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Original poster

I went into my suicidal friend's house and gave her a hug

128 replies

orientalknife · 05/02/2021 14:02

Suicidal because she is not coping with lockdown for various reasons

Apologies for killing a granny to carry out a most natural and instinctive human act which is to be with someone who is in crisis

Those manipulative, fuck wit government adverts that tell us to "look me in the eyes" can do one

Look the suicidal in the eyes. The depressed teenagers who are losing opportunities. The kids not allowed to play with each other. The people losing businesses.

OP posts:
thatdarncat · 05/02/2021 16:17

You sound like a really good friend and a lovely person. I wish someone would come to my house to give me a hug. None of my friends give a shit.

Dyrne · 05/02/2021 16:22

Oh come on.

Helping a vulnerable person is completely within the “rules” that everyone on here is frothing against.

But you know that, don’t you OP?

Fembot123 · 05/02/2021 16:45

@Radio4Rocks

I would have said well done were it not for your spiteful snide remarks about the genuinely ill people in that advert.

You aren't as nice as you seem to think you are.

Can you read?
Fembot123 · 05/02/2021 16:47

The advert is patronising and laughable and before @Radio4Rocks starts on again NO I’m not laughing at ill people 😂

Aloethere · 05/02/2021 17:18

@Dyrne

Oh come on.

Helping a vulnerable person is completely within the “rules” that everyone on here is frothing against.

But you know that, don’t you OP?

But is it really helping people if you don't tell the internet about it?
McCheney73 · 05/02/2021 17:27

Good on you op

I've been seeing my friend who has been really not coping.

First time living on her own after she found out just before lockdown her boyfriend is a serial cheat.

I hate that advert. Yes its breaking a rules but otherwise you'll be seeing her in a hospital bed or worse. She's 27...

I can't technically bubble with her because I'm in one with my mum who is single

Fifthtimelucky · 05/02/2021 17:51

I agree with those who have said that this was not breaking rules. The rules include exceptions that allow us to care for vulnerable people and to provide emergency assistance.

oldegg123 · 05/02/2021 17:55

I also think these kinds of threads are pretty irresponsible.

It's not illegal to help someone who is in crisis and it's not illegal to seek help if you're feeling at crisis point. If someone reads this and thinks twice about either of those things, or it causes them extra distress, it's really not the kind of message to promoting.

DfEisashambles · 05/02/2021 18:00

You did the right thing BUT your ‘apologies for killing a granny’ line is insensitive to those losing loved ones, young and old.

slashlover · 05/02/2021 18:07

From the rules. www.gov.uk/guidance/national-lockdown-stay-at-home#summary-what-you-can-and-cannot-do-during-the-national-lockdown

You can leave home:

to provide care for disabled or vulnerable people

OP was caring for a vulnerable person so it's allowed.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 05/02/2021 18:10

This whole thread is tasteless and bad form. I'm really grateful that Mumsnet hasn't succumbed to a 'like' button. This board would be awash with them.

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind · 05/02/2021 18:10

@DfEisashambles

You did the right thing BUT your ‘apologies for killing a granny’ line is insensitive to those losing loved ones, young and old.
Tell Matt Hancock that don't kill a granny is offensive then, given he's the one who coined the phrase.

Mostly to emotionally blackmail and scapegoat the young.

chocolateisavegetable · 05/02/2021 18:12

@DfEisashambles

You did the right thing BUT your ‘apologies for killing a granny’ line is insensitive to those losing loved ones, young and old.
Exactly right
oneglassandpuzzled · 05/02/2021 18:22

@AwaAnBileYerHeid

Don't the guidelines say that you are allowed to provide support for people? This is what you were doing surely?
Exactly.
Cornettoninja · 05/02/2021 18:25

At least Matt Hancock was saying don’t instead of a glib sarcastic reference to people’s deaths.

I find it very hard to give a shit about the OP’s feelings when they’re happy to rank importance of deaths. People have died from all sorts of things during this pandemic and none of those deaths was less important than the other to those that loved them.

Particularly when seeing vulnerable people is within the rules at the moment. This is just attention seeking

Msmcc1212 · 05/02/2021 19:10

A life threatening situation is always paramount. I am 100% in agreement with lockdown (there is no other way if you don’t close the borders quickly, have a healthcare system stretched to the max already and mess up track and trace) but where there is risk to life that must be prioritised. You did the right thing and the only human response. As long as everyone sticks to the rules unless absolutely necessary (like in this situation) then that’s the best we all can do in this awful situation where most people are being impacted badly in so many ways.

Hope your friend picks up and that they get some good mental health support.

PurpleDaisies · 05/02/2021 19:13

As long as everyone sticks to the rules unless absolutely necessary (like in this situation) then that’s the best we all can do in this awful situation where most people are being impacted badly in so many ways.

The rules allow for this situation. No rule was broken.

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind · 05/02/2021 19:17

@Cornettoninja

At least Matt Hancock was saying don’t instead of a glib sarcastic reference to people’s deaths.

I find it very hard to give a shit about the OP’s feelings when they’re happy to rank importance of deaths. People have died from all sorts of things during this pandemic and none of those deaths was less important than the other to those that loved them.

Particularly when seeing vulnerable people is within the rules at the moment. This is just attention seeking

Oh as long as Matt Hancock was saying 'don't' then, that's fine! It's fine to emotionally blackmail the young, and scapegoat (never mind the psychological effect on the children/teens who may have lost a grandparent to Covid and are now terrified that they passed it to them). Oh, and the casual sexism too aimed at elderly women (despite the fact that actually men are more at risk of dying as well- it's always women who are treated in this way). Hmm

And I'm sorry but where the fuck are you getting that the OP is ranking deaths? Ridiculous- she was making the point that coronavirus isn't the only thing that is killing people and the it's not the only thing that matters right now. It's fucking horrendous and no one wanted to see people dying of it but I'm not exactly delighted with the suicides that will happen as a result or the lost jobs, life chances and mental health catastrophe that will affect so many. It's possible to care about both.

MarshaBradyo · 05/02/2021 19:19

You’re right about listing other harms

Flaxmeadow · 05/02/2021 19:20

It's not against the rules to help someone in a medical emergency, but you already knew this didn't you OP?

JustDanceAddict · 05/02/2021 19:21

You didn’t break any rules though. I hope your friend is ok.,

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind · 05/02/2021 19:29

@Flaxmeadow

It's not against the rules to help someone in a medical emergency, but you already knew this didn't you OP?
I don't get all of these type of posts on this thread tbh. People post on mumsnet all the time about things they 'already know the answer to' or whatever. Are people not allowed to vent?
Cornettoninja · 05/02/2021 19:34

@StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind

In what world do you live this isn’t a highly inappropriate snarky comment to make?

Apologies for killing a granny to carry out a most natural and instinctive human act which is to be with someone who is in crisis

Don’t lecture me on mental health and suicide, you haven’t got a clue about me.

WunWun · 05/02/2021 19:37

Vent about what though? No one actually told her she couldn't visit her suicidal friend. There's nothing in the OP about selling reassurance she did the right thing, quite the opposite. This is just a pure attention seeking 'please give me 100s of posts telling me what a wonderful person I am' thread.

Original poster
orientalknife · 05/02/2021 19:38

Fuck those saying a hug means nothing

In a world full of fear of breaking rules even for the most basic human needs, a hug goes a long way.

Of course it wasn't just a hug. I stayed. I talked. Got her shopping and made sure she had someone staying with her. Also the hospital and psychiatric team are now involved. I will be going in to check on her.

These lockdowns have generated worrying trends in people's behaviour, that's why I'm posting. Of course I am not berating the ill from covid, whatever dickhead said that.

OP posts: