I actually dislike my children

[Thedarksideofthemoon30]

Iv had enough. I’m done parenting. I feel like I’m having a breakdown.

3 Dc aged 12,11 and 4.

All been arguing and just little shits for weeks. Trying to home school etc. I’m exhausted.

I said I was going to wash my hair which I haven’t done in over a week because Iv been feeling so depressed. As soon as I get in my middle child is screaming hysterically (he always fucking does it!!!)

I get out and they are all fighting downstairs. Apparently middle child was winding oldest up so they both sat on him.

I’m fuming and Iv lost it. Told them that I can’t stand them atm and I’m so disappointed that I can’t even have 5 mins to myself.

I’m so mentally drained.

You need at more than 5 min of time to yourself each day or you really will break down. Institute "quiet time". Each child in separate room with quiet activity (reading/tablet/Lego whatever) and expected to stay there for 45min. No interacting with each other, no bothering you unless limb is hanging off. Might need a couple of goes to get the hang of it.

And sympathy. Much sympathy.

Thank you, I thought they were safe. Dd4 was on my phone playing a game, dd12 was prepping cookies in the kitchen and ds was in his room doing school work.

Arghhhhhh.

I have a sign for my office door which I suggest for your bathroom.

"Is it on fire? If not, do not disturb"

I'm not surprised you hit the roof.

I feel the same. Boys are 8 and 5 and have become so competitive. Everything is a competition. Who can get ready the fastest? Who got to the shop first? Just shut up kids. All they want to do is play games on a screen as well whilst screaming at their friends. Homeschool is just yawning and moaning. DD just a baby and feel so sad I get no quality time with her! I feel your pain. Every single time I have a bath my 5yo needs a poo. They havr started coming downstairs every 10 mins at bedtime because they "aren't tired". Just leave me alone to watch tv in peace 😭

I’m so angry. I feel like I’m actually having to hide away before I murder them.

I just want 5 mins of no bickering. It’s absolutely ridiculous. If the middle child wasn’t so dramatic and loud ALL the time it wouldn’t be so bad but even if the cat goes in his room he goes hysterical.

Iv honestly had enough and the husband won’t be home until 11pm.

I managed half a wash and my hair, but not able to dry it.

Oh god, bless you :(

Yes my 12 yo has started sitting downstairs at night to watch tv. She shared a bedroom with dd4 so at first I was like it’s ok but now it’s every single night! She sits next to Dh too so i don’t even get to sit next to him lol

It’s ridiculous.

I have 3 boys similar ages and they can not be in the same room without at least 2 out of 3 fighting or winding each other up. Its relentless, but I do appreciate they are bored, sick of the sight of each other have too much excess energy built up. Its hard, so so hard, You are definitely not alone in feeling like this

Consequences for fucking up your time...

@Porcupineintherough hit the nail on the head, do this.
I know the feeling I swear my DSS (8) is doing much the same at the moment. I tried to have a coffee the other day and he went off in a huff because I wouldn't play a game with him. I think the 1 year old is dealing with lockdown the best probably because he has never known any different.

Feeling a bit like this but only have two dc thank fuck

Sympathies and solidarity OP Hang in there.

Seriously, quiet time. My mum did this (and now I know why).

The good news about the 12 year old is it wont last. Soon you'll have to pay her to spend time with you.

Yes my 12 yo has started sitting downstairs at night to watch tv. She shared a bedroom with dd4 so at first I was like it’s ok but now it’s every single night! She sits next to Dh too so i don’t even get to sit next to him

This bit is unreasonable.

The not having 5 mins to yourself and feeling like you are going to break isn't unreasonable and needs to change

I actively dislike every single person and every single thing, these days. We're all just fed up - children are expressing this by being extra annoying, and adults are expressing it by being extra irritable.

It's nothing personal and if we can grit our teeth and survive a bit longer we will get some respite from each other and all feel better

I've stopped seeing myself as a mother and my family as humans. Instead I see myself as a zoologist, and my DH and DC as wild animals!

I keep them entertained in their cages, each having a room to themselves, and I ensure they are well fed with a clean enclosure. My menagerie are allowed to go to the toilet, but interaction with the other wild animals is forbidden unless I am in the room at the same time.

This is NOT your kids op, not really. We are all locked down, we are all miserable and we have all had enough. They don't mean to be high maintenance but everything is wrong in their world. Everything.

I agree with PP you need at least some times in the day when you have a proper break during the day.

Do you have a dp op? In which case he/she takes over the minute they are back from work. If not try the idea above, in their bedrooms and no one comes out for 45 mins - not for a single thing.

Also getting them out as much as possible is an absolute must or mine descend into anarchy pretty quickly. Too much energy too few outlets.

I am with you op - it is so hard in the winter to manage the home schooling, lack of sunlight and daylight hours, and all form of novelty has completely worn off.

I definitely went through a stage where I hated the sight of everything, including my beloved dog. Everything was just draining the life out of me. I had no reserves and nothing left to give anyone.

As for evenings, have you not asked the 12 year old to give you the odd evening alone as a date night? My 7 year old has been staying up later and yeah i miss the chill, adult only evenings. So once a week rougly, we tell her shes got to go to her room at 7.30 and to stay put and leave us be. It's worked really well and she's been so respectful about it. It makes a big difference

I started to go to bed earlier and earlier, now at 8.30pm and spending the evenings on my own. I also cracked down on the kids disturbing me every minute with a wail of Mummy, and instead gave them golden time on their games for an hour or two and instead of cleaning and tidying up, I sat down and watched something I enjoyed. Without saying a word.
I have also stopped replying to endless messages from the wider world, and have decided just to keep my remaining energy for my dc and I. I can't pick up everyone and everything around me at the moment. I have reached capacity personally.

Are you seeing someone for your depression?

If a man posted on here that his kids were 'little shits', that he disliked them and 'I feel like I’m actually having to hide away before I murder them', people would not be saying god bless you, they'd be insisting on an intervention and possibly social services.

You are clearly exhausted, and they are clearly misbehaving. However if you have been too depressed to wash your hair for a week, and are having these extremely dark thoughts, I would suggest that the issue is internal and instituting quiet time is not enough, you need to.speak to.your GP and/or mental health professional. You deserve to feel better than this, and this is not healthy for any of you. Is your.DH aware of how you are feeling? He also needs to know.

I feel for you. I love my children but don't always like them. They can be awful, especially to each other and it is so upsetting and frustrating! I have no solutions other than ignore when you can so they sort it out themselves and save your energy for when you have to referee.

Seems a lot of parents are possibly regretting having ''Too many'' with the schools shut.

A mother{?} in a supermarket recently ignored her wild DC, one, particularly irritating, who was giggling in a shrill provoking manner, {Aged about 11} rushing about, picking up ice cream boxes from freezer, licking them and putting them back

The kids was getting a few disapproving stares, but Mother ignored their behaviour..She wasn't interacting with the kids at all.

Perhaps she was depressed. The rushing about giggling licking one looked a nightmare.

No respite care, I imagine.. no easy solution.

I have borderline personality disorder and I ge help through my psychiatrist, my god I’m not going to murder my children.

But yes sometimes they are little shits, doesn’t mean I need bloody social services to intervene.

Yes my husband is aware I’m struggling and
Doing his absolute best to help but he’s currently
On day 7 of 11 days in a row. He finishes at 10pm today so can’t exactly help. He does when he’s home though.

I feel your pain, OP. I'm hiding out in my locked bedroom, just getting an hour of peace to myself... You are most definitely not alone!!

Not a parent myself but I cannot IMAGINE what parents are going through right now being as this is not a normal way to raise a family, and yet the pressure on families (especially mothers) to wear every hat AND be sane is immense. I do not blame you or any parent for how you are coping or not coping in all this. Sending love.