“No onesies please as it makes the children in school jealous”

[Lemons1571]

A message from the head of our primary. Please could all parents at home please ensure their primary children are fully dressed in day clothes ready for their class 9am zoom. No onesies. Apparently the children actually allowed to go to school are annoyed seeing their classmates lounging at home in onesies / pj’s / loungewear.

Ummm, I’m sorry, I thought I heard you issuing instructions on what I must / must not do in my own house. What possible authority does a school have to do this? Kids forced out of face to face education. Being shown some lovely examples of the artwork done by the kids at school over zoom with the caveat “oh don’t worry I know you can’t do this at home”.

Read the room ffs. Just another request to put other people’s children before my own. As it happens my primary child gets dressed of his own accord, but if he wanted to wear a onesie then quite frankly anyone else’s opinion can fuck off.

Physically going to school = uniform worn as per school rules.
Physically barred from school = my house my rules.

No doubt I’m overreacting but it annoyed me!

Find something to actually worry about and stop being chavvy.

My kids can wear what ever they want on the Google meets since they are usually at 8.15am which is earlier than school usually starts I have no issue with them wearing pjs . My daughters are badly affected with this lock down and are really jealous of there peers who are in school mon to Friday (one dd has asd ) but never got a place.

I think that is ridiculous honestly

YABU. Most schools I know have a ‘must be dressed and not in pyjamas’ policy for live lessons.

I'd be pissed off too.
Children at home shouldn't be topless or in their underwear but they've clearly not considered the feelings of the kids at home who want to be at school.

@Wheresmycider

The biggest theme to come out of any thread on schooling due to coronavirus seems to be the inconsistency. From schools who do zoom calls all day for different subjects, to those that simply issue worksheets, the differences are staggering. No two schools are even remotely similar. How are we nearly a year into this without any sort of concensus on how remote learning should be applied?

you wrote it better than I did.

I wear a onesie wfh it looks no different from a hoodie on zoom calls. Pyjamas should be a no, but onesies as long as they aren't fancy dress distracting ones, who cares, no different from a hoodie and trackies.

Find something to actually worry about and stop being chavvy.

🤪

@marshmallowfluffy

I'd be pissed off too. Children at home shouldn't be topless or in their underwear but they've clearly not considered the feelings of the kids at home who want to be at school.

Have they not ? In what way does asking home children to put clothed on not consider their feelings?

@Jacketpotato84

The kids are on camera on the online lessons? I thought this was a safeguarding issue so they dont have it switched on?

we signed a form authorising this

I am very happy with it. It's much better for my kids to see their friends than a wall of initials..

Cameras on are NOT mandatory. Parents who are uncomfortable can keep them off.

Wheresmycider
There's two strands to the inconsistency:

Strand 1: schools have different cohorts and contexts and that will drive their approaches. My school has already given out every device we own to students because so many of them don't have access. We are also having to rely on community donations of other things to help support our families. Many of our parents are in insecure employment and are having to work out of the home doing several jobs. A previous school I worked at had mainly professional parents, most students had a new smartphone and the households had several devices, parents were working from home and had flexibility to check in on their children. It would be madness for both schools to have the same approach.

Even within schools who have a middle ground, for every complaint that there's too little work, there's someone else saying otherwise. For every person who means on mumsnet saying their DC is being held back by not having 4 hours of live video lessons, there's another family who are really trying but there's one device in the family so they much prefer asynchronous materials. The research summaries so far say that live learning vs not live does not make a difference, but on here those who are privileged are quick go claim to care about disadvantaged children when their posts show otherwise. Crucially, if you point this out then their agenda becomes clear as they start lamenting that it's a rush to the bottom and why should their child be penalised for having nice parents

Strand 2: Poor strategic oversight from the DfE. There was zero guidance at the start, then late guidance, then changing guidelines, then announcements made the day before school holidays, documents being demanded only for them to be scrapped in November. Then in January Gav decided he would mention them again in a press conference as essential when he scrapped them months previously. There's been u turns after u turns, a refusal to engage with the profession (who just want to do our jobs).

Yes I agree. My DD is very jealous of the kids who are in school so I imagine I would get pretty annoyed at at email like this.

Same here. My children, particularly dd1 would love to be in school. She can wear what she wants at home as long as a)she wears something and b)she does her lessons.

Do they really have such little understanding of how children are feeling?

LolaSmiles

I am not sure dismissing children who are struggling and feeling left out, by calling them "advantaged" is acceptable.
It's not about the level of education, it's about their mental health. No one gives a shit about fronted adverbials being taught live, but parents do care about the health of their children.

On a side note, it's not just about being "nice" it's also being realistic and using the live lessons to get on with our own work.

@SionnachRua

Though I'm not sure if I agree with kids being in uniform at home. All we ask for is no swimwear/PJs/costumes at my place.

I like the fact that someone has obviously thought it possible that someone may turn up in their swimwear to put it in the policy that they can't 😅

Have they not ? In what way does asking home children to put clothed on not consider their feelings?

Children at home will generally be jealous of the ones at school. Dressing comfortably in home clothes is one of the very tiny advantages of being at home. I don't consider onesies as not wearing clothes. Some kids wear them to sleep but others might dress up in them or find them a comfy alternative to wearing joggers around the house.

Wearing uniform for the sake of a live lesson is creating washing and hassle for parents whose kids might not want to get changed. My kids are not primary so I have no skin in the game but I can only imagine how the kids at home are feeling about others being at school while they are at home. They probably hear snippets of what the kids at school at doing too.

If kids in onesies are fiddling with the zip and hood then that's a distraction so not appropriate for online learning. However if it's a glorified sweatshirt/joggers sort of thing then why not ?

You’d hate our schools then both primary and secondary have said they must be wearing school Uniform and PE kit for PE.

Count yourself and your child lucky. My children aren't getting zoom lessons or any virtual learning. Just work sheets any bite size videos.

Just count to ten. Scream into a pillow. Write an angry email back that you'll never send.

Then explain to your child as bad as it feels to her right now it could be worse. Put a jumper over her onesie if needs be.

Sorry to be blunt but im fielding questions about why their school doesn't care about them anymore. I'd have then in their uniform with bells and whistles on if it meant they got just one interactive lesson a day

Yanbu
We've stopped joining in with the zoom calls ( only one week offered) because it was upsetting my DC to see all the kids in school. As long as they are dressed, it shouldn't matter what they are wearing in their own home

I like the fact that someone has obviously thought it possible that someone may turn up in their swimwear to put it in the policy that they can't

Oh it's because they have! Happened a few times last summer! We sent them off to change every time 😂

Now it's unlikely they'd be in swimwear in January but you never know...

My child does get dressed (and we don’t have many zoom classes) but he is 4 and sobs that we should get different jobs when he realises his friends are in school. I already feel guilty enough that my job is not worthy enough to get him a place. If he wanted to wear a bloody onesie (doesn’t actually own one!)- I’d let him!

For me, this would have been the last straw. Each week we get a new rule or rules from our primary school. Not all of the rules are their own choice, some are revised government guidelines. But quite a few are about monitoring what we are doing. They inevitably send the new rules out on a Friday evening when I am most fed up with home learning.

Some of it shows zero understanding of what is going on in home around the country. One said 'it's ok to stop for an afternoon and bake or play a game together'. It's not the fucking weekend - each day is a work day and much of our home learning has to happen in the evenings because we are on calls during the day.

I am beginning to ignore bits I don't like. Otherwise it's too much pressure.

I 100% agree and think not making sure your child is dressed is lazy. If your child was going to school they would be up dressed and at school. So I don't see why they wouldn't at least be dressed before the meeting. To me it's the absolute least a parent should make sure is done.
Every evening I get my sons clothes out and hung up ready for the next morning, exactly the same as I would his uniform if he was going to school. To me it shows his teachers that he is up and ready to learn and do his work. I wouldn't ever let him go on in his pyjamas, just like he wouldn't go to school in them.

It is perfectly reasonable to expect children to be dressed in day clothes as opposed to pyjamas or onesies

@DancingQueen85

Yanbu We've stopped joining in with the zoom calls ( only one week offered) because it was upsetting my DC to see all the kids in school. As long as they are dressed, it shouldn't matter what they are wearing in their own home

@DancingQueen85 same here. I’d told my DC only children with Mums and Dads who are nurses, doctors, police etc went in. When we did our first zoom call there was easily half the class sat there. My DC got very upset at the thought of the, all playing together while she was alone at home.

FWIW OP our school policy is ‘appropriate’ clothing which excludes any dress up or onsies. We did follow it when we joined.

I think its up to you and your child really.If they turn up at School/Work in a onesie then obv inappropriate .However if they are at home through no fault of their own its entirely different.(And I was a Nursery School Teacher!) The children should be concentrating on their School work surely ,not worrying how their classmates at home are dressed!