Are Christmas bubbles causing huge arguments for other people too this weekend?!

[CarryOnWalking]

Nobody wants to have my mother-in-law. My parents will only bubble with us if we don’t see anyone else.
BIL and family have booked a holiday to take themselves out of the equation.
SIL has told MIL (her mother) that she’s not welcome this year, even though they normally see her —and are happy to accept free holidays each summer with her—
We are her third choice but possibly only option. Argh. Everyone is behaving so badly.

OP, I would see your MIL under the circumstances because at least your parents have each other.

Do they know that if you agree to see them, that your MIL would be alone?

No arguments here. We're not meeting with parents, siblings etc like normal. Everyone having Christmas on their own and hopefully a big family get together in the summer. It's just not worth the risk.

I’m not really looking for solutions just curious to know if it was causing problems for other people too?! And wanting to vent....

I’m very envious of the people I read about on here who have lovely families that they’re looking forward to seeing over Christmas. It must be so nice.

Same here, not taking the risk just for one year. I do know people whose families will be very difficult about this though as they have form for being very insistent on family Christmas get togethers no matter what.

No arguments here so far, we’ve not discussed it yet but I don’t imagine there will be any.
I’ll miss my family dreadfully but it’s just one year

No arguments either, we've decided on both sides of the family that everyone is just having a quiet one. I think my mum is a little disappointed (she's with my dad) that she won't get to see the grandkids, but totally understands. Hopefully we can have a family get together later in 2021.

My (very vulnerable) Mother has announced that she and my (very vulnerable) sdad will be coming her for breakfast as usual on Xmas day
I said that was fine as long as she was either not going to go to my brothers later on OR could guarantee that SILs family wouldnt also be at my brothers house and neither would either of my nephews girlfriends
Apparently I am ridiculous and am making excuses because I isn’t want her to come.

No arguments here. We’ve decided to stick to our own household indoors for those five days. We may meet PIL on Boxing Day outside, probably at a National Trust following the rule of six. My dad and his partner live nearly 300 miles away and they are staying put.

And everyone lives 3 hours drive away from each other (in different directions) so there’s no option of just popping to see family for a short time.

My parents no longer drive and have nowhere for me to stay.

MIL wants us to go to her because our house is too cold.

I’d rather stay at home and see nobody.

MIL won’t be left on her own, even if we all have a miserable day together. Her and DH wind each other up and he reverts to being a stroppy 13 year old in her company.

MIL (late 60’s and very fit has dramatically announced she will probably be dead before she sees her grandchildren again and if we don’t visit we can’t have our Xmas presents. She will also be visiting sil and her boyfriends family
DH doesn’t care though and she doesn’t bother with me a she knows I don’t react to the hysterics so it’s not too bad. Plus she knows if she tries her emotional blackmail to the dc by text I block her number so this all angles covered

FiL conveniently decided to act like a complete twat yesterday, so much so that we've decided we're inviting MiL and SFiL round, rather than traveling to see FiL and SMiL. They hate Christmas but at least they're nice people, plus they're foodies and DH will cook up a feast. And we have a toddler so there will be the fun of an overexcited little one too SiL will be visiting FiL so we're off the hook hopefully.

My immediate family aren't in the UK. Haven't seen my siblings since last Christmas and my parents since July. I'd rather not think about it too much TBH.

Big argument this morning with my husband while trying to explain our 'interpretations' of Christmas bubble.
Both have adult children from previous marriages so he included them in our bubble.
Trying to explain neither they or us could see other people or join any other household bubbles according to the Government website has resulted in a sulking tantrum worthy of a teenager/toddler/manchild 😄

oh yes - bloody nightmare. We have a lot of older singles in our family.

My sensible brother and sister (both single) are staying put in their respective homes. DS will have her flatmates who are doing the same, but Dbro will be on his own. he's fine with that.

but that leaves 8 others from 5 households who usually have xmas together. Adult dc in one family have recently moved out, so they are now two households, the others are older relatives who would be alone.

We practically need an excel spreadsheet to work out the different permutations of what is allowed. complicated by the fact that one couple have completely different views on where they should be. They would happily go to different meals but that's not allowed.... 😩

In your situation I'd choose to see both, or neither. It wouldn't be fair on your dh if you chose your mother over his without giving him an opinion.

I sympathise, OP.

My mother is being an annoying ninny about it all. She wants to come and stay with us but is worried that DS is coming home too (this will be our three mixed households). So rather than just say, ‘I’m not coming because of X’, she’s beating around the bush and trying to guilt us for inviting our own child home

My side of the family are behaving brilliantly, both our (adult) children have bubbled with a single elderly or vulnerable relative of their respective partners, and the idea of having Australian Christmas (ie a barbecue on June 25th or thereabouts) is being treated as The Plan. We will probably have a subdued indoor meeting with my mum and a sister, we've been pretty virtuous and will continue to be so as we're in Tier 2 so DP won't be going to pub.

One of DP's sister's had decided beforehand to have a friends only Christmas this year, she had hosted her rather difficult mother for years on end together with an utterly awful sister. MIL passed away earlier this year.

Which leaves only my utterly awful SIL (see above paragraph). No one has dared tell her and her equally awful partner that she's not welcome anywhere!

My plan.
23rd is my birthday so going to mums and having a lunch etc or go out if we are out of tier 3. 24th party at inlaws. Xmas day own family own house so 2 kids and me husband. Boxing day nephews birthday at my mums :)

Massive pressure on me today 😢.

I live with DH and DD, 7. His mum is in a Tier 3 area (3.5 hours’ drive). His dad died a few years ago so for a long time she has come down to us for Christmas.

We agreed best to stay at home this year. Usually we all stay at my folks with his brother and my sister’s family. She has 2 teens.

I think my mum assumed we would go to theirs after the rules were announced. I said I wasn’t comfortable with the risks of doing so with 3 kids at school.

Then my sister found some kind of Covid spit test and suggested everyone takes it. But it would still be 4 households so that’s no good. And DH has not seen his mum for a year so he’d probably want to do that, understandably.

My sister keeps texting me saying we have to consider our mum’s feelings and there will be “ramifications” if we don’t find a way to get together. But there is no way to get together that includes MIL. It is all putting me under immense pressure and I wish everyone would just agree to stay in their own homes, just for one year....

Well I wouldn't let my parents dictate who else could come. So if they don't want mil there tuff shit. They stay in their own.

@mrsknottschicken that's tough. Could you and the rest of your side of the family meet up outdoors somewhere? You can do that if you stay distanced with people not in your bubble, am I right?

Nobody has mentioned it to us but we have decided if they do that we'll just say no. We have the luxury of knowing none of our family will be alone at Christmas though.

No arguments here. DH and I agreed in the summer, it'd be just us. DH has said all the way along we could have my Mum (technically part of our bubble as she has no one else). I'm not sure (as I work in a school so feel high risk to her) and she doesn't seem to want to take the risk anyway.

For us it's not worth the risk. Neither of us could live with ourselves if we'd passed it on.

If you're comfortable taking the risk (as well as your parents) it doesn't seem fair that MIL can't come though.

No arguments yet but I've decided to only see my sister and her boyfriend as I know they've been following the rules.
My mum, my nephew and his GF (who live together with her parents) will be going to my other sisters house, where my brother in law and niece have been visiting god knows who at their houses and not taking precautions, so I don't really want them all coming here too, but I haven't told my mum yet so she will probably moan! She thinks she's above wearing a mask as she's already had covid so thinks she can't give it to anyone else and goes out quite a lot too.
My PIL have already said they aren't seeing anyone as they are around 70ish and me, my SIL and BIL all have young children so they don't want to mix with them due to them sadly due to them being in school we may meet up with them outdoors at some point though.
I'm hoping to meet up with my mum and sisters for a meal before Christmas though so hopefully that will ease the moaning lol

We cancelled plans for my son, DIL and granddaughter to come up a few weeks ago. It felt too risky.

Now there is just me, husband and youngest son. My in-laws have been told they can come if they want to and they can decide as late as they like. I don't think they'll come as our son is at a very big school, lots of cases locally and FIL is vulnerable.

I've already lost one parent to Covid-19, I nearly lost the other - I couldn't cope with more grief.

[quote ScouseQueen]@mrsknottschicken that's tough. Could you and the rest of your side of the family meet up outdoors somewhere? You can do that if you stay distanced with people not in your bubble, am I right? [/quote]
Thank you - yes, this is was my suggestion to my sister but she didn't seem to think it would be good enough to just go for a walk. So I feel under pressure to please everyone. Really I just wish they hadn't introduced these stupid rules at all.

OP, you are not alone - I do hope you have a lovely Christmas.