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Original poster

Making isolating 13 yr old not leave her room for 10 days!!

565 replies

novaparty12 · 14/12/2020 18:43

My niece is 13 and on Friday she was told to isolate by her school as the girl she sits next to tested positive. She lives in London where transmission is really high. I spoke to MIL today who said that my SIL has told her she is not allowed out of her room apart from going to the toilet or having a shower. All meals are left outside her door for her to collect and my SIL went shopping and spend £50 on snacks and drinks so she doesn't have to leave her room. MIL is really worried about her she keeps phoning her in tears. My SIL is autistic and takes everything very very seriously but surely confining a 13 yr old to her room for 10 days is going a bit far isn't it??

OP posts:
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TracyBeakerSoYeah · 14/12/2020 20:13

It is ridiculous & very cruel & I did not make my child stay in the one room when her school bubble burst.
I wouldn't have even done that if my child had tested positive.

bookworm14 · 14/12/2020 20:16

I am a parent in London and it absolutely bloody isn’t the norm for primary age children to be shut in their rooms for two weeks. Honestly, has everyone taken leave of their senses? Some people are going to look back in a year or two and wonder what the fuck they were thinking.

Offtothedogs · 14/12/2020 20:16

Fucking hell. I can't believe what I'm reading. A lot of people have well and truly lost all sense of perspective and a fair bit of their humanity too. For fuck's sake.

Viviennemary · 14/12/2020 20:17

No that is not necessary. My understanding is that if she has no symptons she must not leave the house. Not that she must stay in her room. Guidelines have been extremrly confusing.

Jourdain11 · 14/12/2020 20:17

@MitziK

I teach in London, and it certainly is the norm

What the fuck? No it bloody isn't and if somebody told me that was happening to a kid, I'd be firing up CPOMS before the call ended.

Too right it isn't. I, also, live in London and I don't know one single person who has done this with their kids. Also... quite a lot of kids in London share bedrooms. My two DDs do. So that would make a single-person isolation tricky.
RickOShay · 14/12/2020 20:17

This is nuts!!
The whole family does not need to self isolate. The dd just needs to stay at home for 12 days.

MacDuffsMuff · 14/12/2020 20:17

@Bluegreen70

This is completely normal. Children all over the UK are in this situation. Any child sent home to self isolate who has siblings, or vulnerable family members. We expect any children we send home to be confined to their rooms. Toilet use excepted, but the toilet will need to be cleaned very thoroughly after they have used it. If there are two toilets in the house, then one for the isolator, and one for everyone else in the family.

At 13, she just has to suck it up.Primary school children are coping

What nonsense. What kind of school do you work in where this is what is expected? When we have classes which have to isolate, we certainly don't expect children to be locked in their rooms. If, as a school, this is what you are advising parents to do, I suggest you read and actually try to understand the guidelines. In my school, we expect common sense to be used. DH's school is the same, as are all the others in the area.

If you really do work in a school, your attitude genuinely concerns me.

Frazzled2207 · 14/12/2020 20:19

The guidelines are that you don’t leave the house not that you stay in your room.

If she was positive it would be wise to try and keep a distance if possible but no way would any child of mine be by themselves in their room for 19 days unless entirely voluntarily, whether they were self isolating or positive

@Bluegreen70 it really is not the norm

PurpleMustang · 14/12/2020 20:20

Oh no that is awful. Stay inside the house and garden yes but room no, only if she had symptoms. Most come out with symptoms in about 5 days, could you make her compromise/see sense past this if she has no symptoms. Or i would persuade her mum to actually go online, lie and say she has a cough and get her a test.

Jourdain11 · 14/12/2020 20:21

@MacDuffsMuff maybe it's a secure unit? Wink

CodenameVillanelle · 14/12/2020 20:22

@RickOShay

This is nuts!! The whole family does not need to self isolate. The dd just needs to stay at home for 12 days.
Ten days now
Vargas · 14/12/2020 20:22

So cruel, that poor girl.

MacDuffsMuff · 14/12/2020 20:23

I teach in London, and it certainly is the norm.

@Bluegreen70 Where on earth do you teach in London? I also teach in London, as does DH and many of our friends and it is absolutely NOT the norm. Why are you passing on such misinformation?

PurpleMustang · 14/12/2020 20:23

Or as a last resort if her mum won't see sense i would go and rescue her and take her home

Skade · 14/12/2020 20:23

@Offtothedogs

Fucking hell. I can't believe what I'm reading. A lot of people have well and truly lost all sense of perspective and a fair bit of their humanity too. For fuck's sake.
You took the words right out of my mouth - I'm astounded by what I'm reading and feel horrified that people think this is in any way acceptable.
MessAllOver · 14/12/2020 20:23

It may be reasonable for older teenagers to isolate alone in their bedrooms in some circumstances but I'm amazed that people are suggesting withdrawing basic care and supervision from children as young as five. Children that age and older have died or been seriously injured in accidents in the home such as falling from high windows or accidental strangulation on blind cords or dressing gown ties. They should not be left unsupervised for long periods of time.

canigooutyet · 14/12/2020 20:24

Potentially the girl has CV. She chills out with the family. The family go about doing their business, work, school, shopping etc.

Four days later, oh positive test, and another family member now has symptoms. That person during those 4 days has been in close contact with other people?

Now had the girl (and an adult depending on the age and needs of the girl) SI how many people would have been put at risk unneccesarily when there were other viable options?

This is nothing new, hearing that families forced into this situation daily, are called monsters, cruel, abusive and more is sad.

MacDuffsMuff · 14/12/2020 20:24

[quote Jourdain11]@MacDuffsMuff maybe it's a secure unit? Wink[/quote]
Grin

HelenaJustina · 14/12/2020 20:24

My 13yr old finished day 10 today, she sat next to a child with a positive test result. Other than encouraging her siblings not to climb all over her etc, she just stayed in the house and garden for the entire time. Locking her in a room for 10 days (when she has not developed any symptoms at any point) would have been cruel and unnecessary.

Bollss · 14/12/2020 20:25

@canigooutyet

Potentially the girl has CV. She chills out with the family. The family go about doing their business, work, school, shopping etc.

Four days later, oh positive test, and another family member now has symptoms. That person during those 4 days has been in close contact with other people?

Now had the girl (and an adult depending on the age and needs of the girl) SI how many people would have been put at risk unneccesarily when there were other viable options?

This is nothing new, hearing that families forced into this situation daily, are called monsters, cruel, abusive and more is sad.

Best get writing to Boris as you obviously know better
MistletoeandGin · 14/12/2020 20:27

This is nothing new, hearing that families forced into this situation daily, are called monsters, cruel, abusive and more is sad

The key word there is ‘forced’. Yes, it’s horrific that people are forced in to that situation.
Doesn’t mean it’s acceptable to put your children in that situation when not forced.
There is literally nothing that can change my mind on this. I would not (and did not) isolate my child when they were self isolation. I would not (and did not) isolate my child who had symptoms. I would not isolate a child who tested positive.
And I believe that to do so is cruel.

Malteserlover50 · 14/12/2020 20:30

My oldest son is in the vulnerable category. I have told his siblings if any of us get notification to self isolate because we have been in touch with someone who has tested positive we will be self isolating in our room. It’s only for 10 days

RaspberryCoulis · 14/12/2020 20:30

My child of that age has had to self-isolate. The first two days were the weekend and he stayed in his room pretty much the whole time. But on the Monday when his siblings were at school he was free to come downstairs, use the kitchen, play with his guinea pigs, chat to me as I baked... we maintained social distance but he wasn't excluded from the family at all. After about a week he asked for a hug so I gave him a cuddle. Refusing a child a hug is inhumane.

NeurologicallySpeaking · 14/12/2020 20:32

@Chessie678

If anyone had suggested locking a child in their room for two weeks pre-covid for any reason including as a punishment or to protect the household from flu etc. there would have been a consensus that it is abuse and if a school had heard about this they would have (quite rightly) reported to social services. We don't treat most criminals in prison like this.

I would find this kind of isolation for two weeks very difficult as a fairly introverted adult. To do this to a 13 year old is inhumane and could potentially have very severe and long term mental health consequences.

It is sickening that people, particularly teachers, are describing children as snowflakes or lacking resilience or petals etc. because they would might struggle to cope with two weeks' solitary confinement. Children can appear resilient to all sorts of abuse but that isn't a reason to abuse them.

A teacher. Most teachers on this thread are horrified at those wanting to lock young children away and talking about referring to social services ...
SnailortheWhale · 14/12/2020 20:33

This thread has honestly chilled me. The idea that there are grown adults out there who are shutting children and young teenagers away in their rooms alone for a couple of weeks makes me feel sick. If anyone is genuinely doing that and not just trolling then you need locking up yourselves. Even at 18+ I would question that, but suggesting it’s acceptable for primary aged children is fucked up beyond much I’ve read on MN.

Be prepared for your children to tell you, once they’re adults, quite how they feel about you for doing that to them. It’s abuse and anyone who does it is a monster, end of. Get a grip and isolate yourself for the foreseeable if you can’t cope with the implications of being a parent and part of a family unit. I’m going to stop reading now because this has honestly upset me horribly.

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