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Original poster

Is anyone else keeping Covid a secret??

119 replies

Sadhoot · 07/11/2020 20:00

I had a very bizarre conversation with my mother this evening. She has Covid, as does the entire household.

She was talking about it in hushed tones, like it's something to be ashamed of, like it's a scandal. She said that "some people" will want nothing to do with you if they find out you have it, so I should keep the fact that I have Covid to myself as well. She's literally not telling anyone except her work, as she has to self-isolate.

OP posts:
JayDot500 · 07/11/2020 21:57

Yep. A family member recently caught it from a routine OP in the hospital.

Her 'D'H didn't start isolating when she went for the test not when she tested positive (he's one of those 'covid isn't a big issue' people). She dare not tell anyone else because, of course, people will look at her husband in a different light. I certainly do.

I find it funny when other family members say 'I don't know anyone who has had it'... yes you bloody do!

RoxanneMonke · 07/11/2020 21:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mrsjayy · 07/11/2020 21:57

Recently*

JayDot500 · 07/11/2020 21:58

nor*

sleepymumm · 07/11/2020 21:58

I don't think I would tell anyone either as people start treating you as a disease even if you've recovered from it. Plus people who know you would make assumptions "well that's what you would get if you go out to restaurants and bars and do shopping and not wash your hands".

saraclara · 07/11/2020 21:59

I thought I had it right at the beginning of all this when there was no testing. I quarantined myself and was open about it. But back then people thought you were unlucky if you caught it. Now (unless you have kids in school) there's an assumption by many that you were careless in some way if you get it.

DontKnowHowToReact · 07/11/2020 22:02

I really wouldn’t want to be known as the one that caused the whole bubble to be sent home from school and I’m sure plenty of parents keep a low profile for this reason

We don't have a choice. The head informs the whole school for reasons of transparency when there is a case related to school. They name the teacher/child, class. If it's a parent who has tested positive, they also put the dates the child will have to isolate until. For a teacher they just say "close contact".

saraclara · 07/11/2020 22:02

@LifeAndSoulOfThe

My mum has it and she has told her children & her workplace. Nobody else, I think she worries people will blame her if they now catch it
I don't blame her. I've always found it weird when people claim that they know who gave them a cold. And it's happening with covid too. People claim with great certainty that they know exactly where they got it (when they don't even know if the person they blame, who coughed near them in the supermarket) even had covid.
graceelli121 · 07/11/2020 22:03

Yes! Irish traveller family over here, auntie, uncle and cousins have covid - they’ve told everyone they have a “bad cold” and are self isolating and have told my mam not to tell anyone.

I wonder what it is with them

katienana · 07/11/2020 22:10

I think a lot of people are not worried so much about catching the virus but about having to isolate.
My son had to isolate for 12 days over the whole of half term because of a case in his class. I am not convinced that the positive case adhered to the guidelines correctly as they attended school when a member of their household was awaiting a test result. So I do feel a little bit annoyed by that but I recognise that the rules are confusing, not easy for everyone to stick to (how do you get emergency childcare in that situation) and its the shambolic test n trace system that is fucking this up for everyone.
The tories are only used to cutting services not setting them up and investing in them!

Joynot · 07/11/2020 22:12

I know about 10 different people who have had it. Completely unrelated
I only felt concern, wouldn’t have entered my head to blame them
This is awful

katienana · 07/11/2020 22:12

@DontKnowHowToReact

I really wouldn’t want to be known as the one that caused the whole bubble to be sent home from school and I’m sure plenty of parents keep a low profile for this reason

We don't have a choice. The head informs the whole school for reasons of transparency when there is a case related to school. They name the teacher/child, class. If it's a parent who has tested positive, they also put the dates the child will have to isolate until. For a teacher they just say "close contact".

I think that's really bad from your school and possibly illegal under data protection
SunshineCake · 07/11/2020 22:20

Months ago I told someone I had had it and they said I was brave telling them. Hmm. They suggested it was a bad idea to tell anyone.

As for schools telling other parents who has it. Utter bollocks. We get the year to let us know how relevant to our child. No names. That is not true.

Smelliethenelephant · 07/11/2020 22:22

This thread actually makes me sad and frightened for my kids when they go back to school next week after dealing with Covid. I've told them to just be honest about it, but how can I expect they won't be stigmatised given the crap some adults on here are coming out with.

GeorgiaGirl52 · 07/11/2020 22:27

My DD1 was in a chain to sell and buy a house. Paperwork done and date to exchange set. She and her husband tested positive for covid and the other buyers pulled out because they did not want to live in a contaminated house. They are both well now and back at work, and their house is back on the market, but with very few viewers because the agents have to tell potential viewers that there has been covid.

OnceBitten25 · 07/11/2020 22:33

I have it. Tested positive earlier this week. I haven't told my mum as I know she would be extremely worried and this could have a detrimental effect on her MH.

My work is aware, my daughter's school is aware as is my OH's place of work.

Some family members know and my friends know too. I'm not bothered if anyone else knows.

TableFlowerss · 07/11/2020 22:33

I can see where she’s coming from to be fair. I don’t think I’d shout about it if I did have it tbh.

Katya213 · 07/11/2020 22:43

I got tested as I had symptoms, isolated and got a test that took ten days to come back inconclusive, then got a negative, meanwhile, my son's best friend and family at school who we met the week before all go down with it and test positive...guess who gets the blame....me!!!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 07/11/2020 22:45

Some of these posts make me despair. Would you expect a moral judgement on youif you caught flu? If you caught norovirus? If you live with anyone working or being educated outside the home you don't control the situation. Please stop perpetuating the fear and blame.

No, because flu and norovirus haven't been demonised and led to decisions causing the destruction of the economy for decades to come, ruined millions of families' financial, educational and emotional wellbeing and changed society and our liberties indefinitely. With the other illnesses, we give our condolences to the sufferers and take sensible precautions to avoid getting it from them, especially if in a vulnerable category, and then get on with our lives.

Covid, otoh, has become a huge stigma and many, many people cannot or will not distinguish between somebody who has the virus (or did have or has been in contact with somebody with it) and the virus itself. You aren't just somebody who has been struck with an illness - you are a disgusting, irresponsible pariah trying to kill people (even if you're a HCP doing a wonderful job on the front line) and we don't want to be anywhere within a hundred miles of you, anywhere you've ever been or anything you've ever touched. It's useless to try and argue with them using basic science and facts.

Frannibananni · 07/11/2020 22:49

Relatives in Australia live in a over 50s lifestyle resort and had a couple get it, they were totally ostracised and talked about nonstop. I think it all calmed down as they recovered as my aunt hasn’t been talking about them but it sounded like they were treated horribly.

billybear · 07/11/2020 22:54

my hubby has very severe mental health he has only been out twice since march hospital appointments. i go out twice a week shopping and daily quick visit to my very ill dad , i dare not cough in our house as hubby is terrified of getting the virus,he keeps says i need to get a test done if i cough once its driving me mad ,so god help us if i catch it he will lose the plot completley. he watches daily on news .its getting worse

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 07/11/2020 22:56

I wouldn’t share but I wouldn’t share any kind of illness as not a fan of SM and am naturally quite private.

Jeremyironseverything · 07/11/2020 23:05

I've broadcast it to the world and his wife but I'm sure I didn't pass it on to anyone other than my immediate family. If I had known I'd been in contact with others, and the cause of them becoming ill, I might be a little less forthcoming.

LindyLou2020 · 07/11/2020 23:05

@Sadhoot

I had a very bizarre conversation with my mother this evening. She has Covid, as does the entire household.

She was talking about it in hushed tones, like it's something to be ashamed of, like it's a scandal. She said that "some people" will want nothing to do with you if they find out you have it, so I should keep the fact that I have Covid to myself as well. She's literally not telling anyone except her work, as she has to self-isolate.

I'm wondering if there is a different atmosphere now between Lockdown 1 and Lockdown 2? Back in March, I knew personally around half a dozen people who had contracted Covid-19 - fortunately they all recovered. Restrictions were far less severe than they are now, (this was before Lockdown 1). All these people, quite rightly, had nothing but love, help, and good wishes from me and others who knew them. Now that we know so much more about the virus, and how it can be spread, (whether you agree or not with the way it has been handled is not the issue here), and and there is so much coverage of people flouting the rules.....I wonder if there is an element of "if people have caught it, it's their own fault" mentality? Anybody I know now who contracts the virus would get the same love, help, and good wishes from me this time around. But it's gone on so much longer than we hoped for back in the spring, the consequences are so dire, and we're all pissed off with it to put it mildly. It's become a very divisive issue, and I wonder if people who contract the virus now somehow feel some kind of shame and guilt? If so, you will get no judgement from me, just good wishes, and hope that you have a good outcome. This is a vile virus that takes no prisoners x
elkiedee · 07/11/2020 23:30

I wouldn;'t mind talking about me but

(a) I can understand why someone else might
(b) I am getting more edgy about sharing various things on social media which are not just about me but are about, say, family of family or friends/acquaintances
(c) I have quite a complicated family in terms of parents and several step parents and other relatives who have had 3+ marriages or similar long term relationships, and there are good reasons for wanting to be sure that people don't learn something from FB and think or even ask, with good reason, why didn't she let me know that rather than just happening to find out via social media

I am reeling slightly from news that we have lost a local friend to COVID - I am in a very urban part of London but even so it can feel like a village sometimes (perhaps not Ambridge but still....) And someone who is not directly related to me but is an older and loved member of my very extended family is very ill with it in hospital. It's not a secret but it's not my news to share. I was told by another family member and we need to communicate such news in a kind and considerate way.