Are people going inside elderly parent's houses now?

[ScammedOrWhat]

Officially the rules say we can, but I still feel that it's risky to go inside my parent's house.

DH is exposed to people at work. I work from home and am completely isolated other than occasional shop visits. So I feel like we're being as safe as we possibly can be.

My parents have formed an extended household with my sister and her DCs, but the DCs also spend time at their Dad's house, who has formed an extended household with his own parents. So there are multiple links there already.

My DM wants us to go over for dinner. I just don't know if it's safe - for them, rather than us. They're elderly and vulnerable. I'd never forgive myself if we passed the virus to them. But on the other hand, we have to start trying to return to normality, and we're as safe now as we'll ever be.

What are other people doing?

No, but elderly family have been coming to us. Kind of leaving the ball in their court. Did at one stage try keeping distance but that brought on a load of 'I feel so lonely I might aswell kill myself' emotional blackmail, so...yeah.

I think in this it's important to take the wishes of the elderly person into consideration.

This. If they are anxious and don't want to see you, then obviously don't go. But if they do want to see you, then don't be patronising about how risky it is for them and stay away. Being over 80 IS risky. In my mother's retirement community there was a man in his late 90s who was out and about quite gamely all spring. As he put it, it was an extraordinarily beautiful spring this year and if you're 96 you're probably not going to get another of those. If you do, you might not be mobile enough to get out and enjoy it. Sadly several of the people in the community whose used to be able to walk around independently with a bit of help lost strength and confidence during lockdown and are now wheelchair-bound.