Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Making isolating 13 yr old not leave her room for 10 days!!

565 replies

novaparty12 · 14/12/2020 18:43

My niece is 13 and on Friday she was told to isolate by her school as the girl she sits next to tested positive. She lives in London where transmission is really high. I spoke to MIL today who said that my SIL has told her she is not allowed out of her room apart from going to the toilet or having a shower. All meals are left outside her door for her to collect and my SIL went shopping and spend £50 on snacks and drinks so she doesn't have to leave her room. MIL is really worried about her she keeps phoning her in tears. My SIL is autistic and takes everything very very seriously but surely confining a 13 yr old to her room for 10 days is going a bit far isn't it??

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
CodenameVillanelle · 14/12/2020 19:53

@canigooutyet

The CV school guidance, unless it has been changed, also tells the schools to isolate a child they think has CV. Alone, in a room with the door closed as much as possible (cannot remember the exact wording)
Eh? The schools send the kids home, they don't isolate them Unless you mean while they are waiting to be picked up??
treening · 14/12/2020 19:53

Seriously, if people are so terrified of covid you'd isolate a young child in their room who doesn't have symptoms - withdraw your children from school.

Ladyellow · 14/12/2020 19:55

When my ( primary) child’s class were isolating they had online work/ lessons that required some help or supervision everyday. Logging in, re logging in when the internet went down 🙄 sending work, taking photos of things, supervision with scissors. There was no way it was anticipated they were on their own?!

canigooutyet · 14/12/2020 19:56

If the door was locked and she was prevented from opening the door, offences would have been committed.

Instead she has been asked to confine herself to her room to help stop the spread.

It's possible that her parent(s) cannot take time off work so she could isolate with everyone else.

lanthanum · 14/12/2020 19:57

Teens can vary a lot. I think it would be difficult to do this with a younger teen who likes lots of family interaction, but some will be fine about it - and might prefer not to infect other family members. I know families who have prevented it spreading to more vulnerable members of the family by isolating from each other within the home, and for some people that's going to be worth doing.

My teen is quite happy about the idea that if she has to self-isolate she might stay in her room and the guest room (we're lucky that she can have that extra space) - she's usually quite happy with her own company anyway, and we can talk from opposite ends of the landing or use zoom.

I can't imagine asking a primary-aged child to isolate like that, though.

MichelleScarn · 14/12/2020 19:58

This is completely normal. Children all over the UK are in this situation. Any child sent home to self isolate who has siblings, or vulnerable family members. We expect any children we send home to be confined to their rooms. Toilet use excepted, but the toilet will need to be cleaned very thoroughly after they have used it. If there are two toilets in the house, then one for the isolator, and one for everyone else in the family. At 13, she just has to suck it up.Primary school children are coping
Well I'm glad am in the wilds of Scotland and nowhere near bluegreen imaginery teaching job in London, if I was I'd be terrified there was possibly an educator with this batshit viewpoint.

canigooutyet · 14/12/2020 19:58

Code yes sorry thought I had put in whilst waiting collection. I was trying to think of the wording.

Piwlyfbicsly · 14/12/2020 19:59

I would never do this to my child. Of any age. They would stay at home but they would not be staying locked in one room.

Mumdiva99 · 14/12/2020 20:00

@Bluegreen70 please read your schools risk assessment and guidelines for home education. Most schools say online learning should not take place in a bedroom.....
And as others have said with primary kids an element of parental supervision and support us required.

Bollss · 14/12/2020 20:00

@canigooutyet

If the door was locked and she was prevented from opening the door, offences would have been committed.

Instead she has been asked to confine herself to her room to help stop the spread.

It's possible that her parent(s) cannot take time off work so she could isolate with everyone else.

That wouldn't be following the rules though would it?
evrey · 14/12/2020 20:01

@CodenameVillanelle
Ive also been tested twice and yes I did stay in my room until I got a negative. As did my 14 yo.

AldiAisleofCrap · 14/12/2020 20:02

Thousands of teens who have parents who are ECV are isolating in bedrooms. Staying in your room watching Netflix with room service and constant Facetime to friends and family is nothing compared to the trauma of your parent becoming severely ill or dying from Covid.

Bollss · 14/12/2020 20:02

And actually she's not the one with symptoms so her parents don't need to isolate anyway.....

Violetparis · 14/12/2020 20:04

Not normal behaviour, what happens if the poor girl has to self isolate multiple times ?

Nanny0gg · 14/12/2020 20:05

@Scottishskifun

It sounds like it's horrible but actually this is the advice that test and protect will have also given to your SIL. When someone is asked to self isolate and its only one person in the house if they are old enough it's suggested that they completely isolate from the rest of the household.

I know it seems harsh I would say as long as she had a TV and mum was regularly facetiming from downstairs it will make it pass quicker.

The kid hasn't got any symptoms!!
middleager · 14/12/2020 20:05

I have some experience of this as my DS (14) has had six self isolations since September, plus Covid, we are West Midlands though and used to this shit now!

The only time I was super strict was when DC had Covid. Then it was bedroom only, own bathroom, garden, meals in room.

For the other five SIs (they're routine now) we carried on more or less as normal and we are sensible anyway. I was fairly strict on the first one, trying to separate when possible, but when you've had six and Covid, the impetus to comply wears off.

OverTheRainbow88 · 14/12/2020 20:06

I’m not even sure I wouldn’t allow my kids out to exercise supervised if close contacts !

Atrixie · 14/12/2020 20:07

I’m sorry but there is not a chance in this world I would make my children or teen do this. When one of mine was positive I asked him to keep his distance and eat at the table while we were at the island. That’s it. No way would I ever ever expect a child to isolate on their own for 2 weeks. I’ve had another child SI on primary and I can assure you that the online lessons showed all children working in communal family areas with their parents and siblings popping in and out.

middleager · 14/12/2020 20:08

impetous this doesn't mean he leaves the house, it just means, we don't all isolate from each other.

MitziK · 14/12/2020 20:08

@canigooutyet

The CV school guidance, unless it has been changed, also tells the schools to isolate a child they think has CV. Alone, in a room with the door closed as much as possible (cannot remember the exact wording)
Exact wording is 'If a child is awaiting collection, they should be moved, if possible, to a room where they can be isolated behind a closed door, depending on the age and needs of the child, with appropriate adult supervision if required. Ideally, a window should be opened for ventilation. If it is not possible to isolate them, move them to an area which is at least 2 metres away from other people.

If they need to go to the bathroom while waiting to be collected, they should use a separate bathroom if possible. The bathroom must be cleaned and disinfected using standard cleaning products before being used by anyone else.'

Which in most schools means either lock them in a cupboard or shove them out onto a chair in the playground in the rain. So adults supervise with them in the same room as near to two metres apart as is possible. Because it's not appropriate to dump them in solitary whilst trying to convince Dad that he does need to come and get them now rather than tell the kid to catch a bus home and he'll see them at six after they've picked up their little brother from Primary.

Can you imagine the fuss (and suffering) if we actually did the former? Can't be done.

Bikingbear · 14/12/2020 20:08

@treening

How would you propose I keep my four year old confined to his bedroom?
The 'advice' I was given for a 3yo was for one parent to isolate with them. Not to eat with the rest of the family either.

Truthfully I ignored other than the sharing food bit. We made sure they had their own garlic dip.

Chessie678 · 14/12/2020 20:09

If anyone had suggested locking a child in their room for two weeks pre-covid for any reason including as a punishment or to protect the household from flu etc. there would have been a consensus that it is abuse and if a school had heard about this they would have (quite rightly) reported to social services. We don't treat most criminals in prison like this.

I would find this kind of isolation for two weeks very difficult as a fairly introverted adult. To do this to a 13 year old is inhumane and could potentially have very severe and long term mental health consequences.

It is sickening that people, particularly teachers, are describing children as snowflakes or lacking resilience or petals etc. because they would might struggle to cope with two weeks' solitary confinement. Children can appear resilient to all sorts of abuse but that isn't a reason to abuse them.

canigooutyet · 14/12/2020 20:10

Trust IIrc would be allowed if the person was SI from the rest of the household.
Iirc, there is some additional support if you cannot do this because for example, primary aged so an adult would need to be involved.

Remember there are no laws either with regards to how long a child can be left alone at home. Although there are more guidelines/laws (I forget which) about leaving under 16 overnight.

MistletoeandGin · 14/12/2020 20:11

Children can appear resilient to all sorts of abuse but that isn't a reason to abuse them

Exactly this.

Bollss · 14/12/2020 20:11

@canigooutyet

Trust IIrc would be allowed if the person was SI from the rest of the household. Iirc, there is some additional support if you cannot do this because for example, primary aged so an adult would need to be involved.

Remember there are no laws either with regards to how long a child can be left alone at home. Although there are more guidelines/laws (I forget which) about leaving under 16 overnight.

But the whole family don't need to isolate in this scenario anyway. Just because there is no law against it doesn't make it right.
Swipe left for the next trending thread