AIBU to be angry that parents are abusing the (not actually) key worker's at school system?

[Lucy2509]

Hi everyone. So, I'm a single parent working in a care home, part-time. On very low wages, so I cannot afford a car and cycle everywhere. During the first lockdown, my daughters school really grilled me over what hours I worked, where her dad was, what he was doing and generally pressurising me to not send my daughter to school.
I had to cut my hours to fit in with the schools opening times too.

The second time around, there are twice as many children in her class, and I know that some of them have 2 parents in the home, that are not keyworkers. Yet those children are allowed to go 5 days a week, and mine is only allowed to go 3. AIBU to question the head teachers decision on this?

I would absolutely challenge the decision. Please contact the local authority. I’ve read on here head teachers have backed down in this sort of situation.

I know of people getting their children in by asking their employer to fill in applications even though they’re 100% not key workers and heads accepting. This is for secondary btw and in the case of employees asking their employer to fill in the application. Not the other way round. Another child has been given a place as they were not studying at home. Child not vulnerable, two parents etc. These are younger secondary. Tbh I wouldn’t want my child home alone all day. But two of these parents have been given permission to wfh and don't want to. In other areas, parents are struggling to get their kids in.

I think the pushy parents get theirs in tbh. I probably could have based on recovering from surgery and my being chronically ill / disabled. But would rather dd stayed home. Dd doesn’t want to go in either.

"I do think people like you are probably more disadvantaged than someone who doesn't work. Their children would likely be classed as vulnerable so would have more support such as lunch packs/vouchers."

Children of parents who do not work are not classed as vulnerable.

A mum friend of mine and I had been messaging ‘catching’ up and planning a get together.

Then she told me how wonderful it was she’d ‘managed’ to get her eldest a place at school because her DH is ‘technically’ a key worker (he’s not really in an essential role and she’s a SAHM to one other child).

She knows my DH is a doctor and we are pretty serious about limiting exposure as a family. I’ve taken a huge career hit to stop us ‘having’ to send baby DS to nursery. Wasn’t sure what to reply so I’ve just left it for now.

I think you are getting a hard time and I doubt many can relate to your situation I doubt many on here are having to homeschool from just a phone

For most of us still working in healthcare we would rather be at home it’s safer for our families as the risk is always there it’s not at school during lockdown. The horrendous stress is difficult to leave at work

Op is at the highest of risk every single day they have had go above and beyond what’s expected (on a pittance of a wage) she absolutely should be applauded for her work and where her life can be made just that bit easier for the sake of her child’s education it should be

Working at home is difficult when managing children but it’s a doddle compared to what the op is having to manage

(Planning a get together for post covid- should have specified that)

Rules have changed.

Schools have been told they must accept children. They will have a limit though I'm terms of days and numbers due to staff I guess.

The list of key workers has expanded to include a large proportion of jobs.

Parents less inclined to want to put them selves through the hell of home schooling again so are using any reason they can find to send the children in.

Employers less sympathetic so many are writing letters to schools saying people are key workers.

Vulnerable list has been expanded.

Alot of people are selfish and bending the rules.

Only one parent has to be a keyworker to qualify for a place.

You should be able to get a place if you do not have the equipment you need at home as thats another category. Yes you should raise this with the Head. But it could be they dont have the staff so perhaps they can print worksheets out for you.

The whole thing is a joke.

If you think your child needs to be in full time you need to speak to the Head with the reasons why. There is no point in getting annoyed at why others are in.

Lucy2509

If it's the availability of tech ...can you ask the school if they can provide some help with a lap top or iPad ?

Can't the school help with tech or printed papers of the work? I've had to give up my staff ipad to allow a child to have access to a device.

It means now I have my phone to upload stuff. Not ideal but some of us have to make sacrifices. If you are struggling then email the school about it.

Not struggle to look at tasks on a tiny screen, writing everything out by hand because I do not have a printer, I suppose?
Do my 3 a week corona tests, to make sure I'm keeping others safe?
Or even pick up extra shifts, because there is only 1 income coming in.

@DrunkBetch

I'm so bored of people posting this question! Everyone is doing their best! Stop with all the bitterness!

Yes please to this. My DH and I are both classed as keyworkers now - we can work from home but our employers absolutely expect that we work 100% and don’t do childcare/home schooling. They are saying as we are keyworkers nobody should have their children at home.

We are under a lot of pressure and it’s an awful situation for everyone!

@Pumpertrumper I’m taking a huge career hit too for the same reason. I’m lucky we can afford to but I’m getting more and more worried about my employability after this.

By all means ask the school why your child doesn't qualify for a full time place, but don't expect them to discuss other children and why they a place. This is actually one of my concerns for my DC, although I would hope anyone that knows us well enough to know we're not key workers might stop and think that we would have had a conversation with the Head about why we need a school place - which in fact was offered rather than us asking.

Yanbu. But it’s mn so you don’t get away without a sound kicking I’m afraid!

Loads of people taking the piss.

We don’t have a printer either but my ds’s teacher delivers the printouts to anyone in the villages surrounding the school who don’t have access.

Homeschoolings shit and it really grinds when I rush to finish work to join in a class zoom (only one laptop) only to see about half the class in the school on there

@Lucy2509

Because, as well as being a keyworker, we are poor. We are doing the work on a phone. I have no printer. She should be classed as vulnerable, but the head won't have it. That is why I wish to challenge her decision.

You shouldn't need to print, and ask the school for a laptop. It is perfectly possible for schools to provide work that doesn't require printing ( I haven't been printing in school for the keyworker children because it's not necessary. Ask the school specifically about those things.

This time round, employers have done letters so that people who arent esssential get a key worker place. You are probably unlucky in yhat they know your background so can fob you off with 3 days, whereas they may not have 'grilled' other parents so much because they presented a letter. I dont know why everyone is being really harsh. We have a had a year of this now and some people are finding it tougher than others, and being treated more unfairly. Care workers and supermarket workers for example. No protected working from home for them and only SSP if they need to isolate
OP if your child doesnt have access to resources please speak to the school about that

But you're complaining about other parents sending children in unnecessarily, then saying that you want to do the same thing! You work 3 days, your dd is in school 3 days and you have to homeschool 2. Trust me, you are no more exhausted than the rest of us at the moment!
A covid test takes 30 minutes tops, she doesn't need to go to school for a whole day for you to take a covid test.
If you need better internet access then ask school for help with that.
If you need to work more hours then show proof to school and ask for the extra days. Sending her to school so you can rest after working 3 days a week is taking the piss out of the school staff.

The op is not taking the piss.
She would be able to pick up more shifts if her child was in school 5 days. Her school will only giver her days for her contracted hours.

If they are doing the same to other care workers and supermarkets workers they are pushing those families further into poverty.

When asked why she wanted extra school days, taking extra work hours was third on her list, not first. After doing a covid test and not having to work on a phone.

Have none of you seen the many news reports from schools where teachers have been asking the government to supply iPads/laptops for children who don’t have them at school

They would have to prioritise what they give out and a child attending part time would not be a priority

Trust me the op has it far more difficult than the vast majority of us on here care homes are hell to work in at the moment do you really think they get the same support as nhs staff (which I know from experience is poor)

Op is being regularly tested that only shows she is free from covid at that point in time she will be surrounded by it as soon as she is in work (and many will be working in basic PPE while doing personal care) plus dealing with many deaths, supporting those dying as their families can’t for what life to be made harder finally because they can’t work more hours

This is going on with many of our lowest paid workers who work really hard

The lack of empathy and a sense of what is going on for many on here is astounding

By all means challenge it with the school, but the fact remains you don't know those others families situations.

I don't get how is it easier to believe that there is some nefarious plot to just allow certain kids in than to believe that other parents jumped through the same hoops and qualify for their place.

In Scotland, local authorities decide the criteria and the schools are bound by that. In my area, both parents have to be key workers and have no option of working from home. I'm a key worker but my exDH isn't, so despite the fact my kids don't see much of him, we didn't qualify last time. I haven't investigated it this time.

It's not clear to me that OP would pick up more shifts.

Sympathies op. Being poor and not able to work enough to make money does mean your dc is vulnerable and the school should recognise that. Unfortunately some pp’s on MN have no idea what that’s like.
At the very least the school should be helping you to get equipment for your dc. I believe there are charities set up for this.

Don’t get me started. My friend’s husband is a key worker and she sends her kids to school 5 days a week. She’s at home with a toddler, just doesn’t want to home school!