It feels enjoyment of life has become socially unacceptable

[inuet]

Firstly I am.not against the current nor previous restrictions. I am aware of the sacrifices and difficulties faced by frontline NHS workers. I am also aware of the sacrifices made by those who were killed in the 2 world wars. But it is beginning to feel as if there is a nationwide perhaps even worldwide competition to see who can out misery the other. The utter utter drivel posted here during the Spring restrictions about how everyone's neighbours were having parties and how someone buying a chocolate bar would lead to bodies bursting out of hospitals, the sick sick air of Hyacinth Bucket meets Margaret Thatcher sanctimoniousness that seems to be everywhere, the compulsory addition of "the fuck" to the imperative "stay at home", the way young and poorer people have been thrown under a bus socially and economically, the "close pubs open schools" mantra. I'm just sick to death of it, & genuinely cannot ever see how a quality of life, friends, bars, concerts, trips away will ever return. It feels like everyone has turned into a curtain twitching moralist, it is illegal not to have a frontline NHS NHS worker in your family and we should never ever ever utter any words of sadness for the old life because people died in the Second World War. I hate what life has become.

@KitKatastrophe, no we are very close. They live abroad and my DH was very ill beginning of the year which is why I didn’t see them before lockdown.
If you read my posts I am saying I am sick of the out of proportion moaning over not being able to go to the pub for a month. Seems to me so
moaning from people who really don’t have that much to moan about. It’s healthy to have perspectives on your own situation right?

@NickVanDyke
We have no quality of life and no way out.

Tell someone living in Yemen or the Sudan that we in Britain have no quality of life.

@TibetanTerrier that’s typical of what OP is talking about and not helpful at all .

[quote TibetanTerrier]@NickVanDyke
We have no quality of life and no way out.

Tell someone living in Yemen or the Sudan that we in Britain have no quality of life.[/quote]
The problem with this kind of competitive suffering is it is bottomless. Who had it worse- Yemenis in 2020 or Jews and others in concentration camps in 1939. Should people with serious mental and physical health problems in Britain shut up and be grateful they weren't of the generation conscripted to the killing fields of The Somme in WW1? Should those who found living on constant fear of death and deprivation in London during the Blitz have had someone tell them 'what are you complaining about- you didn't live in Armenia during the genocide and you have less risk of certain lifestyle diseases than someone in America in 2020 because rations kept calorie intake lower and you were more physically active?

We have no quality of life and no way out.
I have a good quality of life, thanks. There is plenty to enjoy about life still. If you concentrate on the negative then that is how you will feel. Happiness isn't derived from an external source but from within. Try and focus on the good things in your life and you will automatically feel better.

the majority of the general population seem to be ultra-conformist and love wallowing in misery.
Complying with the rules doesn't go hand in hand with wallowing in misery. I'm compliant and feeling fine. I know this won't last forever and refuse to be dragged down by the negativity of others as much as I can. It's sometimes difficult as I'm grieving the loss of a parent. Just as people create their own misery, they also create their own happiness. Just decide to be happy.

It does feel that we can neither share positive or negative emotions in some spaces. It isn't entirely new - there have always been people who act like it's a moral failing to not toe an emotion line they want to control, this is just their latest excuse. I hate it.

If we're happy about something, then we're accused of somehow missing that people have died, that people are suffering. Don'cha know, there's a worldwide pandemic going on, keep that to yourself, -- your positivity is just heartless and toxic to those suffering more, you selfish asshole.

If we express any upset, then we just aren't grateful enough for our health and that things could be far worse. Don'cha know there are wars and dictatorships in the world, you can just decide to be happy, your negativity is just heartless and toxic to those suffering more, you selfish asshole.

It can be draining if a lot of the people around you try this, but I think a lot of people accept it's a lot more complicated than either of those extremes and that humans have a wide range of emotional reactions. Finding people to talk about them at the moment is hard, a lot of good coping mechanisms for these things have become hard to come by these days.

It is upsetting but it won't be forever. In the meantime try and cheer up.

Someone said that if you go out other than to shop, you are selfish and spreading disease.

The problem with this kind of competitive suffering is it is bottomless.

I find this a straw man argument. The idea that we're insanely privileged as a starting point has merit. It has to. It's useful to have some frame of reference when we're thinking about harm caused, precisely so we can tell when something has gone so far that a drastic change of course is required. Nerve gas used on Syrian children is clearly something that should horrify in a way that Paris Hilton's struggles don't. Doesn't mean we need to classify and diminish the suffering of others or turn it into a competition. No harm or suffering is to be tolerated or welcomed unnecessarily.

What a lot of whinging on this thread! I get that for some people the pandemic and lockdown have brought awful situations, unemployment, financial ruin, ill health, family death or similar, mental illness, ridiculous working hours or pressures... But if your complaint is that you can't go to the pub, pop to the shop for a browse of non essentials, have a dinner party or go on holiday then really, I think you probably need to pipe down. Find your joy in something else - walking, exercise, reading, films on tv, cooking, playing with kids, making/creating something, looking through old photos, talking to friends or family, job hunting, daydreaming about something you'd like to do... to say there's no joy allowed anymore is just demonstrating lack of imagination.

It's ok to feel shit. This is a shit time.

It's ok to miss the pub and nights out with friends. Social interactions are part of humanity.

It's ok to miss spending time with family.

The anger and vitriol is understandable. It's ok to be angry. This situation and the restrictions are unheard of in our lifetime.

What is not ok is extending that anger to others.

I do it myself, I see people with masks under their noses and think "twat"

I see people on facebook showing pictures of gatherings which are against the rules and I think "twat"

But I don't act on it, I don't let them know that's what I think.

I have not witnessed anger, neighbour bashing etc anywhere in real life. It's all been on social media and mumsnet. So if it's upsetting you then you should probably step away (I know that's easier said than done)

It's funny because when we first went into lockdown in March people on here were pretty much hysterical about stuff. For example saying things like by driving to exercise you were putting people at risk in case you had a crash. Or by driving to a further away supermarket you were also posing the same risk. Or by spending longer in the supermarket looking at clothier you were putting others at massive risk. Or how by sitting far away from people in a quiet field you were a selfish t**t.

Fair enough we knew less about the virus and how is spread but it wasn't fucking ebola!

So I thought this time we might hear less of this. But there's all this shiz again. With the how long can we exercise for questions and what counts as essential. I'm up for lockdown as I think we have unfortunately got back to needing it. But honestly people are fucking redic.

I hear you. I feel so fed up!! Feel like I’m sinking into a depression.

The way some people go in you’d think it was Ebola 🙄

on*

Honestly don’t know how people would cope if it was actually killing huge swathes of the population or how people will react when something really deadly crops ip

I think it’s more worrying that people can’t do without really pointless stuff to enjoy life. I struggle to understand how people’s quality of life is damaged by not having a cinema to go to.

Everyone I know is working same as always and therefore meeting people all day. Even my “lovey” friends are all doing supermarket work in order to ride this period out and are working as hard as they ever did.

Shops are mostly open with clothes shoos doing click and collect or online stuff. Doctors, dentists, garden centres...even my Botox place is still taking people M .All the pubs near me are doing takeaways and drinks to go.People are still seeing their friends and chatting to their parents on the phone.
If fact I’m amazed by all the people desperate to see their parents this year when typically people seemed happy with an odd phone call and a visit under duress.

It’s just a thing to drone on about how shit it all is. Even when it really isn’t. Which takes away from the people that have lost friends and family or their jobs and are having a shit time.

If fact I’m amazed by all the people desperate to see their parents this year when typically people seemed happy with an odd phone call and a visit under duress.

You realise how sociopathic this sounds, right?

Ok, clearly I’m wrong for feeling shit about not having seen some members of my family for almost a year with no prospect of that changing. I will book myself in for re-education forthwith.

@Leflic it’s the fact that we are being told what we can and can’t do, what we can and can’t buy, where we can and can’t go, who we can and can’t see in our own private homes.

@leflic my parents live in another country, where covid is currently worse than the Uk. I have not seen them this year and I don’t think I will. I just don’t think it’s safe to travel to see them, I would feel awful if I brought it from the aiport/plane to them, as both have underlying health conditions. Just have a little more empathy please. Some people really do struggle and may be in grieving. This is not about missing pubs, ffs.

The OP is mainly referring to pubs, concerts, trips away and that is what people are commenting on

That’s nice for your friends working as normal and seeing people - not everyone is in that situation. I’m on maternity leave and can now get fuck all support despite having PND and really struggling. My husband is out working long hours and I am left alone with a toddler and a young baby and a ban on anything which would help - health visitors, baby groups, but mainly accessing the practical support from my family which I have found so valuable. I used to see my mum 3-4 times per week.

I understand the reasons for the restrictions and am complying but your post was bloody glib. If you actually think anyone is upset about “not having a cinema” to go to then you honestly just have no idea of the reality of this situation for a lot of people.

That was to leflic

@Bathroom12345

We need to ring fence the care homes. I honestly dont care now if people think we are 'picking' on the old people. Its them that we are doing this for. Of course there are younger people dying (just like in real life) but looking at the stats it vastly attacks the older people.

In March there would be outrage if we tried to tell older people to shield. Now I think we should do it.

I don't understand what you mean by 'ring fence the care homes '. Apart from the staff that work there , there has been no-one going in and out of most care homes for months. They are already fenced in and whether the rest of us lockdown or not has no effect on care homes as they are already locked down . And are likely to be until God knows when if it needs a rate of less then 20/100,000 for them to reopen

OP I agree there is a lot of nastiness posted, and I think this comes from both sides of the fence . Yes things are difficult now and particularly for younger people . But I think we need to have faith that things will turn around ams we will get some quality of life back again . This might depend on the area you live but for some areas I felt that we were heading back to some where near normal at the end of the summer with people being able to meet up with friends , go out for a meal or drink and go on holiday . It will be a difficult 4 weeks but even if we still have further refractions afterwards try to think of what you can do within the restrictions eg my area had just gone into Tier 2, but we found a pub with a gazebo covered area with heaters so we would still have been able to meet up there . Hopefully people who are being furloughed for the next 4 weeks will get their jobs back again . Maybe plan something nice for next year ? My DH/DS have just booked to go to a concert next May and we have a rearranged holiday later on . Just hoping things will be better by Spring and looking for positive where I can find it .