I hate this, I absolutely hate it :'(

[bessiboop]

I hate this new "normal".

I hate it. I hate seeing everyone with facemasks on.

I hate the fear I feel leaving my house.
I hate that I'm paranoid to go anywhere.
I hate the anxiety, the uncertainty, the worry, the distance I have to maintain from my parents, nieces, nephews and friends.

I hate that my future doesn't seem bright because I'm really struggling to adapt to the new way of life.

I don't want to go to a a shopping centre
worrying about what I've touched, if If I've gotten to close to anyone.
I don't want to go to have my hair and nails done paranoid about a virus getting me.

I don't want to spend time worrying about symptoms, worrying if I'm going to die form the virus.

I want to leave my house, be relaxed, enjoy life again, go for a carefree coffee, meet a friend for dinner.

I don't feel like any of that is ever going to be possible for me because I absolutely cannot adjust to this normal, it's too hard.

Lockdown was easier for me. This is just too hard.

Incase you haven't guessed - I HATE IT.

Coronavirus is a part of modern life now - but with sensible, simple precautions we can get on with living without it being at the forefront of our minds all the time. I barely ever think about it, and I’m certainly not frightened - and I don’t think I’m unusual.

I don't think it unusual not to be frightened, but I do think many many people would not say they 'barely ever think about it' as it is still front page news, still affecting many aspects of life, still affecting work and school.

Most importantly we are nationally nowhere close to a steady state yet, as there is still a lot of change in guidance etc. all the time.

I had to think about it four or five times at work alone yesterday, as it directly impacts what we do and how we do it.

Some of the tediously predictable replies to this thread (wah wah wah/don't you know there are people starving/being subjected to genocide/dying of malaria etc) show why there is such a stigma attached to mental health difficulties.

This is a shit situation and it is going to get worse with the economic fallout, anyone who denies that must be in a very comfortable and insulated bubble. Or they are just being goady.

The government hasn't helped with its mixed messages and mixed policies of scaring us then telling us we all need to be going out.

I think speakout has it right. There is nothing we can do as individuals to change what is happening, it is so far out of our control. Be kind to yourself. Try to remember that the chances of catching COVID 19 are still small and most people recover from it. If you are really struggling, go to your GP. And remember, this will end at some point.

(The illustration is from Charlie Maksey's The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse).

TheAirbender thank you- and I am sorry to hear of the challenges you also face.
It has taken me a few years to get to this place, and I sometimes have days where it all goes pear shaped, but mostly it is the life I strive to live.
Living with MH problems in the family is probably the toughest thing I have had to face, felling powerless, the burden, the guilt, the frustration.
But I refuse to allow this MH situation to drag down two of us, and indeed the wider family.
Apart from supporting treatment finding my own authentic joy is the single most important thing I can do for myself, and for my family members, including the one suffering.
The more I practice walking with calm and a light heart the easier it becomes. Much like if we find ourselves thinking in those deep muddy ruts of cognitive despair and sorrow, our wheels get stuck and we can see no other paths.
I have my mat rolled out, my candle lit, windows open to let in the sweet morning air,just about to do 30 minutes of yoga on youtube while my family is still asleep.

I hope everyone finds some joy today.

We all cope with what life throws at us differently.

Finding really small things that help us to remember life can be good in most circumstances helps me, so watching birds in the garden or a good immersive programme on TV or listening to music or having a hot bath or whatever distracts your mind is good.

Try to focus on small wins over anxiety so for example today when the mail comes through the letterbox don't quarantine it. See how doing that feels, is to much anxiety or can you cope? Then adjust accordingly.

Don't try to go too fast in anything, go gently.

Agree OP. I am not scared of the virus and may even have it now - isolating until can get a test - (would be the second time -first in March) but I hate what has been revealed about people and their irrational fears and willingness to give up fundamental humanity (hugging friends) for some absurd obsession with safety.
I am angry with the government for peddling this message and for their inept responses and for kowtowing to the hysteria that closed schools.
But equally despairing of the way people are assuming that things are better handled in France/Spain etc when they are clearly not.
And the people who are mindlessly repeating the 'masks will save us' mantra despite no evidence at all -they probably still believe in Santa Claus.

Hi OP
I just want to say i totally sympathise with you and totally understand where you are coming from. Some people dont get mental
Health and no matter how much you try to explain to them they will never get it.
As an anxiety sufferer myself, i can say you are experiencing anxiety. Everyone worries and that is normal. Anxiety is worrying all the time in a sense ( well for me it is)

Like you i have also found it very hard to deal
Right from the beginning. It is even harder if you are an anxiety sufferer. My husband was never phased by it at all and thought i was loopy. Lol.

But he doesnt have anxiety so he was able to get on normally, he has worked the whole time and hasn't done anything different to how he would normally do. He doesnt think too far ahead and wonder how long this will last and when will things get back to normal. He takes it one day at a time.

I on the other hand do worry excessively because as said before i have anxiety. I have never taken meds as they werent really
My thing but some people find them really helpful, that is an option for you that the gp will help you with.

When i begin worrying it can really
Spiral out of control so its sometimes good to try and get out of that by thinking of positives you have in your life. Meditation is also very calming.

Feel free to private message me if u fancy a chat. Xx

I feel your pain OP - I meet my friends in the park with our camping chairs and we have a can of g&t each. It’s safe, and really fun, like being on a very short camping trip. We can’t go back to our old lives yet, but there are things you can do that make you feel human again. We also walk around farmers markets which feels like shopping (in a way). I feel that if you’re outside And wearing a mask if it’s crowded it’s ok really. Would not go on a tube or in a shopping centre though.
Try to concentrate on things you can do, and when you start to feel less scared you’ll be able to do more and more.

@IDidntChoseThePondLife

I feel your pain OP - I meet my friends in the park with our camping chairs and we have a can of g&t each. It’s safe, and really fun, like being on a very short camping trip. We can’t go back to our old lives yet, but there are things you can do that make you feel human again. We also walk around farmers markets which feels like shopping (in a way). I feel that if you’re outside And wearing a mask if it’s crowded it’s ok really. Would not go on a tube or in a shopping centre though. Try to concentrate on things you can do, and when you start to feel less scared you’ll be able to do more and more.

I think this is good advice - focus on what you can do and focus on making that work.

@Theoandelsie well said I feel the same and a lot of people who never suffered before are now !!!

@speakout

TheAirbender thank you- and I am sorry to hear of the challenges you also face. It has taken me a few years to get to this place, and I sometimes have days where it all goes pear shaped, but mostly it is the life I strive to live. Living with MH problems in the family is probably the toughest thing I have had to face, felling powerless, the burden, the guilt, the frustration. But I refuse to allow this MH situation to drag down two of us, and indeed the wider family. Apart from supporting treatment finding my own authentic joy is the single most important thing I can do for myself, and for my family members, including the one suffering. The more I practice walking with calm and a light heart the easier it becomes. Much like if we find ourselves thinking in those deep muddy ruts of cognitive despair and sorrow, our wheels get stuck and we can see no other paths. I have my mat rolled out, my candle lit, windows open to let in the sweet morning air,just about to do 30 minutes of yoga on youtube while my family is still asleep.

I hope everyone finds some joy today.

You ladies are prob finding it hard to support someone with mental health I had a breakdown last year and put a lot of pressure on my family and partner but with their love and support I got through it x

And this is a huge but- we can control our response to this situation- that is something we have a huge amount of control over.
Yes, it is a choice. Some choose whining.

choli

Yes, it is a choice. Some choose whining.

I didn't say it is a choice.
I said we have some control over our situation- two very different things.

For people suffering from anxiety or some other MH condition it is certainly not a choice, but it can be a situation that they can have some control over.

choli, are you getting a kick out of being so nasty?

I find it really weird seeing everyone in masks, I find it scary not knowing how the virus could affect me and my loved ones BUT I still find the joy in each day, I still enjoy life. I'm thankful this virus isn't more deadly. The vast majority will recover. Imagine if it had a higher mortality rate. I'm still living life to the full but just being careful. I love going for walks in nature, I've been out for meals at restaurants (just sitting outside), I've spent quality time with family. I'm about to go on holiday to a little cottage in the middle of nowhere. Life is still good. Focus on the good. This virus will either be managed by a vaccine/treatment or it'll fizzle out. For now just make the most of each day.

Sally you might find these interesting (and anyone else who feels the same, or struggles with masks)

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/slightly-blighty/202005/the-psychology-wearing-face-mask

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/out-the-ooze/202006/why-face-masks-give-us-the-creeps

There seems to be a pushback on here at times to people expressing or tallying about their feelings or emotions. People tend to be told they should not be feeling such things, or invalidated. I'm not sure why

Perhaps the posters doing this have been told the same growing up.

talking

It's OK to feel angry, sad, or happy...emotions are OK.

I'm sorry if I came across as too harsh. I think the problem is that I have so many of my own problems right now and it's so overwhelming that I feel frustrated listening to other people complain when their problems seem so minor in comparison.

Yesterday, a family member phoned me and complained non-stop about how hard coronavirus has been on them financially and how much their business is suffering and I really felt so awful for her. She then said that she couldn't decided whether to go abroad or stay in the UK this summer and that she was thinking of building an extension on their kitchen. I just felt so angry at her. We can't afford to go anywhere this summer and can't afford to have work done on the house. I just don't want to speak to her anymore.

I just feel so angry when I see these threads where people are complaining about how hard it is wearing a face mask to the supermarket or how tough life is because they can only meet friends outdoors. There have been over half a million deaths from coronavirus so far. It just seems so utterly insensitive, like complaining about a splinter to a friend who has cancer.

BUT, I do realise that this is my issue, so I will leave Mumsnet for now for my own mental health. All the best!

You do sound very anxious GP.
I think you should call your GP too. Look at getting support.
It is shit but this will end at some point. But dont put up with feeling this bad in the meantime.

No one is loving this new normal.

Do you know about comfort circles? The more you become to your inner voice the smaller your comfort circle gets, until it feels like its strangling you.

The more you expose yourself to your fears the less they control you.

I went to a food shop in April and just couldn't even get out of the car. Now I'm out at the shopping centre, went to a restaurant today for the first time. My fear is still there but its smaller. The more I go out, the better I feel.

CBT and medication will help. Honestly my son was school refusing for years so I was in fight or flight mode for years. With CBT and medication it was like a switch had been turned off. All that stress and he never got to even sit his gcses in the end. Wasted energy in retrospect as the "will he go in for his gcses?" Didnt come to pass.

It's called catastrophising. But mostly things dont always turn out to be the worst option. I'm over weight with high BP so the odds are that it might kill me too. But it might not, or I might not even catch it. I might all ready of had it, i might be a mild case, i might be a bad case but recover. Theres so many possibilities. No one has constantly the worse outcomes to everything.

Life is still out there. Waiting to be enjoyed. It's just different. Lower levels expectations means more trivial things are fun now. Like missing my holiday in Spain made swimming in the freezing UK sea feel amazing. Not as good as my old life or the life I wanted. But it was still amazing neather the less

I feel the same OP

@Legoandloldolls that is an amazing post. Thank you