Sat crying. This isn’t ending or getting better

[Napqueen1234]

So sick of this. Back into tier 3. We have followed all the rules. No one in the house since March. I can’t do this all winter. I have two small children and I’m going insane with no family help. People say it’s going to get better but it isn’t. Or it’s months and months away. I can’t stop crying I just want to see my family.

I don't think people are looking for answers or solutions. Many just want some comfort, empathy, maybe some virtual emotional support.

When I had a few years of watching 6 of my loved ones die, it didn't mean no one else was allowed to complain about having a hard time, or rejoice in the good time we're having. Even in my grief, it would have been ridiculously selfish to push into space for others going through entirely different things that could be equally as hard and worthy of hearing and support (or even wanting to celebrate the happy things they've gone through.

But, if we're considering solutions - as previously mentioned, there could be better funding for more ITU beds, having people properly held to account for the corrupt way many of the contracts were handled, giving better financial support to those who have to isolate so people don't have to selflessly lose the food on their table. Support, social and otherwise, could be more widely recognized as important and how crushing the lack of it is to many people.

I too am crying - because at Christmas I can choose to see my terminally ill parent or my son. My DS is down to help with the caring aspect of my parent so that is 3 households. Which means my son (who lives alone) will be on his own at Christmas. I would say sod it but my DH won't allow us to break the rules ( he can't really, due to his job, it would be totally hypocritical) - no idea what I will do.

@yesyoudoknowme

I too am crying - because at Christmas I can choose to see my terminally ill parent or my son. My DS is down to help with the caring aspect of my parent so that is 3 households. Which means my son (who lives alone) will be on his own at Christmas. I would say sod it but my DH won't allow us to break the rules ( he can't really, due to his job, it would be totally hypocritical) - no idea what I will do.

If your son lives alone is he in your ‘bubble’?

@yesyoudoknowme Could you see your parent and do a virtual Christmas with your son? 💔

At the moment, I am so furious the tears haven't come, but I'm sure they will. I live in a rural part of South Gloucestershire. The next door village is in Wiltshire, so tier 2. Nearby Bath, where I work, my kids go to school and I would usually do most of my shopping/socialising is Tier 2. The border to Bath & NE Somerset is 10 mins away. By an accident of sheer fucking geography, I am lumped into Tier 3 because of Bristol. I am nowhere near Bristol. I never go to Bristol. This is utterly nonsensical and shit. And I hardly ever swear....

I hope you have a lovely Christmas and feel no guilt when your granny gets covid

Please don't spout this rubbish. They could just as easily catch the virus from a carer or in their local supermarket.

The assumption people criticising others seem to be making is that we all have years ahead of us to enjoy the company of our loved ones. So one lost year/Christmas doesn't matter. That's just not true for some of us. Many of us have parents or elderly relatives in ill health who may not see next Christmas. We are losing valuable time with them. That needs to be weighed against the risks from the virus. Losing a loved one after practically a year staying away from them would be a real kick in the stomach and I'm praying it doesn't happen to us.

I could cry too.

We are seeing no one at Christmas as wouldn't want to risk infecting the grandparents.

We were due to go to sister in laws for 2 nights at New Year. She is also seeing no one else. Now we are both Tier 2. We can't go or see them as it's a very long drive and would need to stay over. Kids are going to be hugely upset. Ironically we would be less of a risk after an extra week with the kids not being at school than we would be at Christmas. I am so disappointed too as I was really looking forward to seeing them and for the kids seeing people that aren't us, having been on our own all Christmas. We have totally stuck to the rules throughout. I feel we are paying for the one thing we had planned so that everyone else has a choice to be with people at Christmas.

My granny died this year - during lockdown.... not of Covid (so I suppose it’s not as tragic, eh??)
And spent the last few months of her life getting absolutely no fucking conversation or stimulation from anyone or anything thanks to this fucking lockdown. What a way for a person to spend the remaining months of their life.

So fucking sad. This is what gets to me, fading away over months because they have given up due to isolation. Heartbreaking.

Bloody "don't kill granny". I have two remaining grandparents both in their 90s, a year is a huge chunk of the remaining time I have to see them and they are so scared of catching it they are isolating.
To be honest I won't be surprised if I don't see them again, I'm grieving for them because of covid regardless if whether they catch it.

I feel you. Im also, so fed up of everything this year. Our 2 wedding dates have been cancelled this year as they both fell into the lockdowns. The huge reorganisation each time and trying to claw back money ans deposits has been draining. Now hoping for next year but it literally makes me feel sick, it's been such a stress from beginning to end and there is no joy in it anymore. We were supposed to exchange on a house tomorrow after 3 and a half months of conveyancing but looks like that's all fallen through after our buyers have got cold feet. To top it off weve gone into tier2 from tier1. I dont remember the last time I wasnt manically stressed about something. Feels like someones sat on my chest and my hair is starting to fall out. But I cant do anything to take my mind off things because I'm stuck at home in our flat working in my living room day in and day out since March.

Its shit, properly awful. So exhausting.

It is the biggest breach of our collective human rights in the UK ever.

Also my ex-MIL died of cancer in June having seen noone from her family for months. They saw her when it became clear she was about to die but she wasn't with it. At the same time Dominic Cummings was fucking about getting his eyes tested in Barnard Castle.
I'm sick of this narrative that is terrifying so many into compliance while others die alone and lose their livelihoods. What are they - acceptable collateral damage?

The “you can still see your family and go for a socially distanced walk” brigade are really starting to annoy me. Do they really think we haven’t considered this? Can they not understand the logistic impossibility for some of us? Because it’s a bit bloody difficult when we work FT, live 200 miles apart and are all in tier 3. And we’re working/on-call over Christmas too, so the easing of restrictions for 5 days doesn’t help.

I know, just as we say, 'OK, we'll do another month if that helps,' we then come out of that month into more of the same.
I'm feeling it too and I'm normally a very positive, upbeat person. This is tough.

I know tier 3 restrictions say you can't meet people in your home or your garden . But logically . Meeting in a garden is no different to meeting in a park. Some kind of outdoor heater . Blankets , hot water bottles . Get people to being a flask . Get together for around an hour so toilet isn't an issue .

Might not be strictly in the rules but as a risk assessment it seems safe Particularly if it stops people becoming fed up enough to meet indoors .

Feel same we were tier 1 now tier 2 ours numbers went up but are on way down again
Dh and myself still having to work and with others , dh expected to resume coaching he does voluntary again , yet we can't see my family
I can go to my mums and sit further away from them that at work and also not need the toilet unlike 8 hrs at work

@ForeverInADay

I could cry too.

We are seeing no one at Christmas as wouldn't want to risk infecting the grandparents.

We were due to go to sister in laws for 2 nights at New Year. She is also seeing no one else. Now we are both Tier 2. We can't go or see them as it's a very long drive and would need to stay over. Kids are going to be hugely upset. Ironically we would be less of a risk after an extra week with the kids not being at school than we would be at Christmas. I am so disappointed too as I was really looking forward to seeing them and for the kids seeing people that aren't us, having been on our own all Christmas. We have totally stuck to the rules throughout. I feel we are paying for the one thing we had planned so that everyone else has a choice to be with people at Christmas.

You could try to book a cancelable hotel and then if the weather is ok you can be in the garden. Yes I know that's a crap alternative......

The virus hit China during Chinese New Years and everyone was told to stay home. It was a worthwhile sacrifice to make considering covid is barely existent in many parts of Asia now, businesses are all open and the economy is back on track.

Lockdown has cancelled many major cultural or religious festivals around the world. Not sure why Christmas should be any more important, especially the entitlement that comes with "HAVING" to see family during the holidays.

We know about 20 cases of covid within friends and family. With the exceptions of being infected within the same household or 1 who worked as a nurse, 100% of the "patient zeros" mysteriously claim they have no idea how they got infected. The truth is most of them probably have a very good idea how they got infected but can't admit it since they were bending the rules, just like what's being encouraged right here.

My granny died this year - during lockdown.... not of Covid (so I suppose it’s not as tragic, eh??)
And spent the last few months of her life getting absolutely no fucking conversation or stimulation from anyone or anything thanks to this fucking lockdown. What a way for a person to spend the remaining months of their life.*

Exactly the same for me. My nanna died last month, just of old age. She had probably just had enough of the loneliness and shut her eyes and went to sleep! I am wracked with guilt that her last months were so isolated.

@HarryLimeFoxtrot

The “you can still see your family and go for a socially distanced walk” brigade are really starting to annoy me. Do they really think we haven’t considered this? Can they not understand the logistic impossibility for some of us? Because it’s a bit bloody difficult when we work FT, live 200 miles apart and are all in tier 3. And we’re working/on-call over Christmas too, so the easing of restrictions for 5 days doesn’t help.

Totally agree. It's usually followed by take a nice flask of hot chocolate and it will be lovely not least because my kids now see walks as a form of torture after so many!

@User393850253 china had a horrendous lockdown all be it shorter not something that would be allowed to happen here.
Christmas isn't just religious festival it is time that many see their family maybe only time due to distance and time off work etc
Yes covid is real doesn't mean we are not allowed to be upset about restrictions and your comment re: people don't know where they got ftom , maybe they don't. If you have kids in school its a risk , some of us have to work and 2m isn't always possible, some are carers for others , plus following the rules doesn't mean you def won't get it , it reduces risk. Some people have got it despite pretty much shielding.
You can't blame people for getting a highly contagious virus or for people being upset about restrictions and seeing family etc

Yeah my family all live abroad so I’ve not seen the since last Xmas - but what can you do about - nothing ! Just wait it a few months longer and it should be relaxed a bit.

@Heyahun

Yeah my family all live abroad so I’ve not seen the since last Xmas - but what can you do about - nothing ! Just wait it a few months longer and it should be relaxed a bit.

Yeah right. Check back in June and see whether that is the case.

my kids now see walks as a form of torture after so many!
Ditto.