How can you do this to your children (and yourselves)?

[endoftheworldaoife]

It has been six months and it's now very clear that covid won't be doing away in our lifetimes. A vaccine won't eradicate it (just as a vaccine didn't eradicate flu).

Most of you seem to be willing to accept social distancing and masks for the foreseeable. And I don't get it. We are a tribal species. We literally die without contact and get sick without communication. Kids are learning arrange, stilted ways of being that will just worsen their digital reliance. OCD is being normalised. Dating will be neurotic and masked. Freshers won't make new loves or lifelong friends like we did. As for their working lives...

I wouldn't mind catching covid (indeed I'm sure we all will sooner or later) so can someone explain to me what on earth is happening in their heads to tip the balance? If it only affected us, I could understand (well, I couldn't but this feels like child abuse on a giant scale).

I am confused. Human interactions are not so fragile that they disappear because someone wears a mask, sits further on the park bench or waves instead of hugging.

My kids are back at school. They play with friends and do clubs all within guidelines. I take walks with friends instead of meeting for a cuppa for example. And I am way better at eye rolling / expressions now that I have to wear a mask. Working on my Paddington stare .

We will adapt for now and hopefully it is not forever.

I can guarantee that nobody on here will be wearing a mask in 2348

What if they have themselves stuffed and displayed in the family home wearing a mask?

Maybe we should be glad this has happened now? A pandemic is always just around the corner. The last one was 100 years ago.

This time round we have:-
A welfare state
A free at the point of use healthcare service
Internet along with various apps for communication
An IT heavy workforce who can, in the Main, adapt well to home working
Generally safer warmer, better insulated homes with better utilities
A school provision which is adaptable and can access online resources
Supermarkets and dining establishments who are able to quickly and easily adapt to online provision and delivery services.

I wouldn't mind catching covid (indeed I'm sure we all will sooner or later) so can someone explain to me what on earth is happening in their heads to tip the balance?

Do you think a child would be unaffected by their parent becoming subject to LongCovid, having to see them struggle to breathe, rushed in and out of hospital for months, unable to walk properly or run after them or play with them?

While death rates do seem to do with age to a great extent, LongCovid seems a lot less "discerning" in that way. Could equally well happen to a previously healthy 40yo.

I agree that the current situation is bad for children. But "I wouldn't mind catching Covid" is a horribly thoughtless way of speaking when families up and down the country are dealing with the horrendous fall-out of the illness.

What has tipped the balance for me has been thinking about the impact on their families of several previously fit and healthy colleagues developing long-term problems from LongCovid. People I worked with and laughed with in early March still unable to do simple household tasks without extreme exhaustion or go for a walk, not knowing when if ever they will be able to return to work. Do we really suppose that doesn't effect their children? My children are grown up now and even so I wouldn't want them to have to deal with this.

@awesomeaircraft Paddington stare of course!

I don't think that's really a logical way to view things @SockYarn

Yes, sensible people have embraced masks and SD. Arseholes on the other hand snitch on neighbours and mask shame.

They're two separate stands (or degrees) of behaviours and most people do one but not the other.

For us as a family things aren’t really any different, except for mask wearing in shops etc.
Dd thrives at nursery, she has cuddles when she falls and they scoop her back up again. Ds is at school , loves seeing his friends, goes to footie outside of school.

We see grandparents if they aren’t working, never all of us though as older DSS is often working at weekends.

Their cousins live abroad so don’t see them much anyway!

Friends they can still seen, even with the rule of 6.

For me it’s the older generation this has impacted the most, people have become socially isolated, they’ve become lonely and their Health has declined.
Life goes on, for my DS the biggest sadness for him was that playgyms shut 🙈 But he has loved the extra time he has spent with us.

I’m happy with the restrictions because I believe there is an end in sight?! There will be a vaccine, we will have news on it before Christmas no doubt. I care about others, I care about not infecting them.
My kids are having a lovely life still, seeing friends at school, meeting up for walks, exchanging gifts on birthdays. As a family we go on bike rides, bake, watch movies, read together.
It’s not all bad is it?!

@SoupDragon

I can guarantee that nobody on here will be wearing a mask in 2348

What if they have themselves stuffed and displayed in the family home wearing a mask?

Oh bugger!! That's blown my theory then.

@sunglassesonthetable I agree. I have't seen any of this shaming people or snitching on neighbours in real life. Our whole road has come together and supported each others. Several brought us food deliveries, we returned that favour once we were able to. There was camaraderie with people checking in on older neighbours who live alone and several whole street zoom meetings to help identify those in need. It's been quite lovely and we've gotten to know people we've lived near for years, but had never really spoken to before. My parents' road has been similar. I know that this may be the exception, but from what I've heard from friends, everyone has been supportive of others and no one snitched on anyone. It seems to be an online phenomena.

Honestly OP what an utterly ridiculous post. No one is being kept in solitary confine, we have simply got some very minor restrictions on our day to day lives! If your children are likely to be as damaged as you seem to think by a period of everything not being completely free and 'normal' then I suspect the problem lies rather more with you that the restrictions. The world is full of children who manage to live through, survive and even thrive in the most challenging of circumstances i.e war, famine and natural disaster. The idea that having to wear a mask intermittently and modify the way you are around big groups of people is some sort of massive trauma is simply absurd.

Freshers won't make new loves or lifelong friends like we did.

Good God, woman! You are clinically insane!

I think you're being really fucking dramatic op! This I going to be a small portion of all our lives. In particular reference to young people they adapt. Some things might be delayed for a while. Your talking as if students won't go to uni and have one night stands as freshers so will remain lonely spinsters all their lives.

If I could choose the weather the pandemic as an adult with a job in a precarious sector and a mortgage or a 18 year old popping off to uni I wouldn't be choosing the adult option.

I

@IwishIwasyoda

I agree OP

For me the saddest thing is that I realised that people rarely think about the impact on children / young people (and if they do they minimise the impact or come out with hackneyed comparisons to the war). My DS is still not doing his regular activities (not allowed/ back), he won't go anywhere he needs a mask because he cannot see well - glasses steam up a lot (children over 5 need to wear masks here), we now can no longer meet up with other families (rule of 6) ... I could go on.

And for those posters who say it's only been six months ... well that's a huge proportion of a child's life. It's a small fraction if you are 45. And a tiny amount if you are over 70 ...

Frankly if I was young I would be pretty hacked off by now as their needs / experiences seem to be low down the list of priorities.

So I am sort of following the rules but am prioritising my DC needs first and foremost.

You're enabling his restricted life!!

My DD wears glasses and has just come back from ice skating and is now going into town with a friend. If they steam up they steam up.

I think there are plenty of posters on this thread who need to realise that their anxieties are impacting how their children are behaving. If we teach them to adapt and live their lives that's surely better than 'oh you must stay home in case your glasses steam up'

Also you clearly don't know what OCD is!

Why are you happy to prevent your children from doing the same? It's utterly selfish - of you!

Because I don’t want my child’s elderly relatives to be taken from her before their time unnecessarily.

I'm not seeing mass hysteria where I live. Just respectful following of guidelines. No one is keeping their kids off here, mainly because I live in a very expensive part of England, all of the local schools are over subscribed. Hence if you keep your child off, you loose your school place.

People are out and about wearing masks. It's not the kind of area for mass house parties or races but they are happening in town.

What I cant do is invest massively in what others do in relation to covid. I can only deal with my life. One thing that is helping, is making my life smaller. I dont spy on my neighbours, it dont watch the news every day. I dont get upset about what I cant control, I save my energy for the things I cared about before and was trying to improve before (SEN education). Plenty of smaller issues that covid has made worse that we can control and campaign against.

But getting uptight about guidance coming from WHO or wearing masks etc is like rageing against the tide. You wont change any of it.

Get angry or involved with the rise in domestic violence or disabled children not getting a education. Both of these was a issue before and also will be after covid.

I must have imagined the passive aggressive comments in Waitrose yesterday then about SOME PEOPLE who think they're so special and wear a visor rather than a mask.

All this "it's not forever" - says who? We are told to wear masks because it either protects other people from catching it, or protects you, depending on who you listen to. Blanket rule, irrespective of how many cases are around. That's not going to change, is it? There are always going to be cases, always going to be that perceived risk of passing it on or catching it. So at what point does the government say enough with the masks, we're not making them compulsory any more? And then risk the hysterical reaction of OMG your (sic) murdering granny?

There is no endpoint. Parliaments across the world have agreed to all these sweeping new powers and anyone standing up and saying they think it's all pretty undemocratic really that this is all just being waves through without challenge is being labelled as a covid-denier, covidiot, conspiracy theorist or a wacko.

Worrying.

Actually, rule of 6 is different for us in Scotland - one person cannot have five friends over. There is a limit on the number of households that can meet - two! So at best one person could meet 1 friend from different households. So yeah I'm more with OP here.

I think it will be an issue for me if it goes on over a year/18 months. For now I see life as it is as a bloody shit but an annoying blip.

I'm not scared of dying from Covid I see that risk as minimal. What concerns me onlyslightly more is the amount of healthy 30yo being left with blood clots and lung damage and now months on, still living very poor quality lives as a result.

And even that us a small concern.

I think the first 12/18months of living with Covid is about preparation as a nation. Learning about it. I'm ok to go along with current redtructions in the short term a year maybe 18 months or so whilst we as a nation and globally find out as much as we can about this disease and get the infrastructure in place to deal with it accordingly.

Yes we know more than we did in Feb bit we are still on the back foot as a nation dealing with this. Friday saw Wales having the capacity for only 60 Covid19 tests. Over the UK as a whole we've run out of testing capacity (the lab work required).

You and I and our kids maybe ok and it's not just about protecting the old. I have a 14yo next door to us with CF. I follow the rules so his family can leave the house from time to time. My 18yo has a friend with cancer going through chemo, likewise I do what I can so again her brothers and sisters and parents can leave their house for essentials or whatever reason with reduced risk.

I've had cancer and one of my follow scans has been delayed 5months now. So I am very aware how Covid has impacted things and yes think some.stuff does need to return to a more normal level.

Yep I hate this life we now live but it's not just about how it impacts us as individuals/family units. Covid has impacted very ones life. I agree we can't live like this forever, but this is a brand new disease. A disease we thought was a respiratory illness back in February but is now being more considered a circulatory disease. I'm ok to tolerate these strict guidelines for the short term whilst we properly get to grips with it. Yes we know more than we did but there is so much we don't.

Hysteria OP. Ridiculous. As others have said, wearing a mask, standing away from people and seeing friends/family in small groups is not going to mentally scar people. And "old people are dying and they are at the end of their lives anyway" makes me FUCKING RAGE!! My parents are in their early 80s. According to stats, once at this age they have , on average, another EIGHT years left. How dare you think that's ok!! Even six months. Why do they not matter to you people? 😡

Yeah Covid hasn't eradicated rude arseholes in supermarkets 🤷🏻‍♀️

And "old people are dying and they are at the end of their lives anyway" makes me FUCKING RAGE!! My parents are in their early 80s. According to stats, once at this age they have , on average, another EIGHT years left. How dare you think that's ok!! Even six months. Why do they not matter to you people?

Couldn't agree more.

Parliaments across the world have agreed to all these sweeping new powers and anyone standing up and saying they think it's all pretty undemocratic really that this is all just being waves through without challenge is being labelled as a covid-denier, covidiot, conspiracy theorist or a wacko.

Do you think we should have a vote on every protective measure? Just let people do whatever they like regardless of the risk to others? I think the issue is that people are being asked to do things to protect others rather than to protect themselves and some are too selfish to see the point.

Worrying.

But accurate.

I must have imagined the passive aggressive comments in Waitrose yesterday then about SOME PEOPLE who think they're so special and wear a visor rather than a mask.

Just the one comment this whole time? Admittedly one more than I have received so you were so very unlucky. But no point in basing all your thinking on what people are like from one comment alone. Look for the good stuff, anyone being nice where you are?

You tell people they are fearful. Actually I’m not, but I can see that if I want my dc to go to school and businesses to remain open some mitigation is the right way to go.

What would you propose SockYarn?