I hate this, I absolutely hate it :'(

[bessiboop]

I hate this new "normal".

I hate it. I hate seeing everyone with facemasks on.

I hate the fear I feel leaving my house.
I hate that I'm paranoid to go anywhere.
I hate the anxiety, the uncertainty, the worry, the distance I have to maintain from my parents, nieces, nephews and friends.

I hate that my future doesn't seem bright because I'm really struggling to adapt to the new way of life.

I don't want to go to a a shopping centre
worrying about what I've touched, if If I've gotten to close to anyone.
I don't want to go to have my hair and nails done paranoid about a virus getting me.

I don't want to spend time worrying about symptoms, worrying if I'm going to die form the virus.

I want to leave my house, be relaxed, enjoy life again, go for a carefree coffee, meet a friend for dinner.

I don't feel like any of that is ever going to be possible for me because I absolutely cannot adjust to this normal, it's too hard.

Lockdown was easier for me. This is just too hard.

Incase you haven't guessed - I HATE IT.

Tomorrow was never promised to any of us all our lives op. This is just another way we could die. Enjoy today. Live for today. Smile. Laugh. See the people that mean the most to you. For that is the only way to live life with or without coronavirus being in the world. A hero only dies one death a coward dies a thousand times. Take care op and get help if you need it but make sure whatever you decide laugh, smile, see the people that matter to you the most.

@bessiboop

I hate this new "normal".

I hate it. I hate seeing everyone with facemasks on.

I hate the fear I feel leaving my house.
I hate that I'm paranoid to go anywhere.
I hate the anxiety, the uncertainty, the worry, the distance I have to maintain from my parents, nieces, nephews and friends.

I hate that my future doesn't seem bright because I'm really struggling to adapt to the new way of life.

I don't want to go to a a shopping centre
worrying about what I've touched, if If I've gotten to close to anyone.
I don't want to go to have my hair and nails done paranoid about a virus getting me.

I don't want to spend time worrying about symptoms, worrying if I'm going to die form the virus.

I want to leave my house, be relaxed, enjoy life again, go for a carefree coffee, meet a friend for dinner.

I don't feel like any of that is ever going to be possible for me because I absolutely cannot adjust to this normal, it's too hard.

Lockdown was easier for me. This is just too hard.

Incase you haven't guessed - I HATE IT.

It’s going to get better. But I hate it all too. But it will get better. Pinky promise!

OP I'm feeling similar. I do have a history of anxiety and depression. However meds might only be part of the answer, as this seems to be a reaction to the current situation. Something like CBT might help a little

We can't control what happens, only how we react to it. I have struggled with feeling like the coping things I use for my mental health have gone, or changed, such as swimming has become a massive hassle, and stressful instead of relaxing, so there is this underlying street which is putting me off, and then like a cycle without doing it my MH gets worse...

So like you I have been reacting to it and going over it in my head - I veer from syncing myself up with positive talk, trying it, hating it, giving up and feeling I will just not do anything. I also really struggle with the masks which make me really panicky.

What I am trying for now is finding ways around things

Shopping for food - getting online for delivery so can order at home, also trying a local milkman service. This means can try shops only if I feel like it rather than have to

Exercise- finding things to do outside - walking (I know boring) but it is something, each day, and maybe joining an outdoor exercise class in the park. I might try borrow my dog which is where you help someone who can't walk their dog and use this to get the DC out.

Reading / cooking perhaps although not very motivated at present

I have also ordered a buddy box for myself from the Blurt foundation which is a self care subscription box, and try self care such as a bubble bath and try a routine daily (going to pot right now but might start again)

and trying not to watch too much news

It does still feel overwhelming, for me it is my DH who has health problems and got a shielding letter, which is my worry and my son who was very ill as a child...and on oxygen...so those worries are there and it is really hard to live with I agree

It will end. It will. This isn’t forever. I worry about my son’s future sometimes but then I look at him and he’s so ridiculously resilient and adaptable I’ve followed his lead. He’s nearly four and this whole situation has not phased him at all. He knows to stay close, he knows to let people pass, he knows mummy and daddy have to wear a mask in shops. He’s got one too if he wants it. Life just moves on. He won’t know different I suppose but he does know things have changed. I freaked out the first few times I went to the shops - now it’s fine. I have to make myself face these things.

I dislike it intensely and I look forward to being a bit more normal. I’m back at school in September full time and that’s causing me some anxiety but it is what it is. I’m secondary and I’ll be moving round the school which I’m not looking forward to! But it’ll be fine I’m sure. We have to support each other. Have you got people around you?

New normal isn’t a phrase I like - it isn’t normal! But knowing that it’s finite, knowing that at some point we will likely fix this, helps.

I'm so sorry to hear how you feel, it must be dreadful to feel as you do. But not everyone feels that way....perhaps you are being over anxious?

For a start this isn't going to last forever. And to be honest, it isn't that different now things are starting to open up again. I can't get worked up about the masks and obviously we need to be careful to keep our distance... I don't worry about touching things as I wear gloves; in truth I was always a bit iffy about handling stuff when out (supermarket trolley handles, door handles etc.) even before COVID, so I worry far less now as I can wear gloves without anyone batting an eyelid about it....

Today I went to a local market and it was teeming with people, not everyone was in a mask, stall holders doing a fine trade, children eating ice creams.... Didn't seem too different from usual in fact.

Absolutely cannot armchair diagnose you, would be unethical. But based on what you have written...anxiety is so mentally and physiologically desperately overwhelming when you are in the grips of it. A very different creature to depression. Please speak to someone who can help.

I went to dinner in a hotel in Bo’ness in the Lake District last night and to be quite frank you would have not known there was any difference from before. It was the first time that it all felt normal!!

Yep, agree with everything said.
I had been ill, had got over it. Blood tests all good. Only one simple operation to finish everything. So shielding until called to hospital.
Planned to change the car. Just before lockdown we had a test drive arranged.

Still waiting for hospital procedure and no late summer driving holiday across Europe.
It's a bugger but we can change nothing.
My only release is to rant against the anti-mask dementors who will cause or make worse the second wave. Stupids!

Me too. It's hideous. I'm on anti anxiety tablets and anti depressants but I don't think it's anxiety or depression- it's a genuinely shit situation.

And I don't know if anyone else has found this, but it seems to be bringing out the worst in other people but particularly big bully men. Yesterday two men barked at my elderly mother for standing too close to them (in a theme park queue.. she was 1m away and in a mask). She said it's been happening to her all the time and is always big men.... She's one of the more careful ones in a mask all the time so it seems people have just become meaner.

Hi OP, as with any thread where you suggest living in a global pandemic isn't super-duper, people will say you need to get mental health help.

This could be true. However many people are experiencing expected levels of low mood and worry.

Some of the people who claim to be 'fine' are incapable of processing it all themselves.

So think carefully if you are too anxious - and maybe speak to someone who knows you or read up to double check.

But if actually, like me, you just think it is totally shit, I think you're allowed to moan and rant a bit.

I went to work today, was nice to see people. Going out tomorrow, will be nice to see people. It's still a fucking pile of crap, with no sign of ending, plus economic crap to come.

it's bollocks

You don't realise you have anxiety OP. Your reaction to the supermarket isn't rational. We can wash our hands, not touch faces and don't spend long hanging around people.
This will go away at some point, like the Spanish flu did.
Losing weight is something you can take control of. That will leave asthma, and as you are a woman (age under 70?) statistically you aren't in at high risk.
Take control of what you can control - vitamin D, multivitamins, get some sunshine, meet friends for socially distanced walks and bike rides. If you aren't working, use the time to learn a new language or musical instrument. Plan a holiday for 2021, but don't book it. Just to give yourself something to look forward to.
I do understand. It is a bit shit. But we're all in it together and have to boost our own morale whilst helping elderly relatives to have some quality of life.

I'm also overweight and asthmatic (not enough to shield) and help care for elderly, vulnerable parents. I do understand where you're coming from as sometimes I feel exactly the same.

That said, I think seeking advice from your GP would be advisable as you can't live with that state of anxiety indefinitely.

I was forced to get back out there to some extent. A failed shopping delivery meant a trip to the supermarket was vital. Elderly parents needed supplies from pharmacy, and then 6 weeks ago I was told I could no longer work from home (keyworker but in an admin role).

It has helped. I saw my best friend last week - the first social contact I've had with anyone in RL since March. We met for a picnic then went back to hers and had coffee in the garden and it was lovely. I'm trying to arrange something similar each week with different friends.

There's still a lot I won't do but managing what I can helps. Taking my meds regularly plus have added supplements and eating more fruit and veg, trying to exercise and lose a bit of weight, and, if I'm honest, prepping a bit so if we have a second wave I'm ready.

Like @OverTheRainbow88 I've written off this year (and next tbh but hope things will be improving my next summer), but I do believe we will conquer this eventually.

Other pandemics have fizzled out without any of the technology and research and science we have available now. We've have two world wars but things when back to normal. It's just a case of finding a way to cope while they're not.

I really feel your pain OP I was in such a state at the start of this, on the shielding list too so I genuinely thought if I left the house I would die!

I’m not a conspiracy theorist, and I will probably get slammed on here for this, but I started to look at all this from a more logical rational perspective and started living my life again, albeit with more hand washing etc etc

Something about all this just doesn’t sit right, there have been far more dangerous things in circulation before and never this level of extreme and constant fear mongering, lockdowns and rules that are ruining people’s lives and livelihoods and taking so much away from our children’s lives! I may be wrong but I do think there is some other reason for the level of fear and paranoia that the media has rammed down our throats every 5 mins for the past 5 months.

Think sensibly and rationally, take it step by step and each day start getting out and enjoying life again. The mental impact of this is huge and in the long run will make people very ill xxx

I'm not going to 'slam' anyone, but when you say there have been far more dangerous things in circulation before - what examples?

It's just all seems so uncertain and permanent 😔

Life is pretty normal for me. Wear a mask in a supermarket but I’ve been going out for coffees and meals. WFH is great.

@labyrinthloafer

I'm not going to 'slam' anyone, but when you say there have been far more dangerous things in circulation before - what examples?

Smallpox, killed 1 in 3 who got it Bubonic plague, killed 1 in 2 who got it Covid kills 1 in 200 who get it, probably less. Completely different

The thing is with Covid, it's not a case of 'who gets it'.

It's genetic structure is different from other corona viruses so no one has natural immunity.

I thought the poster meant recently!

Would be interested to know what wonders of medical science delivered those outcomes for bubonic plague

@labyrinthloafer

Hi OP, as with any thread where you suggest living in a global pandemic isn't super-duper, people will say you need to get mental health help.

This could be true. However many people are experiencing expected levels of low mood and worry.

Some of the people who claim to be 'fine' are incapable of processing it all themselves.

So think carefully if you are too anxious - and maybe speak to someone who knows you or read up to double check.

But if actually, like me, you just think it is totally shit, I think you're allowed to moan and rant a bit.

I went to work today, was nice to see people. Going out tomorrow, will be nice to see people. It's still a fucking pile of crap, with no sign of ending, plus economic crap to come.

it's bollocks

I think plenty people have anxiety and maybe dont realise. Part of the condition is not necessarily knowing you have it and feel that issues are insurmountable.

It's hard to tell friends, I find, if you think they're struggling but it's easier to say your worried to strangers online and to give the suggestion of depression or anxiety. If OP thinks it's bollocks and wants to ignore then absolutely fine, but no harm in gently surgesting it. It may help. You never know

And as for people who aren't bothered but you think they're just processing it. No - some people , myself included are genuinely not fussed by it. I take the necessary precautions as required by law and otherwise I'm unconcerned. Call me blasé I don't mind but I've had much much worse things happen in my family, so I really am at peace with this situation (despite being on the sheilding list - I did choose not to,). Whilst I accept I've said to some people it may be mental health issues, I accept they may not believe so, but I hope you would believe some people really aren't troubled by this situation

OP I mean this kindly I think you have quite a high level of anxiety around this. Yes we have to be careful but by maintaining social distancing, washing hands etc it should reduce the risk.

In very early stages of lockdown I was like you about supermarket. Washed clothes / hair / door handles etc plus all shopping, left shoes outside. Didn’t wash shopping bags or car as in theory after 72 hours any virus would be dead before I used them again as was advice at that time. But going back each week I’ve tried to do less and the anxiety has reduce dramatically.

So one week I didn’t wash my hair that night. The week after I didn’t wipe down the shopping. After that I didn’t get changed. After that shoes came inside and so on. Now I go to the supermarket as I did before lockdown with the exception of wearing a mask and a little bottle of anti bac gel in case I touch something I feel is particularly dirty (which is rare).

You need to persevere and manage your anxiety to a level you can live with which allows you to live as normal a life as possible - even just for your own sanity.

As pp have aid you can self refer to IAPT - do it - there’s loads of tools and cbt really helps

@OpheliasCrayon yes, that is why I said 'some of the people...' rather than all.

You are worrying about things that havent actually happened though. What if in a year this has all gone away and you have worried for nothing. Lots of things in the past have felt permanent but haven't been. Choose to focus on positive possibilities. Focus on what you can do as well rather than what you can't. You are better off than most of the world's population surely. You have food, shelter, internet probably a car. Imagine if those things were taken away. Maybe every morning you could write a list of everything that you are grateful for. Focus on losing weight if you feel that is a big risk factor for you. Because whatever you do worrying is not going to change the outcome of anything.

I feel the same I am worried about
My parents getting it
Wearing masks permanently
Recession
Mental health
Suicides
Poverty

I am anxious and hate it I can't even say the words NN

I hate the fact we both lost our jobs due to COVID, job offer retracted due to COVID, interviews on hold due to COVID and so we've been living off our savings since April which was going to go towards moving and buying a new house. Just thankful we had savings otherwise we'd be f**ked.