Can we have an ASD/additional needs support thread?

[Namechange8471]

I thought posting here would be best for traffic.
Impending update at 8 has me worrying about more/longer school closures and the impact on my child.

I thought we could use this thread to vent or for advice. Or achievements dc have made despite the current circumstances.

I'll go first,

Dd is 12 and autistic, 'high functioning', she was really dissapointed not to return to school.
She has made great progress since starting in September, even making new friends which is a huge deal for her.

She does well with zoom lessons, however struggles with set tasks. I have tried sitting with her however she tends to get stressed if she doesn't get something right the first time.

How is everyone's dcs coping? Any tips to help me or others?

Hi all! Today’s meltdown was from my NT child! She’s really struggling with her hormones and mental health and absolutely lost it... bit me, kicked me and hit her brother. My asd/adhd is struggling because he needs full one on one and I’m working full time from home also Feel like I’m failing everyone right now

@Squeejit

Same here *@Lovemusic33*. It’s all well within his ability, but he just won’t do it. Today he lost it over maths because he was entering graph co/ordinates into Mathswatch and it was marking him wrong because he’d missed the brackets. There was swearing, slamming the laptop shut, punching his leg. Once we figured it out he had a 20 minute rant about how the site is programmed, what’s the point in brackets, etc etc. So much fuss over a small detail 😕

To be fair, today I was ranting about the app that dd is using, dd was sent a practice exam paper so I thought it would be best to print it so dd could get used to sitting it as an exam rather than on the iPad, eventually got her to do it and then I had to try and take a photo of each page and upload it onto the app, this was pretty hard as the app kept taking one page as the response for the whole paper, I had a bit of a meltdown and in the end I just added a note to it complaining about the app 😂. It’s pretty hard trying to write, draw on graphs etc though the app and using a iPad. I’m not great with tech and if I do something wrong dd has a massive meltdown.

Thank you I feel less alone, other parents with only NT children don’t understand our struggles. I feel sorry for my older NT child as there is little left to give after ASD child and work. I try to balance my time and attention but feeling like I’m failing.

Xdown. My mum is missing me ringing...just so taken up with the kids autism and my sleep has gone to pot, had several meltdowns ( DD keeps dropping her pen on the desk, like torture) can't organise myself..

I have no idea if I am autistic as I was too fucking unable to fill in and send back the forms, went into meltdown mode for the best part of a month and am too stressed to chase it up.

@BlackeyedSusan

Xdown. My mum is missing me ringing...just so taken up with the kids autism and my sleep has gone to pot, had several meltdowns ( DD keeps dropping her pen on the desk, like torture) can't organise myself..

I have no idea if I am autistic as I was too fucking unable to fill in and send back the forms, went into meltdown mode for the best part of a month and am too stressed to chase it up.

Pretty sure I have ASD or ADHD but I have no diagnosis. Yesterday’s issues with the schooling app sent me over the edge.

I need to work for a couple hours this morning (out of the house) so I have to take dd with me or leave her with Dd1. We then have to try and catch up with yesterday’s work and today’s, she has a story to write for English and we have to do her art homework now we have paint, hopefully now much more will be sent today 😥.

My DD is 6 with ASD. She has an EHCP and is still in school. She is loving school being quieter.

DS is 4 in preschool, his EHCP got issued this week. His preschool is closed until next week and he is climbing the walls

Hi! So glad to find this thread.
DS(8) is on the pathway to ASD and ADHD diagnosis.
He can get really focused on his special interests (currently history, communism and a complex imaginary world called "kids country") but struggles to maintain concentration on school work.
I did not help matters by enrolling him in Gaelic school and making him fail to concentrate in his second language.... but that's another story.
Last lockdown we ignored the work the school sent (too hard, not inspiring and never marked) and just put him on Reading Eggs.
He now reads for pleasure in English which I count as a massive achievement given where we started out from.
This time around Id like to have him do a little Night Zookeeper each day and improve his writing. But I suspect school will expect more of us.
I'm dreading the idea of having to put him online at specific times and enforce specific tasks that don't work for him.

I think I will just continue to do what's been working for us so far. And I suspect this situation will end in us home schooling permenantly.

I’m just doing what I know works for my two, the head teacher offered me a couple of days school for them both which I’m going to take up - my daughter particularly had a terrible time going back after last lockdown so I’m hoping having some school will help her transition back full time. It’ll also help me with my work - it doesn’t cover all my hours but my boss will come and go with the rest so I don’t feel like I’m taking the piss quite so much. Much relieved cos I’m due to start live teaching next week which would be fun with my two needing constant support and supervision.

Morning everyone.

Having an arrrggghh morning here already after an ok ish last two days ( probably because I took annual leave). Eldest doesn’t want to engage at all today unless I stand in the room ( but not in view!) watching him. He’s also discovered the private chat function which is a disaster. Alternating with telling me random stuff not remotely related to the lesson. I’m meant to be working and haven’t been able to do anything yet. His poor younger brother (Y1) is having to muddle along by himself.

Just feel so stressed in all bits of my body.

I am very lucky though as school have offered him 3 days a week from next week - feel a bit jumpy about it but think he really needs to go in. They have also said my youngest can go in too if it makes it easier which is amazing but need to consider whether to take it up.

I have found my people.

DS 13 has been going into school while I have been at work this week (social care) but is off today and is unhappy with the arrangement. I know he wont do any work while he is at home, so we are planning a walk later. At the moment he is stimming in his bedroom, turning around and around in circles and muttering the names of Peppa Pig characters.

He is in school 4 days again next week so hoping being back on Monday will cheer him up. He likes both being at school and being at home, but doesnt like the unpredictability of his place being governed by my rota.

Gone to pot already today. I might just have an early weekend

Morning everyone, hope you are all doing ok. As mentioned in my previous post I was offered a place for DS, I did decide to accept it in the end but still not 100% on it being the right thing. He's much better with the routine though. Very happy, spent a lot of time last night running back and forth with a broom in his own little world, and generally seeming a bit extra hyper.

@littlestpogo what’s your jumpyness (is that a word) about. I only ask because I’ve really swithered about sending mine in. Part of me wants them home and I know I can do some work with them here, I don’t want to overload the school and I’m worried about the virus. Part of me knows they’ll benefit from some school contact and it’ll certainly make it easier for my daughter to go back full time and part of me really does need time to work, there are parts of my job which is nearly impossible to do with them at home. On balance I’m sending them in for the shortest time possible, the school are very tight on Covid measures and I trust their teachers but it’s not that easy a decision really.

@Jellycatspyjamas - pretty much the same. Also as a single parent I am a bit concerned about getting covid and being really unwell and who would look after the kids ( feels different to other illnesses when I’d prob call on friends as a last resort).

Also a little about his learning as the teacher in class is doing live lesson online and to the class at the same time so he won’t have support to focus. His behaviour really deteriorated if he feels he can’t understand stuff.

I think on balance it will be better for him through - also worried he will be so anxious if he is out for too long he would school refuse again. 3 days seems a good balance.

My youngest I’m really not sure about -he doesn’t need to be in so I feel a bit guilty about that ( he couldn’t be more opposite to my eldest - loves learning, can focus independently and do his work even in year 1!).

And also my work have been fab but it’s so hard to work with them here - so there is that to balance as well!

I think it doesn’t help that there’s so much bad feeling around parents sending their kids to school - some of the discussions here have been very bad tempered so making the right decision for your family is even harder.

You could see how he gets on and change your mind if it’s not working - easier to put him in now and take him out later than keep him home and find there’s no space when you really need it.

I too have an incredibly flexible employee which helps a lot but I feel I exhausted that flexibility last time round.

My 18 yr ASD son has been waiting for this all his life, no being forced out, having to mix. He's still in touch with his friends online nattering away. He's at agriculture college so Only thing he's missing are the practical lessons.

Hi everyone hope you don’t mind if I join in

I’ve got 3 ASD adhd family at home, DH who turned the dining room into an office back in March and never left

Dd 18 who is in year 12 and has been at internet school for the past 6 years, she’s long since developed her groove but is put out about the others being here in school time

Ds17 who is also in year 12 but until now was at his regular school,which having moved all lessons online is now home. Ds is the one who is not settling mostly because he thinks he can push boundaries by doing other than school stuff in school hours

One thing I’ve found over the years with dd at internet school is that routine is paramount, DH even finds putting his work clothes on helps him define between home and work so to speak

All of the family have their own work areas with noise cancelling headphones, I put out mid morning snacks and lay lunches out ready for lunch time

Sadly with ds we’ve also had to block internet access to all non school related electronics from 9-4 as he gets pressure from friends to game, but then I’m still training him to work in school hours

@notapizzaeater

My 18 yr ASD son has been waiting for this all his life, no being forced out, having to mix. He's still in touch with his friends online nattering away. He's at agriculture college so Only thing he's missing are the practical lessons.

My eldest is the same, she’s loving not having to socialise face to face, she talks to friends online and would probably happily live in her room for the whole lockdown.

Dd2 woke up at 3am this morning - not great. We managed a zoom assembly, that was a little bonkers, a trip to the park and playing with the teaset. She's in her room with her sensory tent. We're just going slowly and doing little bits and pieces. The early start meant we weren't ever going to manage much today.

I quit while I was ahead today. Got both of them through the morning check-in which was an hour back to back.
Then set up DS1 and resourced him through bitesize tasks on the same theme as the work the teacher set. Then got DS2 back. No meltdowns, just low level grumbling. Left it at that and went back to bed. Hopefully my hormones are now past their peak which should help into next week.
I just want to hibernate until April.

Awful day today, currently in bed crying listening to dp and dd arguing. Dd gas chewed through all the pens and her attitude is disgusting

I'm beginning to regret falling pregnant, how on earth am I going to cope.

It's all too much at the moment.

@Namechange8471

Awful day today, currently in bed crying listening to dp and dd arguing. Dd gas chewed through all the pens and her attitude is disgusting

I'm beginning to regret falling pregnant, how on earth am I going to cope.

It's all too much at the moment.

Sending you a big hug

The work keeps getting sent and I’m struggling to get dd to engage. School called and said they need to keep track of how much work students are accessing and it’s important she tries to complete all work sent 😡, they are going to call back next week.

I’m still having a meltdown with the app and next week they are adding another app (google classroom type thing) for live lessons. I haven’t got a clue how I’m expected to homeschool, get her watching live lessons and manage to work my part time job. Dd will be at my mums on Monday whilst I work and won’t have access to internet so no access to her work. We are quite far behind with work, lots we haven’t done and a lot that I don’t feel is appropriate for her anyway.

Anyway it’s the weekend so let’s try and relax and forget about the school work for 2 days, start again Monday x

namechange, I hope today is better for you.

Dd2 is not impressed that her big, splashy puddles in the park are all icy and slippery today.

Hi I'm a mum of three ( I suspect I have asd) and all three have additional needs. 2 with dcd and one with asd/pda/dcd but is very aggressive :( the last lockdown nearly broke me and I almost had a breakdown. My dd with vcb as much as she hates school was just so violent and the other two wouldn't home school so I gave it up as it wasn't worth it mentally. (Yes bad mum right here!) I am very fortunate as they are all in school this time as one has ehcp and the other two are classed as vulnerable. The amount of comments and judgement I have had is appalling. I have been shunned at the school gates by a lot as they see me as sahm. They have no idea how shit things have been. So a hug to all of you as this pandemic has thrown sen kids and families out to sea x