AIBU to be angry that parents are abusing the (not actually) key worker's at school system?

[Lucy2509]

Hi everyone. So, I'm a single parent working in a care home, part-time. On very low wages, so I cannot afford a car and cycle everywhere. During the first lockdown, my daughters school really grilled me over what hours I worked, where her dad was, what he was doing and generally pressurising me to not send my daughter to school.
I had to cut my hours to fit in with the schools opening times too.

The second time around, there are twice as many children in her class, and I know that some of them have 2 parents in the home, that are not keyworkers. Yet those children are allowed to go 5 days a week, and mine is only allowed to go 3. AIBU to question the head teachers decision on this?

You want to be living in poverty? And physically attacked at work? Ok.

If you want to challenge the place allocation of your child then do that. Don’t busy your mind about why others need it.

Sympathy OP

Worked in primary in lockdown one.

It depends on your Head. It depends on their ability to manage. It depends on the demands of other parents and the pressure they exert on the time and patience of your head.

It really shouldn't. But it is.

Because some people are lying through their back teeth.
Someone I know has lied to get their child inciting both parents keyworkers. That may have been true first lock down but she’s not even working at the minute.

Yanbu to ask for help or clarification on the position your child has based on the use of a phone for the work for example and your own financial position.

Yabu to speculate on other people's situations when you don't know all the circumstances.

You would be VERY unreasonable to mention other people in a "but why does x get a place and my dc doesn't" type of way.

Adding that is also depends on the arseyness of the employers of other parents.

Lockdown 1 - my boss was relaxed. I didn't take KW. Then my boss decided he wanted me in. No KW places at DC school. Ratio and safety etc. The head would not be swayed. My boss wants to phone up and make demands. 🙄

This time, I did not put DC in KW because even though I am a KW, I can work from home. Today my boss decides HER life would be easier if I am in so tells me my DC school is breaking the law, report them to Ofsted, blah. I told her that I will not be questioning the judgement of the Head because he doesn't have enough staff to make the changes. Decisions needed to be made on 4 Jan.

I waffle.

Point is, you have secured as much provision as you can. Make it clear to HEAD AND BOSS you need more please as soon as it is available.

I am challenging it. Despite all the shaming I've recieved here, I'm not going to just accept this decision. It is good to challenge and debate things, its called freedom of speech.

Thank you. I will. I hope that your employer, or at least your local authority, can help you in these difficult times.

Thank you chuffedasbuttons. The people having a go at me on here, dont want to see that by sending children who dont need the place, it takes away from those who do.

What will you do on the other two days?

I’m sorry people are giving you a hard time OP. I have disabled twins who’ve been off for two weeks and going back two days a week to their specialist school, I’m bloody exhausted and I still can find empathy for a single mum on a low wage in a high risk job. I would definitely speak to the school - if you need to work more hours, you need her to go to school.

I don't think everyone is trying their best. I think clearly some people are taking the piss

Has your head say you can’t have a place those 2 extra days because they are full or because on those two days you don’t meet the criteria? If it’s the latter then it makes no difference who is attending on those days.

Ask the school for more hours.

You don’t know other kids circumstances, but if there are more kids in, push forward yours.

@Lucy2509 if you're only part time then that's probably why they're only letting her go part time.

With regards to the struggle completing her work have you told school about this? My school are trying really hard to make sure children at home are able to access work by either lending laptops/tablets or printing out work for children. I'd definitely put a request in and make sure you cc in the chair of governors.

You might also want to have a look at this scheme to see if you're eligible for extra mobile phone data:
get-help-with-tech.education.gov.uk/about-increasing-mobile-data

But you don't know they don't need the place. They are there for a reason.

OP, are you a keyworker or not? If not, your daughter shouldn't be going to school at all and your school is applying too lax a policy all round. The aim isn't to provide childcare for those who need it most. It's to ensure that people critical to the basic functioning of society aren't forced to stay at home, thereby making the whole situation worse. But you know that, or you wouldn't have a problem with problem abusing the system.

@Lucy2509 I think you should be given a place. I work in a school.

OP, I can hear the frustration in your post and I am genuinely sorry that you are having such a difficult time of it during this lockdown. As many people have said, there's been changes to what qualifies children for a school place this time around and whilst you may see both parents at home/not key workers etc, there will another reason their child/children has a place. My child is at school one day a week. I don't work..... Looks unfair right?
But, I'm disabled and a lone parent , my 9 year old is a young carer and the school offered us the place as they recognise the strain on us atm and that she is classed as vulnerable.
She's at home, with me, the other 4 days a week but that one day allows her to be a child, not Mum's carer.
If you feel that you do meet the criteria for your child bring classed as vulnerable and the school aren't accepting this, contact the LA, explain why you believe your child should have a place. You can look up the categories online.
I do get it, but I also know that there are 'other' reasons why a child may have a place, reasons you aren't aware of.

@Lucy2509

Because, as well as being a keyworker, we are poor. We are doing the work on a phone. I have no printer. She should be classed as vulnerable, but the head won't have it. That is why I wish to challenge her decision.

Being poor is not a reason for her to be classed as vulnerable.

As bad as it sounds, it really isn't

I feel for you OP. It's outrageous that in your situation, your child cannot fully access the school. And of course it's normal to wonder why other kids with 2 non-key worker parents are getting 5 days when your child isn't. Yes we don't know all the circumstances but I'm sure some people will be at it - I know personally of such a case( child 100% not vulnerable and 2 working parents- from home and not key workers, big earners). It's very unfair that your DC is in this situation and you should complain. I'm sorry for you. Often the person who makes the loudest noise is heard. Good luck.

DoctorHildegardLanstrom I would argue that being "poor" can make a child vulnerable. Learning from a mobile phone ? From a physical perspective, it's a disgrace. It would not be allowed from a health and safety perspective in an office for a worker to do their work over a phone. Look at all the attention given to computers/ screen distance/ height etc. Hunched over a phone screen doing school work? It is shocking (not getting at you OP - you are being forced into this situation because of govt and school policy) The standard of education that can be taught through a phone screen is not acceptable. This alone would also make a child vulnerable to being excluded, left behind and disadvantaged for years to come.

@Snowrabbit

I don't disagree, but unless there is a massive drip feed from the OP that they are recieving support from social services its unlikely they would get in based on being poor. I also don't disagree with the OP about challenging it, but I don't think it will work. I speak from experience on this one, I hope the OP has better luck

OP, you can ask your school to print the schoolwork and send it to you; don't struggle to access it on your phone.

While I'm sympathetic to your position, you work three days a week, and have a place for three days a week, so I don't feel that you have a complaint really. If you push it, you're being an arsehole parent like the ones you're grumbling about.

At our school, parents are getting very creative about pleading their case and numbers are increasing daily.

It means extra classes, more staff on site, more parents congregating. I worry that it won't have the necessary affect on infection numbers, and that it's putting staff and families at risk.

But your Head is being sensible. If she's being strict with you, she's being strict with everyone and you need to accept that you just don't know everyone individual circumstances, even if you think you do.

And if a few arseholes have lied to blag their kids a place, that's on them and not the school, who can only do so much checking snd investigating.

We're both key workers & I'm delivering live lessons three days. I have DS home all week. Why would you want them in school where they might catch covid when they can stay home?

I have both children home two days while I do admin from home.

We're all juggling. I think you should ask about a laptop. There might be some help available for that.

I do think people like you are probably more disadvantaged than someone who doesn't work. Their children would likely be classed as vulnerable so would have more support such as lunch packs/vouchers.

Can her Dad not help?