It's shit for everyone. Please stop competitive hardship

[MsMarch]

Argh. I'm so tired of this.

I know parents who are at home, working and homeschooling and really struggling.

I know parents with children at school because they are key workers who are stressed and struggling because they can't get wrap around care, they're at risk every time they go to work etc.

Other families are at home, not working but worrying about whether they're going to be able to pay the bills long term.

Old people are lonely.

Small children are lonely and not getting opportunities to socialise and learn.

High school children are getting hugely behind - this is a disaster.

KS1 children are missing the vast bulk of their early years education and getting hugely behind, this is a disaster.

Children with any kind of additional needs are getting less support and falling further behind. This is a disaster.

People living alone are totally isolated and incredibly lonely.

People with families are struggling with being cooped up in their house/flat etc with no respite.

the list goes on.

I can have my own struggle and feel really stressed about it but that doesn't mean I think my issues are more important than the person next door who has different struggles and stresses. I am so tired of this inability of so many of us to see this. One woman left our class WhatsApp group in a huff because 1/3 of the children are back at school and she is so angry about it and thinks the parents are taking the piss. I mean, FFS.

I don't think it is the same shit for everyone though. It is bad for everyone but worse for some. I'm at home in a big house with enough room for everyone with a husband I get on really well with. We have a garden so in the summer could have people over sitting 6 feet apart. Our kids have it tough - no graduation, disruption of their university years but they are coping with remote and their education isn't going to be affected in the longterm. Yeah, ds is finding it difficult to get started in the workplace but that will end. We haven't lost jobs or money.

I complain to dh about boredom, not being able to go out, go on holidays etc I worry about the kids but I really don't think my situation is the same as my friend in her 70s who lives on her own in an apartment without a balcony. She had just retired after a lifetime of hard work and minding her mother - finally started travelling a bit and it all ended. I don't think it is the same as my cousin and her husband who lost their hotel/catering jobs a year ago. I don't think it is the same as MIL who lives alone and is desperately lonely. I can't even imagine what it would be like to see your children missing an education or trying to cope with working from home and homeschooling. Any anyone with MH or SEN ... must be unbelievably hard. If they want to claim it is harder on them than me, I have no objection.

The way I see it is that as fa family we are much luckier than some but unluckier than others. What I don't like is people (who have moaned to me about their circumstances) telling me we're all in the same boat! We're not.

@TheAvenger

but it's not shit for everyone and it is a lot shittier for some than for others. It's not a level playing field at all..

Yeah. There was a poster on here yesterday I think that started a thread about how covid has made her life better, she was loving life in her new rural house.

YABU. Our neighbours have it much worse than us. They both work in hospitality, had just started a new business into which they'd invested most of their savings and are suffering real financial hardship at the moment while trying to homeschool three primary age children. So the mum can't even sensibly get a job because, let's face it, who's going to employ someone with those sorts of home commitments at the moment.

It's just averagely shit for us and our DS can still go to nursery. So they win the competitive misery competition hands down.

Yeah. There was a poster on here yesterday I think that started a thread about how covid has made her life better, she was loving life in her new rural house.

That’s true and she was (somewhat unfairly IMO) ripped to shreds for being insensitive. In fairness, the pandemic has made many people rethink their priorities and some people’s lives have improved though. It’s the same with everyday life - some people have bad luck, others win the lottery. Just because someone is doing well or better than you isn’t a reflection on you. Too many people spend too much time comparing their lives with others’.

I completely agree that competitive hardship helps no one. I find it particularly unfair to say that younger people are suffering all this hardship for the older people. Everyone is affected, and not in a good way.

I don't live in the UK and here we have not enough vaccine. It is scary and hard. Whenever I read a moan that we are sacrificing for our elders, I remind myself of how our indigenous people respect and value their elders.

No one is disposable. I know some will say this is trite, but we have no choice really but to pull together.

I think that division amongst us plebs is exactly what those in Government want as it stops us being as angry as we should be at their piss poor and adequate management of this nightmare.

Starcat - spot on.

Starcat - spot on
Thank you

I disagree for some it is worse specially those in health and social care dealing with covid patients directly.
I have been signed off with depression and stress from my doctor and now on ssp losing income because I broken down at work when a resident died of covid who I was a key worker for. I have seen quite a few deaths now and it's broke me. A lot. I'm not going back to my work till I'm better whenever that will be.
So I've lost income now and now have mental health problems.

I think those caring for disabled children without any help and support in the lockdown, many still trying to work and make an income are suffering much more than me, but we are all suffering one way or another and showing empathy and understanding about everyone's personal story and struggles is the right way to go.

@BooFuckingHoo2

Obviously I appreciate there are exceptions/specific circumstances, but I stand by my comment that single people living alone have it particularly hard at the moment.

I’m generalising here but most single people I know revolved their lives around going to work (as in going to the office), visiting family and spending time with friends/going out etc. They have lost all of that as a result of the pandemic. I personally have been unable to do almost all of the previous things I used to enjoy and it can be cripplingly lonely.

I have friends with children and whilst they do miss going out, going to work etc. their previous lives revolved around their partners and children and they still have that. I don’t doubt being with kids 24/7 is hard, but without sounding twee I’m sure in most cases there’s still plenty to find joy in having a partner and kids.

I haven’t mentioned job loss etc. because I think that applies equally across both groups.

Absolutely agree.

And the key thing that is really the worst is the long term loss. It's one thing looking at daily life now, but for single childless people missing the chance to meet someone and have a family is a permanent and devastating loss.

Whilst agreeing with the sentiment of the OP, there are some who are not all in the same boat. Government ministers who have awarded contracts to friends, for example.