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Original poster

Can’t believe what a friend asked me to do

118 replies

NikkyD · 30/12/2020 07:16

So one of my closest childhood friends messaged me a few days ago asking for a favour. She is in a new relationship and her and the boyfriend booked a hotel and were due to stay last night. She messaged me Christmas Eve asking would it be ok if she used my address for the booking. You see she only lives a few miles from my house, not far at all, but technically her area is tier 3, and the new boyfriend lives down south and is also in tier 3. She told me they’re desperate for some alone time as his kids and her youngest son won’t let them have a moments peace never mind anything else (if you get my drift). Now for a minute I felt for them as me and dh have a toddler so it’s rare we get any time on our own, even before covid, but my gut instinct was to tell her no. Anyway she got really uppity with me and said it’s no big deal they just want some time together. Basically trying to make me feel bad. Anyway I said no and that was that but technically if I had have said yes would it have been illegal? Like falsifying of some sort? Just curious really. Oh and then she text me last night saying thanks for ruining her night. Seriously!

OP posts:
LyndaSnellsSniff · 30/12/2020 08:48

Nah, she was in the wrong. She put you in an awkward position and even though you refused her she’s still causing you grief. You didn’t ask for this and now because you (quite rightly) refused, she has made it all you fault!

She’s a rule-breaking CF.

LunaNorth · 30/12/2020 08:49

God, the things people will do when they’re desperate for a shag.

We’re just chimps really aren’t we? Grin

Flapjak · 30/12/2020 08:50

I would have said no on the basis of track and trace. Its not wrong of her to ask as a friend if she is that desparate (lots of people are breaking the rules and still judging others for doing so), but its not respecting of you friendship to be annoyed at you for saying no

MaryLeeOnHigh · 30/12/2020 08:50

@laidbacklife

It’s guidance, not the law. If I were her I’d just have used any old address though. No one is going to check.
Nope, it's the law.
EdithWeston · 30/12/2020 08:52

@Tinabn

We are in Tier 2, yesterday several pubs, cafes and hotels announced they were closing due to staff being intimidated by people from tiers 3 and 4. COVID cases are rising and we have an elderly population and one hospital. You did the right thing.
I can make a decent guess where you are.

And yes, this is worrying

RedPickledCabbage · 30/12/2020 08:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Xerochrysum · 30/12/2020 08:55

@userxx

I'd have said yes. What the big deal.
Can't believe I read that. So the pandemic must go on....
Original poster
NikkyD · 30/12/2020 08:58

Well seeing as I would never ask anyone if I could do this and I doubt any of my other friends or family members would either then yes I can’t believe it.

OP posts:
SmileyClare · 30/12/2020 08:59

She asked, you said no. She said Ok "no big deal". That should have been the end of it. I wouldn't condemn a friend for asking.

The unbelievable thing is her second text claiming you've "ruined things". There was no need for a load of drama and attempting to emotionally blackmail you I think is far worse than giving a fake address. How childish.

ChaToilLeam · 30/12/2020 09:02

YANBU. She was right out of order. Where I live (not UK), people can be and have been prosecuted for giving false tracing details.

Whatisthepoint10 · 30/12/2020 09:04

I would refuse too. It’s illegal to provide false details and it could turn out that someone will find out - could be bank checking security later or some mismatch. And you would be entangled into it

LavenderBee · 30/12/2020 09:11

She shouldn’t have put you in that position but then to text you saying you had ruined their night... I don’t have any friends that would do that... not nice of her, I’d be giving her a wide berth op

KaptainKaveman · 30/12/2020 09:14

[quote userxx]@KaptainKaveman So it's "selfish" to be concerned for a friend. Righto. You're one of those that can't see past the end of their own nose. [/quote]
That's another deeply stupid comment userxx. My concern is for the wider community which is why I deem it important to abide by the law which is designed to curtail the spread of the virus. I'm sure even the simplest of people can grasp this .

It's thinking it's acceptable to break the rules so the friend can have a shag which is near sighted and 'not being able to see beyond the end of one's nose'.

HTH.

randomer · 30/12/2020 09:19

I am in tier 3 and I had to use a hotel in a tier 2 area. Trust ,me it was not for pleasure. I phoned the hotel and told the truth, they were happy to book me in . Its a farce.

Charlie63849 · 30/12/2020 09:23

I’d have said yes too

userxx · 30/12/2020 09:28

@KaptainKaveman Of course it's for the wider community 🤣🤣. You're all heart. You're going to need a new hobby once this virus has passed.

SmileyClare · 30/12/2020 09:31

The risks are relatively low to staying overnight just outside a tier. That's why it is allowed for work, volunteering commitments, needing accommodation to attend a funeral, to provide volunteering services, to provide care, for education or if you're an elite athlete attending training or competitions out of your tier.

Obviously, the exemptions don't cover "Wanting a shag" but I'm just illustrating how Staying in a hotel in tier 2 is not against the rules in many circumstances.

ExConstance · 30/12/2020 09:31

I'd have said no but suggested she just make up an address. The boundaries between tiers in some areas are ridiculous. In the midland county where my brother lives the boundary follows the county boundaries which undulate. He is fortunate enough to live in a tiny tier 2 intrusion into an otherwise tier 3 area. The two pubs that are nearest to him, one a mile north, one a mile south are closed but it he goes 1/2 a mile further each way they are open. In the nearest tier 3 villages there has never been a case of Covid, but in his tier 2 area there have been cases. I think that sometimes you have to do your own risk assessments.

applegreenpetrol · 30/12/2020 09:37

@MaryLeeOnHigh it's not law, it's guidance (for tier 3). We took legal advice in this respect (work in hospitality).

Suzi888 · 30/12/2020 09:41

It’s just guidance. No one would hunt you down and arrest you. But it was cheeky to put you in that position.

2020isalmosthindsight · 30/12/2020 09:42

Your friend is part of this country's attitude problem, frankly.

You did the right thing.

Xerochrysum · 30/12/2020 09:42

userxx, I am quite sad you think thinking about wider community is a joke, or something to laugh about. Are we ever going to get out of this soon enough, if everyone think like you?

MaryLeeOnHigh · 30/12/2020 09:43

@applegreenpetrol, you need to update your advice. It comes under The Health Protection (Coronavirus, Restrictions) (All Tiers) (England) Regulations 2020 which constitute the law, not guidance.

Emeraldeyes20 · 30/12/2020 09:52

That’s awful to put you in that position and then have the audacity to be off with you as you wouldn’t comply . I would never ask this of my long term friends .

madcatladyforever · 30/12/2020 09:55

People are getting tetchy all over the place because of covid. I darent talk to anyone at the moment I just get my head bitten off.
She had no right to go into a childish strop though.

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