Furlough / working backside off

[Mingkong]

Am I the only person who is hacked off seeing people frolicking about whilst on furlough, while my husband works 12 hour days ? Also we have stuck to the rules throughout. I appreciate that he is lucky to have a job but he is worn out , not a break from the screen, has had shingles and eczema over the lockdown months, but still carries on without complaint. Meanwhile others ( some through no fault of their own ) are furloughed and having a jolly old time . And who will have to pay the furlough money ??? Us !! Makes me bloody angry.

@Imissthegym

One of my best friends is furloughed, no chance of her losing her job and she has has had a whale of a time. Every lovely family walk and activity documented on SM. DH and I both FT WFH homeschooling plus a toddler. It nearly killed us and her SM posts made me cry on more than one occasion.

I resent her and her lack of empathy and our relationship will never be what it was. It’s no ones fault but it’s crap.

Doesn’t sound like she’s the one lacking empathy.

Imagine taking other people making the best of a shit situation as a personal slight. I cannot imagine being this self involved.

Now we’re not only frolicking but pissing around too! What a nasty little comment @MotherExtraordinaire

@MiddleParking

I clearly stated she is not at threat of redundancy and she would admits she is enjoying being furloughed. I understand that’s not the case for the majority.

@Imissthegym

One of my best friends is furloughed, no chance of her losing her job and she has has had a whale of a time. Every lovely family walk and activity documented on SM. DH and I both FT WFH homeschooling plus a toddler. It nearly killed us and her SM posts made me cry on more than one occasion.

I resent her and her lack of empathy and our relationship will never be what it was. It’s no ones fault but it’s crap.

So she can't put anything on social media?

My husband is on furlough because the very successful pub he runs is closed - would you like him to go in & pour pretend pints all day?

@Imissthegym but it’s not her fault she’s been furloughed and if it upsets you so much then unfollow her!

A year of pissing around at 80 or 100 %of their full pay!

They're not allowed to work. What would you like them to do? @MotherExtraordinaire

I don't know what you wanted from this thread. Most people who are on furlough absolutely hate it and it certainly was not their choice to make but their employers. There are whole industries closed - what are these people and companies supposed to do? They are viable businesses that have been forced to close up but are still burning through money at a phenomenal rate every month. They will be viable again once allowed to open.

I am so very weary of hearing everybody site their "mental health" as you have done. Basically you didn't get the response you wanted from starting yet another thread on this issue and then flounce off throwing the mental health card around. Well do remember you actually started this thread in the first place and are both lucky enough to still have jobs and are not on furlough.

[quote Imissthegym]@MiddleParking

I clearly stated she is not at threat of redundancy and she would admits she is enjoying being furloughed. I understand that’s not the case for the majority.[/quote]
Why shouldn’t she? It’s not related to your circumstances at all. If you think empathy means the world revolving around you I don’t know what to tell you.

Do people really think that happiness is a pie and if someone else has some, there’s less for them? My dsis is loving furlough and fucking good on her. Your life is your life and your circumstances are what they are and won’t change whether mrs down the road is sat there pissing her juicy couture tracksuit laughing at all her incredible luck, or crying all the water out of her body with distress and shame. Sweep your own side of the street.

I was furloughed last time, and also made redundant at the end of summer. I was on 80% and struggled financially. I wasn’t allowed to look for another job, so yes, I did sit out in the garden when the weather was nice. I went walking and running. I did some baking.
It was really hard to read threads on here about furloughed ‘taking the piss’ and ‘well they’ll be first in the queue for redundancy’.

I’m now fully employed and count my blessings every day that I’ve got something to get up in the morning for.

Honestly, you’ve no idea how draining and demoralising it is.

I can only imagine that those who are jealous/envious would be the same in any aspect of a person’s life! Jealous of a new car they’ve bought, holidays they’ve been on etc, it must just be the way you are programmed!

Will you be equally jealous/envious when those of us who are currently furloughed have no job to go back to or will you be secretly glad, wishing us hardship and even more stress? I’m thinking so!

I was furloughed for lockdown 1 and I am working this lockdown. I’d much rather work. Furlough is a ground hog day of boring nothingness. If you stick to the rules and don’t see people then it’s no holiday being off. But I love my job so that might have something to do with it.

I'm on furlough, not much frolicking going on but during the summer there was plenty of sunbathing and glasses of wine in the garden. Not that I work days anyway so even if I was at work I would be sunbathing minus the wine.

Now it's winter I'm even more fed up, I hate the cold so I'm spending more time inside which isn't doing me any good. There is nothing to do, I'm stuck with my 5 year old all day and craving some proper adult company.

I am desperate to go back to work, the first couple of weeks were like a paid holiday but this has dragged on so long now and the longer it goes on the higher the chance of me losing my job so I always have that worry in the back of my mind.

We didn't ask to be furloughed, we can't refuse the pay because we need it to pay our bills. If we aren't allowed to go to work why shouldn't we at least have some fun. Should we just sit around staring at the walls all day?

I was furloughed last year with the threat of redundancy, and was thankfully put back on a very stressful project during 80+ hour weeks.
Between the two I absolutely preferred being able to work, the fear of not working or not having any / enough income when you have dependants is just awful. It really got to me.
Yes, I made the most of furlough - walks, baking etc because it would be silly to sit at home and wallow - but it's very difficult to enjoy as you watch your savings deplete and not be able to find any other work. Most people I know furloughed would much rather work - or at least the people I've spoken to.
I'm sure there's people that are genuinely enjoying it, and I'm guessing they have a good support system in place and weren't terribly dependant on the income.

What Madame Butterface said.

I've been working full time throughout. It's hard but preferable to being furloughed.

@Imissthegym

One of my best friends is furloughed, no chance of her losing her job and she has has had a whale of a time. Every lovely family walk and activity documented on SM. DH and I both FT WFH homeschooling plus a toddler. It nearly killed us and her SM posts made me cry on more than one occasion.

I resent her and her lack of empathy and our relationship will never be what it was. It’s no ones fault but it’s crap.

Honestly this is so ridiculous. Should I cry every time someone on mat leave from work posts lovely pics of themselves in the park whilst getting paid? All of my team have been on paid mat leave at least once in the last 5 years apart from me but you know what I'm not so childish to get so tangled up in feeling jealous and bitter about it.

Oh bore off with the furlough anger .
Listen it’s a good thing your dh is busy it is not a furlough workers fault .
Most are furlough because there is no work . Shops/restaurants/hairdressers / gyms are shut and that has a impact of the suppliers what part of that do you not understand.
My job included I don’t work in hospitality but my job impacts it open . And yes there is some work due to takeaway/online it’s not the same as fully open . I’m flexi furlough I logged on today and not much to do so I’ve finished early not my fault there is not much work . So on my time off I’m trying to keep busy and positive, I’m sorry I’m not miserable and crying everyday but I’m hardly having a wonderful time . In fact I’d prefer to be working as the days go much quicker .I’m sorry that your dh is stressed but when everything back open I’ll be back to being stressed again as believe me it’s a busy industry normally.
I honestly do not get the jealousy of the furlough if it upsets you so much change a job in the hospitality industry so you can be furlough, yeah thought not .

My son's partner is currently on furlough .

She has a contract for 20 hours a week minimum wage but normally is asked to work extra so generally does around 30 hours per week . Her furlough is based on the 20 hours so would be struggling for money if we weren't able to help out.

The worst part for her though is for someone who's mental health isn't good anyway she is just sat in the house by herself every day .

Personally I am so grateful to be working . Life is boring enough as it is with the bad weather , not being able to go anywhere , nothing open but to add into that sitting by yourself for 10 hours a day whilst your partner's out, or worse, someone who is furloughed but lives alone, no thank you .

I’m on furlough, right now I’d love to be at work, I’d love to even volunteer at a vaccine centre, however with DH working and 2 primary school children and one high school all working at home needing my help it’s impossible, I’m getting to the stage now I’d rather gorge my eyes out than sit here day in day out

@Mingkong

Yes I do work , I have an online business . Also homeschooling two kids. Thanks for your responses. I can see that I am now perceived as a horrible person . Going to leave this thread as not good for my mental health. Should never have posted !!

Yeah now you’ve had your rant about life’s not fair. And starting yet another thread on furlough bashing . A lot of people are suffering mental health problems too furlough and not furlough but you make out the furlough are the enemy here .

My husband has worked throughout as an essential worker. I am a keyworker and worked most of it but not the summer holidays as my dad had a stroke and my mum needed me and I got a new role at work.

However Dh is off sick after turning yellow. He's never been off sick for this long, never had to spend so much time in hospital and constant appointments as well procedures that he must attend alone. He turned yellow 8 weeks after my dad did who passed away 20 days later.

I'm just grateful Dh and I have jobs and supportive employers.

Everyone has it differently and everyone copes differently. I know people who were furloughed who relied on their overtime to make ends meet. I've watched their mental health detoriate with worry over money. While watching others get a decent break for once in their lives.

Furlough is a controversial subject so people will be edgy. Those who didn't get furloughed. Those who did. Those who didn't want furloughed. Those who did want furloughed.

@Mingkong

Yes I do work , I have an online business . Also homeschooling two kids. Thanks for your responses. I can see that I am now perceived as a horrible person . Going to leave this thread as not good for my mental health. Should never have posted !!

No, you probably shouldn't have if you weren't prepared to get responses that you don't like. I was furloughed. I didnt have any choice about that. Great at first, who wouldn't like to be paid to stay at home? Worth pointing out that it wasn't good for my mental health wondering whether I'd actually have a job to go back to after the first 6 months of furlough and hearing nothing from my employer ... possibly worse than getting responses that I dont like to goady posts, but there you go.

My partner was furloughed and made redundant. He found another job and has been furloughed again. No frolicking around as we are on 20% less wage and the fear of redundancy again.