Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Christmas needs to be cancelled.

661 replies

AlternativePerspective · 19/11/2020 08:40

So the suggestion to make it possible for the world to go and be super spreaders at Christmas is to stay in lockdown until Christmas, then open up for five days, then go back into lockdown for another 25 days (at least), five days for every day we’re out of lockdown.

Are people really that desperate to have a get together they could have at any other time of the year, maybe in the summer when this pandemic is under control, that they’re willing to spend months in lockdown to achieve it? Really?

My personal opinion is that it is our duty as a society to have a low key Christmas regardless of whether they take this ridiculous measure or not.

I understand that for some they want to see family at Christmas, but these ridiculous suggestions have gone too far.

Just cancel Christmas and give us an extra bank holiday next year to make up for it.

OP posts:
Bathroom12345 · 19/11/2020 16:10

People really arent OK with the risk. Its just a thing to say. People and their relatives will be screaming for help if they get the virus badly.

They really wont be saying 'I am OK with the risk' others can get treatment before me. I wonder if they were required to sign a document to that effect they would say the same thing and as its never going to happen its as easy thing to say.

I have had friends writing birth plans with all sorts of airy fairy ideas about having mood music, only a midwife who had actually had a child to attend to them (what were they planning to do, interview them whilst in labour!) and they look back on it now and laugh. I was screaming for pain relief when I was actually in labour but I knew I would be like this.

RedToothBrush · 19/11/2020 16:14

@XDownwiththissortofthingX

I've long suspected the UK's inability to get to grips with Covid stems from two main factors; an incompetent government, and the fact that a huge proportion of Brits regard rules and restrictions as something that other people have to adhere to. This thread just reaffirms that.
Its not really.

Restrictions in some parts of the country have been in place almost constantly since March.

In Leicester restrictions never were fully lifted.

In Greater Manchester and parts of West Yorkshire restrictions were lifted in June only to be reimposed in July.

Do you have any idea what that has done to some people?

I am struggling to think of anywhere in the world which has had restrictions preventing socialising / limiting numbers for a longer number of weeks.

Restrictions didn't work in some areas of the country as well as others not because people weren't following the rules as much, but because they had lower levels of homeworking (many northern hotspots have particularly low rates) and because they were financially more vulnerable and had less stable/secure jobs.

As time goes on it is natural thing and something the scientists recognise as being inevitable and unpreventable that fatigue over restrictions would kick in. Not merely because people were being selfish but also because its psychologically untenable for humans to isolate indefinitely. We are not made to do so.

I got to a point in October myself were i just wasn't coping anymore. We had a few days away starring a different walls and it made a lot of difference.

I get sick of the accusations and spite comments that suggest that so many people are selfish, when quite frankly, most people are just trying to get by in various ways and have different levels of tolerance for following the rules.

Trying to ban Christmas is going to achieve fuck all. And the % of people who celebrate christmas in one way or another is far more than any other festivity or religious celebration.

If the government are being realistic and honest they have no other choice but to try and find someway to ease restrictions for a limited time because they are partly led by behavioral science and that says that harsh restrictions over Christmas are unworkable and will just create their own problems (think of the number of fights that will break out when Johnny next door has all his family around but Matthew has stuck to the rules and can't see his dying mother - a bit like MN fights but in person and very real).

Genuinely i dont know why we are debating this, to this extent. Banning Christmas is not a viable nor tenable position. Not accounting for people's need (and yes in many cases it is now need level rather than want) to see family has to be done and calculated into restriction planning.

It is far better its all done in a managed way, albiet with many inevitable flaws (and undeniably heartbreaking cases) but the alternative of not doing this is far worse.

If anyone has a better, more sensible workable, realistic or otherwise amazing alternative that doesn't fully appreciate the point we are at, and the particular strains some individuals and areas are at 8 or 9 months on, do crack on and send it to 10 Downing Street because quite frankly we'd all quite like a miracle this Christmas but we sure as hell aren't getting one.

pincertoe · 19/11/2020 16:20

Cancelling it!!! Are you mad?! I have no problem lockdown continuing but come hell or high water I'm celebrating Christmas!

No lockdown will stop me putting up decorations, listening to Christmas carols/songs, eating seasonal food, sending cards and presents and eating Christmas dinner on the 25th!

Not doing the above is cancelling Christmas.

What we are and I'm happy to do is for go parties, meals out and seeing my extended family in the flesh. That doesn't mean Christmas is cancelled just that we need to celebrate it differently.

Unfortunately, no matter what the government say, there is still an element of society who are ignoring the rules either partially 'using their own judgment' or totally and putting us all at risk. I'm following the rules and will do that over Christmas if instructed to do so.

All I really want is to be able to have my pil round for Christmas dinner (otherwise they will be alone) then for my family of four go to stay with my brother and his family of four for a couple of days at new year. I can't see that being allowed so I will suck it up for one year and look forward to a time when we can be in each other's company.

Please stop the saying Christmas should be cancelled though, that is a ridiculous statement.

tortoiseshell1985 · 19/11/2020 16:23

Never mind xmas
I am increasingly certain notwithstanding a vaccine this Govt has no intention of lifting restrictions. It's becoming cure worse than disease
Incidentally my area has been under severe restrictions since full lockdown in March

williowrosenburg · 19/11/2020 16:27

Basically, just from the responses on here we can pretty much guarantee an explosion of positive results and COVID deaths come January.

I get there are people who will be in difficult positions with possibly terminally ill relatives, possibly choosing between relatives to see.

But Christmas is not cancelled. You do not need to SEE every single relative on one day.
Anyone else remember childhood Christmas's where you wouldn't leave the house all Christmas Day?

Spread visits out over Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, the Sunday and the extra BH on the Monday. If you can.

Do visits in shifts.

Or just spend Christmas with your house hold.

I just don't see how people expect to have a Christmas where they can see children, siblings, nieces/nephews, grandparents, cousins etc etc and just do it without at all feeling.... nervous about it!

My SIL has invited us all to hers Xmas day - regardless of whatever the situation is at the time - and that would be 15 people! Inc a new born, and parents who should be shielding really. 5 separate households!
Brings me out in a cold sweat just thinking about it! we have declined.

But hey, no worries we can ALL just go into lock down for another month afterwards! More businesses to close- probably permanently.
More cases at schools- more kids missing out on education.
More mental health issues. More delays to other medical needs.

People are fucking mad!

RedToothBrush · 19/11/2020 16:36

@williowrosenburg

Basically, just from the responses on here we can pretty much guarantee an explosion of positive results and COVID deaths come January.

I get there are people who will be in difficult positions with possibly terminally ill relatives, possibly choosing between relatives to see.

But Christmas is not cancelled. You do not need to SEE every single relative on one day.
Anyone else remember childhood Christmas's where you wouldn't leave the house all Christmas Day?

Spread visits out over Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, the Sunday and the extra BH on the Monday. If you can.

Do visits in shifts.

Or just spend Christmas with your house hold.

I just don't see how people expect to have a Christmas where they can see children, siblings, nieces/nephews, grandparents, cousins etc etc and just do it without at all feeling.... nervous about it!

My SIL has invited us all to hers Xmas day - regardless of whatever the situation is at the time - and that would be 15 people! Inc a new born, and parents who should be shielding really. 5 separate households!
Brings me out in a cold sweat just thinking about it! we have declined.

But hey, no worries we can ALL just go into lock down for another month afterwards! More businesses to close- probably permanently.
More cases at schools- more kids missing out on education.
More mental health issues. More delays to other medical needs.

People are fucking mad!

I suspect a lot of people have absolutely no intention of doing any of that regardless of what the restrictions are going to be.

And yes i do think there will be a problem in January. Which is part of the reason we are currently already in strict restrictions.

Bathroom12345 · 19/11/2020 16:39

Willow - your SIL sounds NUTS. Could someone justify this? I really really dont get this. I know some people hate the governmnet and will do and say anything to show this but its the VIRUS. The virus will hit you regardless of whether you hate Boris and co.

What are people thinking? 5 seperate households! Perhaps maybe a pared down allowance. Not endless people coming and going every day, staying over night, no masks, hugs, kisses let alone putting booze into the mix.

williowrosenburg · 19/11/2020 16:50

Yes lots of people will justify whatever they like because it suits them. This is the problem!

redtinheart · 19/11/2020 16:54

People we re going to be locked down until march regardless of what happens at Christmas so stop fooling yourselves! The real issue is schools but god forbid we actually admit that and close them or stop using elderly relatives for childcare, that would be unthinkable!

Torvean32 · 19/11/2020 16:54

I hope those of you ( that could) have volunteered to be vaccine study participants. You're so concerned at spread that in conclusion you would want to do something to avoid it ? Yes/No ?

Mischance · 19/11/2020 16:56

I agree with OP.

I also agree with those who say folk will just do what they want. I am in an at rick category - they are happily risking my life for the sake of a family party.

Mischance · 19/11/2020 16:57

....at risk...

Tessiot · 19/11/2020 17:02

@BohemianDream

Cancel Christmas? Do you have children? Or are your children all grown up so it doesn't matter much to you anyway? I shall be enjoying Christmas and there is feck all you, the government or covid can do about it. BiscuitWineBrewCakeFlowersDaffodilStar
Agree with you in mind, except for "...there is feck all......covid can do about it."

In fact, covid will be doing a lot this December. That is the point.

Tararararara · 19/11/2020 17:08

Tessiot

I have young, Santa-believing, ridiculously excited about Christmas children.

We will be staying home, having Christmas just us and my children will give not one flying fuck - why? Because Santa will still come, the tree will still be decorated, the Christmas films still watched, they will make themselves sick on chocolate for breakfast and they will face time granny and nana who have already had the gifts delivered to us.

It isn't cancelling Christmas, it is celebrating Christmas in a way that doesn't increase everyone's risk of covid, endanger the economy by causing a longer lockdown or impacting more negatively on the NHS.

"I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future."

BogRollBOGOF · 19/11/2020 17:10

But Christmas is not cancelled. You do not need to SEE every single relative on one day.
Anyone else remember childhood Christmas's where you wouldn't leave the house all Christmas Day?

Spread visits out over Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, the Sunday and the extra BH on the Monday. If you can.

Do visits in shifts

Our normal Christmas is in shifts from 24th Dec to New Year. But without an amnesty on socialising, it's basically illegal for a family of 4 to do that because to see any cousin tips you over the rule of 6 unless you go through an ineffective farce of exluding people to maintain a game of arbitary numbers.

Since last Christmas, my DCs have seen 1x paternal cousins and 2x days out with 58yo Grandma while we were on holiday 200 miles from home. That's it. Due to the logistics of travel, health, timings of restrictions and family confidence they haven't seen the majority of their family since Christmas last year, and for their paternal family it's already 13m. That's a long time to be disconnected from your family when you're a 9yo with ASD and 7.

The majority of the build up to Christmas is cancelled. Outings, carol services, parties, school events. Oh throw in a 10th birthday affected within a week of Christmas too; with one month to go, I don't know if it is legal to arrange for a 9 & 10 year old to meet out of school to celebrate.

I'm not asking for a huge, cramped drunken gathering. Just a legal right to a family life on accordance with human rights laws so that we can make sensible arrangements with people we love.

And a quiet Christmas Day at home is much nicer when there's a trip out to the Christmas morning services, but all the rules about keeping places of worship Covid-secure make that a joyless chore, not a spiritual celebration.

Tararararara · 19/11/2020 17:16

Since last Christmas, my DCs have seen 1x paternal cousins and 2x days out with 58yo Grandma while we were on holiday 200 miles from home. That's it. Due to the logistics of travel, health, timings of restrictions and family confidence they haven't seen the majority of their family since Christmas last year, and for their paternal family it's already 13m. That's a long time to be disconnected from your family when you're a 9yo with ASD and 7.

And 2021 will be a similar affair if we run amok over Christmas!

I haven't seen my dad since January as we live a fair bit apart and both in areas where restrictions have been in place almost constantly since March. I'd love to see him at Christmas, but I won't be.

redtinheart · 19/11/2020 17:17

Who said anything about running amok? I just want to see my elderly parents who I've not seen since the summer.

GetOffYourHighHorse · 19/11/2020 17:24

'It isn't cancelling Christmas, it is celebrating Christmas in a way that doesn't increase everyone's risk of covid, endanger the economy by causing a longer lockdown or impacting more negatively on the NHS. "I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future."

Yes. If you really care about your relatives then don't see them, or if you do then just stay on the doorstep and wish them a merry Christmas. How much grimmer will January be if people just decide to do what they want for Christmas.

HeyBaby2020 · 19/11/2020 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

year5teacher · 19/11/2020 17:38

I do think it’s easy to say “have a low key Christmas” when that doesn’t mean “spend the entire festive period totally alone”. Like, forgive me if after months of working totally unprotected through a second wave and not seeing my family I want to be around them at a special time. Jesus.

year5teacher · 19/11/2020 17:40

And if anyone accuses me of “not caring about my parents” then they can fuck off, frankly.

blueytacky · 19/11/2020 17:49

@year5teacher I think your being totally reasonable to want to see your family, some people on here have gone mad!

I hope you have a lovely christmas with your family.

stairway · 19/11/2020 17:51

They’re your parents year5teacher only you know if they are vulnerable. I do a high risk job too and will be working on Xmas day however I won’t be seeing my parents at all as for me it’s not worth the risk when a vaccine in imminent.

blueytacky · 19/11/2020 17:53

@stairway I'm sure she's intelligent enough to mitigate any risk to her parents as am I.

unmarkedbythat · 19/11/2020 17:58

The language being used here is ridiculous.

It is not banning Christmas Hmm or cancelling Christmas Hmm to leave the same restrictions in effect over the Christmas period.