To feel really shit about how people judged me for no mask.

[DidSheReallySayThat20]

For the record. I've previously tried wearing a mask until today. I have ptsd relating to being suffocated in a DV relationship. I spent years in therapy and on meds to cope daily.
The last few times I've come over funny and feeling like I'm goi g to have a panic attack which I haven't had one in 4 years.
I also suffer with anxiety shopping in a store where I don't normally shop.

The gp said I do not need to wear a mask and I have valid reason for exemption

Today shopping two different sets of people were vocal about it.. One was a mutter I could barely catch but I heard.. that's 4 no masks today and continued out of ear shot

I kept my head down I felt awful. Then a couple said excuse me, you are aware of the rules or Are you another young one who thinks they're above the law.. I ignored them. I wish I'd come back with a reply now.
Only ' good' thing was being called young at nr 40.

Its been on my mind since and I honestly have tried but the anxiety and stress they caused and thinking about it days up to shopping day and after wearing one I woild of ended up back on anti depressants because it affected me so badly.

@tornadoalley

Or shop online or get a home delivery now they are freeing up? Non mask wearers do put others at risk and I think this is where the animosity comes from. If you are feeling anxiety about masks maybe have a little more understanding of other people's anxiety about Covid? You are expecting the understanding to be all on their side, but are making no effort to allay their fears or at least wear a lanyard or sunflower badge, that give them the opportunity to be understanding

Society is a two way street.

Spot on.

If people can't wear masks, which are uncomfortable for us all; it's not as if anyone enjoys it, they need to double other efforts to mitigate risk. Get someone else to shop, stay well more than 2 metres from others, etc.

It's not a free pass to do whatever you want.

It is not ablist to tell someone who can't control themselves around others to stay home.
Ds has diagnosed anxiety and if going somewhere will make him so anxious he would be approaching others and bothering them, I wouldn't take him there.

On any thread where a person with autism or learning difficulties is doing that there would be people queueing up to say that person shouldn't be there. But anxious people hassling others for not wearing masks is apparently understandable.

@Wherehavetheteletubbiesgone

First of all I have anxiety and I get quite stressed and start to panic in a mask. It affects my breathing and then I have panic because of the breathing. However I always wear a mask out now often a n95 one that deliberately restricts my breathing for reasons of exposure therapy (an idea the NHS gave me). It genuinely worked for me. I think we have to be very careful here because this is a zero sum game me not wearing a mask makes it more likely for another person to catch covid. I am therefore taking rights from them to me. I am therefore uncomfortable with that. We as a country seem to give exceptions for everything consequently more people here don't wear a mask compared to China where it is enforced absolutely and Europe there seems to be far less of a percentage of people who don't wear masks out. A woman was saying she felt safer in Crete than in the UK because mask wearing was so well enforced by the police (so non mask wearers are taking away her right to go out and feel safe).

I appreciate your efforts to overcome the hurdles to mask wearing and the people you encounter must do as well. Thank you.

I'm not condoning it at all and I get people are exempt.. I think it's the people who just don't want to wear one who are making people do faces and presuming
I did think why do I bother when in a shop (in an area with restrictions) I was the only person out of maybe 10 wearing a mask. Yes they could have all been exempt but the amount of people I've seen saying they won't wear one, kicking off about it, calling them nappies... it's those people that are causing issues for those who are exempt

@Burpeesshmurpees

What a load of rubbish. No one should have to stay home. Sure people should leave other people alone and mind their own business but it's equally ablist to tell people who have been shielding to stay home as it is to tell people with PTSD to do so!

That’s the point. Why do people think they are justified in telling disabled people to stay home or to have a right to private information about someone to assuage their “anxiety”? They don’t, any more than the anxious should stay home. But yet on these threads the former seems to be OK but not the latter. “Anxiety” seems to be used as a get out of jail free card and an excuse these days for acting like a dick. I have clinically diagnosed anxiety, I wonder how many of the mask Stasi actually do or are just using it as a front to pick on others.

*Spot on.

If people can't wear masks, which are uncomfortable for us all; it's not as if anyone enjoys it, they need to double other efforts to mitigate risk. Get someone else to shop, stay well more than 2 metres from others, etc.

It's not a free pass to do whatever you want.*

As always, you’re wrong. Exempt is exempt. It’s not “exempt if you follow a load of other rules I made up”.

God there are some absolute arseholes on this thread. I can actually feel myself getting angry reading some of the downright ridiculous comments!

I'm so sorry OP you have been exposed to this abuse. The belief that people have a right to police others, judge and abuse them, and have a right to know about their personal or medical information, judging from this thread, is shockingly common these days.

And the ageist comments about young people can piss off too (no I am not particularly young)

I despair, I really do.

It's not a free pass to do whatever you want.

Covid isn't a free pass to be an arsehole to other people either

I have started going out without a face covering in some situations because they are causing me to have panic attacks and hyperventilate. Surely hyperventilating produces more risk of aerosol than breathing normally and uncovered.

I'm not against the option of a lanyard if someone feels it is of benefit to them. As the mother of a child with ASD (fortunately clearly exempt on age) I don't feel it appropriate to wear one for my very specific and temporary issue when he has more complex, life long concerns. Sunflower lanyards were created to improve support opportunities for people with conditions such as ASD.

People should not be compelled to wear a lanyard. People should not be harassed or abused for not wearing a face covering- that is law. People like OP should not be forced to relive their trauma because of nasty busybodies with an empathy by-pass.

Exemptions will be quite high. In my family of four there are 3. My sensory overwhelm from my humid breath (and probably birth trauma mingled in as I struggle with the sight of others wearing them, but that's my problem and I just look down and avoid looking at people rather than choosing to abuse them because they make me deeply uncomfortable), DS1 has ASD and sensory processing disorder, DS2 has asthma. While I am happy to justify this in an anonymous setting, none of us should feel obliged to justify ourselves to random busy bodies with badges, lanyards or verbally.

Remember #Metoo, there are a hell of a lot of women out there who have suffered sexual abuse which will affect their ability to wear or be around masked people. No one should be penalised further by being targeted or told to remove themselves from society.

I'm embracing the looks and mutters. I don't care what they think or say I know I can't wear one and it's tough shit what others think.

Covid isn't a free pass to be an arsehole to other people either

And anxiety isn't a free pass to infect other people with a deadly virus either.

Why would wearing an exemption badge in shops only (you don't have to wear it outside the shop) be so difficult? I don't like wearing a mask, they are not comfortable, but I do it. I care enough about other people to follow the rules.

There are plenty of genuine arseholes out there who refuse to wear masks without a disability, and take no notice of social distancing. Do all of us socially responsible people not have the right to disapprove, especially if we ourselves have medical vulnerabilities and anxieties? I would not advocate harassing someone though.

We are happy to be inconvenienced so why can't a genuine person with a disability just wear a badge?

I find it rather strange tbh that people with asthma/copd/anxiety etc, and the OPs fear of being suffocated (it's been proven masks do not reduce oxygen levels, so it's an emotional issue) are willing to risk a lung disease which makes sufferers feel like they are being suffocated as it fills the lungs with fluid. Very odd logic.

We are happy to be inconvenienced so why can't a genuine person with a disability just wear a badge?

Because they don’t have to?

You have the right to disapprove internally, but it’s rude to let that feeling be known in public.

Maybe the logic you find odd comes from the fact that not everyone believes that Covid is lurking on every human that goes out in public waiting to jump on them, so the risk from the definitely present mask is far more significant than the risk from the probably not present Covid.

We are happy to be inconvenienced so why can't a genuine person with a disability just wear a badge?

Because their medical history is none of your business

I find it rather strange tbh that people with asthma/copd/anxiety etc, and the OPs fear of being suffocated (it's been proven masks do not reduce oxygen levels, so it's an emotional issue) are willing to risk a lung disease which makes sufferers feel like they are being suffocated as it fills the lungs with fluid. Very odd logic.

When did you have the empathy bypass?

@PinkSparklyPussyCat

We are happy to be inconvenienced so why can't a genuine person with a disability just wear a badge?

Because their medical history is none of your business

I find it rather strange tbh that people with asthma/copd/anxiety etc, and the OPs fear of being suffocated (it's been proven masks do not reduce oxygen levels, so it's an emotional issue) are willing to risk a lung disease which makes sufferers feel like they are being suffocated as it fills the lungs with fluid. Very odd logic.

When did you have the empathy bypass?

Actually, amid a global public health crisis, others' rationale for non-masking IS everyone's business.

"I just don't feel I should have to wear a lanyard " is not on.

Anyone could wear one of the badges. It doesn't make any difference to their ability to transmit covid. Some people who are exempt want to wear one before they feel more comfortable wearing one but I don't understand the obsession with other people wanting to see everyone wearing one. Do they want badges pinned on non mask wearing babies too.

@tornadoalley

Covid isn't a free pass to be an arsehole to other people either

And anxiety isn't a free pass to infect other people with a deadly virus either.

Why would wearing an exemption badge in shops only (you don't have to wear it outside the shop) be so difficult? I don't like wearing a mask, they are not comfortable, but I do it. I care enough about other people to follow the rules.

There are plenty of genuine arseholes out there who refuse to wear masks without a disability, and take no notice of social distancing. Do all of us socially responsible people not have the right to disapprove, especially if we ourselves have medical vulnerabilities and anxieties? I would not advocate harassing someone though.

We are happy to be inconvenienced so why can't a genuine person with a disability just wear a badge?

I find it rather strange tbh that people with asthma/copd/anxiety etc, and the OPs fear of being suffocated (it's been proven masks do not reduce oxygen levels, so it's an emotional issue) are willing to risk a lung disease which makes sufferers feel like they are being suffocated as it fills the lungs with fluid. Very odd logic.

Good point. One of these days when their lungs are turning to bloody mush in ICU and they lie there gasping with no visitors, they may look back wistfully at the "discomfort" of a small mask.

It is ‘on’ though' because there is no rule expecting people to wear lanyards or badges.

Both legally and morally, it isn’t anyone else’s business if someone doesn’t war a mask.

Actually the government guidelines make it clear it is none of your business.

I find it rather strange tbh that people with asthma/copd/anxiety etc, and the OPs fear of being suffocated (it's been proven masks do not reduce oxygen levels, so it's an emotional issue) are willing to risk a lung disease which makes sufferers feel like they are being suffocated as it fills the lungs with fluid. Very odd logic

What I find strange is the people who simply cannot understand why many (not all, each case is different) people with the conditions you mention cannot wear masks.

My own Dad has late stage COPD and heart failure that he is living with daily (or trying to). His breathing and circulation are extremely compromised and he cannot wear a face covering because any further obstruction would be very dangerous for him.

Why the fuck is that so impossible for some people to understand? I would have thought that the logic in it was crystal clear.

Should my elderly Dad now spend the rest of his remaining life shut away from the world and condemned to some miserable half-life? Just because some twats cannot cope with the fact that he cannot wear a mask?

Why should OP suffer similar discrimination? She has an equally valid reason for exemption. She should not have to broadcast her issues to all and sundry in public if she doesn't wish to.

Both legally and morally, it isn’t anyone else’s business if someone doesn’t war a mask.

This. Or, indeed, a lanyard or badge.

Good point. One of these days when their lungs are turning to bloody mush in ICU and they lie there gasping with no visitors, they may look back wistfully at the "discomfort" of a small mask.

Jesus Christ, you really are a nasty piece of work. What is so difficult for you to understand, a mask isn't just 'discomfort' for some people they CANNOT wear them and that is why there are exemptions.

As I see it the OP has three options;

1. Shop online or only at times when there are very few other people around until the mask restrictions are lifted.

1. Develop a coping strategy to deal with the behaviour of others.

1. Use therapy and desensitising to help her be able to wear a mask.

I don't know which is the most realistic option for the OP but at least she has choices.