I have a terrible pandemic secret. Maybe you do, too?

[WombOfOnesOwn]

Have seen many threads about lockdowns and pandemic fear, plus being cooped up together, creating challenges for marriages and romantic partnerships.

Is anyone else having the opposite thing happen? I'm probably much less in favor of lockdowns and covid measures than the average person, but in the home, things couldn't be much better. Probably the strangest thing is that DH and I have been having sex like horny teenagers...at least once a day, sometimes even staying up all night. This state of affairs has gone on for weeks now, with no end in sight.

On paper, circumstances sound absolutely dire for a sex life: nearly 10 years together, 3 children under 5 including a 10 week old baby, "rule of six" social limits in a household where there are already 5 people, drama with in-laws, work from home + home schooling stress. But spending so much time practically on top of one another has somehow led to us wanting to spend more time, well, literally on top of one another. We talk more, bring up issues sooner, and by evening we're both feeling the spark every night.

For the sake of so many people I know, in so many situations, including my own children, I want this lockdown to end. But I have a guilty, secret wish that it continues a while longer because of this second honeymoon period I seem to be in with DH, which I know can't last forever and I worry will dissolve when pandemic measures end. I also feel like even bringing up this nice bit will make people angry, since there's a certain bizarre feeling of "if you're not miserable all the time, you're not sacrificing enough" in the air.

Does anyone else have guilty secrets over their pandemic feelings? A friend of mine feels awful for not being able to see her mother in a care home, but also a guilty relief over being able to work from home (she's in a high pressure, high stakes job where her hours and commute are long normally).

Yes, yes, we all want this awful year to end, of course we do...but I can't be the only one who's got a touch of mixed feelings. Tell me yours, and maybe I can stop feeling so ridiculous!

[XDownwiththissortofthingX]

I'm enjoying the fact that in most public spaces the majority of people are now conscious of personal space and make a cursory effort to stay out of mine. I'm dreading the day 'social distancing measures' are formally relaxed, but I'm planning to continue to wear a mask in public and wont hesitate to bellow at anyone I think is getting too close.

[AgnesNaismith]

I LOVE not being able to go into school, or even get out of the car at pick up. No awkward conversations, no busybody parents and it has completely eliminated the constant jostling for position. Virtual parents evening is a dream.

I’m betting the teachers love it too!

[CaribouCarafe]

That sounds lovely OP!

My pandemic secret is that due to rent prices massively dropping where I live, I managed to move to a much nicer apartment for a cheaper price. I feel guilty because I know lots of people are struggling whilst (on the outside) we look like we're rolling in it, but we're actually just saving money.

Everything else is shit though, so it balances out!

[Highandhellwater]

I got out of a very difficult situation at work. I had organised an event, but felt out of my depth, under supported and under planned. It was cancelled, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I did a project/time management course while furloughed so hopefully next time I’ll be better prepared.

[MsChatterbox]

I loved being left alone when my baby was born.

[OffredOfjune]

Probably a bit silly, but in March I managed to get out of having to do a public presentation that I had been dreading for months (seriously). I was probably selfishly over the moon about it as I have awful social anxiety.

But as a PP said, everything else has been pretty shite this year, so it's the little things really!

[jan9876]

Im loving that I don't have to run here there and everywhere for appointments and they are all being done over the phone - dc appt, health appt, work meetings. How much easier is it to sit in the house and talk on the phone/zoom!? I would prefer just to go out to meet friends/ shopping when I feel like it that compulsory meetings lol. Life suits me much better this way.

[Graphista]

Nothing is all bad. Even wars bring developments and advances in medicine and technology.

I have severe ocd, currently housebound and disabled too.

Dd has been telling me from the beginning and others have since made similar comments that actually the way people are in the world now is more suited to me -

Respecting personal space - 2m distances

Improved personal hygiene and awareness of touching contamination - more hand washing and less touching unnecessarily

Fewer people in shops - to allow personal space

More places are delivering now

Can make a telephone appointment with gp surgery without having to give a long explanation and have to fight to get one!

Gps have more time for patients and certain prejudices are no longer a factor which has enabled me to get CORRECT dx and treatments whereas previously biases led to misdx

Greater understanding of my circumstances by both organisations/companies and individuals who have had to shield/self isolate....

I could go on for a while actually. I've even debated starting a similar thread asking if other ocd and agoraphobia sufferers have had a similar experience.

Absolutely I want it to end in terms of not wanting people to be very sick, possibly lifelong or even die and also for those who are struggling under the current constraints but I'm hoping there will remain more flexibility to people like me and services etc will continue to offer remote options.

I'm thinking a lot of carers and young/new mums are glad of being left in peace to manage their responsibilities too...

Which @MsChatterbox Just confirmed for me!

I just remember hating visitors when dd was first born and I just wanted to be able to sleep when she slept and slob around topless while establishing breastfeeding

There's been a fair few threads where people have said they'd like to continue wfh too

I am hoping this all means I might be able to find a wfh job at some point too.

[FippertyGibbett]

I actually don’t mind this lockdown, other than the occasional pang of wanting to go on holiday I’m happy.
We are still working/education and I’ve always had my shopping delivered so this isn’t far from normal for me.

[ViciousJackdaw]

I feel dreadful for saying this, I really do but I'm relieved to do far fewer PIL visits. I find it really hard to think of things to talk to them about beyond ailments and the price of fish. There's something else too but I feel like it's far too insensitive to mention, even anonymously as lockdown has not been as kind to others.

[Lazysundayafternoons]

By not having to pay childcare from March, I finally got myself out of the bank overdraft that I had probably been in for over ten years.

Although massively stressful working with DC here, I'm grateful for the extra time I got to spend with them, esp my youngest who was 9 months when covid went crazy in March.

[Friendsoftheearth]

I would be very worried if dh suddenly developed a massive sex drive out of nowhere during the pandemic, I would wonder where that sex drive had been going pre covid, and what would happen to it post covid.

It would make me very suspicious indeed.

[Skipsurvey]

Quite happy with the lack of physical contact from colleagues, no hugging. i just wish they would open a window at work,this is making me anxious

[Oreservoir]

My adult dd was furloughed so in August she came to stay with us for 4 weeks (with permission from her work).
We had a wonderful time and I know it is unlikely that we will ever get to do this again.

[WombOfOnesOwn]

You all have NO IDEA the relief from anxiety I'm feeling right now reading your replies. I was sure I'd say this and be jumped all over by people saying "people are dying, don't you know?" I feel like I can't say this to ANYONE in my real life.

[justanotherneighinparadise]

I actually like wearing a mask now 😮. I’m going to miss the security of covering half my face in public.

[Oreservoir]

I admire your stamina OP.

[Crakeandoryx]

Like you op dh and I have much more time together and lockdown has helped our marriage. He's home to help with the DC, the meals, homework and the balance of chores is now about level. Before it was mostly me because of his commute. We also find that we're both getting more work done because we're not spending hours in pointless meetings and if we are we're able to still work by muting but still being present.

I'm really enjoying the removal of having to juggle multiple things and our weekends are no longer catch up on chores and see everyone who wants a piece of us. Life was draining, stressful and it's made us realise what needs to change.

But this is only the case when we're not isolating and our DC are in school. Having to work and manage teaching school work for weeks on end is the hardest things I have ever had to do and I loath it! This aspect of lockdown has along with working from home and the increasing pressure placed on me from my employer has resulted in me having to take weeks off work with stress.

[RedTawny]

This has been my best year yet! I've secretly loved that my husbands hobby has been cancelled for now. We are both really enjoying our extra family time, he cant wait to do his hobby again but he is genuinely happy at home and has become a much better father. I'm so happy I was made redundant and the personal growth I've been through has been massive. My children have become best friends and learned so much from all the extra family time. I've loved not having the pressure to be at family events all summer, our family is massive so weddings and christenings and hen dos were almost constant

[VashtaNerada]

Ooh, nice thread! I’m a teacher and I secretly love that there’s no school trips and no Christmas concert this year, much less stress. I’m also loving that I can get a seat on public transport now. And my mask keeps my nose warm in the cold weather!

[TattiesGone]

I'm loving that because dh has to wfh he does the school pick up every day. I can't actually find words to describe how much i hate doing it and givenbi wfh, i essentially did 99% of the pick ups for the last ten years, and it really is like a mini holiday. I'm going to be fuming when his office opens.

[Arosadra]

I loved home schooling during the long lockdown. Having the children around all the time and learning together. They wouldn’t want to continue with it forever though.

My most guilty secret: I loved their friends kit being able to come over!

[niceupthedance]

I'm emetophobic and during the first lockdown I experienced the first time since I was 4 without severe anxiety and intrusive thoughts. it was totally life changing I felt amazing

[Orangecake123]

Not a secret but I like staying at home to study rather than having to go in for classes. I like the slower pace and can schedule my own timetable around how I'm feeling. Classes before were exhausting with the early start times.

I've also saved a little bit of money by not going to the gym £25 a month before. I would also spend up to £12 a month eating out. £17-20 a month on top just for coffee. Once my travel card ends for this month I won't be topping it up again.

[scrivette]

I love working from home and not having to rush home from work to do the school run.

We definitely spend more time together now as a family DH does the school pickup sometimes now which he had never done before.