Is anyone else keeping Covid a secret??

[Sadhoot]

I had a very bizarre conversation with my mother this evening. She has Covid, as does the entire household.

She was talking about it in hushed tones, like it's something to be ashamed of, like it's a scandal. She said that "some people" will want nothing to do with you if they find out you have it, so I should keep the fact that I have Covid to myself as well. She's literally not telling anyone except her work, as she has to self-isolate.

My 8 year old returned to school after his 14 days isolation after my baby had been poorly with COVID. One parent has been disgusting in his behavior telling his child he isnt to play with mine any more because he will get the virus from him 😡. Wont even say hello to me anymore. I cant believe how horrible he has been.

My mum has just tested positive and is telling everyone she knows. Mainly because she literally hasn’t left the house since April and can’t believe how unlucky she is!

I wish I kept it a secret when I had it. I lost two 'friends' from being open about my positive result.

Being worried about having tested positive meant that I'm part of the problem "believing the government"

No loss to me. Idiots actually.

It stung at the time though.

@Sadhoot

For the love of Christ, I can't quite believe the ignorance and ridiculous attitudes maybe I was a bit harsh on my mum...

You've not seen some of the paranoia on Mumsnet over the last eight months?

Some people are losing their minds out there. I wouldn't blame anyone for keeping their illness to themselves. Normally this sort of thing wouldn't cross my mind. I don't get ashamed easily or hide things away. But some people's mental health has gone to pot, and some people just want to think the worst of others. Why risk being judged by these people?

I heard a newsreader on one programme (quoting an interviewed passer-by, thankfully - not part of their own news script) saying that going out in public for non-essential purposes and/or not wearing a mask was effectively the same as walking down the High Street and taking people out with a machine gun. This is the mentality that we risk having to deal with.

I also read on MN a number of people with spouses/family members working in the NHS saying that they wanted them (the NHS worker) to move out to avoid passing it on to them. Yes: they were happy for their loved one to go out to work and potentially catch the virus, but it would be so dreadful for them to catch it (not vulnerable IIRC) that it was worth splitting up the family potentially for months - and of course, it wasn't themselves who they expected to leave their own home but somebody faithfully serving the country in adverse circumstances.

My 8 year old returned to school after his 14 days isolation after my baby had been poorly with COVID. One parent has been disgusting in his behavior telling his child he isnt to play with mine any more because he will get the virus from him 😡. Wont even say hello to me anymore. I cant believe how horrible he has been.

You look at how nastily people suffering from leprosy were treated in the past and rejoice in how much better informed and kinder we are nowadays. Then, something like this happens and you have to give your calendar a shake to see if it stopped a century or more ago.

CovidClara

Gosh, I'm sorry to hear that. I'll have a look at those threads in the morning.

I've noticed that parole aren't naming it. They're saying "X tested positive" or "X has the virus". School emails refer to the numbers of "cases".

So when my daughter contracted it, I texted everyone saying "DD has tested positive for COVID-19". Just to be clear.

Otherwise it's all a bit 'Voldemort'

I didn’t keep it secret. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s a virus this is what it does.

I think people in general totally overestimate their ability to control health outcomes. You can follow all the “rules” and still get Covid / cancer / dementia/ whatever, despite what public health messaging might imply or what (scared, ignorant) people might want to believe.

MIL has always had this weird attitude that getting sick or ill is a personal failing brought about by people not following the “rules” or just “giving in” to it. Ironic then that, she has ended up in a nursing home with dementia, osteoporosis and Parkinson’s while drinking, smoking, fried food loving FIL is fit as a fiddle.

We can’t control health outcomes. That’s not to say we shouldn’t try - for the good of society and ourselves we should do our best to live a “good” life, but there are no guarantees, and we cannot sit in judgement of what people cannot control.

If anyone in my household tests positive, I will put a note on the front door so that postmen and delivery staff can ensure they take the most stringent measures to protect themselves when delivering food/goods/mail to us. I have complied with all laws and rules and would not be ashamed.

I told family and quite a few close friends. It helped to have people keeping in touch. It also meant we had lots of offers of help with shopping etc We had a tesco delivery booked so didn't have to take them up but it was actually comforting to know the offers of support were there.

MiL swore us to secrecy over one of the family households being infected. They're all exposed through schools/ universities, and it's just an illness so my reaction is a mix of "hope they're ok" and "who cares" as in there is no moral value attached to people catching an infectuous illness.

I wouldn't keep it secret. I would let people that I'd seen know for their wellbeing.

No one goes around condemning people as granny-killers over the flu, which is also major granny-killing illness.

Mindyou, part of the hysteria is that people underestimate the severity of common illnesses such as flu and norovirus. I've seen posts from people hysterical about Covid, deny that flu and norivirus kill, when every winter the NHS is pushed to its limits at their peak season.

I told everyone I had it back in march (we were in lockdown so didn't see anyone personally)..wouldn't have occurred to me to feel ashamed .
I basically told them because I felt the worst i have ever felt in my life and I wanted everyone to take precaution and take it seriously as I honestly didn't want anyone to go through what I'd gone through.

Mindyou, part of the hysteria is that people underestimate the severity of common illnesses such as flu and norovirus.

That's true, actually - people tend to be eager to tell everybody that they have flu, when they just have a bad cold; yet with covid, it's the exact opposite.

I feel very sorry for people who genuinely get flu - the sort where, as they always say, a £50 note could come floating past six feet in front of you and you wouldn't feel able to reach out and grab it. So many people claim flu with mild under-the-weather symptoms, that it just makes folk think that a genuine sufferer is being overdramatic. It's a bit like how many people think that depression is 'getting a bit sad sometimes' and thus belittle the challenges faced by those with actual clinical depression.

@Ohdoleavemealone

Surely by the time she leaves isolation people wont care as she will no longer be contagious?

No so sure baiyun. That. I know some people who had it twice. One in rapid succession, ie was well for a week or two an then sick again, while another fríend of a friend has had it March and again in September.

I tested positive and told people and was treated completely different during and after it so I can understand but I honestly thought given it was a global pandemic like that people would be nice but I guess people are twats aren’t they x

Looking at the number of people proudly boasting they haven't had Covid as they haven't been anywhere, WFH, had food deliveries etc (while ignoring the number of people who had to leave home to facilitate that for them), being blamed for Covid doesn't surprise me.

Conversely, when my DDs had an infectious, notifible disease 18months ago (officially an outbreak as there were two of them) everyone just found it curious. Luckily it didn't spread. No idea where they picked it up, I suspect a plane journey we took the week before.

When I was young people used to speak in whispers about cancer. As if it was distressing and shameful to say the word out loud. Is you mother elderly Sadhoot? I always thought it was a generation thing to whisper certain words, like cancer, TB, adultery and divorce etc.

If people are keeping it a secret maybe that's why I still only know one person who has had it.

That makes me sad as she's obviously worried.

My 2 year old DD has it. We are all in isolation. I let my ‘mum friend’ neighbours know as we would rely on them for food etc and then let everyone else know via Facebook. Obviously close contacts were told the minute we knew and they are isolating. The support people have shown has been amazing. Offers of activities for the kids dropped to the door, cards for my daughter, home cooked food etc has been heartwarming.

No idea where she got it! We all tested negative. She’s the one with the least outside contact 🤷‍♀️

We aren’t ashamed, we followed all the rules and still got it!

Please send some wine 🍷!

I’d tell the handful of people I’ve been in contact with. As I’ve been isolated since January for other health reasons they are actually the only people I could catch it from! I wouldn’t blame them though.

My Mum used to talk about cancer in those hushed tones. She had symptoms and wouldn't get treatment till too late.

If I catch it it'll be from work. I won't be ashamed of that and will be quite open with the pupils I teach. They would probably know anyway as I would be at home rather than at school, and quite a few of them would need to isolate as well (the ones on the front row aren't 2m away from my desk)

I might not tell my parents or my sister until I knew how ill I was. Because they would worry, and there's literally nothing they need to do as we can't see each other ATM, and I don't want them to try and come to help, as they are all more vulnerable than I am. That's not shame about it though, that's not wanting to worry people.