I’m done. What the hell is happening!

[fireflylanegirls]

I’m done. I absolutely cannot take another second if this bullshit. I just can’t :(

My son turned 1 last week and there’s still family and friends who have never met him.
Most of my close friends and family haven’t been able to see me become a mother or share my experience with me.

I’m suffering with crippling anxiety. I’m petrified to leave the house. I’m even scared to go for walks because of how busy the local parks are and it’s hard to stay 2m apart from passers by.

I’m so down and miserable. I worry every day about Covid. I can’t sleep properly because I’m so worried and now they’ve just announced another new variant.

All those hopes of these vaccines are just going
.
What’s even the point anymore.

I can’t take this 😭

Hi OP. I also had a baby in lockdown 10 months now and hasn't met any family at all as all overseas, so I know a little of how you feel.

If you're on Twitter, check out Mac n Chise @sailorooscout, a molecular biologist who is very reassuring re new variants and the vaccines etc. She works for Moderna afaik developing their vaccine. Her tweets really helped me when I was starting to despair with all the variants popping up.

I will see if I can post a video by the Irish Chief Medical officer, which is also very encouraging.

Take care and don't worry!

m.facebook.com/watch/?v=885566322211296

Luke O' Neill video. Hope this link works

Go for a walk with your mum. She only lives 30 mins away and can be your support bubble. You don't have to meet indoors if you're worried about the risk, but honestly the risk of covid is small for someone of your age, and the benefit to your mental health will be huge.

@ChocOrange1

Go for a walk with your mum. She only lives 30 mins away and can be your support bubble. You don't have to meet indoors if you're worried about the risk, but honestly the risk of covid is small for someone of your age, and the benefit to your mental health will be huge.

@ChocOrange1

I know age is on my side, but my BMI isn’t.

Your mental health now is more important than anything else op. Go and see your mum.
Call your GP and tell them what you have told us, and they can offer more support and help.
You sound in a bad way, you have a young baby right now that is the priority.

My mum lives 30 mins away and I walk with her once a week. We don’t go far as she’s quite old, but we take an hour shuffling round the block and it’s a chance to catch up or vent about COVID related stuff to each other. It’s doing stuff face to face that seems to make the difference. It helps us both. We both wear masks.

Are you on a WhatsApp group with your NCT lot? Why don’t you suggest some kind of walking rotation system? It will improve your mental health and boost your fitness a bit. (That comes from someone with a BMI far higher than it should be... 🙂)

The weather will get better, and warmer, and like others said, restrict your exposure to news and SM.

This may sound weird, but Vanessa Feltz on her Radio London programme in the morning is extremely uplifting (IMO), very empathetic to her listeners, doses of common sense, interesting guests and encompassed in humour & love. Give her a listen and it will increase the 'this too will pass".... Big hugs xx

I'm so sick of this shit too. I went out in the car yesterday and my DC were horrified at how angry I was at everyone around me. I've reached a mental meltdown level.

I think you really need to get some help with your anxiety. If you dont it will likely spiral and keep you stuck wehre you are. The more you avoid things like going out, the worse your anxiety will get.
You have had such a hard year, and I can see how you have got to this point, but your anxiety is exagerating things and making it harder for you to do the things that would help you keep well.
The risks of going out for a walk, even to a busy park, even with a BMI of 40+ are absolutely tiny! There is absolutely no reason why you could not meet up with another person for a walk outside. Meeting up with your Mum, outside for example would carry such a tiny, tiny risk and yet be so good for your mental health.
I agree with others, stop reading threads on here, avoid most news - there is a lot of doom mongering out there.
Please get some help with your anxiety so that you can get things back into perspective and start doing the things that will help you fele better.

I second Vanessa Feltz being uplifting too, there is something soothing about her acknowledgement of all the stress out there, but without dragging the listener down. Very comforting and informative without being depressing. It is a hard balance to strike as a presenter I imagine!

@keyperfect

Luke O’Neill is not the Irish Chief Medical Officer. He is a pharma multi-millionaire.

You're putting too much emphasis on protecting your physical health and neglecting your mental well being. Your mental health is equally important.

It's so important to get out for some exercise, fresh air and a change of scene. As others have said, your risks are low, go at quieter times, wear a mask if you wish. Case numbers are dropping daily.

Make some changes; get out once a day, contact family, friends and open up. Tell your husband and your mum how you feel. Things will improve but it the meantime take some steps to look after your mental health.

And congratulations on becoming a new mum

I empathise. I’m a single adopter and my little boy came home in the first lockdown; he’s barely met any of my friends and family and he’s really struggled. He came from a busy foster care house to my quiet home and it’s been such a shock to him. There’s nothing like being in lockdown with a very traumatised, teething, angry and petrified toddler to make you realise who your friends are.

Things are better for me now as I actively forced myself to create a support network. I joined FB groups and talked to the same people in the playground every day and made friends. It wasn’t easy. I’m terrified of catching covid because if I did get so unwell I couldn’t look after my son he’d end up in emergency foster care as he’s still the legal responsibility of the local authority and he wouldn’t be allowed to stay overnight with people who hadn’t been vetted by them (I’m pre adoption order). This would be horrendous for him and our relationship, that said, he only knows a couple of my friends well enough to be left with anyway.

You have to weigh up the risks. The numbers are relatively low now so I’d suggest trying to help yourself for the sake of your mental health. This will drag on for longer and you have to find a way out of this hole somehow. It’s not easy. It’s very very hard. You’ve been amazing to get through this so far, to be honest. I don’t know if I’d have been able to in a similar situation.

Age is on your side but you need extra vitamin D. I'd also encourage some magnesium - not magnesium oxide - as it's important in reducing anxiety.

Do you have ff2/PP3 masks? If you are wearing one of those on an outdoor walk you're really unlikely to pick up anything even if people get closer than 2 metres. If you go out early or late you'll see fewer people.

Is like to listen to vanessa feltz , but I dont have a radio. I wonder if I can hear it on the tv,

Sorry, @nousernamesleftatall my apologies. I was rushing at the time! Luke O Neill is not Ireland's CMO. He is professor of biochemistry in the School of Biochemistry and Immunology at Trinity College Dublin.

Will you meet your mum for a walk today OP?

@ssd

Is like to listen to vanessa feltz , but I dont have a radio. I wonder if I can hear it on the tv,

You should be able to do it on your phone

@fireflylanegirls

Where are all your family & friends that haven't met your DS yet?

Why can't you meet them to go for walks?

It'll soon be spring & much nicer to be outside & meeting up with people where you can sit on a park bench.

Email your GP WITH YOUR HEIGHT, weight, BMI & ask if you are in G6 for a vaccination.

@DianaT1969

Will you meet your mum for a walk today OP?

@DianaT1969

My mum is at work during the day

[quote WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants]@fireflylanegirls

Where are all your family & friends that haven't met your DS yet?

Why can't you meet them to go for walks?

It'll soon be spring & much nicer to be outside & meeting up with people where you can sit on a park bench.

Email your GP WITH YOUR HEIGHT, weight, BMI & ask if you are in G6 for a vaccination.[/quote]
@WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants

Most of my friends don’t have children so they’re all at work and can’t meet up during the day.

I haven’t felt comfortable meeting them for walks.

The family that haven’t met my son are 100 miles away so we’ve never been to visit. I’m sure in the summer we could’ve done, but anxiety has prevented me doing that.

I’ve done plenty with my husband in the summer, zoos, parks, picnics etc.

I did meet one friend for a walk in the summer when she had the week off work.

Have you been honest with your dh and your mum about how you're feeling? It will really help to share your anxieties.

I'm really sorry to sound bossy but you need to force yourself outside, even if it's just for a ten minute stroll.

Could you do an early evening walk with your husband and the buggy or arrange to meet your mum on her day off. I know the weather's awful but staying cooped up indoors with your inner thoughts is feeding your anxiety and depression. Getting outside and doing some exercise will also help you sleep.

Aim to make one change a day, small steps to improve your mood.

@SmileyClare

Have you been honest with your dh and your mum about how you're feeling? It will really help to share your anxieties.

I'm really sorry to sound bossy but you need to force yourself outside, even if it's just for a ten minute stroll.

Could you do an early evening walk with your husband and the buggy or arrange to meet your mum on her day off. I know the weather's awful but staying cooped up indoors with your inner thoughts is feeding your anxiety and depression. Getting outside and doing some exercise will also help you sleep.

Aim to make one change a day, small steps to improve your mood.

@SmileyClare

That’s okay, I think I need someone to be bossy right now!

I have told them how I’m feeling, yes.

It’s caused a lot of strain on my marriage because I’m always so distracted with thoughts of my health and having Covid

My mum doesn’t have a day off, she works full time.
She finishes at 3.30pm and we have met a few times when she’s finished work, but she says is a bit of rubbish time as she likes to get home and sort out dinner and relax after work.
She’s not particularly supportive to be honest.

We’ve arranged a weekend before but I mainly do things with my husband on a weekend.

I’m really disappointed with my NCT group as I thought we would all be eager to try and get out together with the babies, but we’ve only all been out together once in the summer.

I don’t know any other mums. I do feel quite lonely and I think going for a walk by myself isn’t always fun.
I know I’m with my son but he tends to nap in the pram.

Your mum must start early if she finishes at 3.30, no wonder she just wants to get home. And you saying you do stuff with dh at weekends sort of sounds pretty inflexible to me. Maybe your mum feels brushed off?

@ssd

Your mum must start early if she finishes at 3.30, no wonder she just wants to get home. And you saying you do stuff with dh at weekends sort of sounds pretty inflexible to me. Maybe your mum feels brushed off?

@ssd

Yeah she starts at 7.30

No I don’t think she feels brushed off, she goes for walks / does her shopping with her husband on a weekend so I doubt she’d want to do weekends either.
The few times I’ve suggested it she’s made me feel a bit like it’s an inconvenience.