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Original poster

Another “angry with the neighbours for flouting the rules” thread

131 replies

MrsExpo · 21/12/2020 18:25

My neighbours are both police officers - the husband is quite senior in rank. We are in Tier 3. This afternoon, their DD has arrived for christmas, clearly intending to stay for a while. She lives and works in central London, where she lives with a long term partner (he hasn’t come, as far as I know)...... What the hell is the point of having rules? Speechless really ..... Angry

OP posts:
Athinginitself · 21/12/2020 22:49

Quite possibly they are just breaking the rules, but we often dont know private and intimate details of peoples lives, why would you know if she was struggling with her mental health, had just had a miscarriage or has had a blazing row with her partner or all the other myriad reasons people might have to feel they need support or to be their parents. My parents neighbours certainly dont know those kind of private details about me. Ideally we'd all follow the rules to the letter or beyond, but most people even sensible people have at least once made their own assessment of risk because of something they want or feel they need to do. It's not necessarily right but it is what it is.
I'm staying overnight at my parents over xmas, they live too far for me to drive there and back in a day as i have a health condition, my mum is on her knees with her mental health for various complex reasons, the neighbours dont know that, or why I cant do the drive in one day.

Defenbaker · 21/12/2020 23:12

I know a retired couple in their mid sixties, who are having 3 adult children, plus their partners, to stay with them over Christmas. Some of them are travelling from a tier 4 area. I expressed concern about whether this was wise, but the conversation was abruptly ended with "We've made our decision - it'll be fine!" I think they're taking an unnecessary risk, and perhaps it won't be fine, but I won't say anything further or get worked up about it. Also, I can see the dilemma when there are 3 adult children all wanting to return to their parents for Christmas - who do they exclude?

I wish people would be more careful, it seems silly to take risks now, when the vaccine will be given to millions in the new year. But I guess people just have to make their own risk assessments and live with their decisions. Or not, if their luck runs out.

BubblyBarbara · 22/12/2020 00:16

Keep your beak out I reckon. Millions will be ignoring these rules and keeping quiet about it. It makes no difference if my two DD are here for one day or two in my opinion

ClaireP20 · 22/12/2020 00:22

My parents are travelling from London to Leeds to see and stay with my sister and her husband over Christmas. To anyone else this is terrible. But this is my sister's last Christmas. You mustn't jump to conclusions OP.

Mumisnotmyonlyname · 22/12/2020 05:39

"As far as I know". Not enough evidence to accuse. Maybe she is in a single person support bubble.

Choirbells · 22/12/2020 06:57

Nobody cares if people are breaking the rules because most people on this thread are breaking the rules and carrying on with their plans.
They are the selfish ones op,
They are the reason we continue to be in this mess, you try and do the right thing by following the rules and you just get shouted at on here.
Mumsnet truly is awful.

OverTheRainbow88 · 22/12/2020 07:00

@Choirbells

Hear hear

PhilCornwall1 · 22/12/2020 07:06

What the hell is the point of having rules? Speechless really .....

So you can twitch your curtains, become "incandescent with rage" and grab your phone to start another pointless thread on unreasonable neighbours.

Still, it's funny to see how wound up people get after all this time.

RealityNotEssentialism · 22/12/2020 07:26

Grow up. You do realise that many of the ‘legal’ things are far more likely to spread the virus than visiting relatives right? For instance, going to the shop, having kids in school or childcare, using public transport etc. Someone who had a test or took precautions prior to visiting relatives will not give them Covid if that person doesn’t have Covid. Some people seem to find that hard to grasp and act as if seeing a friend or family member is akin to attempted murder.

Also it doesn’t sound like you’re close to the family. You sound like a judgemental nosy neighbour. Why would they even tell you if she had relationship issues? Even if not, maybe her partner is seeing family separately (perhaps to provide care) so otherwise she would be completely on her own for Christmas and would be isolated. Unless you’re also completely on your own for Christmas, you should zip it. The ones fanatical about these rules are always people who live with family and are sorted themselves, yet they’re shocked and speechless that other people find isolation difficult.

Watermelon888 · 22/12/2020 07:27

@user1486131602

They are allowed one other household, their daughter, to visit over Xmas Please just make sure you are safe, stuff what they do! Health is wealth!
They’re allowed one other household to visit on Christmas Day only aren’t they? And not anyone from tier 4?

Wow can’t believe how many people think it’s ok to ignore this!

RealityNotEssentialism · 22/12/2020 07:29

@Choirbells

Nobody cares if people are breaking the rules because most people on this thread are breaking the rules and carrying on with their plans. They are the selfish ones op, They are the reason we continue to be in this mess, you try and do the right thing by following the rules and you just get shouted at on here. Mumsnet truly is awful.
LOL do you genuinely think the virus will go away quicker if we have a lockdown? How dim are you? It’s just to ease pressure on health services and we just had a lockdown a few weeks ago and now here we are. So no, any future lockdown we may have will not be due to people not following ‘the roolz’. It will be due to the virus, which will continue to be present whether we lock down or not.
allthatglittersaint · 22/12/2020 07:40
  • Frankly I think we need a proper lockdown. Too many people are not following the rules and are putting others at risk.

The rule should be- unless you are a key worker, stay the fuck at home at all times.

None of this outdoor 'exercise', meeting other households for a 'walk' (which is even allowed in tier 4 for some reason ), or trips to the Range.

Each household should be allocated one supermarket trip per week to be used for buying essentials only- not gin and chocolate

I'd also like to see something similar to the French system where people have to carry a form every time they leave home.

I would support a financial reward system for good Samaritans who report neighbours who do not stay at home.

There should be £1000 fines for rule breakers.

We would soon be able to eradicate the virus if people followed the rules and stayed the fuck at home.*

You're bonkers.

TheGreatWave · 22/12/2020 08:03

@Choirbells

Nobody cares if people are breaking the rules because most people on this thread are breaking the rules and carrying on with their plans. They are the selfish ones op, They are the reason we continue to be in this mess, you try and do the right thing by following the rules and you just get shouted at on here. Mumsnet truly is awful.
Probably most people are following the rules, they just don't feel the need to shout about it.

Secondly in this situation, the OP does not know why the daughter is there, it may be a perfectly legitimate reason (as in allowed for in the guidelines) it might not, but if it is the former then don't add to their situation, and the latter is not going to be solved by standing at the window.

Hoardes of people or a rave in the garage the OP may have a fair point, but not for one daughter without knowing the ins and outs.

Obviously, unless the OP has changed details because "it is too outing" and it is actually her parents and sister. Not that that makes it better.

"As far as I know". Not enough evidence to accuse.

Absolutely. I'm not saying that this is what is at play here, but he may well be abusing her, the reason many victims of DV aren't believed is because all looks rosy from the outside.

My response would be "Goodness, I hope she is ok." Not "Evil rule breaker."

LadyLazaruss · 22/12/2020 08:05

So no, any future lockdown we may have will not be due to people not following ‘the roolz’. It will be due to the virus, which will continue to be present whether we lock down or not.

This. Fat lot of good the other lockdowns did.

likeamillpond · 22/12/2020 08:24

I suppose all the government can do is advise us what To do and Hope that the majority of people will abide by the rules.
They probably always knew that some individuals will take the piss and only think of themselves.

I think there are a lot of decent people out there, doing their best to stick to the rules who are not making a fuss about it.

alltheadrenalin · 22/12/2020 08:25

I couldn't get mad about this, mind your business

Pinotwoman82 · 22/12/2020 12:09

Choirbells
Actually I’m following all the rules to the letter, and most things you can do I haven’t! I haven’t been to a restaurant/pub for example since March. However I’m adult enough to realise that my circumstances are not the same as everyone else’s and unless they are having a rave nobody knows exactly everyone else’s circumstances

PerveenMistry · 22/12/2020 12:11

@lazylinguist

What is the point of these threads, honestly? Yes they are breaking the rules. That's what some people do. Curtain twitchery and inviting other people to join you in being cross about it on the internet just spreads bad feeling and achieves absolutely nothing.
I think it's interesting to share anecdotes of rule-breaking. This virus isn't spreading without the help of millions of selfish, entitled assholes.

The rest of us need these reminders about what we're up against.

PerveenMistry · 22/12/2020 12:12

[quote OverTheRainbow88]@Orangeblossom77777

Police who might well have been spat at and worked hard throughout this?

Doesn’t mean they can then do what they please.
I’ve worked very hard throughout doesn’t mean I can then break the rules as a reward.

This should be a collective effort. Which clearly it’s not, which is why we are fucked[/quote]

Exactly.

If public employees flout the laws & policies they are sworn to uphold, it's extra-noteworthy.

RealityNotEssentialism · 22/12/2020 12:14

This virus isn't spreading without the help of millions of selfish, entitled assholes

Lol, yes it is. Most of the spread comes from activities that are completely legal such as going to school or work.

SmileyClare · 22/12/2020 12:18

@RealityNotEssentialism

This virus isn't spreading without the help of millions of selfish, entitled assholes

Lol, yes it is. Most of the spread comes from activities that are completely legal such as going to school or work.

Agree it's a warped mindset.

The next step is calling everyone who has caught covid, perhaps in a hospital bed "a selfish asshole" because they should have been more careful.

DurhamDurham · 22/12/2020 15:13

This virus isn't spreading without the help of millions of selfish, entitled assholes

A daughter going home to her parents for Christmas. They aren't hosting an illegal rave Hmm

Watermelon888 · 22/12/2020 15:26

“Lol, yes it is. Most of the spread comes from activities that are completely legal such as going to school or work.“

At least if it is school the spread should slow now?

Watermelon888 · 22/12/2020 15:27

Whereas if it’s more a case of spreading in homes, cases will rocket. We will have to wait and see.

PusheenLove · 22/12/2020 15:42

@Chloemol

Don’t worry op, all these people saying mind your own business will be changing their minds when we go into full on lockdown pm schools closed etc
What's the motives of the "mind your own business" brigade?

Don't believe Covid is real?
Hate Government?
Low risk themselves so doesn't matter?
Extreme liberal?

Other law breaking wouldn't be viewed this way.