Are Christmas bubbles causing huge arguments for other people too this weekend?!

[CarryOnWalking]

Nobody wants to have my mother-in-law. My parents will only bubble with us if we don’t see anyone else.
BIL and family have booked a holiday to take themselves out of the equation.
SIL has told MIL (her mother) that she’s not welcome this year, even though they normally see her —and are happy to accept free holidays each summer with her—
We are her third choice but possibly only option. Argh. Everyone is behaving so badly.

(Strike out fail)

What does your DH say-it’s his mother.

I’d be cross if I were your DH and you wanted to see your parents but not his.

We are sticking to our household only as the vaccine is close and we can’t isolate for fourteen days before so not worth the risk to others. We may see friends with the rule of six outdoors to exchange gifts at a safe distance but may end up just using a courier of the weather is too bad.

Yes! Invited PIL who said no thanks we've already invited SIL and BIL1 which is fine and we invited them for Boxing Day and they said no thanks we've invited BIL2, again that's fine.

So we made plans with my side of the family and now PIL are pissed off because DH has told them they can't just pop to ours when it suits them to see us on Christmas Day as they usually would as it will be too many households mixing.

No arguments

We aren't taking the risk and everyone is staying in their homes

We are hopefully having an Australian themed Christmas the first weekend of the summer holidays next year instead

It's just not worth the risk

I misread it as baubles and was wondering why so many people would be arguing about decorations.

We haven't made a bubble with anyone- arranged to see my family outdoors and to see MIL on the doorstep. Quite looking forward to it! Our household has most people mixing a lot with others due to work and school so none of our family really wants to risk seeing us

Yes, we are unsure of getting the train North. We don’t drive. I am not sure how safe the trains are in respect to air filtration. I think it’s much safer flying.

No arguments here and we are going to spend it with families in our respective areas so that nobody has to travel far. We are going to do a second christmas day in the spring (minus presents) once it's safer to travel again.

Some of my friends have had quite a lot of problems though.

No, we're just staying home and treating it pretty much as any other day off except with decorations and extra food. Bliss.

What does your DH think? Is he insisting on seeing his mother? Is she a horrible person that none of you want to endure at Christmas?

Honestly, I have given in to seeing the PIL this year and I am not fighting it, as we wont be seeing my family as they love abroad. My issue is I suspect my PIL wont bubble with us in the sense that they will probably sneakily see more than 3 households. They like to lie to us that they are following rules when they arent. But honestly, I have no fight left after lockdowns and having a baby myself 3 weeks ago and trying to impose some visiting restrictions. Sometimes you have to decide if the battle is worth fighting.

I think I want it to be just but suspect my dm assumes she is coming

Everyone in my family is bending over themselves to be reasonable,not put anyone out and not take unecessary risks. I think we'll all end up in single households and aim to meet up outdoors a bit over the holiday period.

I'm currently researching pubs walks 100 miles away so we can meet my sister halfway.

I've decided we can't have a normal Christmas so we're going to make it as different as possible rather than a poor initation. Who knows, we might even come up with some new family traditions.

Same as PP. No arguments. DH and I are secondary teachers and have made the decision to not see family. Everyone understands - in-laws are teachers too. My mum is in a nursing home and haven’t broken the news to her yet. Not looking forward to that but hopefully she’ll understand too.

I’m not in a bubble and don’t wish to be I’m happy pottering along with my own household.
Haven’t seen anyone since feb , And quite frankly they’re fucking idiots and I don’t wish too either
If all of other family members are refusing to have the MIL what does your DH say ? Do you want her round ? If not I’d go with the ‘ not mixing bubbles. ‘ excuse
I like to isolate though I’m quite reclusive

No arguments here, DH and I will spend it alone, DS is in a care home as he has learning difficulties and we haven’t seen him since February. DHs daughter lives with her mum so we won’t be able to see her. We live in tier 3 and parents are in tier 2 so we can’t see them either. It’s going to be a quiet one for us!

Yes my mum is having a tantrum about it as we have decided to bubble with my sister so the dc can be together and I already wish we had decided not to bother with any of it

DB and SIL unilaterally decided that they were having my parents and SIL's parents. Neatly ignoring the fact that this meant that neither set of parents would thus be able to (legally) see any of their other children. No arguments really, because my other sibling and I can't be bothered with it (and tbh I was concerned about the risk of my parents meeting my DC - attending a large secondary school with many cases - a few days after the end of term anyway). However SIL's parents have now announced they are going to see their other daughter as well, thereby making the bubble illegal (assuming the 3 household bubble thing does go into law). But seem not to have realised that this affects everyone else in the bubble, so perhaps they should discuss it first. I know my parents think the bubble thing is silly but would be upset to know they were breaking the law, especially if it was unwittingly.

No everyone is being very adult and considerate of others.

I think if MIL is on her own and your parents are a couple it would be unreasonable to bubble with them and not her. Also it is your parents who are limiting it to 2 households (not unreasonably but it is not against the rules to also have MIL there)

Your parent have each other leave them to it and get MIL round.

Could you see your parents on 24th and your MIL on 26th?

@Lifeispassingby

No arguments here, DH and I will spend it alone, DS is in a care home as he has learning difficulties and we haven’t seen him since February. DHs daughter lives with her mum so we won’t be able to see her. We live in tier 3 and parents are in tier 2 so we can’t see them either. It’s going to be a quiet one for us!

You can see people over Christmas if you want to. It may not be sensible but you can, that's the point

@BecomeStronger we can technically only see my parents, we cannot see DS or DSD though. The OP questioned if any is having difficulties with it and I answered the question?

What is your DH view - your parents are the one causing the issue why cant you see them one day and your MIL the next

No arguments at all. I asked for thoughts from a sibling who we usually share Christmas with. They aren't happy to bubble because another in our support bubble is CV and want them protected. I don't want to mix with school kids so we're all sticking to own households/support bubbles this year.
Disappointing but better to reduce chances of anyone getting Covid.

A friend of a friend, aged 57, who is part of a big family and been ignoring rules was found unconcious a few weeks ago. Taken to hospital, diagnosed with Covid and died the next day. A mother of 4. Her siblings and parents all tested, all positive and all except father asymptomatic. Father in hospital and recovering okay although has suffered memory loss. He cannot remember her funeral has taken place. A very close family who have paid a very high price for continuing to see each other.

My parents will only bubble with us if we don’t see anyone else

Strikes me as a bit selfish unless they are CEV or MIL is flouting the rules left right and centre.

Could you see your parents on Xmas eve and MIL on Christmas Day? That way you aren’t increasing the exposure to your parents and your MIL won’t be alone on Christmas Day?