I actually dislike my children

[Thedarksideofthemoon30]

Iv had enough. I’m done parenting. I feel like I’m having a breakdown.

3 Dc aged 12,11 and 4.

All been arguing and just little shits for weeks. Trying to home school etc. I’m exhausted.

I said I was going to wash my hair which I haven’t done in over a week because Iv been feeling so depressed. As soon as I get in my middle child is screaming hysterically (he always fucking does it!!!)

I get out and they are all fighting downstairs. Apparently middle child was winding oldest up so they both sat on him.

I’m fuming and Iv lost it. Told them that I can’t stand them atm and I’m so disappointed that I can’t even have 5 mins to myself.

I’m so mentally drained.

@thedarksideofthemoon30 sorry to get sidetracked, I know you weren't asking about this but bpd in women can sometimes be undiagnosed adhd - if you think your son is on the spectrum have you considered the possibility that you may both have adhd? Google how undiagnosed adhd presents in females and see what you think.

Consequences and boundaries OP. I know that's hard when you're already exhausted. I would genuinely sit them down and write out the expectations and the consequences if they're not met. The older two should be able to entertain themselves without being dramatic, of course the younger might need guidance. No shouting, tell them their behaviour is unacceptable and isn't going to continue. Can DP help before work? Even so you can have a bath for an hour?

No, I don’t think I have adhd but his biological dad does. Xx

Thinking of you @Thedarksideofthemoon30 today. How are you feeling? I'm sat in my dressing gown whilst various kids flounce around deciding if they will engage in any school work today. Let us know how you get on-you are not alone. 3 kids is bloody hard-its my youngest who is really difficult-she just seems to like being a total knob sometimes and always has the last word. My eldest DS is 17 and he just picks her up and chucks her out of the room now if she starts on him...cue the screaming.

I hope you’re ok OP and that you get the support you need. Don’t be down on yourself - this lockdown is bringing things to a head for so many people. Can you talk to your dh about what you need in terms of feeling loved? Sometimes people need it spelled out to them. Also I wouldn’t worry about your dd’s rude message. I find when I’m mentally in a bad place, my kids can react with anger or bad behaviour, I think they are angry at us for not being ok. (Not that this makes your dd’s behaviour acceptable, it doesn’t). I think instead of telling your kids you feel unloved etc just tell your DH and other adults not the kids. To your kids you can just be reassuring “I’m finding this all very difficult, but don’t worry we are going to be fine” “dad is helping me and so is the doctor, I hope you’re ok too as this is hard for all of us”.
Your situation sounds particularly difficult with your dh working such long hours. Human beings aren’t supposed to live like this, so unsupported and cut off from normal life. I really hope you get good support and some time to yourself and some rest

I had a phone call with my gp who was lovely!!

He said he’s getting calls every day of people struggling and being depressed.

He’s put me on anti depressants which I have been on in the past.

I'm glad your GP was helpful.

Glad to hear it!

Hi OP

Just to say this whole situation is really shit and sending you unmumsnety hugs

What do people mean when they say stuff like ‘if I knew how haaaard it’d be, I wouldn’t have had kids’? All parents do is whine about how awful their lives are, do people think they’re joking? Or that it’ll be different for them? Believe what people say. Just another example of women’s voices being dismissed, and thousands more consumers bred each day 😔

I am totally with you. I have 3 (2 are boys) and the arguing and bickering and noise and screeching and putting their stuff and toys and clothes everywhere over the house is out of control.
I am at my wits end. Seriously, I am sliding into a hole. Feeling dispair this week. It’s not just you. You are doing an amazing job in this situation.
One foot I front of the other. Plod on. Keep going. They will go back to school. Just got to get there

@BumbleBiscuit

Parenting isn’t what people say it is. It’s largely thankless drudgery. Women should be more honest like this as a warning to others to think twice.

Nobody would believe them though unless they stopped at one child.

Littlewhitedove2,
Omg ,I couldn’t of said it better .

I actually enjoy being a mum BUT as per my comment up thread I make sure I make time for myself which others may consider selfish . I don’t really have the mum guilt thing many seem to though like when I see posts about being upset at having c sections or not being able to breast feed ( not judging them btw just I don’t understand feeling like that ) both of the above were me and I didn’t give it a second thought .

Love my dc more than anything on earth and they are happy and know they are loved and Well looked after but I also still have my own identity interests and make time for myself

Iv even being on holiday without my dc they were with their dad and fine

Men never seem to stress like this .. 🤔

Littlewhitedove2,
I only have 1 child, she will be 11 in 2 weeks and let me tell you she is a absolute nightmare with this online( home schooling).
She gets her lovely breakfast, lunch and then dinner later around 5/6pm but constantly asks me for snacks ?😬.
Seriously, it’s just ridiculous and I now know she isn’t hungry at all, she just wants to keep me busy .