I hate this, I absolutely hate it :'(

[bessiboop]

I hate this new "normal".

I hate it. I hate seeing everyone with facemasks on.

I hate the fear I feel leaving my house.
I hate that I'm paranoid to go anywhere.
I hate the anxiety, the uncertainty, the worry, the distance I have to maintain from my parents, nieces, nephews and friends.

I hate that my future doesn't seem bright because I'm really struggling to adapt to the new way of life.

I don't want to go to a a shopping centre
worrying about what I've touched, if If I've gotten to close to anyone.
I don't want to go to have my hair and nails done paranoid about a virus getting me.

I don't want to spend time worrying about symptoms, worrying if I'm going to die form the virus.

I want to leave my house, be relaxed, enjoy life again, go for a carefree coffee, meet a friend for dinner.

I don't feel like any of that is ever going to be possible for me because I absolutely cannot adjust to this normal, it's too hard.

Lockdown was easier for me. This is just too hard.

Incase you haven't guessed - I HATE IT.

So do I but my advice for optimal mental health is to focus on the serenity prayer.
Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

We can't change the facts of a worldwide pandemic or the government's response to it . We just can't, however we rail against it . We can try and implement some things to help us manage our anxiety and also work on our expectations. Also possibly campaign for the government to change some of the restrictions if you truly believe they are not necessary.

Otherwise I really don't have any other advice or help to offer ( and I mean that as kindly as possible). Life has changed for a lot of people and wishing for things back does not make it so.

Im wondering if you could get help for your anxiety from your GP.
If you don't want to speak to them you can self refer to IAPT and they will contact you.
I'm not sure this is a healthy level of worry about this and I think it would be exhausting to keep on like this as the virus isn't going away anytime soon.

Are you particularly vulnerable OP?
For most people it isn’t a killer

So don't get your hair or nails done but DO meet a friend for coffee in the park or DO meet a friend for dinner at a restaurant that has outdoor tables.

No one is loving this, but you have to make your own risk assessment and get on with life the best you can. Work on your resilience, be more logical and stop being paralysed by fear. Your way is not sustainable. I'm afraid you have to adapt, you have no choice.

I feel exactly the same OP.

No I'm not vulnerable, and I'm not going over the top in my responses in life.

But low level worry is there all the time, underlying. So while I'm going out and doing things, I'm not totally relaxed.

It's shit.

OP I mean this kindly, but unless you have any special reason to fear this virus more than the rest of us, I suggest you have an anxiety/depression issue that needs treating.

Why don't you talk to your GP about it? Because you don't need to be feeling like this, and I would wager that while no-one's happy about the situation, most are less anxious/down about it than that.

Me too. Feel like I have enough worries without the bloody virus making them even worse.

I have just told myself that this is how it will be now forever, so I either adjust and get on with it, or don't ever go anywhere or do anything.

For me this is a better option than worrying about it as some kind of interim phase.

I agree with PP OP, it does sound like maybe you need some help and should see your GP.

For the vast majority of people it isnt a killer.

You need to try and get a hold on your anxiety somehow its taken over.

You’d be surprised how many people feel this way OP. I’m just putting a brave face on it and getting out there anyway.
Went shopping for the first time this week and it has actually done me the world of good. Yes I had to wear a mask. Yes I drove and paid car parking rather then ‘risk’ the bus but I did something I used to enjoy. I tried some things at home and they didn’t fit (lockdown weight gain) so I’ll go back again this week and swap them.
Small steps. Repeating what works and avoiding what doesn’t seems to be working well for me.

Yeah it’s horrible for everyone. It’s tough shit though isn’t it? We just have to put up with it.

We're in a pandemic. It is not going to last forever, even if it feels like it now. Maybe you could get some perspective by understanding how other pandemics have been dealt with in the past e.g. H1N1 flu in 2010, previous influenza pandemics in the 1960s and earlier. Yes it is very tough at the moment but it is temporary. It is not the first and won't be the last pandemic and humans are nothing if not adaptable.

I feel the same, OP. In many ways lockdown itself was easier than having to constantly adjust one's anxieties as things ease in an erratic and inconsistent way. The only thing I tell myself, is that although it is not over yet by quite some distance, it will be eventually, and one day we will be able to resume a normal life again. In the meantime, do something, one thing a day especially for yourself, to make yourself feel a bit special, to get through this difficult time.

i miss the sponteneity and freedom, the kids' lives might be ...different, we might have to be constantly careful but there will be pleasure and love and kindness and laughter, and its given me a real chance to re-evaluate what life is really about (do we really want to go back to 100% normal with the mindless consumerism and environmental ruin) op if its any help look after yourself, do the things that make you happy whether its reading, cooking, painting or whatever you enjoy, that has helped me xx

@bumblingbovine49

I recite the serenity prayer in my head at least 100 times a day....

It really does help when you’re a control freak - like me! I hate the feeling of not being able to control situations, so saying the serenity prayer in my head brings me back down to earth and makes me realise that there’s very little point winding myself up over things I can’t control!

I'm asthmatic and overweight so yeah I guess I'm vulnerable.

I just hate it.

I'm so totally fed up. I see other people going out and doing things and wonder how, how are they just so "normal".
Aren't they afraid?

I don't want to die from this, I don't want to end up hospital or on a ventilator.
It's just awful.

No I haven't spoken to my GP.
I'm not depressed, I just hate this way of life.
A GP can't change that for me.

I can't tolerate uncertainty and not knowing what the future holds is like torture.

Every day I feel like I'm carrying a huge weight on my shoulders, I felt like prior to this I had so much to look forward to, now I don't.
I don't want to go on a holiday and wear a mask or worry about Covid.

I tried going to the supermarket a few days ago. It was a nightmare.

I was absolutely petrified to push the trolley.
I was scared to pick things up off of the shelves I just didn't want to touch a single thing.

I came home and had to wash my clothes, my hair, washed the inside of my car.
It's just too exhausting.

That's not life. 😔

But OP, most people don’t have it . That’s what I make myself repeat. It’s a risk just like so many other things including illnesses and your risk of dying from Covid is still minute . I agree it’s shit and I think it’s good to acknowledge you hate it , I do too, but I wake up each day and try and forget about it and go about my day. Just like if something else shit was happening in your life. Things are crap sometimes but nothing lasts forever .

@bessiboop

I'm asthmatic and overweight so yeah I guess I'm vulnerable.

I just hate it.

I'm so totally fed up. I see other people going out and doing things and wonder how, how are they just so "normal".
Aren't they afraid?

I don't want to die from this, I don't want to end up hospital or on a ventilator.
It's just awful.

No I haven't spoken to my GP.
I'm not depressed, I just hate this way of life.
A GP can't change that for me.

I can't tolerate uncertainty and not knowing what the future holds is like torture.

Every day I feel like I'm carrying a huge weight on my shoulders, I felt like prior to this I had so much to look forward to, now I don't.
I don't want to go on a holiday and wear a mask or worry about Covid.

I tried going to the supermarket a few days ago. It was a nightmare.

I was absolutely petrified to push the trolley.
I was scared to pick things up off of the shelves I just didn't want to touch a single thing.

I came home and had to wash my clothes, my hair, washed the inside of my car.
It's just too exhausting.

That's not life. 😔

This does sound like anxiety to me.

Often with anxiety you yourself don't feel like you have it and no one can help you. Without being unkind it isn't so normal to feel this bad. I don't know anyone who does..... I would suggest speaking to your GP even if they do say there's nothing

I'm feeling the strain too at the moment. While schools were still in, I had a structure to my life, I got through it. Now it's the holidays and I feel I should be doing things with my kids. We're not a very outdoorsy family, we usually love water parks, and indoor rock climbing, and scooter parking, and laser tagging and we can't do any of those things. Feeding the ducks is not a summer holiday. I don't fancy heading to anywhere touristy, as I can't face anywhere jam packed. Even though my kids seem to be really enjoying doing next to nothing, I feel like I am letting them down.

But this will end. There will come a day when we do not have a single thought about Covid. We won't even notice that we haven't thought about it. It will come.

In my mind I’ve kind of written off this year, which is shite but in the grand scheme of things isn’t too terrible.

But yes to totally agree with everything you said it’s crapper than crap and I hate it too.

The thought of living like this for the next year, even longer, it's just awful 😞

I'm sorry you are feeling this way.
Yes it is awful and lots of people absolutely hate it.

I hate that my DS was starting to enjoy more freedom and that's basically been taken away from him. He will be all grown up soon and won't want to holiday with us etc. Next year will be GCSE's for him so another stressful year.

My parents are getting older so it really isn't a great time to not be able to see them loads or hug them.

It's tough though isn't it. You just have to get on with it. Most people around the world are in the same situation or worse.

Find the positives in life.
Also try to do some things - meet people in a local park, go to the shop later at night when it's quiet etc.

Ring your gp.

Speak to your GP pronto.

A few weeks ago I felt very similar to you but I’ve now made myself start getting out and about again and it has done me the world of good. I’ve been to shops having previously not done so since March, taken the kids to zoos, seaside, national parks, eaten out and booked my hair and nail appointments. Yes I’m careful when I go out, socially distance and wash / sanitise hands regularly but I’ve realised that I can’t hide at home for god knows how long.
The more you get out the better you will feel. I’ve even stopped washing my shopping which id have been too anxious to do a few weeks ago.