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Original poster

I went into my suicidal friend's house and gave her a hug

128 replies

orientalknife · 05/02/2021 14:02

Suicidal because she is not coping with lockdown for various reasons

Apologies for killing a granny to carry out a most natural and instinctive human act which is to be with someone who is in crisis

Those manipulative, fuck wit government adverts that tell us to "look me in the eyes" can do one

Look the suicidal in the eyes. The depressed teenagers who are losing opportunities. The kids not allowed to play with each other. The people losing businesses.

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 05/02/2021 19:40

Agree with PPs that:

  1. She didn't break any rules (vulnerable person in immediate need)
  1. One hug will not help in case of suicidal ideation, and OP appears to be patting herself on her back as if she has helped.
  1. Her post was snarky & misplaced. No-one was preventing her helping her friend.
XenoBitch · 05/02/2021 19:45

Unbelievable that the OP is getting shit from some people for this.

Their friend is suicidal because of lockdown. Doesn't mean they need to be rushed to A&E or have the cops beating on their door. Some people are struggling due to lack of real human contact.. does not mean they are ill. In this case, a hug, someone else making you a cuppa, and a chat can do wonders. OP did the right thing by providing that, and I hope it really helped their friend.

The "granny killing"... as has been mentioned, Matt Hancock was on a radio show aimed at youngsters where he said mentioned this. And if anyone on MN, or social media in general, admits to even slightly bending the rules or daring to go to B&M or The Range, they are accused of being responsible for deaths and having blood on their hands.

The "look me in the eyes" ads are awful... in particular the one that goes "look him in the eyes and tell him you really can't work from home".... utter trash considering that it is up to employers, not employees as to who gets to decide this. And the country is being held together by people who can not work from home.

I have seen a few counter "look them in the eye" posters. I wish they were more widespread.

WunWun · 05/02/2021 19:48

@XenoBitch

Unbelievable that the OP is getting shit from some people for this.

Their friend is suicidal because of lockdown. Doesn't mean they need to be rushed to A&E or have the cops beating on their door. Some people are struggling due to lack of real human contact.. does not mean they are ill. In this case, a hug, someone else making you a cuppa, and a chat can do wonders. OP did the right thing by providing that, and I hope it really helped their friend.

The "granny killing"... as has been mentioned, Matt Hancock was on a radio show aimed at youngsters where he said mentioned this. And if anyone on MN, or social media in general, admits to even slightly bending the rules or daring to go to B&M or The Range, they are accused of being responsible for deaths and having blood on their hands.

The "look me in the eyes" ads are awful... in particular the one that goes "look him in the eyes and tell him you really can't work from home".... utter trash considering that it is up to employers, not employees as to who gets to decide this. And the country is being held together by people who can not work from home.

I have seen a few counter "look them in the eye" posters. I wish they were more widespread.

No one has given her shit for visiting her friend.
jimmyhill · 05/02/2021 19:48

What you did was entirely permitted by the regulations so there's really no need for the pissy fit about the regulations which are designed to prohibit people from having unnecessary social contact.

There's a specific exemption for things like mental health crises

SqeakyHindge · 05/02/2021 19:48

@Flaxmeadow

It's not against the rules to help someone in a medical emergency, but you already knew this didn't you OP?
A parent I’m friends with didn’t know, she thought that relative who looked after child was the allowed 1bubble.

Actually upset when told me she had break down in middle of street she didn’t know where or who anyone was. I’ve told her time and time to come to mine or send child over. As don’t always know when to drag her arse round.

Anxiety is through roof esp about rules.

XenoBitch · 05/02/2021 19:52

@WunWun not for visiting her friend but for mentioning it at all.

ssd · 05/02/2021 19:56

You did the right thing @orientalknife

EarringsandLipstick · 05/02/2021 19:58

Their friend is suicidal because of lockdown

How do you know this?

XenoBitch · 05/02/2021 19:59

@EarringsandLipstick

Their friend is suicidal because of lockdown

How do you know this?

First line in the OPs post.

"Suicidal because she is not coping with lockdown for various reasons"

southeastdweller · 05/02/2021 20:00

No one has given her shit for visiting her friend.

Yes they are:

OP I don't really understand your point here? You did not break any rules and did what any other friend would have done. However what else did you do? I hug will not cure her suicidal thoughts, did you bring her to A&E? Or move her into your home? One hug sadly is not going to impact on someone who is suicidal.

WishingHopingThinkingPraying · 05/02/2021 20:01

OP you were always allowed to do that. Who is telling you you can't?

I hope your friend is ok.

freckles20 · 05/02/2021 20:01

Two weeks ago I found out my 14yo DS has been struggling and self harming, he confided to his counsellor (over the phone) that he feels suicidal.

A poor teacher from school had to tell me this on the phone whilst I was working (outdoors and alone).

It was an awful shock, I fell apart, threw up and my legs literally went and I called a friend. She rescued me and she hugged me and I managed to calm down.

I'm not sure if we broke the rules but I needed that contact to pick me up and put me back together before returning home to my lovely son.

Karmagoat · 05/02/2021 20:02

Flowers hope your friend is ok OP

SqeakyHindge · 05/02/2021 20:04

Flowers @freckles20

freckles20 · 05/02/2021 20:05

I disagree that a hug and chat with someone who is actively suicidal won't help.

It most certainly can help to have that contact and that conversation. No one should be alone when they are that low.

Yes of course more things need to happen, but that initial step can bring someone back from the brink. I know this from my own experience.

EarringsandLipstick · 05/02/2021 20:06

First line in the OPs post.

"Suicidal because she is not coping with lockdown for various reasons"

That's not really the same tho?

Lockdown is affecting people's mental health, sure. And if you have underlying issues, it's possibly going to exacerbate them, sadly.

Not the same as 'caused by lockdown'. Suicidal ideation is more complicated than that.

OP did the right thing, and was allowed to. But the post she made was unnecessary & harsh.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 05/02/2021 20:07

No. Nobody is giving OP shit for visiting her friend. It's something that most if not all of us would do. It's not against the rules either.

Posting about it just encourages arguments and it's a matter of time before the really ignorant heavy-hitters with their jackboots come on to tell the OP that she's personally responsible for passing on the virus. What then?

That was my point anyway, not that OP was wrong to visit her friend, of course she wasn't, it's a no-brainer, just that posting about it might prevent somebody else doing the same (totally valid) thing. If you've been reading the board these past weeks you'll know who and what I'm referring to. Some posters are already misunderstanding on this thread.

SugarMiceInTheRain · 05/02/2021 20:12

You did the right thing. I have broken the rules for the same reason, self harming best friend. It's basic compassion. Tomorrow I'm going to visit a friend who has just lost her only family member and is in bits. She lives alone and cannot afford to pay for a funeral for her grandmother. She messaged me saying all she wants is a hug. I just had a negative covid test at work today. No qualms about going to give her a hug. This is breaking people.

stevalnamechanger · 05/02/2021 20:47

You did the right thing that any reasonable person would also do

DuchessofHastings1 · 05/02/2021 20:48

Fuck the rules in situations like this.

She's more likely to die from suicide thinking no one cares than she is of Covid.

The government have blood on their hands.

wanderings · 05/02/2021 21:09

My suggested improvement to the "look them in the eyes" adverts:

"Look me in the eyes, while I swear that the wholesale destruction of your jobs, futures, education and mental health is the right thing to do." (Johnson mugshot)

"Look me in the eyes, while I swear that I obeyed all the rules." (Cummings)

"Look me in the eyes, while I swear that war in Iraq was the right thing to do." (Blair, the warmonger with blood on his hands)

"Look me in the eyes, while I swear that I am God." (Insert politician of your choice)

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind · 05/02/2021 21:57

[quote Cornettoninja]@StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind

In what world do you live this isn’t a highly inappropriate snarky comment to make?

Apologies for killing a granny to carry out a most natural and instinctive human act which is to be with someone who is in crisis

Don’t lecture me on mental health and suicide, you haven’t got a clue about me.[/quote]
At what point did I lecture you about mental health? Wtf is it with people on here projecting massively and using it to have a go at other people? It's always been bad on here but it's gone batshit lately.

Don't fucking put words in my mouth. And get a grip whilst you're at it.

Mittens030869 · 05/02/2021 23:31

You did the right thing, OP, and I'm sure your friend really appreciated your visit. I hope they're able to access the help they need.

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 05/02/2021 23:34

You didn't break any rules - so there's no need for your post, really - other than venting about a distressing situation for you as well as your friend.

I hope she accesses the help she needs to feel better.

Raaaaaaarr · 05/02/2021 23:38

I am big on that stay at home thing and follow the rules but 100% you have done the right thing. No question.