Since the 8pm announcement I have...

[ilikexmas]

Cried
Had 3 cups of tea
Finished off the Xmas biscuits ( about 12 biscuits)
Cried again
Stared into space
Wrapped myself tightly in my duvet
Now I feel like crying again but will go to bed.

FML!!!

@Dontsayyouloveme

*spaceghetto

Daily Mail, Facebook, Mumsnet, Daily Mail, Facebook Mumsnet, Revels, Daily Mail, nuts, Facebook, cup of tea, Mumsnet*

Glad it’s not just me that surfs the internet like that!!! 😂🤣

Snap.

I didn’t drink which cheered me up.

However I stuck two fingers up to the massive amount of admin I needed to do tonight for my planning ( which was all written up with individual targets as required, all over Christmas ), the online lessons, the parent contact write ups and the proper lessons that start tomorrow but with a totally different set of children for however long this lasts for as mine are mostly working remotely.
I can’t even think about until tomorrow frankly. Utterly panicked.

And obviously as class sizes have been reduced the school is now safe. So that’s good

I read it @fucknuckle. I can do nothing to help but I’m so sorry your life is on hold and your surgery cancelled. I hope your vaccine comes soon and there is light at the end of the tunnel

Drank 2 glasses of prosecco
Drank 1 glass of wine
eaten 3 teaspoons of peanut butter
eaten a slice of cake
spoken to two friends on the phone
spent the rest of the time on mumsnet or flicked to you tube to watch Dr Pimple Popper to relax..
Avoided my family

Cheered me up

thank you @WillYouDoTheFandango , much appreciated.

Just remeber how you all feel now for when it's time to vote the fucker out!

Fiercely rowed with my 11 yo. She's been hideous. I know for a reason but I'm spent.

Did everything I shouldn't during said row. Now feel awful.

Taken sleeping pills, diazepam abs about to wash it down with a whisky

Due to be up at 6 for yoga (which is my only thing for me as single parent) and apparently I'm selfish and mean for daring to so do this. I'm ah bad parent for taking some vvv much needed self care. Fuck it if that happens tomorrow.

[quote lockdownfeelings]@Catsneezies it's a protein shake (milk of preference + protein powder of preference + stevia (optional)) made on the sauce pan with added cornflour to make it cream up while it cooks...it's warm, indulgent and addictive.Try![/quote]
Oooo that sounds nice and a good way to get your protein in. Thanks for the tip!

SOBBED MY HEART OUT because I don't know when I will be able to see my adult disabled son (21, non verbal with the mind of a baby). He's in adult residential care due to the high level of care he needs.
I haven't seen him since early November and he won't understand why. No-one can explain to him. To him his Mum has just disappeared from his life.
I am sole carer to my youngest child who has a different disability and a single parent to my younger children at home.

@thebearschairs
Diazapam AND whiskey?

I drink and occasionally need diazapam to sleep but no way in hell would I take them together.....wondering if your DD may be more worried at your coping strategies than angry...

@thebearschairs forgive yourself a little and next time don’t engage. I feel your pain my 11yo is similar and it’s so easy to get sucked into the argument when it’s a personal attack.

Need to remember she loves me really and is just struggling too without the ability to attack anyone but me (also a single mother of 3 and she has to share me with them and work which doesn’t go well).

I have to make myself ignore ignore ignore! You do your yoga!

Nat6999

Had to sit on my hands, because I want a drink, 3 years clean & tonight is stretching my willpower

That's is amazing, well done, I understand how much it has taken for you to be at this point. keep sitting on hands

Thanked my lucky stars that my job in mental health has always been pretty much wfh, save for care home/hospital/community client visits which will now be remote unless absolutely essential to visit in person. Hardly anything has changed for me.

Despaired for my SEN 4yr grandson who has just been referred to CAMHS and sees school as his little safe place and hugely benefits from it's structure and boundaries - not sure if he will qualify for a vulnerable child place but his younger sibling can still attend pre-school on the same site ..

I have a huge amount of empathy for working parents right now.

[quote PyongyangKipperbang]@thebearschairs
Diazapam AND whiskey?

I drink and occasionally need diazapam to sleep but no way in hell would I take them together.....wondering if your DD may be more worried at your coping strategies than angry...[/quote]

Err no. She's got no idea about my coping strategies. She sees none of it.

That post is really unhelpful

You'd be surprised. My kids knew more about my "coping" stategies than I realised, until I had got a handle on them and they told me. Broke my heart.

It was tough talking that made me realise just how bad I was.

I used to feel like you about mixing meds but I no longer care enough about myself sadly.

6am up yoga
Full day working on back to back calls to then spend evening rowing with kids about tricial matters. I could let it go but then in really am doing EVERYTHING in the house whilst the slob about.

FAILED PARENT

@PyongyangKipperbang

You'd be surprised. My kids knew more about my "coping" stategies than I realised, until I had got a handle on them and they told me. Broke my heart.

It was tough talking that made me realise just how bad I was.

Thanks for sharing that bit. V useful. X

Added LOTS of beer to the Ocado order, and some guinea pig food.
Opened bottle number three as we started at 3.00 due to the impending shit storm.
Purchased a new printer
Purchased hot chocolate
Purchased meds for the animals
Tried not to think about the implications.

Cried
Consoled one of my kids. Other one doesnt give a shit thankfully!
Muted the school WhatsApp thread.
Finished an assignment, great distraction.
Argued with DH.
Now going to get a vodka and watch Bridgerton!

3 cups of tea, ate the last of the stollen (there was a lot), a full packet of florentines, and fired off a few pissed off texts to people I know will share my misery.

Our children and young people have been fucked over and I'm angry and sick to the back teeth on their behalf.

Settled baby again.

Spoke to DC about how we'll manage yet another lockdown.
I'll cry later. I hate everything right now.

Said fuck a lot

Wished I could cry but thanks to antidepressants am unable to

Marvelled at my 10yr old ds whooping cos he gets loads of time off - completely unfazed by the covid part - oh to be a child!

Exchanged many depressed and furious messages with my equally depressed and furious friends.

Wondered when I'm actually going to see my mum again

Broke dry January with an Disaronno cream it was delicious.

Gone to bed and lying here staring into the void...

Used to feel that too. No longer.

I have one particularly troublesome one, he is 15 and frankly a complete arsehole. But so was his elder brother at the same age, he is now 30 and delight. My daughters (the 3 eldest) were also arseholes but they started younger, about 11, and became human by about 18.

Dreading my youngest hitting 11, as she is fantastic now at 9, I dread losing her for several years but keep the faith that she will come back to humanity as the others did.

You just have to ride it out. And stop doing their washing, that helps.

Self care matters. Do it. It will make such a massive difference

Ate dinner and layed my daughter in bed after she had dinner too now just sat on this app, it doesn't change my life as I don't go out unless for food or see my partner (he's my support bubble) but angry that I again can't see my nan but I had just seen her today and ft her everyday ❤️