a bmi of 40 puts you at a higher risk than if you had a lower bmi, but still probably a relatively low risk. You might very well have an asymptomatic or very mild case.

I agree with the others that you should try to build your confidence with going out. There is a slight risk, but you need to balance that with the risks to your health of staying in and worrying. I think if you go out a few times and then don’t get ill you will start to feel more used to it.

I know it’s really hard. You’ve done a great job getting through this difficult time over the last year. I am so sorry it hasn’t been the year you deserved to have with everyone getting to meet your little one. I really think much better times are ahead for you.

OP, not going out for walks and exercise for a year is really bad for your health.
You must have seen in the news that people with BMI 40 and above are getting the vaccine as part of a group (6 I think?). Call your GP and ask.
The viral load of transmission if you pass someone outside must be miniscule. Get out there every day for brisk walks to improve your cardiovascular fitness. Take vitamin D if you aren't already.
You mentioned friends and family. You don't have to be in a formal bubble with them. Ask them to meet you for long walks and take away coffees.