Furlough / working backside off

[Mingkong]

Am I the only person who is hacked off seeing people frolicking about whilst on furlough, while my husband works 12 hour days ? Also we have stuck to the rules throughout. I appreciate that he is lucky to have a job but he is worn out , not a break from the screen, has had shingles and eczema over the lockdown months, but still carries on without complaint. Meanwhile others ( some through no fault of their own ) are furloughed and having a jolly old time . And who will have to pay the furlough money ??? Us !! Makes me bloody angry.

No frolicking here. Second time I have been furloughed. I am again losing 20% per month. I am low income anyway, so getting really desperate now how I will manage if this goes on much longer. I certainly can't live the high life due to not working at the moment, I have no money to do anything.

What you fail to mention is that some people on furlough won't have jobs to go back to.
I'm furloughed and believe me I would rather be back in work, I'm so worried I won't have a job at the end of it, I'm hardly having a great time.

Going to leave this thread as not good for my mental health. Should never have posted !!

this is the trouble with lacking empathy, it comes as a massive shock when other people have different views informed by their different life experiences.

I was furloughed all last summer. I really enjoyed the break and got lucky with the fab weather. I was made redundant in the end but I just got a new job.

I work on a ward and have worked throughout having some exposure to covid too. But I don’t begrudge those that are furloughed tbh. It looked nice at the start: nice weather etc. But I’d hate to be sat at home with nothing to do, no one to see in the middle of winter. I keep active, see and talk to people all day and have a full wage.

Those that are furloughed haven’t chosen to be and are probably at higher risk of losing their jobs after the pandemic. They are probably anxious and would rather be in work after possibly a year out depending on their roles. It’s not so cut and dry

I had six weeks of furlough last summer and it was horrible. I was convinced I was headed for redundancy but luckily not. I returned to work at which point I was expected to catch up with all my work that hadn’t been covered whilst I was off (all of which was now massively urgent) plus covering the gaps for a colleague still on furlough. Not remotely a jolly old time.

@Mingkong

Yes I do work , I have an online business . Also homeschooling two kids. Thanks for your responses. I can see that I am now perceived as a horrible person . Going to leave this thread as not good for my mental health. Should never have posted !!

It's a bit rich to post a goady post then huff off citing it being bad for your mental health. Both me and my partner are working our arses off. He is doing 11 hour days though. I'd rather people were on furlough than millions of job losses. Even if it does feel a bit unfair.

Equally loads of people on furlough are in industries that will take ages to recover such as hospitality and aviation. So I'd rather work throughout than be in a precarious industry.

I do feel a little like that about a friend who has been furloughed now for almost a year together with her husband. They are both at the pay level where they are getting close / almost the max amount (although it is of course 20% less than the usual pay), and I am a bit sick of hearing how fantastic the time has been as they had such a great year, started a new promising business, renovated their investment property to a fantastic standard, saved a lot of money due to no childcare fees, the kids have progressed so well in their education with 1 to 1 attention, they have reconnected as a family on a completely new level... Almost to the point where I don't answer her calls when she is bored and wants to discuss for hours what should she buy for the front room or plans for the garden design.

There's a selection bias, of course, because I don't hear from friends working long hours and homeschooling in parallel, as they are exhausted and have better things to do in their spare time.

My Fiance was furloughed admittedly not for absolutely ages but we certainly did not frolic around etc. We went for walks because I have a serious and complex mental illness and it is important for me to get fresh air etc. But we have followed all rules etc people can't help being put on furlough, my Fiance didn't really want to be and most other people don't either.

Don't feel awful OP I think everyone is pissed off & you'd be a saint not to be. People on furlough are probably fed up for other reasons but yes its hard when you are working your socks off and cajoling children to do schoolwork they don't want to complete at the same time. Why wouldn't being paid and not working sometimes seem like an attractive proposition in comparison ? (It's quite possible to also understand that furlough can be a shit position to be in too).

We have been working too 12+ hours a day (DP stares at his screen from 7am - 9pm most days at the moment) and I have friends on furlough breaking the rules by letting others in their homes for gatherings and such - very frustrating to see.

BUT they really are the minority. I also have friends that are on furlough who have been desperately anxious/stressed and depressed because they are so worried about the stability of their jobs. They really didn’t choose to be in this situation and I feel so bad for them. It makes me really, really grateful to have my job to go to everyday still. Definitely the majority of people I know on furlough are really struggling with their MH and would much rather be at work.

This isn’t an easy time for anyone - whether you are working, working longer hours, not working currently, furloughed, having to home school etc. It’s easy to look around and think others have got it better but everyone is struggling in their own way.

My sister has been furloughed since March last year. Her mental health is shot at and she is at risk of redundancy. I would hate to be furloughed.

I think how you feel is ok FOR YOU. Not everyone feels the same. I'm not going to deny you the way you feel though.

I think the best way to deal with it is to acknowledge how you are feeling, as you have done here. Get it out in the open. Air the moan. Speak the grievance. Get it from unspoken to spoken.

The next step is the most important. Once the feeling is aired you should (must?) realise that the reality is very different and that you can't possibly know every individual circumstance.

There may be some people safe, home, with enough income and not worried about their job in the future but I imagine that is a tiny minority.

Now you have to shake it off/give yourself a talking to and move on.

Furlough wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t feel so at the mercy of Rishi’s kindness. Really hoping it will be extended again as I can’t see my industry (hospitality) being allowed to open in any meaningful way in May.

So I’m spending my days trying to generate some income from a side hustle that has never previously turned a profit in a cloud of anxiety because my actual career that I’ve poured my life into may never recover from all this all while homeschooling my 6 and 4 year olds.

But obviously in my downtime I frolic. Who wouldn’t?

What would be preferable OP?

Your husband also on furlough and worried about losing his job?

No furlough and everyone on job seekers instead?

Those on furlough only allowed to be miserable and depressed, rather than making the best of a bad situation (not sure how you’d police that).

Which?

I'm grateful our business is able to keep running and we can provide a secure home. Yes, both of us are running close to empty but we sympathise with each other and don't worry about other people's lives.

Obviously we do have the off fantasy of what we'd it sat on our arses but it's not worth getting upset over.

Oh fuck off.

I'm physically going out to work in a factory to make sure people get all their unnecessary online orders and I do not care who is on furlough. I'd rather have full pay and be working.

Ive worked through out Covid & admittedly felt a bit jealous the first lockdown, but this didn't last long. I'm just so grateful that I have a job. I work in finance & am now seeing people who have been furloughed, had their hours cut & been furloughed again on reduced hours. These people aren't enjoying this time off, they're worried about putting food on the tables & paying essential bills. It's upsetting to see. I would hate to be in this situation, not knowing what the future holds.

@Imissthegym

One of my best friends is furloughed, no chance of her losing her job and she has has had a whale of a time. Every lovely family walk and activity documented on SM. DH and I both FT WFH homeschooling plus a toddler. It nearly killed us and her SM posts made me cry on more than one occasion.

I resent her and her lack of empathy and our relationship will never be what it was. It’s no ones fault but it’s crap.

Documenting a family walk? Outrageous You seem resentful that she has no chance of losing her job. A great friend you are.

Yes OP, posting this was wrong.

I'm furloughed, flexi at the moment, but my industry is on its knees and I'd far rather be at work rather than worrying whether I'll actually have a job to go back to at some point. Furlough 'ain't fun. It's boring, I'm on 80% wages in a not particularly well paid job in the first place and this whole bloody thing is dragging on and on. It's shit and people on furlough could do without the likes of you insinuating that furlough is a bed of roses because it absolutely is not.

@TheKeatingFive

What would be preferable OP?

Your husband also on furlough and worried about losing his job?

No furlough and everyone on job seekers instead?

Those on furlough only allowed to be miserable and depressed, rather than making the best of a bad situation (not sure how you’d police that).

Which?

I think the op and her few supporters would like some sort of gulag set up where workers from close contact industries break rocks, dig ditches and mine coal for subsistence rations

I don’t think anyone is having a jolly old time at the moment

@MotherExtraordinaire
Just WOW - really - have you ever had to live of benefits!!!!!

I was furloughed - massive drop in salary, did I try and get another job at that time even though it was allowed, no, as it felt wrong to the thousands that were out of work surviving on our wonderful benefit system. I’ve now been made redundant! My company tried to hang on to us as long as possible but our industry is just not opening up and we have all been made redundant and the company has gone under. I Am applying for jobs daily to no avail. I really feel I am the wrong side of 50. Far to many younger people out there..
For all of you left on Furlough I really hope the government opens up soon so that you can all get back to what you would rather be doing.

You just wanted to have a bitch about furlough people and when pp quite rightly gave you some proper perspective you couldn't take it.

I was furloughed for four months last year and (very, very thankfully) got my job back at the end of it. Others in my company lost their jobs. On furlough yes you have spare time but it's more of a feeling that you're left on the bench, not feeling needed and not knowing how long it will last. It was not a very nice feeling at all, and I felt jealous of colleagues who were still working as it felt they were way more valued than I was. I still feel that way to be honest. My job isn't exactly as it was, as some of my tasks have been passed on to others and I haven't got them back.

By the way those of us on furlough DO pay our taxes - our taxes came out of the 80% salary, same as normal. So WE'RE paying for furlough too!

Yanbu at all.

Personally, I cannot believe that we're still continuing with this furlough crap that is going to be a noose around our necks for decades. This frolicking will cost us dearly. And no doubt these will be the same people who will bemoan about the repercussions in the decades to come, yet will be the only people who benefitted.
We have a benefits system and that should have been used if an employer couldn't afford to keep their staff on.

A year of pissing around at 80 or 100 %of their full pay!

See I don't get why calling it furlough is such a massive issue, but calling it benefits isn't.
Only I suspect it would be and the resentment and judgement would still be there.
My original industry was closed by the government. It was illegal for them to trade, that meant they had no income, and couldn't pay their staff.
Huge amounts of people out of work and claiming benefits without any hope of a job to return to, or huge amounts of people on furlough who at least have the chance of a job to return to.
What a choice.
And it's not even a choice that was given to most people on furlough, it was thrust upon them. There's nothing quite like being told by the government that your job is not important enough to actually do, that it's not legal for you to do it, you are legally prevented from doing your job, the ability to provide for your family removed without warning, and some people also think that there shouldn't be any support for people either.
Do you think that these people becoming destitute was an acceptable price to pay for this? And that somehow that wouldn't have needed paying for too?
While people like you and I continue to work and earn as before?
As long as it doesn't affect you too much then all's good?!