Furlough / working backside off

[Mingkong]

Am I the only person who is hacked off seeing people frolicking about whilst on furlough, while my husband works 12 hour days ? Also we have stuck to the rules throughout. I appreciate that he is lucky to have a job but he is worn out , not a break from the screen, has had shingles and eczema over the lockdown months, but still carries on without complaint. Meanwhile others ( some through no fault of their own ) are furloughed and having a jolly old time . And who will have to pay the furlough money ??? Us !! Makes me bloody angry.

I am WFH and husband working in the office (long hours) and I'm so grateful we both still have jobs. We also have a 1 year old and a 2 year old who thankfully this time can stay in nursery but I'm definitely not feeling any envy for those on furlough. Out of the people I know who have been furloughed a significant amount have now lost their jobs, and others are worried about their future, stuck at home with nothing to do and not having a great time at all, I'm glad they are able to get some support financially and I absolutely would not switch places.

I've both been working throughout, plus additional unpaid time to cover other people furloughed / made redundant although their work still needed doing. Forced to take holiday last year in November/December as not allowed to take earlier, but also late company decision to not allow carry over (but called from work constantly as they'd forced this on everyone at short notice and not left enough cover, so worked every day of my leave anyway). This year, no choice on holidays either as they'd asked senior people paid too much for furlough to take a pay cut in lieu of extra holiday this year - which means they have about 10 weeks extra (which they are also allowed to carry over to next year). As they get first choice of dates, we already know there will be no school holiday time off for the rest of us this year as it was all pre-allocated to them before holiday booking opened. Probably the same next year. Maybe longer, depending upon how long this goes on for. So that's no holiday 2020, 2021, 2022, early 2023 (GCSE year for ds2) - earliest we can hope for is maybe a slim chance in the gap between end of GCSEs and school breaking up in 2023. That does feel an awfully long way away. The impacts on us of other people being furloughed / offered 20% pay cuts in return for an extra day of holiday for each week of that, are going to go on for years, short of changing jobs, which isn't easy in the current environment.

No, you shouldn’t have posted this. It’s nasty. I’ve been on furlough for months whilst my DH works 12 hour days like yours. One day I’m feeling so fucking guilty that he’s working whilst I’m doing nothing, really beating myself up about it and telling myself I’m lazy and useless. The next day I feel resentful that at least he gets to leave the house, feel really jealous, so depressed and isolated. So forgive me if I try and do some things to make myself happy and have a ‘jolly’ time!

YABU - frolicking!? Nope! Worried for my future, yes!

This is the longest period I haven’t worked (apart from maternity leave) since I left school in 1986 if it makes you feel any better, never been out of work. I was gutted to be furloughed again! I don’t want to be furloughed, totally out of my control, so what would you like me to do?

Oh and not forgetting the drop in wages!

I’ve been furloughed and I think it’s only going to end in redundancy. I’ve two children at home, it’s sub zero outside and I’m being rejected from jobs applications left right and centre.
I’d love to know how all these furloughed people are have a great old time in winter under lockdown. It was different in summer when we naively thought we’d be back to normal come 2021 and the days were long and warm. We’re now just desperately worried about the future.

@Mingkong

Yes I do work , I have an online business . Also homeschooling two kids. Thanks for your responses. I can see that I am now perceived as a horrible person . Going to leave this thread as not good for my mental health. Should never have posted !!

Furlough isn't exactly a boost to people's mental health either. No, you shouldn't have posted it.

I don't think you're a horrible person, I think you are frustrated by your situation and are only seeing people who are furloughed having fun.
Some are on minimum wages and struggle on 100%, any dip has an impact. Some get by on tips. Many of the people I know who were furloughed last year have been made redundant and I'm sure more this time around.
It's hard for many people; the grass isn't always greener.

The OP isn’t the first to comment on those furloughed and she won’t be the last.

I’ve read unreasonable comments about those furloughed, throughout.

I actually wept when I was furloughed again in November! Does that make those who envy us, feel better?

It's not fun being furloughed it's worrying. My industry will never be the same again and I seriously worry about the future. Posts like this incite hate and jealousy for no reason. I would have never chosen this. Most ppl I know are struggling massively because of this. No one will come out of this untouched.

Also, in response to who's paying for furlough? We ALL are. All of those people who are on Furlough (me included) are still paying contributions/taxes as are our companies. Which is why businesses are going under and having to make staff redundant. Fixed costs, contributions, taxes etc still need to be paid whether or not the business is taking any money. The government grants hardly touch the sides for a lot of companies.

Be grateful for what you have because you could have a lot less.

It’s probably best if you step away from the keyboard before hitting the post button in future.

I think you're being massively unfair tbh.

My DH is still working. He has a high workload with masses of responsibility and hasn't stopped during lockdown. He is also knackered. He works at work and from home which isn't easy with 4 kids at home all day. We have also followed the rules religiously and haven't been anywhere much at all for the last year. He is so grateful that he still has his job though.

DH's brother has been furloughed for the last year. They are struggling with finances, he is depressed and on antidepressants and has no idea if he will be going back or end up being made redundant.

Yes of course he goes out with his family on a walk or plays with the snow with his kids and sometimes puts it on Facebook, but that doesn't show the stress involved with his life and finances.

@Funkypickle

It's not fun being furloughed it's worrying. My industry will never be the same again and I seriously worry about the future. Posts like this incite hate and jealousy for no reason. I would have never chosen this. Most ppl I know are struggling massively because of this. No one will come out of this untouched.

Also, in response to who's paying for furlough? We ALL are. All of those people who are on Furlough (me included) are still paying contributions/taxes as are our companies. Which is why businesses are going under and having to make staff redundant. Fixed costs, contributions, taxes etc still need to be paid whether or not the business is taking any money. The government grants hardly touch the sides for a lot of companies.

Be grateful for what you have because you could have a lot less.

Really well said @Funkypickle

Sorry it’s so rough for you. It must be such a worrying time

I am furloughed from my part time job but tbh homeschooling 4 kids is not my idea of a jolly and I'm pretty burned out too.

You are not paying their furlough money out of your pocket are you. There's no need for that kind of comment. The taxpayers will pay for not only furlough, but everything to do with this pandemic - but this includes those who were furloughed, once they return!

Yes, it's shit.

But everyone is just trying to make the best of their situation. Those on furlough aren't going to just sit in their homes in silence every day, are they? They have to make the best of what they're going through, just as you and your DH do.

FWIW furlough isn't all it's cracked up to be. Mental health can suffer from sitting at home with little purpose, just as it can through over work. There is no competition in suffering. The second you stop comparing yourself to others through tinted goggles you'll suddenly feel much less down.

Dh in job where half his team got furloughed in summer , he didn't just got put on something else within company and it was something he wSn't trained to do and was a struggle , also se had some holidays booked that he was told he had to take even though wd could do nothing , yet those on furlough were hols were cancelled and he reg see pictures of them dat in sun relaxing etc, this was worse at it seemed unfair. They were also paid 100% and now are all back no one lost job but they have about 10 days extra holiday this yeAr as not used whilst on furlough , and dh job kind when team member is off the rest have to work longer to pick it up , so this seemed even more unfair

What are people who are furloughed supposed to do though?! Sit in a dark room doing penance?

I'm wfh full time and trying to homeschool my 5 year old DS. It's shit but being annoyed other people are furloughed and not crying daily won't help my situation

I kind of understand; I’ve worked throughout as my industry is classed as essential. I did think earlier on I’d liked to have been furloughed as 20% wouldn’t have affected me as I probably spend that on petrol and parking so I’d be no worse off. However, I am immensely grateful to still be in a job, given how badly things have changed in the last year.

I think OP could be referring to people like the lady on here a few weeks ago whose DH was on 100% furlough from 2 jobs and had gone and got a third job! So on at least 250% of his usual wage.

My furloughed DP would love nothing more than to be back at work. But given his industry he would be sat twiddling his thumbs until shops are open and making money and affording refits again. On the surface it might look like he’s having a jolly old time posting on Instagram about the furniture he’s been making at home. In reality his mental health is shot to shit, he’s bored and frustrated, he’s not on full wages and since I’ve been made redundant we’re struggling to keep roof over our head. He’s been doing work for people where he can, helping our neighbours and families with repairs for free etc.
I can see that I am now perceived as a horrible person . Going to leave this thread as not good for my mental health. Should never have posted !!
You’re not a horrible person just incredibly ill-informed, ignorant and bitter. You could have used this as a learning experience but it’s clear you just want to be a martyr. Maybe YOU should think about others mental health before you post your uneducated and offensive comments.

I worked all the way through and am doing extra hours on top of FT.

But I still wouldn't want to be furloughed as I suspect the majority are worried about their job surviving even if they are enjoying the time off.

Yeah. You shouldn't have posted it

What stood out in your post - your husband is working but you don't mention whether you are yourself.

My husband and I are still working. I’m currently WFH whilst homeschooling single handedly, it’s tough but extremely grateful that we still have jobs, no we are definitely not looking down at those on furlough.

What an insensitive post.

Do you work OP?? I assume not, as if you do I would expect you may have some compassion for those that are currently on furlough.

It's tough for everyone, my DH is WFH - long hours & challenging work; I am furloughed and really miss working. Of course I am "lucky" in that I have no DC at home so I don't have to homeschool but apart from two volunteering jobs there is very little I can do and I am not sitting here 'enjoying myself'. Yet even saying that I know I am one of the "lucky" ones.

People furloughed may also be home schooling children.. and it’s not like there’s that much to do in the cold with shops and bars closed and no travel allowed. Focus on improving your own life.